sorabji.com: Who are you?: I AM CAnADIan
By J-GURL on Tuesday, July 21, 1998 - 08:16 pm:
    I need to say what a freakin' awesome web-site! I live in northern Ontario and love it here. It is the best place in the world to trip out/buzz out/party (not to say that I've been around the world but, I've found it is the best place to be so far in my adventures). I have spent the past two hours on this site and I have found so much shit I can relate to and even, though I'm sober I was tripping reading some of Nate's thoughts(momma take me from these's dreams, I've posted some thoughts there as well)! I am looking forward to reading some interesting posts. Thanks for taking time to read my notsointeresting message!

By In jest on Saturday, December 5, 1998 - 12:38 am:

    Your welcome. Um is that cheese good?
    What the hell are mucklucls,tooks, and loonys?
    Damn Canada! Damn You! Damn you all!
    USA should kick your ass for making up stupid words like that. Your money is worthless.
    Your country sucks.
    I'm glad you could relate now get a life you Canuck looser; 2 hours? damn get a hobby.

By Anita on Tuesday, May 4, 1999 - 07:26 pm:

    here in austrelia ,i found that messagefrom in
    jest. a little rude. but then again i don"t live

    in your part of the world so i don't follow your humor.

By Rhiannon on Friday, May 7, 1999 - 11:34 am:

    Have you ever seen the Kids in the Hall episode where Buddy Cole tries to make the word "Canadian" sound sexy? Hysterical.

By Semillama on Friday, May 7, 1999 - 05:48 pm:

    Mukluks: inuit boots, the best in the world for keeping your feet warm

    "Tooks": Touk- a winter hat. Where I'm from, sometimes pronounced "Chouk" with a slightly hard "ch" as in "church".

    Loony: a canadian dollar coin. Americans aren't creative enough to have nicknames for our coins, apparently.

    Nothing wrong with word like that when we come up with crap like Post-traumatic stress disorder and collateral damage.

By Wisper on Saturday, May 8, 1999 - 04:28 am:

    hey, don't forget the toonie!

By Gee on Sunday, May 9, 1999 - 06:30 pm:

    Now I'm gonna have a beer commercial stuck in my head all day...

By Slacker on Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - 04:41 am:

    i suppose it's better than having a fork stuck in your head.

By Flurp on Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - 04:56 am:

    How come Anita couldnt spell the name of her own country??

By Slacker on Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - 05:06 am:

    because it's not really hers.
    she just borrowed it.

By TRAxel on Wednesday, June 2, 1999 - 11:15 pm:

    WOW you have some nerve saying that my country Canada sucks!! It is sooo beautiful here. I could say a whole bunch of stuff about the States but that would make me just as low as you In JEST.

By Markus on Thursday, June 3, 1999 - 08:04 pm:

    That was said LAST YEAR. You're not helping your cause here any. Let's pick up the pace a little up there.

By Stunner on Sunday, June 6, 1999 - 07:18 pm:

    First and foremost to you In jest. Go FUCK yourself!!! It's people like you that give your country a bad name. I see you as a ignorant, weak beer drinking, trailer home living redneck. Of course I wouldn't want to place any stereotypes of any kind about Americans. I accept people no matter where they're from. As far as Canada is concerned, hey we got everything that you all have down there. One thing we don't have is dumb ass people who think they're so great who like making ASSES of themselves. Spend a little time reading son, you'll realize that you live in a pretty fucked up country. If our biggest problem is words. Then I'll take that over crime, poverty, corrupt governments and ignorant people any day of the week. You don't like Canada. That's fine, stay the fuck in the US!!!!

By Markus on Sunday, June 6, 1999 - 08:48 pm:

    I'm stunned.

By Gee on Tuesday, June 8, 1999 - 03:30 am:

    Wow. A patriotic Canadian. I think That's the really stunning part.

By J on Tuesday, June 8, 1999 - 12:10 pm:

    I,ve been to Canada and I thought it was beautiful,but what do I know,I,m a transplanted red-neck.

By Gee on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 04:03 pm:

    Don't kid yourself - Canada IS beautiful. If you can just overlook the people.

By Proud Canadian on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 05:47 pm:

    What the F*$^ do you mean "If you can just overlook the people"??

    Canadians are more friendly, more polite, and generally nicer than our American neighbours. Why do you think when Americans tour Europe many if not all put Canadian flags on their bags?

    Could it be because the world veiws Americans as pompous, arogant, and rude??? Damn right!!!!

    Speaking for Canadians, Don't come here, we don't want you screwing up our harmony. Like your mother told you, If you can't say any thing nice don't say anything at all!

    Christ I hope I never meet you, Gee.

By Markus on Friday, June 11, 1999 - 02:27 am:

    You forgot to add, more insecure than your American neighbo(u)rs. Christ, it doesn't take much of a troll to send the frozen parts of North America into a spasm. And where they get that perpetual canard about the flag on the bag, God knows. It's so cute, the way Cannucks think the US is as obsessed with them as they are with the US. And so sad when they find out that Americans never think about Canada once over the course of an average year.

    Just so you know, Gee isn't even from this hemisphere.

    Hope I didn't screw up your harmony.

By R.C. on Friday, June 11, 1999 - 02:45 am:

    Floridians think abt Canada, Markus. When we're trying to come up w/ways to get them to stop swarming here like roaches from Nov. to April. The unfavorable forex rate kept many of them away this season. But we'll need another scheme next year.

    Anway/time for bed. Say g'nite Six.

By Cyst on Friday, June 11, 1999 - 05:26 am:

    "Canadians are more friendly, more polite, and generally nicer than our American neighbours. Why do you think when Americans tour Europe many if not all put Canadian flags on their bags?"

    this simply is not true. not many american (or canadian, apparently) tourists put canadian flags on their backpacks.

    I live in ukraine and take frequent trips to touristy cities in western europe, and out of the zillions of jansports I've seen, only once in the last year have I seen a canadian flag.

    until I saw it, I thought it was an internet and guide book myth. I considered asking him if he was american or canadian but didn't.

By Gee on Friday, June 11, 1999 - 09:50 am:

    ick. No offense RC, but I wouldn't go back to Florida if you paid me. It's waaaaaaay too hot and humid!

    Personally, I'm hurting to get back to California, which will Always be my second most favorite place on Earth.

By Nate on Friday, June 11, 1999 - 10:50 am:

    woo hoo! california!

    no freakin' canucks!

    fuck the french!

By R.C. on Friday, June 11, 1999 - 10:58 am:

    Tis true -- but only from April to Oct. Florida winters are like a little corner of heaven!

    But I believe Cali has the best climate in the U.S. It's so damn big & varied. You can retreat to northern Cali when it's too hot in LA/then return there when the weather cools off. Plus/it's the only place I know of that has mountains/ desert &/beaches all in one locale. I'd like to move there/but I'm scared of earthquakes.

    My beef is/if you hate the cold/why live in Canada/then come bothering us for 6 mos. out of the damn year? Stay up there w/yr wonderful national health ins. & all that snow. And why must they all bring their huge cars w/their "Souviens Quebec" bumper stickers & their terrible driving? Why not fly down & leave their fucking cars in Canada?

    Better yet/why don't they go to Cali for the winter?

By Wisper on Friday, June 11, 1999 - 05:04 pm:

    Ah, if only I could count how many times have I been outside for a smoke at 7 degrees celcius (sorry....can't convert, you do it) wearing a t-shirt with no jacket or sweater and being perfectly fine on a temperature level, only to have one of my peers ambush me with their extra sweater and scream "are you insane?! It's fucking freezing!!!" to which I reply "it's only September you dick...WE LIVE IN CANADA!! you wait till Feb. when it's 45 fucking below zero and the anti-freeze in your car starts to frost, then you tell me it's cold. This is shit."
    Record winter this year. Sent the army in to shovel old people's driveways and everything. Kick-ass.
    I have no idea why my northern peers croud your poor little state, R.C. and I appologize for it, they're crazy. You couldn't pay me to go lower on the hemesphere than this. Pointless too, since it's gaining on 90 degrees here (that's farenhight that time) and I'm about to die. God I love winter. And health care. But I hate beer, and hockey, so perhaps I don't speak for the rest of the contry.
    To keep people from going to florida, they should build some godawfull Disney themepark here, with some godawfull name like 'CanaDisney'.

    You know what I did notice about the states though last time I was there? (I was 10) Bigger parking spaces! Yup. Those yellow lines have got to be at least a foot wider. My father told me at the time that it was because "if they find a dent in their car door, they shoot the guy next to them." or something like that.

By R.C. on Saturday, June 12, 1999 - 12:53 am:

    Canadisney! ROFL!

    Well, Eurodisney tanked. Becuz (Mickey Rourke fetish aside) the French are no fools. Maybe they'd have better look ripping off Canadians in their native land.

By Wisper on Saturday, June 12, 1999 - 01:58 am:

    you know our government sold the marketing rights to the RCMP to Disney a few years ago??!! They were sick of the Mountie image being abused, so they sold it to Mickey, of all people, beliving that Mike Eisner has such a strangle hold on Pooh Bear's t-shirt sales that he might as well keep the precious RCMP image in check too.....bye-bye Dudley DoRight.

    and incidentaly Mike, there's a time/date on my last post so the rights to 'canadisney'(c)(tm) are mine as of right now. You hear me? MINE.
    I'll assume the cheque is in the mail......

By Mala-dicta on Saturday, June 12, 1999 - 02:09 pm:

    Fuck Jerry Lewis too!

By Sheila on Saturday, June 12, 1999 - 03:44 pm:

    i have fucked the french. but the thought of fucking jerry lewis would as they say gag a maggot.

By Margret on Saturday, June 12, 1999 - 04:19 pm:

    Ahh, Quebec, je me souviens indeed.

    Never been there.

    I think Jerry Lewis was kind of cute in the day.

By Markus on Saturday, June 12, 1999 - 06:16 pm:

    And the cheque is never in the mail. In the post, perhaps you meant.

    I'll never understand how a country with a foreign monarch on their money overseen by her Governor General can get all pissy about not being taken seriously as a sovereign country.

    And gad, I've got some cruel streak, picking on poor defenseless Canadians. I'm not proud of it.

    And you're thinking of Gary Lewis, the kid back in third grade who carried your books home that one day.

