birth order (another reason you're fucked up) Who are you?: birth order (another reason you're fucked up)

By droopy on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 12:58 am:

    all psychology is crap.

    nevertheless, this kind of caught my interest. there was a show on npr this afternoon about birth order. most of it had to do with relationships - how to chose a mate. for example, if you're a firstborn, it's best to pick a "baby of the family" and vice versa. balance the relationship, apparently. they also said that 90% of the people you meet are wrong for you. there's the problem right there, sem.

    here is what you birth order is supposed to mean:

    Firstborns tend to be:

    strong leaders
    seeking of respect and approval

    Only children tend to be:

    high achievers
    "little adults" as children

    Secondborns and middle children tend to be:

    very amicable, having many friends
    secretive and supressing of feelings

    The Baby of The Family
    Youngest children tend to be:
    attention seeking

    I am a firstborn with one younger sister. i don't perceive myself as being very "firstborn" by that model. sort of a hodgepodge of all of them.

    how about you?

By agatha on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 02:28 am:

    i'm five of six kids. that description of second and middle children fits me pretty well.

By Pilate on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 05:52 am:

    I'm an only child. The description seems fairly accurate.

By Spider on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 08:54 am:

    I'm the first of two kids, and I act like a middle child.

By J on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 09:19 am:

    I'm the first of two kids,and I fit the first born description,but I'm also a virgo.

By Pug on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 10:16 am:

    You're right, droop----
    All psychology MUST be crap.

By droopy on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 10:23 am:

    well, i know that i'm a firstborn and that i'm unreliable, illogical, and i couldn't lead 8 ducks across a road.

    but i still want to know your friggin' birth order.

By Spider on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 10:29 am:

    You could lead the ducks if they had imprinted you as their mother.

    Not all psychology is crap, you jerks.

By sarah on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 10:30 am:

    technically, i'm an only child. though i've had plenty of older and younger step siblings come and go throughout my childhood and adult life.

By TBone on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 10:33 am:

    I'm a firstborn. Unless you count my stepbrothers, then I'm in the middle.

    But I didn't grow up with them.

    Reliable and Organized are just flat wrong.

By Dougie on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 10:37 am:

    I'm first born. I'm a perfectionist, I'm very reliable, I'm not very organized though, nor am I scholarly, nor very logical, nor a strong leader, but I do crave respect and approval.

By Pug on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 10:37 am:

    I'm a firstborn----but I'm not a perfectionist, I'm not necessarily organized, I'm not a strong leader, nor am I particularly logical. I MAY have been a "little adult", tho---and I may be secretive.
    So much for the psychological paint-by-numbers chart.
    Hey----I resemble that remark!

By Oswald Jr. on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 10:37 am:

    I am one of 11 children. And I am near the last, not the baby but close. My birth order depeans on if you count the dead or just living children. I had to look up amicable but I am that and I am secretive too. I am loyal.

By droopy on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 10:40 am:

    it's just an expression, spider. about the ducks.

    so's "all psychology is crap."

    firstborns can be so literal.

By Hal on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 11:15 am:

    I'm the first of 3, with the other 2 being younger sisters.

    And it fits almost perfectly.

By Spider on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 11:16 am:

    Bite me.

    No, listen. Where do you get the idea that psychology is crap? Self-help psychology, maybe. I'm talking "men are from mars.." / "I'm okay, you're okay" kinds of books, talk-show guests, etc., whose theories have no supporting empirical evidence.

    But clinical psychology = not crap. Cognitive psychology = not crap. Neuropsychology, social psychology, psychopharmacology = not crap.

    This is how psychology works. Researcher puts a whole bunch of people in a situation or gives them a test, and then the researcher measures their response. The results are the response. However people respond are the results. Is this clear enough for you?

    If 80% of the sample of first-born children respond in such a way on measures of temperament, then researchers conclude that there is a high correlation between being first-born and displaying certain temperamental traits. If I, a first-born, do not display such traits, it's not cuz psychology is crap; it could be that I fall within the 20% that do not display such traits. Or it could be that the test isn't sensitive enough. Or it could be that the original sample of the study wasn't random. None of these possibilities invalidates the entire field of psychology. So I don't want to hear it anymore unless you've got empirical (you got that? empirical, NOT anecdotal) evidence to support your claim. Otherwise, shut the fuck up.

By Dr. Oopy on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 11:29 am:

    you have no sense of humor about psychology, do you?

    i know your sleazing around here, nate. give me your birth order, give it to me good.

By patrick on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 11:31 am:

    aw shit....

    im the baby.

    and i could add a few items to that list for baby children.

By Spider on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 11:42 am:

    I don't find willful ignorance amusing, no.

By Czarina on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 12:29 pm:

    I respect you,Dougie.

    I'm a second child,and it fits me to a "T".

