sorabji.com: Who are you?: *~depression`*

By pez on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 03:32 am:

    i was diagnosed three years ago with chrinic depression. after around a year and a half of therapy (combined...i took a yearlong break from it in the middle) it was decided that i'd been "cured".

    that was one year ago in may.

    now i'm having such a hard time because everything that i want to do, everything that sounds like a good solution to my problems, totally coflicts with everything i've been taught to believe.

    school, for instance. is a community college of miscealanious teachers and thousands of students really an education? buying textbooks that i never read?

    i don't know what direction to go in, but i know i can't stay where i'm at, both physically and mentally, because i'd go crazy before long. physically, it's easy--i might have an apartment lined up right now (i'm waiting for an email from my would-be landlord). there's so much that needs doing, and i can't do everything. and what about how?

    i hopped into the shower and thought about killing myself--slit wrists, hanging, closed eyes while doing 50 on the highway.

    i really don't know. i guess more than anything i'm 19-year-old kid who's so scared--i'm supposedly leading an "ideal life" but if i get sick or anything, everything can be wiped away in an instant. educational records, my next paycheck. if my car stopped working, i'd really be screwed at this point.

    i don't want to end up in some stupid office all day long. teaching's ok, but it would make me feel so weird because i really don't like the system at this point.

    all i seem to know these days is what i don't want--and it's happening already.

By heather on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 08:23 am:

    when you are questioning everything you've been taught to believe, you are on the right track.

By semillama on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 10:28 am:

    Yeah, consider yourself ahead of the game. Just keep being creative and focus on working on what you want out of life. If you say you don't know, take a few hours, sit in a nice coffee shop or on a park bench with a note book, and start wrting about where you want to be in your life in ten years. It gives you something to focus on.

By patrick on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 11:53 am:

    one thing, that always....without a doubt, helps me, when i get that way...is to remember this simple phrase,

    it's never as bad as it seems.

    You vision is skewed so reassure yourself that things are NOT exact with these "coke-bottle" glasses on.

    Community college has teachers, not misc. teachers. I have found that community colleges can actually be quite interesting, as they are institutions not necessarily jaded by the prestige and pressures that come with big universities. head to a major university and enjoy classes in ampitheaters, straining to hear the mega busy professor, who has his TA field questions. I know I got more of a personal education at a community college than at the university i attended.

    you seem bogged down by the pressures "to be something" when in fact i'd advocate NOT thinking 10 years down the road,NOT focusing on anything, as that seems to be the source of your pressures. Im suspecting you got your parents barking in one ear, your own conscious in the other. Hit the road, give yourself some freedom, live a little. You need a break, you seem to need a long road east , some good friends...maybe an open bus ticket or a Shell card.

By Nate on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 01:11 pm:

    at least you're getting out of your parents' house? i think that might cure a chunk.

By pez on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 02:48 pm:

    i've already looked at an apartment. a basement room in a vegetarian house, where i can keep my cat and live for $140 a month.

    i'll be hearing more from the owner in a couple of days.

    once i'm out and the term's over, i'm going to give up driving so my sister can have the car. if i can have my job transferred to a different store, i can get to everything i need on my own two feet, a bicycle and public transportation. i could even have lunch with my mom sometimes on weekdays.

    right now the writing and creating are my passions. writing, drawing and a certain degree of sclpture have been luring me in, besides playing around with portable tape recorders. zines. another thing i'm looking at is joining the iprc (independent publisher's recource center) so i can get free internet and major discounts on copies (like three cents each).

    i'm slowly reducing the amounts of chicken and fish i'm consuming and am trying to do vegan when i'm cooking. trying to eat more fruits and veggies, particularly organic. i had this huge organic fuji apple for my snack yesterday and it was one of the best i've tasted ever.

    i'm re-evalutaing my environment and doing my best to change my current situation. i dropped my english class because i was stressing out and couldn't write anything for it. i'm getting rid of a bunch of cd's i never listen to (the awful ones i never listen to, have no desire to listen to).

    i have a beautiful leather coat that i've worn once in the last three years (it was a christmas gift when i was 14...a year and a half later i began my path to vegetarianism). i'm going to sell it because it really is beautiful, even if it is leather. no sense in keeping it and it might just pay my first month's rent.

    if i do move.

By patrick on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 03:40 pm:

    whats a vegetarian house?

    are these principles you a sense of identity or is your identity offering you these principles, especially regarding the desire to not eat animals or their by-products?