By Canadian on Sunday, June 13, 1999 - 01:56 am:

    You know what. The bottom line is this. Americans have no idea what the FUCK they're talking about. I can't remember the last time an American was right or even close to the facts about reality. The truth of the matter is this. You couldn't pay me to live in the US. Actually it would cost too damn much to live there. Great health care system y'all (for all you dumb rednecks) have down there. Nice system of justice too. Two words for you all. OJ Simpson!!!! If a man like that can get off, then all you dumb ass fucks have a chance with life. I love the fact that you people can walk around and carry guns like it was a wallet. Case and point, that lovely postal system you have down there. Here's one for you, what does the flag flying at half mast at the postal office mean??? Answer, there's job openings. Chew on that one for awhile guys.

By Gee on Sunday, June 13, 1999 - 05:47 am:

    Nate - no freakin' canuks right Now. Come August, four freakin' canuks all together running around the state wreaking havoc and tipping cows and snapping the bra straps of little old ladies and wotnot.

    RC - if I had millions of dollars, I'd spend my winters in Canada and my summers in California. I love Canadian winters. I'm a big fan of cold, and as long as there's always the option of pulling another blanket over me, I'm in Heaven. What I hate is the hot hot hot summer. California's hot, but at least it's no humid, and as long as I can feel like there's air to breath (even filthy air) I'm good.

    Not everyone in Canada's a crappy driver. You're probably just seeing a lot of yuppies (since us poor folks can't afford to migrate to Florida every year). In Canada yuppies think they own the freaking world. I have to walk through Vaughn and Richmond Hill every single day, and every single day at every single stop light I almost get run over by some freak who doesn't bother to look before they start driving, or thinks "Sure! I can just sneak by this pedestrian!" when they're turning. I've had to jump back to avoid some massive truck or jam packed mini-van with screaming kids more times that I can even Count. I freaking HATE Vaughn! "The City Above Toronto" for God's sake, get a real motto!!

    Wisper - The army. Please. Talk about overkill. I mean, it was a lot of snow (good God was it a lot of snow!) but the army??? I'd hate to think if I ever joined the army I'd end up shoveling snow and not even getting any warm coco for it.

    Canadian - for pete's sake, Relax. You're not fighting a frigging war here.

    ps...is OJ Simpson really two words? Wouldn't it be more like three words, or technically one word and two initials?

By Wisper on Monday, June 14, 1999 - 04:41 pm:

    Hey Canadian, please shut up. It's people like you who make me wish there were no border lines on maps or in people's minds. People are stupid and gun toting everywhere.
    As for O.J. and the postal service....you ever heard of Paul Bernardo? bring back any fond memories of canadian pride now? Our psychos don't even get life sentences here...25 years....fuck. The thought that he'll be able to walk in the sun again before I hit 40, I'd trade in my health card to see him rot. So it's not so damn great here.

    Gee- the army, yeah I know! all that boot camp and training to finally end up shoveling driveways and subway tracks. That was too funny. Be All You Can Be
    Vaughn.....wow....but no match for our Aurora golf course yuppies out on their golf carts. Now that makes for some fun driving indeed.

By Waffleboy on Thursday, June 17, 1999 - 02:22 pm:

    Hey Canadian, you country would be broke if it wasn't for American business spilling over into your country You should be glad Americans are traveling there and spending US $. Have you checked the exchange rate in the last , say, i dunno, 3 years? Your struggling economy would otherwise be facing a depression). Although I don't give rats ass about borders and who is from where, when i read your silly-assed comments, i felt the need to react. Aside from some good hockey players and The Kids in the Hall, what exactly are so patriotic about?

    RC- Cali weather is tops, the earthquake is nothing more to fear no more than the tornados and hurricanes. I grew up in Atlanta and frankly the violent thunderstorms and tornados in the summer are more of a threat than earthquakes. No matter where you go you will always have something to fear. I have felt several earthquakes in the last couple years I have been here. They happen daily but rarely break 3.0 on the scale, go here


    to see the most recent earthquakes. You rarely feel them.
    I miss Atlanta, I love those sultry summer nights with the crickets chirping and distant thunder and the heat lightning.....SoCal rarely gets thunderstorms, it just uneventfully rains. Where I live in LA, I can step out on my balcony and see the mountains and in the winter snowcaps about 30 miles away. I can look in the other direction and see the ocean. And if I want the desert I can drive an hour and be in Death Valley or three hours and be in Vegas. Not to mention the metropolis of LA/Hollywood which is where I live.

    California IS indeed beautiful but I miss the east coast, I wanna live in NYC to pursue my photography.

By Markus on Thursday, June 17, 1999 - 09:05 pm:

    Drop a sarcastic comment and go away for five days, and look what happens. Had no idea I'd started a hot little border war while I was bopping down Beale Street.

By R.C. on Thursday, June 17, 1999 - 11:01 pm:

    Waffles: NYC is the BEST place in the world to photograph people. And architecture. And freaks.

    Gee: I thought yuppies were banned in Canada ...? How can a country that had enuf foresight & compassion for the poor to vote for national healthcare allow yuppies? But admittedly/most of the idiot Canadian drivers in FL are in the 60+ age bracket. So I'm sure 'senior moments' have a lot more to do w/t than affluence. (Begging Sheila's pardon. But she's American.).

    And Canadian: If you had a famous Black person in Canada who went on trial for killing his ex-wife w/no witnesses/the O.J. thing wd happen there too. As long as there was at least one Black person who was pissed-off after a Rodney-King- Simi-Valley-type verdict/on the jury.

    And BTW Canadian: I never got that -- why so many Carribean people move to Canada/yet I've never heard of a single Black Canadian actor or singer or comedian crossing the border & making it big in the States. Like all those White actors & actresses & have done. Martin Short/John Candy (R.I.P)/the ubiquitous (that means he's in-yr-face everywhere) Mike Myers... Seems that their fellow Canadians didin't have the good common sense to appreciate their talents/or they wen't have come here in the 1st place.

    Hey Canadian: Is Canada so desperate for Blackfolks that they once you move there/they make you stay forever? Esp. if you already speak French?

    Look -- I don't own America. I'm not even a shareholder. But if you think most American's are Rednecks/you really need to get a clue. The South & it's various-&-sundry mentalities have very little to do w/what America is abt. Beyond the KKK/the NRA/& the Religious Right.

    So here's what you do, Canadian: From now one/don't buy any more CD's produced or recorded by acts w/record deals w/U.S. based music companies. Cancel yr cable t.v. subscription. And don't buy any more clothing or perfumes or housewares by The Gap/Tommy Hilfiger/Calvin Klein/Donna Karan/Ralph Lauren... Or any drugs or food products developed by American- headquartered companies. Or get on the Internet/which was an American invention. Or use any Windows or Macintosh computer platforms/since Americans invented those too.

    America may suck at Civil Rights. And healthcare. But this country does technology & culture & entertainment better than anyone on the planet. And our national parks/coastal regions/& the State of California/rank among the best places on Earth in terms of the splendors of natural beauty.

    So give all that shit up/then you can tell me how fucking great Canada is. You import a lot more of our shit/& come to gawk at & enjoy a lot more of our shit/than we do of yours. And our currency is coveted all over the world.

    So who's zooming who?

By Waffleboy on Friday, June 18, 1999 - 12:08 pm:

    right on RC!!!!!!

By Wisper on Friday, June 18, 1999 - 12:09 pm:


    that's it R.C., no free CanaDisney pass for you.


By R.C. on Friday, June 18, 1999 - 04:07 pm:

    The weird thing is/I'll bet you if they tried to open a Canadisney in Montreal/the Canadians wd bitch & protest it. Becuz they'd rather spend a fortune coming to FL to get ripped off by Disney...

By Waffleboy on Friday, June 18, 1999 - 06:17 pm:

    oh shit, don't even talk about Quebec, that palce has a whole different set of standards, maybe Toronto

    fuck the french

By Mala-dicta on Saturday, June 19, 1999 - 12:14 pm:

    Fuck Jerry Lewis too!

By Gee on Saturday, June 19, 1999 - 02:08 pm:

    RC -- Ontario has No compassion for the poor. Which I think we proved nicely by re-electing Premier (sp) Harris.

    Are we done dissing my country now?

By R.C. on Saturday, June 19, 1999 - 03:55 pm:

    I wasn't dissing Canada. Just that 1 Canadian who thinks all Americans are rednecks.

By Rheum on Saturday, June 19, 1999 - 07:07 pm:

    Please define "redneck".

By J on Saturday, June 19, 1999 - 11:20 pm:

    Ask Jeff Foxworthy

By R.C. on Sunday, June 20, 1999 - 01:41 am:


    Historically/the term refers to poor Southerners who used to earn their living farming.They spent all day outdoors & got 'red necks' from sunburn.

    The contemporary term refers to Southerners w/particularly racist/homophobic/mysoginistic or zenophobic viewpoints. Guys who drive around in pick-up trucks w/a gun rack in the back & a Confederate flag bandana on their heads. Guys you see buying beer at the gas station at 6:00 a.m. With no shoes on & their pants hanging down to the crack of their asses. Guys who fuck their cousins & sleep w/their dogs. Guys who get drunk & shoot each other in the head 'to see what it feels like'. (True story. It's posted here somewhere/I think)

    Rednecks are the Southern variety of White trash/if you will.

By R.C. on Sunday, June 20, 1999 - 02:02 am:

    Here -- I'll let Foxworthy describe it in his own words.

    "You Might Be A Redneck If...

    -- More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
    -- You think the stock market has a fence around it.
    -- Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
    -- Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
    -- You've ever used lard in bed.
    -- Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
    -- You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
    -- Your home has more miles on it than your car. -- You've ever been arrested for loitering.
    -- You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre.
    -- There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
    -- You own a homemade fur coat.
    -- Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. -- Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
    -- You burn your front yard rather than mow it.
    -- Fewer than half of your cars run.
    -- You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
    -- You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap. -- Your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it.
    -- Your momma doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.
    -- You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a huntin' dog.
    -- The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
    -- Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"
    -- Your family tree does not fork.
    -- There is a gun rack on your bicycle.
    -- Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.
    -- Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."
    -- Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.
    -- You've ever financed a tattoo.
    -- Your brother-in-law is your uncle.

