A BAD American!

sorabji.com: Who are you?: A BAD American!

By George Carlin on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 01:27 pm:

    I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

    I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

    I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

    I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.

    I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

    I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

    I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

    I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years plus of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

    I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.

    My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.

    I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

    I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

    I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?

    I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years In the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-Hell-up already.

    I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

    I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them.

    I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

    I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

    I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.

    I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.

    And what the hell is going on with gas prices... again?

    If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

    If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.

    We need our country back!

By kazu on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 01:38 pm:

By semillama on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 02:36 pm:

    welcome back, spunky?

By Spider on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 02:50 pm:

    Ha! That's what I thought, too.

By Gee on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 02:55 pm:

    I love snopes! Love, love, love! snopes, snopes, snopes!

    snopes.com helped me make my ex-boyfriend's father feel stupid!

    snopes.com helped me win the Urban Legends boardgame!

    snopes.com helped me feel superior to my brother's girlfriend!

    yay snopes.com!

By Spider on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 02:55 pm:

    "My heroes are John Wayne..."

    What did John Wayne do again? Oh, yeah, he was an actor. Did he ever fight in any wars? No. He pretended to be a soldier in movies. Real fucking heroic.

    Whoever wrote this bullshit is in line with the miserable subhuman son of a bitch who is quoted in this week's Time magazine as saying, regarding the Iraqi prisoner abuse, "I'm probably not the only one up at this table that is more outraged by the outrage than by the treatment."

By patrick on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 02:59 pm:

    Wayne was a fucking nasty drunk sumuvabitch.

    An asshole.

By Spider on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 03:23 pm:

    One more thing --

    If being being ignorant, racist, bigoted, and proud of it is being a BAD American, then yes, you are a BAD American.

By dave. on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 03:32 pm:

    you left out spiteful.

By semillama on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 03:46 pm:

    and lame.

By Rowlfe on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 03:52 pm:

    theres one of these fake things out there supposedly by Robin Williams as well

By TBone on Tuesday, May 18, 2004 - 07:05 pm:

    It sounds more like Dennis Leary than George Carlin.

By The Watcher on Wednesday, May 19, 2004 - 02:26 pm:

    It may not be George Carlin. But, some of it sure sounds like him.

    Have you seen any of his latest HBO specials?

By The Watcher on Wednesday, May 19, 2004 - 02:29 pm:

    I did see him perform live many years ago.

    At the long gone Painters Mill Music Fair. I think a BJ's now occupies the spot it used to be.

By semillama on Wednesday, May 19, 2004 - 02:37 pm:

    Watcher, did you look at the link Kazu posted? because it shows it's definitely NOT Carlin, and really doesn't even sound that much like him.

By The Watcher on Wednesday, May 19, 2004 - 04:46 pm:

    If you read what I posted you would know I said "some of it sounds like him". Emphasis on the word "some" and phrase "sounds like".

By semillama on Wednesday, May 19, 2004 - 05:23 pm:

    I did read what you wrote. You said "may not" as if there was a possibility that he wrote it. And he denied it, so there isn't.

By TBone on Wednesday, May 19, 2004 - 05:28 pm:

    I disagree. I really don't think any of it sounded like him. Some of it is stuff he maybe could have said, but none of it was really characteristic Carlin.

    I might have believed Leary, though. Because, well, he's an asshole.

    It's funny how these things evolve(!) as they get passed from email box to email box. Somebody changed the line from playing with toy guns to owning a gun, and added "it makes you a smart American."


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