By cyst on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 03:50 pm:

    a vegetarian house is one whose residents are all vegetarians. no meat can be cooked there. sort of like keeping a kosher kitchen, I think.

By Spider on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 03:59 pm:

    Nate's right: moving out will help lots. Finding something to do that you've actually chosen for yourself, living in a way that you choose to live...this will help you be happy.

    I read an article last year that showed that a sense of a lack of autonomy is a great risk factor for the development of depression in adolescent girls. I know your family has problems with controlling you. Being on your own and able/allowed to take care of yourself will help you feel better and be better. Art/writing are also great for expressing yourself/creating beauty/being productive.

    You're smart. You seem good and kind. Those are great strengths you have....you'll see that you'll do really well on your own.

By patrick on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 04:39 pm:

    wow, i had no idea such a living arrangement exists.

    so would they not let a meat eater live there, even though he or she was a good friend and was sure to be a good roomate?

By cyst on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 04:58 pm:

    I'm guessing that in a vegetarian household, a meat eater may be allowed to live there but the person could not bring meat into the house. it's pretty common in the northwest. I bet if you looked at the roommates-wanted ads in l.a. weekly you'd see a lot of references to veg households.

By semillama on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 05:02 pm:

    One of the people I hung out with in New Orleans jsut left the vegetarian lifestyle. She said that her first hamburger in ten years was better than sex. That put a major grin on my face. Actually, Mandy put a major grin on my face on general purposes.

By patrick on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 05:06 pm:

    nope. just one. this is LA, people aren't so adament with their beliefs or eating habits.

    $350 to $650/mo
    Spiritual Rebel "Yesss" center, New Age Veggie Meditation, 4 house community.

    Im amazed by this. It really disapoints me actually, but what do i care.

By cyst on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 05:58 pm:

    hey, that's funny -- I saw that too. seattleites and portlanders seem much fussier about their potential roommates:

    Would pref M. No strong chemicals or perfumes plse.

    Wallingford M/F to shr lrg sunny veggie house.

    We are independent spirit minded ages 45-53 years. (2M-3F + 1cat) NS/NP, pref Veg.

    North Seattle Room avail in vegetarian, cat-friendly household.

    NS, veg M/F.

    28yo M artist w/ labrador to shr w/ 1 M/F. Positive, openminded, semi-veg.

    Be reliable, congnial, NS, animal lover.

    Charming, friendly, cozy NS semi-veg home, huge yard, W/D.

    Must be open minded and like dogs.NO FLAKES!

    NS, veg M/F.

    Wallingford 30sM 40sM to share tidy, quiet, 3br, 1 ba green-oriented home. You: indep housebroken, have steady day job.

    Room available in 4 bedroom semi-vegi household. No junkies.

    Room for rent in 2 bdrm/2 bath apt. Gay friendly.

    Rooms for rent. $400-$500. Queer Preferred.

    Gay or gay friendly only. large yard, dog ok.

    Share w/ cool but quiet workoholic. No fratboys, fuck ups or drugs

    Share w/ mom, son, & hse. dog. Pagan friendly pref.

    No tweakers. Herb ok.

    Must like animals, be herb tolerant. Seeking honest, enjoyable company...NOT a hideout housemate!! Creative/Eclectic a plus.

    I'm fun,open-minded,employed. Lkng for same for cohabitation.

    NS inside, veg+.

    Career minded, college educated females in early twenties to share with same.

    Independent., artistic, open minded Female seek same to share Small 2 bdrm.

    1 male and 2 females seek easygoing, responsible, working, housemate with no evil habits.

    No pets, no squares.

    mixed gay/stray, 30+ seek 1to share lrg Victorian w/all amenities, big yrd, prking, jetted tub, decks, kiln. $525 incl util+cable. Easy-friendly, * no ACTIVE alchol/addicts.

    Gay Male Household.

    Partiers, neat freaks and fucks need not apply. Sentient beings, smokers & Tuba players req'd!

    25+ yo, mature, re$pon$ible, etc.

    Looking for Gay male to live with Lesbian in 2bdrm duplex w/basement.

By Platypus on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 06:36 pm:

    Damn. Our ads here are more like fisherman looking for gay lovers who work the afternoon shift at the grocery.