    Material stolen from:
    (It even plays the theme feom "Deliverance")

By J on Monday, June 21, 1999 - 12:10 pm:

    That was too good!!!But I,m a redneck,you don,t get the choice to pick your family,but you can ditch them.

By Waffleboy on Monday, June 21, 1999 - 12:53 pm:

    Jeff Foxworthy....YAWNNN!!!!!!

    When I moved out to Cali from the deep south, i got turned on to a new breed of white trash, DESERT TRASH, try driving from Atlanta all the waty to cali, and from Albuqurque on its feaks, trailers, dusty trucks, tumbleweed, UFOS and fat slack jawed women carrying their youngins like a sack of potatos.

    Also, I recommend a video someone once made a tape in the parking lot of Judas Priest/Dokken concert in the mid 80s in Maryland. All you see are mullets, cheap beer, underaged girls and bitchin cameros....the north has their own breed of rednecks as well, The video is made by an obviously sarcastic and cynical person its called HEAVY METAL PARKING LOT, i doubt your average blockbuster would have it but rather your more off beat video store would have it, forget the new Wesley Snipes bomb, check this one out for good laughs

By Jane on Friday, August 20, 1999 - 11:34 pm:

    Ninety percent of these arguments are ridiculous. Americans: you are foaming at the mouth. Restraint has as much an edge as the ego-ranting and raving, by the way. You sound like Gerry Springer talk show guests. Oh well, the debate's amused me for 20 minutes of reading.

    Obviously I'm Canadian.

By Gee on Saturday, August 21, 1999 - 03:38 am:


    Don't be so uppity. Utah loves us.

By Jane on Saturday, August 21, 1999 - 12:11 pm:

    I'd like to erase my earlier message re americans foaming at the mouth and what-not. I must have been foaming at the mouth to write that.

    People just pay too much attention to geographical boundaries.

    I'm going to find a discussion that has nothing to do patriotism.

By J on Saturday, August 21, 1999 - 12:46 pm:

    Your the one with a bug up your ass about it,Canada,America,Mexico=North America.Have you had troble pooping lately?

By Gee on Saturday, August 21, 1999 - 07:31 pm:

    Does that mean we can all pick on Europe now?

By J on Saturday, August 21, 1999 - 09:51 pm:

    No Gee, only those French fuckers.

By WafflesUSA on Sunday, August 22, 1999 - 12:50 pm:

    no Jane, we are just better than you.......that's all.....

By Simon on Sunday, August 22, 1999 - 02:30 pm:

    To all you U.S.-bashing Canadians out there, I have only three words to say:

    We got Gretzky.

By Gee on Sunday, August 22, 1999 - 05:15 pm:

    You can keep him.

    Not all Canadians love hockey.

    As long as Callum Keith Rennie stays put, I'm happy.

By Waffles on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 11:08 am:

    what up with that team.....the Maple Leafs....? How threatening of a mascott is a Maple Leaf...or better yet.....a Canuck????????? What up wit that??? Stars rule!

By Waffles on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 11:08 am:

    oh yeah and Patrick Roy is gay

By Jinafishes on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 11:52 am:

    God, I don't check the messages for the weekend and what happens? WW3. Canada is a nice place, my fiance` is from Canada, living in Washington now tho for the sake of his own good. ;) Tottally loves Kids in the Hall. Where he lives, is really really fucking cold. Alberta. And 7 celcius is nothing, that's only 40 degrees or something, but I know what you're saying, that's just Fall or whenever, yeah I've felt the cold. -10 out, your eyes are watering up, the moisture in your nose freezes, icicles form on your eyelashes, really goddamn cold. I love those Inuit boots tho.
    I've only been to Vancouver, Edmonton and around those areas, and if you're a pot extremist, Vancouver is the place for you. I went to Edgefest, and everyone and their grandma were toking it up, cops were around, treated it like nothing was new, and I had to take a drug test the next morning. Tottally have nothing against pot, in fact it's great, but when the cops where you live have nothing better to do then bust kids for having a good time, then this is definately a sight to see. Could not get a fucking breath of fresh air in that place. And Edmonton is cool, clubs all over the place, the West Ed mall is great, but instead of pot, it's alcohol, everyone and their grandma. Mostly because the drinking age is 18 I spose. Nearby to Edmonton in the town of Red Deer, there are 17 liquor stores, if not more. 17! What the hell you need with 17 liquor stores? It's not even a big town! I don't even want to KNOW how many are in Edmonton, that place is huge.

    As for Mr. Canadian, you just need to simmer down for God's sake, go stand in the corner, or something. The British have a real dry humor, I don't see why you can't take the Americans as well. What's the difference between America and yogurt? Yogurt has more culture. Haha, isn't that cute.

    Chris Rock is Canadian. And "took" is toque.

By Waffles on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 12:13 pm:

    I am pretty damned sure Chris is from Brooklyn.....I wanna recall a interview i read in TIme Out recently.....

By Waffles on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 12:16 pm:

By J on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 12:25 pm:

    Your funny Waffles,I can,t go to Vegas and believe me,I tried.He has a crew coming here to do some stucco work,they are going to make our fence higher,he,s wanting to sell our house.

By Jinafishes on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 12:33 pm:

    I dunno, maybe he just MOVED to Brooklyn afterwards, I would really check, cause that's what my fiance` told me.

By Waffles on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 12:40 pm:

    i am so so so sorry to hear that J......Glitter Gulch her i come

By Big Canadian not proud canadian on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 12:47 pm:

    Well, I agree that Chris is damn funny, but don't go putting Canadians out to fast, remember John Candy? how bout The Kids in the Hall, Rick Moranis, Dave Thomas, Howie Mandel? Should I keep going? Yes I know there are Americans that are as funny or better, I'm just saying don't count out Canada to quickly, or I'll blow up Quebec and put New York in the dark, Just like I did in the 70's

By Stoned on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 12:49 pm:

    Everyone raves about BC pot, try some from Winnipeg. puts most of BC to shame.

By J on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 12:50 pm:

    Can you hook me up?

By Waffles on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 01:03 pm:

    ok...i'll give ya Kids in the Hall....they crack me up......but any of those other folks you mentioned...........NOT FUNNY

By J on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 02:16 pm:

    Gee,s from Canada,she,s funny.I hope she,s at Denny,s,eating something greasy.

By Simon on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 03:01 pm:

    We still got Gretzky.

    Everything else is just sour grapes.

By Waffles on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 03:30 pm:

    actually the fuck retired.....say bye bye Rangers

By Jinafishes on Monday, August 23, 1999 - 06:50 pm:

    Just for the books, I'm NOT Canadian.

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 12:40 pm:

    I am CANADIAN.....and proud of it.

    But why do I have to go to the States to get Canadian bacon? :-)

    You can have Gretzky ...we've got Sundin....opps ...he's a Swede.

By Waffles on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 12:50 pm:

    thats right.....and Patrick Roy is STILL gay....I guess you have Claude Lemiuex....but then again, he plays for Denver.........I guess with the exchange rate, we took all 3 of Canada's finest.......for cheap........YOU LOVE US.....just make it easier and fess up.....Canada's has been sucking and Mrs. America's tit for too long.....hell they should just put an extra star on our flag and rename your country all together...

By Jinafishes on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 01:13 pm:

    Why would we want Gretzky? He's all done for. I have to agree with Waffles too. Everything up there is either crap or American without any polution, except your liquor stores and low age drinking are pretty cool, but Molson ice is shit, whoever thought that brew up needs shot.

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 01:17 pm:

    Not going to argue with you .....saves time travelling if you don't have to stop for Customs and Immigration.

    Nothing worse than being asked by east Indian customs officer...."and why do you want to come to our country?"

    Didn't go to PA last weekend to suck Mrs. Americas tit.........but she was American and single. :-)

    3 of Canada's finest?.....so far you have only included Gretzky.

    Rename the country..............hell no....the state of Canada works.

By Waffles on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 01:27 pm:

    Lemiuex, Roy, Belfour.......note Lemiuex and Roy are on the same team........( I have heard they are lovers but I can't confirm)

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 01:44 pm:

    Lemieux is a buffoon....cement head....you can have him.

    Roy..not a bad goaltender....could be gay (no evidence)......but aging

    Belfour .....give me a break ....not worth wasting our time talking about.

    You are still stuck on 1....Gretzky.

    I've got a few suggestions if you wish.

By Simon on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 02:38 pm:

    sour grapes

By Wisper on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 02:45 pm:

    damnit, and here I thought this thread was long dead.
    wishful thinking, I guess.

    Tom Green y'all
    Tom fucking Green

    that's all I wanted to say.

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 04:26 pm:

    Shania Twain
    Celine Dion
    Peter Jennings
    Doug Flutie (hehe.....sortof)

By Waffles on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 05:14 pm:

    is that a Boast of Candaian talent????........oi vey!!!

By Nate on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 05:55 pm:

    aboot! aboot! aboot! aboot! aboot!

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 06:57 pm:


    Alex Trebek
    David James Elliott of J.A.G.
    Michael J Fox
    Jenny Jones
    Tom Petty
    Bare Naked Ladies

    Yes Waffles....pretty weak.

    btw....this is my favourite site on net but this is first time I posted a message. Have just been a reader.

    Cyst rules!!!!!!!!

By Jinafishes on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 07:02 pm:

    And what do they all have in common? They all suck! That's right, they SUCK! Take that Jenny Jones whore away!

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 07:10 pm:

    But she is a Canadian....another thing that all have in common......sucky Canadians.

    Only real Canadians are HOCKEY PLAYERS!!!!

By Waffles on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 07:26 pm:

    all I gotts to say is Alex Trebek better watch his fuckinm back.......that smart assed mutha been a prick too long on Jeopardy........some body needs to get him in check.......and I think these new leather steel toes i gots will do just fine

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 07:33 pm:


    Apparently touched a couple of nerves with Ms. Jenny and talking head Alex.

    Rip them apart people.....they are only Canadian now to be cute in interviews.

    Cyst rules!!!

By Waffles on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 07:37 pm:

    hey cyst...check it.....you gotta an admirer other than me........cyst and maples sittin in a tre....ah fuck it

By Friendly on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 08:33 pm:

    forget all those other "celebrities", nomeansno and the hanson brothers are from canada. doa is from canada. pigment vehicle is from canada. canada kicks ass, i'd move there in a minute.