By droop on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 12:32 pm:

    i still want to hear people's birth order.

    add, subtract, divide - whatever you want, patricus.

By Dougie on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 02:05 pm:

    Thanks, Cz. And I you.

    Have a great Thanksgiving everybody. I'm off to Ohio.

By moonit on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 02:23 pm:

    high achievers - yep kinda
    self-motivated - yep kinda
    fearful - yes sometimes
    cautious - most of the time
    "little adults" as children - I am never going to grow up

By The Watcher on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 04:27 pm:

    An only child.

    I don't feel like a high achiever or much of a self motivator. Unless you concider being motivated to the old boob tube as being self-motivated.

    Psycology is not crap. Only psycologists. Of the several I've met personally, except for one, they have all been screwier than their patients.

    The only problems with psycology are:

    1. It's more art than science.

    2. Human beings are conducting the research/treatment.

By Cat on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 07:03 pm:

    I'm the baby of my family and I'd have to say I pretty much fit the model.

    Except my parents practically abandoned us and I was in a boarding school for a lot of my life so that probably stuffs up the entire thing. I know I'm probably more of a bloody endless high-achiever than any baby should be.

By pez on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 08:15 pm:

    elder of two girls.

    perfectionists- kinda sorta.
    reliable- guess so.
    organized- no.
    scholarly- sure.
    logical- maybe
    strong leaders- doubtful.
    seeking of respect and approval- getting less and less true, at least parent-wise.

    i began to do a birth chart once... it was pretty neat. sun sign aquarius, moon sign aquarius, ascendant cancer.

    i don't remember what it's supposed to mean, though.

By eri on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 10:08 pm:

    I saw a speaker on birth order, basically defining what the different aspects of what was said earlier can be true and how to interpret thost personality traits in each individual. It turned into a 4 hour question session afterward, and believe it or not, I got a lot of really useful information, not only on myself, or my kids (because of their age difference, they are both considered "only child"), but also about my mother (who I never understood). It can help you understand how people think and why they do things the way that they do. There is a lot more information on this subject to be had, and it is good information.

    I myself am a firstborn of two girls.

    perfectionist-yeah, I can tend to get pretty anal.
    reliable-too much so sometimes
    organized-to a fault
    logical-like a vulcan then again maybe it would be analytical that better describes me.
    strong leaders-my best career suit
    seeking of respect and approval-and always feeling like I am not good enough to get it.

    Unfortuntaley all of the different aspects of birth order help to explain at least 1/2 of the disfunction in my fun family.

    My baby sister is definately manipulative, attention seeking and tenacious. She is also a total pervert (does that count for affectionate?).

    Same goes for my mother, very charming on first impression. Then you get to know her.

    My girls have both been overacheivers since they were born (otherwise they wouldn't be here today) and haven't slowed down a bit. They have always been like little adults (in different ways).

    Funny how something can be so true, and make sense out of questions. This helps me to relate to them.

By eri on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 10:12 pm:

    One thing to remember on this "birth order" topic is that not all of you will be defined by what number child you are in birth order. Age difference also plays a role in defining your place in the birth order. Some things may not fit, because your age difference is great enough or small enough to put you in a different category. Just a little bit of info.

By Platypus on Wednesday, November 21, 2001 - 10:45 pm:

    I'm technically the baby, but my half sisters never lived with me, so I'm really an only child. I'm a mix of only child/firstborn according to the characteristics given above.

    I think birth order can have an effect, but other situational factors may be more important.

By Daniel ssss on Thursday, November 22, 2001 - 12:29 am:

    I'm technically an only child, but I am pretty certain my paternal donor fathered another boy younger than I am by a few years, with a red haired woman not my mother.

    And then there's the matter of his second wife bringing into my life two step sisters, both younger than I am, one of whom lived with me and the other stayed to take care of her alcoholic father.

    I have a baby pic of my half brother who is never talked about, and never seen, and I have never met, and would most likely be told by family that this skeleton ought to stay buried with my father.

    Come to think about it: I am never talked about, never seen, and my family (in New York) most likely has forgotten about...

    Haven't seen my little sister I lived with for nine years, and haven't seen her older sister with whom I have never lived...for at least twenty years.

    I have been the hero, the mascot, the rebel, and the lost child.I'm really an only child, and I am alone right now, and plan to stay that way.

    "Im Okay You're Okay" is the best thing since Jung. Transactional analysis is really quite helpful. The rest can be crap...

By semillama on Sunday, November 25, 2001 - 07:03 pm:

    I'm firstborn. not a perfectionist, not a strong
    leader, but yeah, otherwise.

    The thing to remmeber is that birth order is
    only one factor out of many that shape who
    you are and how you react. How you fit in the
    grade school pecking order probably has as
    much to do with your personality as birth
    order, in my opinion.

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