    Seriously, it was majorly scary at the market today. There were all these ancient nasty crab and urchin divers eyeing my ass. It just reminded me that there's kind of a lot to eye right now. I should get my vegan ass off the couch and go do some crunches or something.

    Is it a well lighted basement, Pez?

By cyst on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 06:40 pm:

    from e-mail:

    "what did you do in dc?"

    saturday night I went out for drinks with a pro-cuba lobbyist, a reporter, a national gay lesbian task force organizer, a soon-to-be-former defense industry contractor waiting for her foreign service assignment, an amtrak lobbyist, and a post-production editor for the discovery channel.

    on our way out we saw ralph nader walking down (the middle of) the street. we didn't ask him to come with us because he looked busy. (he was carrying manila envelopes.)

By patrick on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 07:52 pm:

    jesus what a bunch of whiny bastards (roomate list)

By agatha on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 08:32 pm:

    patrick, why don't people have the right to be picky about who they choose to share their living space with? i don't see anything wrong with that at all. i especially don't see anything wrong with requesting a vegetarian roommate if you are a vegetarian. it makes perfect sense to me, and i'm not even that anal.

By heather on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 09:09 pm:

    the smell of cooking meat can nauseate me and i eat it, i imagine it could really gross out a vegetarian.

    but i'd rather ask for good hygiene.

    i would probably also be a bitch about ugly furniture in shared spaces. that is so wrong.

By pez on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 09:14 pm:

    the guy who owns the house is vegan, so i think the whole thing is pretty understandable. besides, everyone shares food there.

    the basement isn't finished, he's just starting to fix it up. it's a nice layout, and will be a lot of fun to paint and decorate.

    besides, i recognized the name that went with the ad, so i contacted him. i think it's alot better if you have some inkling about what the place would be like.

    better than answering an ad: "two college girls living near mhcc. no mullets please."

    besides, i'll be able to keep my kitty. if i left without her she'd be pretty unhappy.

    it's a good idea to be picky, i think, because it's better than having tons of spats later.

By Nate on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 10:44 pm:

    spats cover the laces of ganster shoes.

    la te da.

By JusMiceElf on Tuesday, April 24, 2001 - 10:45 pm:

    When I look for housemates, I interview sometimes a dozen people for one room...and that's not counting the ones I don't even ask over to see the house...of course, that just made me think of the begining of Shallow Grave...

    Damn. That's some wind. It's blowing the storm door back and forth. I should find some way to secure it.

By Daniel ssss on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 12:01 am:

    I like living alone except for the goats and occasional methheads wandering the woods. I would get upset about ugly furniture too. Stay on course Pez and don't let a damn thing bother you. Symptoms appear when one gets disconnected from one's process. Stay in the process: know and come to love the confusion and chaos in your life now. Embrace it. Get through it by allowing it to happen and go with the flow.

    Watch the goat shit though.

By pez on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 12:33 am:

    right now it's mostly watching out for the tar and gravel.

By heather on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 12:43 am:

    it's not ugly furniture that's wrong btw. it's me for being so snobby about it- just in case you were confused.

By Danielssss on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 01:37 am:

    no it IS the ugly furniture... Tar and gravel are no where near as messy as goat shit. For instance, I work with a goat. She is someone who is in everyone else's business, keeps stirring the pot (no not that kind, Patrick), and projects everything she is failing to handle within onto any close passerby/coworker. That's goat shit.

    Don't take on other folks' shit. We usually have enough of our own to deal with. Don't let others dump on you.

    If the furniture is really ugly, give it to Good will. They deserve it. And Heather, you can be snobby; I know where you live.

By heather on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 04:02 am:


    i'm going to assume that you mean that figuratively.
    um, well?

    i find it unnerving when people that i haven't met in person say that they know where i live.

    [good will deserves really ugly furniture?]

By semillama on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 09:26 am:

    I can share a house with folks, but not an apartment. Too small. Sometimes you need a lot of space to your self.

    I wonder about the veggie houses that are cat friendly. I guess they're ok with all the meat the cats eat.

By dave. on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 09:52 am:

    they actually make vegetarian dog and cat food. is that bent or what? control freaks like that should be eaten.

    as for depression, i wouldn't know but i hear exercise does wonders for it.

By JusMiceElf on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 10:38 am:

    true that, dave...sitting around on your ass is about the worst thing you can do for depressing. being physically active is a good thing.