By Friendly on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 08:40 pm:

    oh, and Red Green too. can't forget Red Green. you think you can but you can't.

By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 09:00 am:

    Cyst has more than an admirer here.....thinking the word may be 'worshiper'.

    Cyst is a living textbook example of womanhood.

    "May I drink your bathwater?"

By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 09:24 am:

    Adding one more to the mix

    Neil Young !!!!!!!!

By J on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 09:35 am:

    What do you mean by that?Is Niel Young Canadian?

By Jinafishes on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 12:19 pm:

    Look I know we're here on the Springer show, and I came here to tell you something important, cause I know it's going to hurt your feelings, but I love you baby... okay, here goes... Neil Young's Canadian.

By J on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 12:39 pm:

    Well I like Neil Young,but I thought he lives in California.

By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 01:17 pm:

    He probably does live in California ...if you spent many winters in his native Toronto you would be looking for passage to LA as well .....just like that Gretzky guy.

    Interestingly enough, according to local newspapers both Neil and Gretzky are in town this week.......no...not for the same thing. :-)

By Simon on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 02:43 pm:

    Tom Petty, my ass.

    He's from Gainesville, Florida.

By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 05:39 pm:

    Very good Simon...you win a Canadian gallon of Pure Maple syrup No. 1.
    Since you knew Tom is from Gainesville....you win a second gallon.

    hehe....we'll get rid of this shit somehow.

    Amazed this piece of misinformation sat out there unchallenged for almost 20 hours.

    Replacing 'Tom Petty' with 'Bryan Adams',


By H on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 06:09 pm:

    Can we please find out where Kenny G is from and berate that place for a while?

By Waffles on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 06:25 pm:

    probably canada

By Swine on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 06:35 pm:

    kenny g-spot?

    that wack-assed, no-soul-havin', aint-got-no-groove-in-the-pocket, triflin', spastic motherfucker is from seattle.

    maceo parker blows more soul when he farts than kenny g will ever blow in his life.

    damn sad excuse for a sax player.

    lock and load, baby.

    lock and load.

By Swine on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 06:41 pm:

    and by the way...

    seattle is pretty damn close to canada.

By Waffles on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 06:42 pm:


By H on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 06:48 pm:

    Maceo is the king of the funky sax. I had the pleasure of seeing him live in K.C. in 1987. He did a 30 minute set prior being joined onstage by the full James Brown band (post-Flames, JB's; I don't think they had a name but of course they still had Little Danny Raye) and the Godfather himself.

    And Waffles, did you ever find the Fred Wesley albums you were looking for? I know there was a brief series of records back in the early 70's that ran under the title "James Brown's Funky People" which featured Maceo, Fred and other instrumentalists from the band. Don't know about Bootsy, though.

By Waffles on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 07:08 pm:

    nah, but i haven't looked since i made that post.....been kinda slack.........ever give Miles' On the Corner record a listen,,,,NOW thats some funky shit horn playin

By Jinafishes on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 07:23 pm:

    What is up with dish, why is this the only thread being posted on? I'd much rather talk about kinky shit than 1001 things to do with maple syrup. And maybe Kenny G is from Seattle, but he sure as hell isn't there now.

By Margret on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 07:28 pm:


    Honey, you must be really young.

    This IS kinky shit.

By Simon on Wednesday, August 25, 1999 - 10:06 pm:

    What's the difference between a Canadian and a canoe?

    A canoe tips.

By MapleLeaf on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 08:44 am:


    Simon the WaiterBoy........one very important thing people in the United States services industry (as well as some in Canada)have forgotten over the years is that TIPS actually stands for something:

    To Insure Prompt Service

    If that service is not provided....then no tip. It is not automatic.

    Bottom line....serving Canadians.....earn it.

By Jinafishes on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 01:05 pm:

    You are one whacked out weirdo.

By MapleLeaf on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 01:18 pm:

    Must be the good Canadian beer.

    After reading the posts you have made in the past 30 minutes................what is your excuse?

    pube in a hamburger...............eeeewwwwwww!!! good one!!!!!!!!!!!

By Jinafishes on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 01:31 pm:

    Hehe my excuse? I am SO normal.

By MapleLeaf on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 02:01 pm:

    Whoa...........if you are normal.......the mind wanders.............What the hell are we mortals?

By J on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 02:07 pm:

    I kinda like being abnormal,makes you kinda uni-que.

By Waffles on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 02:13 pm:

    ima wookie

By Jinafishes on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 02:15 pm:

    I have a second clit.

By Waffles on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 02:21 pm:

    you gotta picture of that?

By Wisper on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 04:18 pm:

    make it stop, god, make it stop!

By Jinafishes on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 06:33 pm:

    Iii don't think I could scan my clit, would be really difficult and messy and I've never give in to the porno biz. But believe me, it's there alright.

By Waffles on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 06:36 pm:

    well a camera can help you avoid the "mess"....well...naturally I can't just accept a "believe me it's there alright".



By Nate on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 08:43 pm:

    waffles and i will enter into a legal binding contract. you will fly into california where i will snap a polaroid of your bi-clitness. i will mail the polariod to waffles who will destroy it. the contract shall prohibit each of us from showing the picture to any other living soul. failure to abide by this shall result in us compensating you with some inordinate amount of money.

    i, of course, will pay for your flight and pay you $1000.00 for your time.

By MapleLeaf on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 10:25 pm:

    Hey!!!! I want in on this.....maybe she doesn't have to fly to CA....she could stay in the East and I could be your agent ....and then you would have to take my word for it.... and we all know how men stick together.

    Any thoughts?

By Rhiannon on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 11:08 pm:

    Yes. I don't buy the bi-clitness. Whereas I do believe it is possible to have more than 2 nipples (due to the fact that at a very early stage in embryonic development, we have about 6 nipples, or something, and I SWEAR this is true...check out http://www.straightdope.com for details),

    and as it is true that we all begin life as females, and then what remains the clitoris in females develops into the male penis,

    ...but have you ever heard of any male that had two...errr...peni? No, not unless he was a genetic mutant whose mother lived at ground zero in Chernobyl or some similar place...

    ergo, it's probably just another sensitive fold of vaginal tissue, rather than an honest-to-God second clitoris.

    But that's just my theory. We'd need that polaroid to know for sure. ;)

By Waffles on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 10:55 am:

    uh negative Maple Leaf. I don't think you understand the seriousness of our situation. Our contract does not call for third party intrusions and furthermore....Who are you? Can we trust you? Have we a credit application from your corporation? Do we know you are licensed and bonded? Too many details prevent the joining of our mutual interests. Nate.....my staff and I eagerly await your Fed Ex. Please bill my account for half of the 1k.

    It's a matter of time Miss TwoClit...just a matter of time

By Jinafishes on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 11:09 am:

    You people are starting to really scare me.

By J on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 11:18 am:

    Waffles made me spew coffee all over my sheets,that was good.

By Nate on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 12:43 pm:

    two clits is easily believable. often times people are born with six fingers or three legs, why not two clits? the second clit could be all that's left of her twin sister! (the sister who she visciously consume inutero! should we trust this murderous woman?)

    is $1K not going to cut it? i'll talk to the board and see if we can up our offer.

By MapleLeaf on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 01:58 pm:

    Thought I could get in without filling in all of those darned forms. Thinking maybe my unlimited Gold American Express card will do no good with this group.

    Jinofishes ....these people are scaring you? They just rejected me and I'm feeling relieved.

    By the way.....do you need an agent?

By J on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 03:07 pm:

    Mapleleaf have you posted on this board with another name?

By MapleLeaf on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 03:27 pm:

    Nope.....this is only name I have ever used...have read messages for a long time but finally posted something.

By Cyst on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 04:15 pm:

    mapleleaf - are you talking about the photos or the messages? just wondering. no one here has told me I have nice tits, so I don't think I've had the opportunity to point out that my friend upped the contrast on the b&w photo in order to make it even more pornographic than I had intended it to be.

    if you happen to be rich and want to marry me, please send me a photo, resume, recent tax statement, list of major assets, etc., within the next two weeks. I'm thinking about getting a husband instead of a job when I go home next month. put me on your insurance and let me travel, and I'll let you fuck the maids. seriously.

By Cyst on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 04:23 pm:

    I used to want to be on jeopardy real bad. but then my friend kate went on the show and won 10,000 bucks and a trip to spain. and she got some questions that I wouldn't have (she knows about the borgias).

    kate says that alex trebek told the contestants and the audience that he smokes pot to relieve his back pain. and johnny what's-his-name, the guy who talks about the prizes, told alex to tell the audience that he was just kidding. but then alex said, "but no. I DO."

    I have always had a crush on alex trebek. he's so cool.

    he's ukrainian canadian.

By J on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 04:32 pm:

    Oh Cyst me too,but that new show with Regis you can make so much more $$$,even Wheel of Fortune you can make more $$$,not that I have those thoughts of committing unatural acts with Pat or Regis,bluuh,but Alex,well I have those toughts about him.I bet he,s a party in bed.

By MapleLeaf on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 04:37 pm:

    OMG!!! OMG !!!!! OMG !! OMg!!!!!!! Omg !!!!!!

    I meant both the messages and the photos ...particularly the earlier photos..........you have an air about you...high cheek bones...lovely shoulders....slim arms......long fingers ....sensuous look.........you do it for me!!!!!

    Marriage!?!?....but we hardly know one another :), I just want to drink your bath water.

    btw.....what do the maids look like?

By Cyst on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 04:51 pm:

    you would hire them, of course, dear. I think petite but buxom french ones would go well with our new-but-antique oriental rugs.

By MapleLeaf on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 05:05 pm:

    hehe.....one of those messages that gets your attention..... 'petite but buxom' and 'new-but-antique'.........and I am so confused. Oriental rugs from the middle East?

    And you DO have nice tits.

By Waffles on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 05:12 pm:

    alright already....get a room you two!!!!!.....it's been a week since i got some and I don't need to sit here and read you two doing the materialistic dance of love and all this talk about nice tits and such has me.......ah fuck it!

By MapleLeaf on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 05:37 pm:

    s mgisu,jsuw iwuqna rich akisim ajdudu jwkk hung. Posmsw nwwr isushw uwnm sndj insurance..wisn a heartbeat. S kwisms plqwysns ....musjs sjsushd ...mmmmm.*hack* *sputter*....there .. that's better ....I was tongue tied in your presence.

