mr. ripmeoff n. pissonme Who are you?: mr. ripmeoff n. pissonme

By Nate on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 02:45 pm:

    i have a kato.

    a live in for the past 10 months, rent free. i've covered his bills, everything.

    he's a nice guy. a good friend.

    but this has gone on too long.

    my last roommate did the same fucking thing. he wasn't so nice, though, so i had no problem kicking him out.

    but now i'm tired. tired of the little messes. tired of the space heaters left on all night. tired of his cat keeping me up all night. tired.

    so i have to do it.


    car work today. one thousand dollars.


    penny stock today. up 44%.


By I. Cleauso on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 03:31 pm:

    Does Kato attack you when you come home?

By Nate on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 03:38 pm:

    sometimes. but whenever he answers the phone i give him a few "sucker chops"

    who was the oj free loader? cato kalin?

By J on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 03:39 pm:

    What kind of "friend" would let you pay his bllls for 10 months and live with you for 10 months for free?What does he do with his money?

By C.I. Dreyfus on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 03:42 pm:

    Have you any beemps on your head?

By O.j. on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 03:45 pm:

    leave ma boy alone!

By Nate on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 03:47 pm:


    he doesn't have a job. he's been looking for work for 10 months.

By Patrick on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 03:47 pm:

By Patrick on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 03:49 pm:

    dude, how hard is it to find work? surely the poor fuck can flip a burger or stock the pic & sav

    i say put him out on his ass, the guy obviously is enjoying his new found sugar pop and I'd say you've been a good pal long enough....give him until the end of jan.....

By B. Clinton on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 03:55 pm:

    Can he drive a limo? Can he hide evidence? I might have a position for him.

By Nate on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 04:14 pm:

    that's the plan. he won't take a job that he feels is below him. that's part of the problem.

    shuns the blue collar work.

By Patrick on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 05:11 pm:

By Margret on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 05:43 pm:

    You know what, Nate, fuck him.
    I have never been longer than 2 weeks without a job unless I saved up money expressly for the purpose of not working WHILE NOT SPONGING OFF OF any of my wonderful friends or less wonderful family.
    I am overqualified for every single fucking job I've ever had. Every fucking one.
    You're not his mommy, and you're not his daddy, and it's great that you're a good friend.
    He doesn't have to take a "beneath him" job forever. Make him get a fucking temp. job. That's what I do while looking for permanent jobs for which I'm less overqualified.
    Can I have his room when you kick him out?

By R.C. on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 05:46 pm:

    Cowboy Nate, you ol' softie you!

    I wdn't have thought you'd let anyone live w/you rent-free unless they were giving up some ass.

    (Ummm, he's not, is he?)

    Just give the guy notice that he's got til you go to closing on yr house. After that/he's on his own.

    But no one says you have to feed the bastard while he's there.

By simon on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 05:55 pm:

    Get him shitfaced and drop him off at the local marine corps recruiting station. He'll thank you for it some day.

By Nate on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 07:17 pm:

    naw, he's not giving up any ass.

    i already closed on my house.

    i'm going to deadline him tonight.

    see how that goes.

    yes, margret, you need a room i'd put you up.

    if you needed time to get on your feet, i'd probably even forgive a month's rent.

    just no smoking, no pets.

    and no more than a month. ten months is just fucking nuts.

By R.C. on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 07:49 pm:

    NO SMOKING, Nate?

    I thought yr place was, like, cheeba city!

    Or do you only discriminate against us cigarette smokers & base heads?

By Patrick on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 08:06 pm:

    RC, my wife and I are the only smokers in california, and yes they do discriminate against cig smoke. Cheeba smoke is a-ok.......

By Czarina on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 10:53 pm:

    Nate, you said he was a good friend, a nice guy. I think in this case honesty would be the best policy.In this life it doesn't pay to make enemies, they have a bad habit of popping up at the most inopportune times.Stop and think, would this guy have carried me for 10 months?
    How marketable are his skills? Is he being unrealistic in his goal for employment?
    Part of being a good friend is accepting them with all their little idiosyncrasies, and God knows we all have them.Thats what makes life so diverse and interesting.
    Gently, but honestly broach the problem, "you know, this has been bothering me for awhile now---------".
    If he is indeed a good friend, he'll take it alright, if he is indeed a "big ole mooch", then you've lost nothing but an extra financial burden.

By Isolde on Friday, January 7, 2000 - 11:38 pm:

    I wouldn't oject to cig smoke, mbecause I tink if people want to smoke, that's their business, except that I have asthma, and am rendered incapable of breathing around cig smoke.

By J on Saturday, January 8, 2000 - 12:13 am:

    I have asthma and I smoke isn,t that sick?

By Nate on Monday, January 10, 2000 - 10:54 am:

    cig smoke reeks. i'm not sure smokers realize how much it clings to everything. even when you go outside and smoke, you bring the reek back with you.

    ganja smoke just doesn't do that. and besides, ganja smoke smells goooood.

    so, i told him that I wanted him to pay rent on 2/1. he said ok. That was friday night. i saw a mess of grocery and retail applications on his desk Saturday. He was talking about working two jobs. We'll see how it goes.

By R.C. on Monday, January 10, 2000 - 04:57 pm:

    It depends on the brand of cigaretts one smokes, Nate.