By semillama on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 11:35 am:

    Cats need meat though. They literally need animal protien to function. Dogs can live on vegetarian stuff, but I can't image that any decendant of the wolf would be very happy about that, nor that it would be as nutritional good for them as including a diet of small game and the occasional small child.

    someone put crack in my coffee today and typing is really fun right now!

By patrick on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 01:23 pm:

    it just seems totally uptight to dictate the diet of a roomate.

    im not necessarily sayings its bad to be choosy agatha...it jsut seems there are far more important things

    i watched singles on the tely over the weekend...christ what a dumbass movie.

    maybe there are lingering thoughts about the pacific northwest lifestyle.

By pez on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 05:13 pm:

    here's the deal:

    joe doesn't allow meat in the house. that doesn't mean you can't eat meat elsewhere if you want.

    i asked about sylvie because she's turning into quite the hunter. he said that was actually ideal because there're mice in the house and he feels bad about setting traps, but a "natural predator" is ok.

    took a long walk around "town" yesterday for almost three hours and took lots of pictures: road signs, the edge of the tar, the army surplus, old schoolhouse (used for a craft school now) and the pioneer cemetary. and the old house near mine that was once the post office and stagecoach stop.

    this area has a lot of history and it's pretty interesting.

    * * *

    i just found out why oregon is so white: believe it or not, but there is a long history of racism here, beginning with the banning of slaves here before the civil war.

    so we wouldn't have to get involved, not because slavery is wrong.

By cyst on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 05:58 pm:

    oregon's motto used to be "the union."

    medford, oregon, had a "sunset law" (no blacks allowed out after dark) on the books until the early 1970s.

    I'm reading a novel about john brown -- "cloudsplitter" by russell banks. he was the radical white abolitionist who massacred a bunch of people at harper's ferry.

By cyst on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 06:08 pm:

    oh. he murdered five people in kansas. he probably killed people at harpers ferry, but it wasn't a massacre. I don't remember my history well.

    the last novel I read was also historical fiction very loosely based in truth -- "blonde" by joyce carol oates. there were a lot more sex scenes in that book. so far one of john brown's sons has gotten a blowjob, that's all.

By pez on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 06:26 pm:

    harper's ferry--

    john brown (not to be confused w/james brown, rolf!) and some of his cronies holed themselves up in the battery with all the guns and ammo, with the intention of handing the weapons out to slaves so they could kill their masters.

    they were caught, and all involved were hung.

    now john brown's body lies a mouldring in the grave...

By Nate on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 06:29 pm:

    i could use a blowjob. anyone want to lend me one?

By Daniel ssss on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 11:41 pm:

    Just lost a very long post to you, Heather, and can't get it back. Just as well. Just figuratively, of course.

By heather on Wednesday, April 25, 2001 - 11:44 pm:

    repeat some of it then.

    repeat it!

    ha. i am so demanding.

By pez on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 03:10 am:

    i'd blow my job if i could get along without it.

By Platypus on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 12:08 pm:

    I think I lost my last one, Nate, sorry.

By Nate on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 12:57 pm:

    it's ok. i'm getting used to it.

    besides, they're giving them away for free out in front of Joe's Bar. i'm just a little frightened of the patronage.

By Dougie on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 02:18 pm:

    Just close your eyes while toothless Joe's gumming your pecker and imagine Christie Brinkley. Probably feels just the same, not that I'd know or anything.

By Nate on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 02:32 pm:

    having never been blown by a toothless bar keep, or having never been blown by christie brinkley?

    i imagine christie brinkley would give horrible blowjobs.

By Dougie on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 02:33 pm:

    The former.

    Actually, she's very good.

By patrick on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 03:24 pm:

    i don't think i could bust wood for someone like her, or Cindy Crawford.

    blowjobs are over rated anyway nate.

By patrick on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 03:36 pm:

    "he said that was actually ideal because there're mice in the house and he feels bad about setting traps, but a "natural predator" is ok."

    im my opinion thats just absurd political correctness gone too far. did this guy get his balls snipped as young child?

    forget it....

    as far as Oregonian culture goes, I know when i've done market research...most of the state doesn't take kindly to anything homosexual. Of ourse in Portland, all of the bookstores are fairly liberal, and cool.

    i heard more times that not, from the seemingly flannel-wearing lumberjack types "we don't have any of them kind in this town". At times, it seemed even the south was more kind gays than Oregon.

By patrick on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 03:38 pm:

    the mrs. just read that post and said im being an ass.

    i gotta go now.