    Waffles.....find a room for yoursefl.

By Jinafishes on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 05:45 pm:

    Oh that was so cute. Now put on a leash and maybe Cyst will take you for a walk.

By MapleLeaf on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 05:50 pm:

    Please....17 1/2 " neck :)

By Simon on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 07:46 pm:

    Some people are just waaay too easy to bait...

By Lawanda on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 10:48 pm:

    Cyst, I went to your site, and I think you are lovely. Didn't see the dress pictures you were talking about, just the tank/panties ones.

By Cyst on Saturday, August 28, 1999 - 03:41 am:

    you are very nice, lawanda.

    maybe you need to refresh that france page? the dress photos should be at the end of the same page with the ones you mentioned.

    the thing is, the guy who did the page made the middle set of photos way too big, and when I tried to look, the connection timed out before the last set was loaded.


    how is the name of the new canadian province spelled? I know it sounds like "none of it." how come they didn't just name it "bob"? I heard that was the people's choice.

By Big Kevin on Saturday, August 28, 1999 - 01:53 pm:

    Its called Nunavut (i'm pretty sure thats right). To find out more about BOB Canada, go here http://www.bobdotcom.com/
    Cyst, would you be so kind as to put a link to your site in this thread?

By Semillama on Saturday, August 28, 1999 - 03:30 pm:

    I need to spout off about both Canada and having extra genitals.

    I'm going to Quebec in a couple months for a conference. Expect a report.

    Tom Green: What's cool is to compare his early chows (shot in Canada) and the ones shot here. One major difference is that no one in Canada threatens to beat up Tom, whereas it seems like every other person he encounters here in America threatens him with Physical violence.

    Two words: Strange Brew, the greatest movie of all time. The first movie I ever saw that had me laughing so hard I ran out of air and started coughing.

    two penii: I once did a search for a band i like called Subincision. i didn't find much on the band, but one page ... oh my god. Some dumb fuck has actually split his dick down the middle (i cringe at the memory)! Fuck! I'm pretty good at understanding other points of view, but i cannot even begin to comprehend the chain of thought that led up to that.

By Cyst on Saturday, August 28, 1999 - 04:12 pm:

By J on Saturday, August 28, 1999 - 04:21 pm:

    I saw that split penis page ahem I got it off a joke e-mail,wasn,t Mr.lifto and a bunch of freaks on that whole page,I don,t even have a penis and it hurt me to see it.

By Cyst on Saturday, August 28, 1999 - 04:31 pm:

    I have shared hummus with mr. lifto. they're from seattle. I think one of them is related to kenny g.

By J on Saturday, August 28, 1999 - 06:47 pm:

    Jim Rose has family here,he usually comes out in the winter,the second time I saw him was after a Greenday concert,the sideshow was opening act.He was walking around the collosium like he was really something.He tried to pick-up me,heather or Amee and God knows who else.We laughed at him,and made fun of him all the way home.If you ever see Mr.Lifto again,tell him J says Jim Rose is an asshole,but he,s really GOOD at swearing.

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 01:38 pm:

    Semillama...you did not mention which city in Quebec....Montreal or Quebec?....geez... surely, it isn't Chicoutimi.

    If Montreal, visit Crescent Street
    If Quebec City, visit Grande Allee

    French Canadian night life at its finest.... guaranteed a good time..........be careful of the Brador.

    Cyst...........have a safe trip home. :). btw, I enjoyed your pictures again.

By H on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 01:42 pm:

    Chicoutimi! I knew a guy who used to play for the Saguineens! Never thought that would ever come up in a discussion.

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 02:01 pm:

    How about Rimouski ? or St. Louis de HaHaHa?

    or even 'coeurs de bois' ?

By H on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 02:24 pm:

    All I know of Rimouski is that their QMJHL (LMJHQ?)team is the Oceanic. And from the looks of things, they might have a good chance of going a full 60 with Les Bleus de St. Louis this year. I saw Grant Fuhr at a local department store earlier in the summer and he could hardly walk. It was not pretty.

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, August 31, 1999 - 04:42 pm:

    Les Bleus and l'Oceanic are in two different leagues......junior versus professional.. they will probably never meet ....probably....hell....never.

    Aging hockey players all walk the same ...like little old crippled men... but put the skates on and we can skate like the wind.... it's something like sex....you never forget how.

By H on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 08:14 am:

    Yes, I am well aware of the current stratification of organized hockey. I was simply editorializing on the sorry state of my hometown NHL franchise.

    Actually, considering there are more professional hockey teams in Texas (NHL and AA/AAA level minor league teams) than in all of Canada, I'd say the whole sport is a bit fucked-up right now.

By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 09:28 am:

    The sport is no longer a sport...it is big business...........chasing the almighty dollar ...and if the dollar is the "Eagle Buck" ... full speed ahead.

    At the grass roots level, the game still belongs to the people....the majority of which remains Canadian.

    And you are right...the Blues are in bad shape.

By H on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 12:21 pm:

    One of these days I'm gonna get up to Canada and do nothing for a week or two but watch OHL, WHL and QMJHL games. It will be a great way to see the whole country and see the game the way it should be played.

By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 12:38 pm:

    An excellent idea....base yourself in Toronto ...every night there will be an OHL hockey game within 4 hours drive....and all on good roads.

    Be sure to pack long underwear....some of those rinks can get pretty cold.

    If you need a guide.....let me know.

By Waffles on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 01:07 pm:

    yes but it's the american dollars, american ego and the american fan base that has made hockey what it is today.......go Stars

By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 01:55 pm:

    Give me a break!!!
    You are blinded by your American dollars and mostly by your American ego. Step back and look at the big picture.

    There is a larger hockey fan base within 4 hours driving radius of Toronto than there is in the whole United States of America.

    The 6 year old girl starting to play hockey in Kitchener, Ontario knows nothing about American dollars ....all she knows is she starting to play a game which is a large part of the Canadian culture.

By Jinafishes on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 02:21 pm:

    "You said you didn't gave a fuck about hockey and I never heard anyone say that before." The hip

By Waffles on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 02:28 pm:

    of course it's my ego Maple...I am arrogant, loud and obnoxious....I AM AMERICAN HEAR ME ROAR......Go Phoenix!

By H on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 02:43 pm:

    One thing Canada still has going for it is the great names they give to their junior teams:

    Kingston Frontenacs
    Drummondville Voltigeurs
    Rimouski Oceanic
    Owen Sound Platers
    Halifax Mooseheads (I liked Citadels for their demised AHL affiliate, too)

    Beats the living hell out of the Minnesota Wild.

    By the way, MapleLeaf, what is a Forreur?

By Semillama on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 07:30 pm:

    Brador! for a brief period, the beer of choice for me and my friends when we were underage and could find it, for the whallop of course.

By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, September 1, 1999 - 11:50 pm:

    H...you have done some research. You said earlier you though you would never see Chicoutimi on here...well I never thought I would ever see Owen Sound on here... and now look what has happened.

    Forreur......I believe it is something to do with deep sea oil well drilling .....possibly the driller, the rigger or maybe even the actual drill bit itself. Where did you see this word? In what context?

    BRADOR, the brown pop of champions!!!

    Waffles....you are entitled to your 'American way' as long as I can have my way.....agreed? If you agree,,,,then that will be 2 thjings we agree on.

By Waffles on Thursday, September 2, 1999 - 01:11 am:


    that wouldn't be very american (un-capitalized by author).......

    surely my humor is is not taken literally.......i don't really accept the american way as much as I have led you to believe mr.leaf.....i think canada is a fine country with some great hockey players...........it's god damned cold there. nonetheless......i was hoping for some good international criticism......the news is boring these days........

By H on Thursday, September 2, 1999 - 08:10 am:

    Sem, (may I call you Sem?) I have been subscribing to The Hockey News for far too long, so I have become familiar with the interesting names given to some of Canada's major-junior teams. Forreurs is the nickname of the Val d'Or team. Basically what you're telling me is that it's the equivalent of "Oilers." Thank you for clarifying that.

    I wouldn't classify my knowledge of the cities and teams as a product of "research," but I would chalk it up instead to a combination of my Hockey News subscription and a high-fiber diet, if you catch my drift.

By MapleLeaf on Thursday, September 2, 1999 - 09:06 am:

    H.....it's MapleLeaf...........not Sem!!!
    You are most welcome on the Forreurs/Oilers thing. This will be a result of the insane law in Quebec that everything must be in French and not in English. An example is the Sherbrooke Beavers had to become Les Castors de Sherbrooke.

    Waffles .....not all parts of Canada are cold ...unless you call anything less than 50 degrees cold ....winter temperatures in southern Ontario are bearable.....maybe only a couple of days each winter where it goes below zero :)

By H on Thursday, September 2, 1999 - 12:05 pm:

    Sorry about that, Mapleleaf. I missed the break between his post and yours. I was trying to get ready for a deposition at the time, so I wasn't exactly as attentive as I should have been.

    And I didn't realize the Sherbrooke team changed from Faucons to Les Castors. I like the latter better anyway.

By MapleLeaf on Thursday, September 2, 1999 - 12:17 pm:

    It may be the opposite.....they might have changed from Les Castors to Faucons.....I was going from memory from when I lived in the Ottawa Valley and had a buddy who played for Les Castors....he went to the quebec league and I went to the Ontario league....same result.....very short careers :)

By Jinafishes on Thursday, September 2, 1999 - 07:29 pm:

    If you really want to impress your friends, just repeat this: Soy canadiense(cau-nau-dee-en-sey) y(ee) mi pelo(peylo) tener fugar, ayudar(aye-you-dar) ayudar. I am Canadian, and my hair is on fire, help help.

By Jinafishes on Thursday, September 2, 1999 - 07:30 pm:

    er Tene not tener

By Gee on Friday, September 3, 1999 - 04:33 am:

    I honestly hope that when Sem takes his trip to Quebec and fills us all is, we can refrain from making sport of the place I've lived my entire life in. Making fun of Canada in moderation is entertaining to me, but in excess, I begin to get upset and may say things I wish I hadn't.

    Jokes or no jokes. You can only make fun of someone's home for so long before they start to take offense. I'm about near my limit.