    Truly. Some brands have a smell that coats everything. Mine does not -- at least/that's what non-smokers who've been to my house tell me. But I burn a lot of scented candles at home,too.

    S'okay, Nate. With a 15 acre spread & a river in the back/I won't be offended if you ask me to go outside to smoke. :)

By Nate on Monday, January 10, 2000 - 05:33 pm:

    well what you smoke? nat shermans?

By R.C. on Monday, January 10, 2000 - 05:51 pm:

    Yup -- Sherman's Hint o' Mint. There's a touch of mint oil in the paper (not added to the tobacco) vs. menthol.

    Non-smokers usually have super-sensitive noses. So when a girl form work stopped by my house a couple of weeks ago & said "I didn't think you smoked!" when she saw the ashtrays in my living room/I figured they smell must not be that bad.

By semillama on Monday, January 10, 2000 - 07:07 pm:

    well, actually non-smokers have the same noses as smokers, except your brain selectivly filters out nasty smells if you are around them enough. I mean look at farmers who love the smell of manure. or how no one thinks their farts stink too bad.

By R.C. on Monday, January 10, 2000 - 07:25 pm:

    Speak for yrself.

    I personally admit to having cut a few killer farts in my day. Esp. the day after tying one on.

By Isolde on Monday, January 10, 2000 - 07:50 pm:

    I think cloves smell really good. Other than that...ugh. But that is personal preference, after all...

By Gee on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 - 12:16 am:

    how do we always manage to work our way back to disgusting bodily functions?

By Nate on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 - 12:18 am:

    anyone want a fart mailed to them?

    i'll buy a case of natty ice. i think that will about handle all requests.

By Czarina on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 - 01:00 am:

    Nate,I'll pass on the fart,as I have my own fart machine.Congrads on your new property!I never finished my bird info for you, so here's an abbrev. version-------If I was limited to just one parrot, I would choose the eclectus------truley beautiful birds, their feathering is lush,almost like fur,their colors vibrant.They are neither loud nor destructive.They are "chatterboxes",and like to talk, you can actually hold a conversation with some of them,my bird Buster is most entertaining, he sings out his name,"Buster Biiiird", he would always repeat what I said to him, example----"Good morning Buster Bird", "I love you Buster Bird", and then one day he realized that he was Buster,so I guess he figured that I was "Bird", and now refers to me as such,"I love you Bird",etc.This of course warmed the cockles of my heart, and he is my constant companion.{sitting next to me at the computer now,while the cockatoo SCREAMS in the background]
    Eclectus are very "people" oriented, and will spend their time out of the cage searching for you.They are however,VERY serious about eating, much more so than other species, and will worry themselves if they see you eating and not "sharing".This would be my all time favorite pick for a bird.
    I also enjoy my macaws, they have great senses of humor, often playing tricks.They are fair to good talkers, and always comand attention from their size and beautiful coloring. They can be loud and destructive, but are very entertaining to watch,they like to lay on their backs and play with things with their feet.
    Actually, I thouroughly enjoy all my birds, and their different traits.With that much land, don't rule out a cockatoo, noise shouldn't be an issue with neighbors,just remember they are very NEEDY birds,and can actually have nervous breakdowns, so a major commitment is needed.[not birds that can be left by themselves for long periods].
    Well, hope this helps, if you need more info let me know.Enjoy your new place.

By Gee on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 - 01:06 am:

    My sister works with birds and she told me that he other day she realized they were afraid of her dog knapsack. You know the type - the knapsack that looks like a dog.

    she told me she kept pretending it was walking up to the the cages and they'd come peck at the knapsack and then puff up their feathers. I told her she was cruel, but I probably would have done the same thing.

By Czarina on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 - 01:32 am:

    I must confess,I, too, on occasion, have "messed" with my birds minds.

By Kel on Sunday, December 28, 2003 - 06:42 pm:

    Is this for real?

By Nate on Sunday, December 28, 2003 - 08:49 pm:

    nothing is for real.

    what the hell does that mean, anyway? f'real. nothing is for real. there is no real. there is nothing but faith, and faith is never real.

    some goddamn motherfuckers stand out here like sore thumbs. they pull and push their hats back and forward and lick their lips and smile at the girls. some goddamn motherfuckers don't stand up and never realize how drunk they are. cowboys drinking mai tais and wearing their hats inside fellating each other in the corner stall with knees pressed into wet peanut shells.

    i ate a pig. i ate a turkey. i ate a cocker spaniel and it smiled at me from the silver platter as i picked slivers of grey from its ribs. faces of dead relatives swirled in my wine. olives on the fingers of the children. the ill tidings restrained behind teeth, gates witholding, pleasant sips of warm fluid snot for your throat meat for your bowels.

    did you hear the voices? in the night, what woke me, what did you hear? you so happy in my arms, slipping in and out, sleep, your brown eyes open to kiss mine. i can't tell you your thoughts, i smell them, feel inside you. but what? i can't tell you your thoughts.

    did you hear the voices? the thump and clack of doors and windows rattling and the steps in the hall? did you smell the fire, the wind blown smoke, the heat from the bed where the smolder never embers, the flame never fires? i best the beast and still she haunts me and destroys my security hides my sanctuary. i rise in paranoia and hellfire for my sins and my past. i am a trembled mouse, my wings are rags, awash in sweat crashing ocean waves on a pale, bloodless beach.

    faith is not real. nothing is real.

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