By pez on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 03:46 pm:

    it is that way, even in the metro area.

    my highschool was prctically run by a single church. a cross-dressing boy (he was in my writing group too) made the front page of the oregonian.

    i live fairly close to portland...20 miles from north portland...and the "culture" of the city doesn't go very far.

    which reminds me...the "town" is going to pot. a mcdonalds is opening in a month. time to leave.

By cyst on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 03:58 pm:

    portland is as white-intellectual-liberal city as can be found in this country. I think ralph nader has done better in multnomah county than anywhere else in the country. portland has the most titty bars, restaurants, movie theaters, college graduates, microbreweries, and bookstores per capita of any city in the country.

    but the oregon outside portland is another matter, of course. there it's all wal-mart, tax evaders, and homophobic bigots.

By Nate on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 04:09 pm:

    "blowjobs are over rated anyway nate"

    sounds like you've never had a real blowjob.

    so sorry.

By patrick on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 05:13 pm:


    i disagree.

    which is easier to negotiate...

    a blow pop

    or one of those suckers nearly a foot in diameter.

By pez on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 05:46 pm:

    i know how it is. a couple of years ago getting a bi-mart was a biiiiig deal.


    it's 90% white protestant. it took me a long time to trust the area latinos....but i think i've gotten over any racism i've had in the past.

    i'm lucky enough to be in a liberal family, however paranoid. "paranoid" meaning my mother thinks volunteering at a homeless shelter is unsafe.

    i'd rather volunteer than donate money. there's lots of money out there, but i think it's putting in the hours that counts.

By Dougie on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 06:08 pm:

    "trust the area latinos"

    What, were they untrustworthy previously?

    This is fucked up:

    There's a group in LI (Sachem Quality of Life Organization: www.sqlife.org) which doesn't want to allow a "hiring hall" in Farmingville, NY for illegal aliens. Currently, they hang out on the streets and wait to be picked for day jobs. Yeah, that looks much better for the community. Face it dumbasses, they're here, they want to work, and they're not going away. If you want to clean up your community, at least give them a place to congregate and a little dignity. Jeez, if people are getting AIDS from sharing needles, you give them clean needles, even though you know they'll do something illegal with them.

By Nate on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 06:22 pm:

    "which is easier to negotiate...

    a blow pop

    or one of those suckers nearly a foot in diameter."

    your cock is nearly a foot in diameter?

By cyst on Thursday, April 26, 2001 - 07:46 pm:

    for non-welthy people, it's better to put in hours than to donate money. however, I'm sure most charities would rather get an hour's worth of paul allen's money than a day of his time. (unless they were going to make him into a publicity stunt, perhaps.)

    one of the first serious topics I ever discussed with my boyfriend was whether altruism exists.

    I think it's better for many people to earn as much money as they can and donate most of it to charity rather than to put in a few hours here and there. if they really want to help out more than they want to feel good about themselves, that is.

    latinos are my very favorite type of immigrants. they're good landscapers, and they open such great, cheap restaurants. and I love seeing virgen de guadalupe statuettes in people's yards.

By heather on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 02:07 am:

    i disagree

    there's a lot of money around. but not many people put effort into changing all the things they complain about.

By heather on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 02:09 am:

    daniel answer me!

By Danielssss on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 02:12 am:

    Heather, I just can't....somehthing about those little privacy notices we are all receiving with the credit card bills and magazine subscriptions wthis month... not worthy of reconstructing.

    Did you get Berries? damn aol and its file management tricks. You may have gotten blank files, or nothing at all.

    Ah, the virgin d guadalupe and a day long sucker. sorabjithema. You are not demanding.

By heather on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 02:21 am:

    i got it.

    i almost sent a reply called buries, but then i thought it was inappropriate.

By pez on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 03:44 am:

    i don't know, there are more options for money, but i think time is more valuble than money these days.

    what if they paid the volunteers at homeless shelters?

    as for the latinos, i never met/saw/knew anyone of latino heritage until i was 13 years old. most that i've dealt with do not know the customs or the english language or our shoe sizes.

    it took time to swallow my pride and figure out what was wrong and why i couldn't just help them like i did the other customers.

    now, instead of crying after they leave, i smile while they're there. because once you understand them a little bit, it makes everything easier.