    I said "aboot" the entire time I was in California, and the only people who got it where other Canadians. hosers.

By Semillama on Friday, September 3, 1999 - 12:57 pm:

    Fret not, my report will be objective.

    Actually, i've heard a lot of good things about Quebec (city) and i am looking forward to going.

    My mom was just in Toronto and she loved it.

    Can you keep a secret? I like Canada.

    Of course, I'm from the U.P. of Michigan and have been mistaken for a Canadian a few times.

By J on Friday, September 3, 1999 - 01:12 pm:

    I like Canada too,I,d sure like to get my ass in one of those pot shops they have in Vancouver!

By MapleLeaf on Friday, September 3, 1999 - 01:32 pm:

    I am busy making 'screen prints' for Tourism Canada ....they will be most pleased.

    Glad your Mom enjoyed our fair city.

    And J...I would like to get your ass....nevermind.

By Waffles on Friday, September 3, 1999 - 01:38 pm:

    it's better that way Mr. Leaf

By J on Friday, September 3, 1999 - 02:30 pm:

    Maybe,maybe not.

By Spider on Friday, September 10, 1999 - 05:33 pm:

    "1992 -- In June, town councilors in Hearst, Ontario, ended the long-time tradition of requiring prospective bridegrooms to be locked in cages in the center of town, on public display. The tradition usually goes no further than allowing the townspeople to throw eggs and tomatoes at the men for a price in part to help the couple get started financially but a few years ago, in an extreme case, one man was given an enema with a grease gun. Local clergy advised the councilors that some men so fear the prospect that they decline marriage altogether."

    --courtesy of the Washington City Paper

By Jinafishes on Friday, September 10, 1999 - 05:49 pm:


By Bitches in red and white on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 - 03:48 pm:

    What's up with all you fucked up Americans. All you guys know how to do is stick guns up each others' asses. I mean can't you guys find anything better to do. As for all you black niggers in America, follow the lead of Michael Jackson and get plastic surgery.

By Xena-phobic on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 - 04:46 pm:

    Yes that's right that's exactly what we're like. You are so smart. Wow I wish you would come here so I could kiss you on the mouth and give you everything I own.

    Well no time to write, gotta go stick a gun up an ass!

By Gee on Thursday, December 30, 1999 - 02:43 am:


    That person is not Canadian. I'm almost posative.

By J on Thursday, December 30, 1999 - 12:11 pm:

    Sorry Gee,that wasn,t posted by a person,it was just an asshole,wish I could find a gun to shove up it.

By blackjack on Thursday, December 30, 1999 - 01:19 pm:

    they've got assholes in canada, too.

By semillama on Sunday, January 2, 2000 - 10:11 pm:

    Hey pink boy, I am coming to Canada this week! Lube your poop chute, buddy! You know, we're keeping track of all the assholes in Canada, for the invasion. You all are the first up againts the wall. Then we're going to let Gee run the whole show.

By Gee on Sunday, January 2, 2000 - 11:23 pm:


By semillama on Thursday, February 17, 2000 - 06:56 pm:


    1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.

    2. You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk"

    3, You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine"

    4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.

    5. You drink pop, not soda.

    6. This doesn't bother you at all.

    7. You know what it means to be on pogey.

    8. You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at the camp, eh!!"

    9. You can drink legally while still a 'teen.

    10. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.

    11. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba, it's a cheap place to travel
    with good cigars and no Americans.

    12. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.

    13. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.

    14. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

    15. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.

    16. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.

    17. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

    18. You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".

    19. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that"

    20. You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.

    21. You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.

    22. You are excited whenever an American television mentions Canada.

    23. You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo"

    24. You were mad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.

    25. You know what a tuque is.

    26. You admit Rich Little is Canadian and you're glad Jerry Lewis is not.

    27. You know Toronto is not a province.

    28. You never miss "Coach's Corner".

    29. You know all the words to "If I Had a Million Dollars"

    30. You know who Ernie Coombs is.

    31. You remember when Alanis Morisette was "Too Hot To Hold".

    32. You have memorised the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments, including your favourites, "I smell burnt toast, Doctor", "You all know I canna read a word..." and "Kanata".

    33. You spend sleepless nights wondering if Peter Mansbridge and Wendy Mesley will ever find again the blissful love they once knew.

    34. You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet, because you can really use more change (You are already wearing your pants halfway down your ass and the hair and three layers of skin is worn off the front of your thighs from carrying your pocket money a around. The new coin should have a picture of a musk-ox on it and be the size of a hamburger pattie and have fifteen different kinds of metals in it, including poutine.

    35. You know Ashley MacIssac isn't Celtic enough.

    36. Your backpack has only one Canadian flag sew-on.

    37. You have been on Speaker's Corner.

    38. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.

    39. You remember "Jodie" from "Today's Special" and wonder why she reads news on CBC.

    40. You wonder idly if there is some government cover-up of a covert operation behind shifting the shooting location of "X-Files" from British Columbia to California.

    41. You know that a "Premier" isn't a baby born a few weeks early.

    42. You design your Hallowe'en costume to fit over a snowsuit.

    43. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one metre above the ground.

    44. The local paper covers national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

    45. You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.

    46. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

    47. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada".

    48. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian friends.

By MapleLeaf on Thursday, February 17, 2000 - 08:21 pm:

    Damn...these are right on .... and I understand every one of them,.....I even know who Ernie Coombs is ( I think he is a curler)....but I keep my Canadian Tire money on my dresser.... no way is the s/o going to get her hands on it :0)

By _____ on Thursday, February 17, 2000 - 09:33 pm:

By Gee on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 12:21 am:

    <<32. You have memorised the Heritage Foundation's Heritage Moments, including your favourites, "I smell burnt toast, Doctor", "You all know I canna read a word..." and "Kanata".>>

    ha! This one really makes me laugh! My all-time favorite commercial is one of those. It's the one about Superman: "Honestly, Joe, a strong-man in tights..."

By PSG on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 12:31 am:

    PS-Leaf, you should be ashamed of yourself! Ernie Coombs is MR DRESSUP!

By J on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 11:26 am:

    What is a tuque?

By semillama on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 12:09 pm:

    You were it on your head.

    In the UP of Michigan, it's pronounced "tchuk" but i thinkit's "tuk" in Canada. Long U for the canadian, short U for the UP version.

By J on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 12:35 pm:

    Got ya,I,ve been told I slay the english language,tried to order a gyros once,"I,ll have one of those Gi-ros please".

By semillama on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 01:14 pm:

    But that's Greek. It's slaying the english language if you mispronounce "barbeque."

    "Hello, I would like to order some barbeck ribs, please."

    "Excuse me?"

By Patrick on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 01:25 pm:

    J, every comma you use as an apostraphe is a stab at the english language. i commend you for it. you should read ee cummings if you like slaying the language.....gud knews i does

By J on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 01:38 pm:

    I had to be told you don,t pronounce the l in salmon,and that brie cheese has the emphisis on the e not the i.Many times when I go to resturants I just have to just point to the menu.

By heather on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 02:02 pm:

    i guess a lot of canada has leaked into detroit-
    i knew most of that stuff (and we say 'pop') and watched mr. dress-up

    i like canada- not as much pressure i think

    and j- it's probably only because people around you didn't pronounce things correctly (or maybe used very few words)
    or maybe you're just an all around rebel

By Jina on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 07:57 pm:

    I hate milk in a bag. It's so lame. And everyone has the same type of pitcher to hold them in.

By semilama on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 11:45 pm:

    You know, at some point, all the letters in written words had to have been pronounced, else why are they there? Although I wouldn't put it past the French to add the extra letters to annoy the English.

By _____ on Saturday, February 19, 2000 - 01:52 am:

By _____ on Saturday, February 19, 2000 - 11:15 pm:

    fine, then. you're all a bunch of jerks. i'll never post a dumb song again, so there!

By Gee on Sunday, February 20, 2000 - 03:13 am:

    that was really funny. Your comment, not the song. I'm too lazy to wait for the song to download. I don't even have nate's song.

By _____ on Sunday, February 20, 2000 - 04:03 am:

    I don't buy it. it's not like everything has to stop while it's downloading. you just go ahead and do your thing, gee. see if i care. you think i care? think again.

By mistaswine on Sunday, February 20, 2000 - 06:27 am:

    i downloaded your stupid little song, you cheap whining whore.

    and i saved your...

    oh shit...

    i think my heart just stopped.

    older women are bad for your health.

By _____ on Sunday, February 20, 2000 - 01:41 pm:

    whose mom this time?

By _____ on Sunday, February 20, 2000 - 02:01 pm:

    and take your goddam turn. what is your problem?

By MapleLeaf on Monday, February 21, 2000 - 10:38 am:

    Thanks on the Mr. Dressup correction.....but I also think there was a top flight curler from the Ottawa area with same name ...I guess it depends on the cirlces you travel in.

    My milk pitcher is light blue. What is yours?

By Gee on Tuesday, February 22, 2000 - 12:07 am:

    dark blue.

    I never use it, though. I buy milk in 2lt cartons.

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, February 22, 2000 - 03:31 pm:

    I used to have a dark blue one.....I left it with my first wife....along with everything else.

By J on Wednesday, February 23, 2000 - 11:42 am:

    That,s a new one on me,the mysterious Maple Leaf.Do Canadians drink buttermilk?

By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, February 23, 2000 - 12:58 pm:

    Of course Canadians drink buttermilk....I don't but it is available.

By J on Wednesday, February 23, 2000 - 01:40 pm:

    I love buttermilk,I drink a glass a day,the rest of the day I drink gallons of water to offset my booze consumption that usually starts around 3.p.m.

By Willy Nilly on Friday, July 28, 2000 - 02:00 pm:

    Wow, I was just scanning this thread... it's so long! I'd never thought that anyone had this much to say about Canada and things canadian. Well, I might believe that a canadian had that much to say, but I wouldn't believe he/she'd say it.

    I'm from Toronto - as for drivers - it's a product of suburban driving, or maybe more accurately, suburban living. No one walks to the store because it's too far. Ever been to Pickering? You can drive through almost everything! I've heard similar complaints about people with RVs or big cars in Florida. As far as tourists go, canadians pick up after themselves and don't want any trouble. What would Florida have if it didn't have tourism?

    California - no fucking canadians? Well, I can't say whether they're fucking or not, but most of the canadians who live in the US happen to live in California. Apparently there are so many in LA (entertainment industry, mainly) that there are support groups. There are a lot in the computer industy too.

    I have a friend who spent a year studying in Cambridge (UK) and she knew a lot of americans who put a canadian flag on their back packs, but this is second-hand info. When I was in Italy I was one of the few people I saw with any kind of flag on a bag. Granted, mine was small and sometimes hard to see - perhaps the others were the same?

    I live in Brooklyn right now. I'd say that I've had a lot of exposure to US culture first hand. Overall, I miss Canada because it's a bit more logical and a lot more comfortable... well, more comfortable than New York, anyway.

    And I know that americans don't think about Canada at all. That's the way we like it because we're slowly taking over from the inside... beware!

By Jay on Friday, July 28, 2000 - 03:13 pm:

    I'm also canadian and now live in florida. if florida didn't have tourisim we'd have less traffic and less shitted on beaches. people come on fucking vacation and the first thing they do is bend over and stick their heads right up their ass. people get stupid on vacation. but you can't really blame them. the weather in florida rules, it's nice year round. i never have to put on fifty four layers of clothing just to go get my newspaper. if i was coming to florida for the first time i'd be stunned into stupidity myself.
    i'm going back to canada next week for the first time in ten years and i'm gonna be so goddamn stupid they'll probably ban tourists for the next hundred years. i'll be like...
    "do i want to turn in here? gee let me just stop right here in the middle of the road and think about it."
    "there's garbage cans everywhere i look but i'll just leave my trash right here."
    "holy shit, i'm supposed to be in that lane. all these people behind me won't mind if i swerve across these five lanes to get there."
    "fuck tipping!"
    I think i'll also rent a pair of five year olds to take with me and just let them do whatever the fuck they want everywhere i go.

By Willy Nilly on Friday, July 28, 2000 - 04:22 pm:

    If you behave like you say you will, and you'll be in Toronto, then you'll be acting like tourists from Buffalo. I think it's just tourists... they are unfamiliar with the place and do things that are not customary. However, if your livelyhood depends on tourism, there is only so much you can complain about.

    Anyway - tourists do all sorts of silly things. It's better to laugh at them.

By J on Friday, July 28, 2000 - 05:20 pm:

    This thread is making me miss MapleLeaf.

By Gee on Saturday, July 29, 2000 - 12:17 am:

    you've still got me, sweetheart.

By J on Saturday, August 5, 2000 - 10:25 am:

    J loves Gee:)

By J on Monday, August 7, 2000 - 03:00 am:

    Go all pink Gee,have you seen Gwen's hair?I love it.

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, August 8, 2000 - 11:40 am:

    TaDa!!!!!!! MapleLeaf returns to the grasp of J !!
    How nice of you to 'miss' me. Still very busy and don't get much time to come on here but I do on occasion. things may change in the future to allow me more time for 'playtime'. I didn't realize there were so many Canadians in Sorabjiland. I knew about Gee but all of these others.....hhmmmm...maybe we are taking over from within.

By J on Tuesday, August 8, 2000 - 12:26 pm:

    I've missed you ML:)

By J on Tuesday, August 8, 2000 - 04:21 pm:

By Trace on Tuesday, August 8, 2000 - 04:27 pm:

    Go Canada!

By Gee on Wednesday, August 9, 2000 - 01:12 am:

    I'm going to go blue now, J. I washed my hair 14 times this weekend to try and get rid of the pink. I was never so sick of water in my life. I figure I'll be pink-free by the weekend.

    I like the pink. I'll go back to it later. but I have the urge to try blue. I'm going to do my whole head in blue. I think just doing the front in blue (as I did with pink) would look stupid with this color.

By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, August 9, 2000 - 10:55 am:

    Ontario recently had a bad outbreak of E-coli bacteria in the water supply of a small town. Six people died and hundreds were very ill. This happened back in June and they still don't have their water back.
    But I am wondering what is in the water in Gee's town that is causing her to want to colour her hair blue? But then it wouldn't be difficult to pick her out in a crowd.

By Trace on Wednesday, August 9, 2000 - 11:00 am:

    Now we can sing blue hair driving in my lane!

By Trace on Wednesday, August 9, 2000 - 11:59 am:

    new webpage for posting pics:
    To log in go to www.homestead.com
    your user name will be sorabji
    and your password will be sorabji.
    You can post pics to this website.

By Gee on Monday, August 14, 2000 - 11:40 am:

    do you want a donut, maple?

    the blue didn't work out. I tried to dye my hair blue and the front came out right, but the back was green. a really Ugly shade of green. I hated it so much I grabbed the spare box of red dye my mother keeps handy and went to town. my hair came out black. which I also hated.

    so I tried to bleach my hair with extra light blond color and it came out green and orange. GREEN AND ORANGE. luckily the fourth dye (brownish/red) came out alright and I am now an auburn-haired beauty.

    but oh, my poor hair. how it suffered.

By moonit on Tuesday, August 15, 2000 - 12:34 am:

    colour, labour, MUM. dammit

By Gee on Tuesday, August 15, 2000 - 11:50 am:

    I always call my mother Mum.

By Jay on Tuesday, August 15, 2000 - 01:45 pm:

    "people say all kinds of crazy shit during sex. one time i called this chick Mom."

By Trace on Tuesday, August 15, 2000 - 02:31 pm:


By TBone on Tuesday, August 15, 2000 - 02:48 pm:

    I love Kevin Smith movies. What was the name of the character who said that? I can't remember... It wasn't Dante Hicks or Jay or Silent Bob... It was the movie store guy.

By Jay on Tuesday, August 15, 2000 - 03:10 pm:


    "hell, if i'd known you were working, i'd a come in even later."

By on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 - 01:35 am:

    i think that being canadian is the best. cuz we don't have a prime minister like bush, instead there is martin. we're not stuck up and just to make our country look good, we don't call other ones bad.lol, jess.anywayz, also we actually have a good country!!! all of the good ones cum frum here, avril lavigne, shania twain, wayne gretzky, michelle branch, tiger woods and soooooo
    many more!!! so fuckin' get a life u stupid americans. At least our people don't kiss somebody on stage fur fun that is the same gender as them ( britney spears, madonna- me against the music)!!! ya so as u can see canadians are way better then americans. i mean if the name "america" sounds corny. Don't furget that hockey was invented in canada. we have great teams like:toronto maple leafs, edmonton oilers, calgary flames, ottawa senators and vancouver canucks. and Bball was invented here!
    so ha ha ha!

By J on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 - 02:17 am:

    Michelle Branch is from Arizona U.S.A, so is Jimmy Eat World,just so you know.

By semillama on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 - 09:58 am:

    Actually, professional hockey started in America.

    Apparently, so did the notion of spelling correctly.

By Skooter on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 - 10:49 am:

    Porfessional hockey was born in 1903 in the Amphidrome, which burnt to the ground later, in the small town where I live of Houghton Michigan.
    So there you go, hose head. Take off eh?

By Rowlfe on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 - 05:58 pm:

    hockey sucks

By wisper on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 - 06:21 pm:

    where did this idea that canada invented hockey come from, anyway?
    There's no Heritage Minute commercial about that, therefore, it never happened.
    Basketball-yes. Hockey-no.

    Nor is it our national sport.
    Lacross is.

    Why be proud of hockey? why not the discovery of insulin?
    Why be proud of Avril Lavigne? Why not Hard Core Logo? or Godspeed You! Black Emperor?

By semillama on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 - 06:27 pm:

    or DOA, for christ sakes.

By dave. on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 - 06:34 pm:


By kazu on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 - 06:38 pm:

    ember swift

By Dougie on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 - 06:46 pm:

    gordon lightfoot

By Rowlfe on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 - 06:50 pm:

    Devin Townsend

    I just found out that Tommy Chong is Canadian. Go figure.

By wisper on Wednesday, January 28, 2004 - 09:45 pm:

    Skinny Puppy, even.
    or Hot Hot Heat.
    and Leonard muthafuken' Cohen

By The Watcher on Thursday, January 29, 2004 - 02:28 pm:

    Canada is so great that all their big name entertainers move to LA.

By The Watcher on Thursday, January 29, 2004 - 02:29 pm:

    My wifes godmother came from Canada. She now lives in Florida.

    Great lady.

By kazu on Thursday, January 29, 2004 - 04:11 pm:

    Bruce McCulloch

By dave. on Thursday, January 29, 2004 - 04:15 pm:

    alex zivojinovich.

By Spider on Thursday, January 29, 2004 - 07:14 pm:

    Peter Jennings.

By kazu on Thursday, January 29, 2004 - 07:15 pm:

    Saul Bellow.

By Dougie on Thursday, January 29, 2004 - 10:06 pm:

    Peter Jennings still says "aboat" and "leftentant" on the news -- kewl.

By Skooter on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 12:33 pm:

    Rush. Corey Hart and Bryan Adams....ehh.maybe not.
    Tea Party is great and they are from Canada

By semillama on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 02:29 pm:

    Motherfucking VOIVOD.

By Skooter on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 03:20 pm:


By dave. on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 04:04 pm:

By dave. on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 04:05 pm:

By dave. on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 04:07 pm:

By dave. on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 04:10 pm:

By Spider on Friday, January 30, 2004 - 07:41 pm:

    Margaret Atwood.

    Nathan Fillion.

    The Tragically Hip.

    Is Encyclopedia Brown from Canada?

By Skooter on Saturday, January 31, 2004 - 10:27 am:

    How about William Shatner?

By J on Saturday, January 31, 2004 - 01:08 pm:

    How about William Shatner recording a new album with Henry Rollins,Joe Jackson and Brad Paisley? It's all too true.

By Spider on Monday, February 2, 2004 - 09:38 am:

    I just learned I share a birthday with Scott Thompson of the Kids in the Hall (June 12). Neat!

By Spider on Monday, February 2, 2004 - 10:35 am:

    And I just learned that the KITH Season 1 DVD is out, and it includes the Scott Thompson "I am Canadian" sketch that I mentioned way upthread. You can buy it with free shipping at the A&E site.