By Nate on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 11:08 am:

    yeah. just so long as they don't take their heads off around you. i hate it when the latinos do that. unscrew their heads and walk around with just the bare-metal protruding from their necks.

    god, those latinos are spooky.

By patrick on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 12:07 pm:

    not to mention when they leak they crazy green toxic goo....guacamole they call it.


    im with cyst...
    "latinos are my very favorite type of immigrants. they're good landscapers, and they open such great, cheap restaurants."

    not to mention, their influence has brough to my attention sauces i never knew existed such as mole, and all the various hot sauces. I also know how to make and serve tacos properly now.

    oh and mister nate....

    not necessarily saying anythign about my weiner and it's diameter...but merely making a point. i think i'd hit the carnival circuit if it were indeed a foot in diameter.

By cyst on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 12:45 pm:

    pez - consider studying spanish sometime. I used to be sort of contemptuous of mexicans, central americans, latino culture, the spanish language, etc.

    then I went there.

    I've been to about 30 countries, and I've spent years abroad. and spain and mexico may just be my two favorite places.

By Nate on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 01:06 pm:

    nothing beats latin culture.


By cyst on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 02:14 pm:

By Slothrop on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 07:51 pm:

    "when you are questioning everything you've been taught to believe, you are on the right track."

    i used to agree with that. you are on A track. people think they want to question EVERYTHING. but i dare you to apply the inquisitive crusader mentality to everything. it's the fast track to insanity. assumption (the road you take when you're not completely sure) gets a bad rap, but in "reality" it works. i'm not even convinced that we're equipped to question everything. i only say this because if you are suspect of everything you believe, you can wind up feeling quite remote. hindsight is 20/20.

    hello. my name is slothrop. don't try to argue- i have ESB. heh..ouch! fucking mosquitos...now i must hunt.

By Nate on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 08:46 pm:

    how... pynchonesque.

By droopy on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 08:49 pm:

    the second to the last job i had while i could still walk was at a landscaping company where most of the work crews where illegal latinos. they were from all over central and south america. some of them would live in sort of "haven houses" owned by a legal resident who would run it almost as a boarding house. some of them would sleep on the grounds of the landscaping company, which was called ladcor.

    one morning i got to work really early - you were supposed to be there at 6 a.m. ladcor was basically a converted house with a large backyard that blended into a vacant lot. there was a garden, a chicken coop, a tool shed, a sunflower patch, and some trucks. near the back door there was a picnic table, and i lay down on top of it. pretty soon i look over and start noticing all of these latinos emerging from various places - the trucks, the sunflower patch, the shed. i hadn't known they slept there. and the fact that it was so simultaneous - it was as though an alarm clock had gone off - made it more striking.

    i worked in a maintenance crew that was mostly white guys and one black guy. we'd mix a little bit in the mornings and then at the end of the day. maybe occasionally get some cerveza or smoke some weed together. some spoke english, some didn't.

    guests just arrived.

By Daniel ssss on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 09:31 pm:

    buries? buried? buriamos? burias? burian? buryat? whereyaat?

    I think I would like to read some Yeats now. Fair is fair.

By Daniel ssss on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 09:34 pm:

    and if it weren't some pretty noxious poetry, Berries is as close to inappropriate as they come. Hope it didn't offend your sensibilities.

By Slothrop on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 10:12 pm:

    "how... pynchonesque."

    only the name, brother.

    i just bought me a 7 dollar pack of chicken y fixins. also picked up a free twelver of red hook. did i steal it? maybe i did. maybe etc. also, got the keys to the next level.

By sarah on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 11:09 pm:

    pynchon mostly tries too hard. he's like steven tyler.

By Slothrop on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 11:16 pm:

    ok well i can't change the name, so sorry if it irks thee

By Slothrop on Friday, April 27, 2001 - 11:36 pm:

    for more pynchonesque blather, see nate's discourse on the ins and outs of the recent trade related protests in q-beck.

By pez on Saturday, April 28, 2001 - 12:55 am:

    i was worried because one of my favorite cousins is engaged to a mexican man (re: spanish is first language and lives in mexico...his uncle's a 'shoe baron' i guess) but now he might be moving here so it's pretty cool!

    (please don't tell my grandma. she's not supposed to know.)

    and completely off the topic, i've been approved to live in the veggie house, but the room won't be availiable for another two months.