By Rowlfe on Monday, February 2, 2004 - 11:44 am:

By Rowlfe on Monday, February 2, 2004 - 11:47 am:



    had some hype and hits in the states in the mid 90s with 'bad as they seem' and 'tree's lounge'...

    site has lots of new videos and other stuff. he was too good to stay mainstream

By Bump on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 06:57 am:

    Im sorry to say that the only thing that the states have to offer is free tv, thanks by the way, florida sucks the big one along with all the other states, christ ya cant even buy a gram of weed in your country without losin your car if ya get caught, not that ya would want to buy any of that bunk shit they grow down there. I sure would love to see what the states would do without our oil, gas, trees, metal, food, water, amoung a hundred other things that you cant seem to get from your own country, and my god the stupidity of your government, its so crooked, and you stupid asses elected them. There is a reason your booze is so cheap, cause your entire country is run by alcoholics. By the way you beer sucks to.
    I'm glad I don't live in a country that you have to hide from terrorists all the time, what is it like to live in fear for your life every day of the year, I wouldnt know I havent been afraid of anything in my life, exept for runnin out of weed, ha ha ya losers. Must be fun livin in a country where your all scared for your lives, no wonder ya all got guns, affraid of the world.
    Need to push your views on every other country in the world and then run and hide in your country.
    Well stay hidin down there, we dont want or need you in Canada, its nice and plesant and peacefull up here and we dont need a bunch of backword thinkin people from south of the boarder screwin it up.

By Guess Who on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 11:01 am:

    Bump, I can screw your country Canada at anytime, thought, it been easy for us to do that at anytime. God ! I have been to few of the restaurant in Ontario Canada, guess what? When I order something, they didn't cook right, it just under cook. Get the drift? they been cutting so much corner,and oh my God! Guess what? When I checked into one of the Hotel in Ontario, EWWWWW! There is a stench smelling .... I was wondering......Hmmmmm. Yuck, we will never come back unless if we wanted to finish them off Tee Hee.SO Bump. If you think we are so cheap? How come everything is so EXPENSIVE up in Canada? You had to pay 15% taxes, and you constantly rob us American by claiming that we just won the prize, but we had to pay you Canadian what ever amount for fee? And then you get away it from us? Maybe ,we are about to do that to you? Huh? God, you Canadian are bastard retarded

By Bump on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 05:58 pm:

    Guess who
    First of all the money you payed in taxes can be reclaimed if ya had half a brain in your head, the taxs are for canadains, and of course your food sucked, we didnt want you here and were tryin to get rid of you, and if ya cant afford a good hotel who the hell is the cheap one, think ya can speak engish, what did ya drop out of school before ya learned how to form proper sentances. Oh ya why is evrything expensive up here, because we actually get paid for the work we do and can afford it. Like I said before we dont want you here and as to screwin Canada, give it your best shot, ya cant even type.

By Nate on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 06:29 pm:

    "There is a stench smelling .... I was wondering......Hmmmmm."

    i ate a lot of fudge.


By Guess Who on Monday, August 16, 2004 - 11:39 pm:

    Bump, I already reclaimed the taxes, you dumbfucker.....

By wisper on Tuesday, August 17, 2004 - 06:05 pm:

    gotta get over the smell thing dude, seriously.
    It was the lake.

By Hi on Wednesday, August 18, 2004 - 01:08 am:

    Bump, you think I can't type? Well, check your spelling though. But it was worth trying.

By JC on Friday, August 20, 2004 - 12:12 am:

    So,you guys are saying Peter Jennings is Canadian? Ah yes, i really do miss John Candy. He's my favorite guy.

By Spider on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 09:12 am:

    For my birthday last week, I bought myself the Season 2 DVD set of "the Kids in the Hall," and I justified spending the $59.99 to myself (when I make only $80.00/month as a volunteer) by reminding myself that they're Canadian.

    Because I'm obsessed with Canada. No joke.

    Let me tell you about my new life's dream.

    See, for many years, my life's dream was to go to Glacier National Park. I finally got to go to Glacier a couple of weeks ago, and while I was there I honestly got a little depressed that I had fulfilled my life's dream already and now had nothing to live for.

    But for a while I've also been wanting to go to Alberta, since I've never been to any western provinces and it's the closest, and while I was at Glacier I could have had the chance to go had I not been one of the two of us (out of seven) who had brought his or her birth certificate (so as to cross the Canadian border).....and since all of us couldn't go, the group decided none of us could go.

    I was so mad.

    But anyway, also while I was in Glacier, I was filled with longing for an RV, because it rained or snowed (in June!) during all four days we were there.


    My new life's dream is to drive across Canada in an RV.

    I want to go not just across the Trans-Canadian highway, but, no, up north into each of the provinces, up where the town names in Quebec are no longer in French, up where the remaining 10% of the Canadian population lives.

    I figure renting an RV for several weeks, if not longer, will cost thousands of dollars, and I'll need to have a profession which will allow me not only to earn thousands of dollars but take several weeks in vacation, so it might be quite some time before I can fulfill this life's dream.

    But that is okay with me. For now I'm reading books like "Canada Coast to Coast" and "The Rough Guide to Canada" to fuel my fantasy. And it is good.

By droopy on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 10:49 am:

    Who are you?: I AM CAnADIan

    Rowlfe: 6/23, 02:16 am
    Rowlfe: 6/23, 03:58 am
    Spider: 6/23, 09:12 am

    that's how the link to this thread appears on my computer. i cut and pasted it. i'm not crazy. it's not just me.

    i once invented a mnemonic device so i could remember all the provinces of canada: basm on cue for the newfound newbie prince nova.

    it probably doesn't look all that helpful written out like that, but i still have to say it in my head if i'm ever need to remember all the provinces.

    like when i'm pretending to be canadian.

By dave. on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 10:51 am:


By Antigone on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 11:13 am:


By droopy on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 01:36 pm:

    what's the proper inuktitut pronunciation of nunavut?

    none uv ut?

    what do i want of canada? i want nunavut!

By wisper on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 02:46 pm:

    like this- "noo na voot"

    oh Spider, i will come with you.

By V on Thursday, June 23, 2005 - 10:09 pm:

    "American beer sucks"???

By eri on Friday, June 24, 2005 - 12:46 am:

    oh, recent experience, american beer does suck.

    FYI spunky is in Cali right now.

By droopy on Friday, June 24, 2005 - 01:04 am:

    people have always thought our beer sucks. hate our beer, burn our flag, i don't care.

    however. i'd like to mention that i've heard many times that the idea that canadian beer is stronger than (has more alcohol than) american beer is a myth stemming from the fact that canadians measure alcohol content by volume instead of by weight, as americans do. so the same beer with the same amount of alcohol could be 5% in canada and 4% in the u.s.

    however. when i got off work this evening, at 6pm, i decided to buy myself a beer to cool myself while i waited for the bus. (it was about 99 degrees.) i saw this beer called "steel reserve 211". it was in a 24 ounce can. i bought it. i have a sense of adventure.

    so i'm drinking it at the bus stop. its taste was...acrid. but i've had worse. about halfway through i'm starting to feel it. i took a good look at the can and saw "8.1% alc/vol".

    that's strong beer.

By platypus on Friday, June 24, 2005 - 01:54 am:

    Spunky came out to the golden state and didn't mention it to any of the Californiate Sorabjites? SHAME!

By dave. on Friday, June 24, 2005 - 04:12 am:

    cali is huge. maybe his destination is 200 miles from a major city. but, whatever. spunk, i'll meet you for a beer if you ever travel to western wa. just give me a couple days lead time.

By patrick on Friday, June 24, 2005 - 12:06 pm:

    heh. thats funny droop. isnt that malt liqour?

    i tried the steel reserve once. that beer is all testosterone man.

By droopy on Friday, June 24, 2005 - 02:12 pm:

    son of a bitch. it *was* malt liquor, wasn't it?

    next time i'll just buy a bottle of mad dog 20/20 and be done with it.

By eri on Friday, June 24, 2005 - 05:57 pm:

    He only got like 1 hour notice before he had to leave. I am not sure if any Cali Sorabjites are near where he is staying in Palm Springs.

    You guys know that Spunky and I are flag flying, patriotic freaks, who were flying our flags before it was "trendy" and had flags on our cars before then as well, so it probably isn't a suprise that we don't like flag burning, but at the same time I am so tired of EVERY LITTLE THING having to be legislated. It's driving me nuts.

    Don't know much about alcohol content and haven't tried any canadian beers. I just drink my wine from the box, or margaritas, or cheap beer and leave it at that.

By V on Friday, June 24, 2005 - 10:32 pm:

    American beer is real fine,but I want a 10%,it exists someplace in the deep South.

By Rowlfe on Saturday, June 25, 2005 - 03:22 am:

    only asking this on this thread so it doesnt get lost...

    is anyone here from Oregon, hopefully the Portland area? I need someone to pick me up a copy of this upcoming weeks' Portland Mercury, if they dont send me one themselves...

By Rowlfe on Saturday, June 25, 2005 - 03:25 am:

    I just did some reconnaissance work and some time ago patrick said the Portland Mercury is available in L.A.

    I might need you to keep an eye out for me, patty.

By V on Saturday, June 25, 2005 - 06:12 pm:

    ...well,I got hold of "the Jewish news"today,but its of no use to you,Sir.

By wisper on Sunday, June 26, 2005 - 10:41 am:

    it's Gay Day!
    it's Gay Day!
    it's Gay Day!
    it's Gay Day!
    it's Gay Day!

By V on Sunday, June 26, 2005 - 11:32 am:

    WOW,you sound like jack.

By jack on Sunday, June 26, 2005 - 11:36 am:

    clever as never.

By V on Sunday, June 26, 2005 - 12:03 pm:

    WAAAAAL HI SUGER PLUM,.............clever as allways!,uh,jack,did I see you on t.v.,in a gay pride march?...that was you wearing leather chaps with your fat ass hanging out,right?,,,,,and yes,your ass looks big in chaps.,no,its not big, ITS FUCKING HUGE!!!!!!!!!!.........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

By patrick on Tuesday, June 28, 2005 - 05:56 pm:

    its not available in LA but we get a copy here at the office because they sometimes review our books.

    just call their editorial office when its published, im sure they'll send you one.

By V on Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - 12:15 pm:

    ...Send me what? jacks nekid ass in chaps? no thanks,you can keep it.


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