By droopy on Saturday, April 28, 2001 - 01:16 am:

    my sister is engaged to/living with a latino guy. his father was born in the u.s. of mexican descent, and his mother's from mexico. his name is adrian. not long ago, there was some family gathering down on our ranch in austin. i wasn't there. anyway, my sister and adrian were sitting on the porch of the farm house with a great-uncle of ours. my sister said something about the rock fences that criss-crossed the land - all built by a few people laboriously picking rocks up off the ground, hauling them over to the fence site, and piling them up. there are hundreds of feet of fenceline. my sister thought it was an impressive feat.

    my uncle said, "why, it'd take a raftfull of wetbacks to make fences like this again."

    adrian just laughed it off.

    there's a texas expression for you, sarah.

By sarah on Saturday, April 28, 2001 - 08:06 pm:

    what are wetbacks?

By Slothrop on Saturday, April 28, 2001 - 10:31 pm:

    wetbacks is a derogatory term which refers to mexicans. the implication is that they had to sneak/swim across the rio grande in order to arrive in the US, and consequently their backs are wet. lovely, eh?

By droopy on Sunday, April 29, 2001 - 02:49 am:

    yep. my sister was mortified. even though adrian has deep brown skin, my uncle didn't realize he was latino. later on my uncle was asking people what adrian's last name was. but adrian's above it all.

    incidentally, the guys i used to work with always used the term "mojado", which basically means "wet" or "dipped in water".

    my sister just moved out of austin, sarah. adrian took a new job in san antonio. he used to work for the phone company, selling phone systems or something, i don't know what he's doing now. no flies on this kid - he took the job, literally sold the house he and my sister were living in out from under them (my sister called me and said "well, i'm homeless"), and found another place in san antonio without them having to live in hotels or friends' houses.

By Steven locs on Friday, October 15, 2004 - 10:05 pm:

    this is the big bad norte lettin it be known. fuck them rats. south park in the house so fuck u u little mouse. shit just lettin the scraps know that there little bitchez.late.
    lets hit the p-zo with a bowl of shit

By Francisco Estrada on Friday, November 26, 2004 - 09:16 pm:

    Chinga tu madrea Puto!

    this is Francisco Estrada the puto from central point Oregon. I also go to medford to buy meth and look for things to steal to support my habit so I am one fucked up scumbag of a spic

By lapis on Saturday, November 27, 2004 - 09:14 pm:

    good for you.

    now stay far far away before i kill you.

By lapis on Saturday, November 27, 2004 - 09:22 pm:

    this is weird. seeing one of my old whiney threads.

    not that i never whine anymore.

By Lapis on Thursday, December 23, 2004 - 12:48 pm:

    this also weird seeing how I was a lil whiney bitch with issues and now I am too busy chowing down on skin flute to get on the internet anymore.

By dave. on Thursday, December 23, 2004 - 01:50 pm:

    are you a fluffer in the portland porn industry?

By Nate on Thursday, December 23, 2004 - 02:09 pm:

    are you getting really good?

By wisper on Thursday, December 23, 2004 - 04:39 pm:

    skin flute.
    now THATS an update post.
    Merry X-mas!

By Newartriotgirl on Friday, June 2, 2006 - 04:28 pm:

    Lapis you cocksucking whiney asshole~!

    hahah fuk off!

By lapis on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 02:11 am:


    and i don't spend my time making random shit-tossing comments on message boards either.

    go me!

    i am so over cocksucking right now.

By Nate on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 03:51 am:


By lapis on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 12:41 pm:

    it's just that... things have never worked out with someone who i've given a blowjob. it's always been a turning point towards the end (if there even was an inkling of a relationship).

    when i didn't care, i loved it. but i've lost that ability not to care quite a bit.

By Nate on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 01:32 pm:

    do you feel like it is an act of submission?

By lapis on Saturday, June 3, 2006 - 09:02 pm:

    a little bit, yeah. when my head is being pushed towards a penis....

    ask, don't push.

By Jeffree Star on Tuesday, June 6, 2006 - 12:26 pm:

    What kind of way are you living lapis?

    are you a chick with a dick?

By lapis on Tuesday, June 6, 2006 - 08:03 pm:

    i'm living clean and healthy and i'm just a regular bioloical female.

By V on Wednesday, June 7, 2006 - 03:43 pm:

    lapis,sex shuts down at 40,its true.A dispute I dont have a problem with.You know how fast life goes? ...blink your eyes and your 40.Blink your eyes again,your dead.Check it out.V died years ago,ask my Doctor.


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