Idle Americans Worst music you've ever heard: Idle Americans

By agatha on Thursday, March 13, 2003 - 07:09 pm:


    Okay, I'll start...

    Could there be any more pro-military propaganda surrounding the countrywesternjokersmilingdude on AI? Enough already, crazy Fox network execs!

By wisper on Thursday, March 13, 2003 - 09:22 pm:

    oh my god

    If you don't vote for him, the terrorists will have won!

    ha ha. I hate that dude. HATE him.

    but you know who i hate more? Fuckin Kimberly Bar Trash. Have you read her bio on the site? she simply has to die. Has to.

    anyhoo, i took NOTES this week!
    i'll talk about it tommorow!

By agatha on Thursday, March 13, 2003 - 10:58 pm:


    Damn you, now I'm going to have to go read her bio. Damn you!

By wisper on Friday, March 14, 2003 - 08:44 am:

    it's worse if you compare her bio to that of a good person's, like say, Pink Hair or Clay. Pink Hair is so cute it hurts me! didja see her pig?

By eri on Friday, March 14, 2003 - 11:17 am:

    Kimberly bar trash annoys the fuck out of me. She totally fucked that song on Tuesday night. It was like Mellissa Ethridge does motown, but doesn't have the class to try to get it right. Ugh.

    After reading that I totally went and read the bios. I can't believe I did that. Carmen Rasmusens bio bugged me, too, though I couldn't say why particularly. I am glad that Clay wasn't in the bottom three, though. I do wonder how long he will be able to hold out, though. I don't think he can make it to the end, but it would be nice if he did.

By agatha on Friday, March 14, 2003 - 05:33 pm:

    I think people love him! Have you noticed how loud everybody cheers when he performs?

    Haha- I totally pegged that Carmen was a mormon. I said that to Dave the first time she ever performed, and now I see that it's true. I am so savvy.

    I'm really sad that Vanessa got voted off. I liked her, too.

By wisper on Friday, March 14, 2003 - 06:43 pm:

    Vanessa got voted off?!

    shut the fuck up.

    I thought it was going to be Carmen, she blew so bad. Soooooo bad! She can't even sing courty well. Her face makes me want to punch her. Look at her, with that big hair and blank eyes. She doesn't even know where she is.

    VANESSA!! I will avenge thee!!!!

    Anyway, i like Motown because they might as well call it "Weed Out Whitey" night.
    Face it kids, we're just not built to sing like that. I know it, you should know it, that Motown dude totally knew it but he's too old and too nice and too rich to tell all the little crackers to stay the fuck away from his shit.

    Simon was dead on about good Kimberly. It did look like a Burger King commerical. She was pushing it too.
    She's good n all, but she just reminds me of how good Frenchie was. Imagine if Frenchie was there? She would have sang R-E-S-P-E-C-T, and blew the fucking roof off. Right off. ugh.

    Josh the Marine is a totall dickweed. He disgusts me with this husband/father/MARINE bullshit. But it's just the producers, i know it. He can sing okay, but not good enough to be where he is.

    Charles is a troll. That's all.

    Kimberly bar trash.... I HATE HER!!! Her and her damn truck. "Hi! I think I'm Pink 'cause she's my hero so i'll dress just like her on goddamn Motown night! Don't i look like shit? I'll wear black heels and khaki cargo pants, because I'm different! Just like Pink! And i have no sence of history! I'm also drunk!"

    Simon was also dead on about the vignettes. Americana, small town, "dream come true', shot of you at your highschool and the cute crappy sign they painted on the front, 'my Idol is my mom!', here's your dad just staring at the camera, your dog, quait shot of your house....i get it! Americana!

    I want Clay and Vanessa to get married. Clay was good. The ones who are good, are good, i don't need to talk about them.

    Carmen still sucks. This group is terribly weak compared to last year. Rickey is a loser, but he can sing. Julia is below average, and she has fish face. Corey's not quite cutting it.

    worst performance of the night: Simon in a Vanilla Coke commercial. Wtf is that? I used to respect him.

By wisper on Friday, March 14, 2003 - 06:48 pm:

    Carmen's Bio:
    What would people be surprised to learn about you?
    -I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

    that explains SO MUCH

By Rowlf on Friday, March 14, 2003 - 06:50 pm:

    ...well she is from Utah...

    I can't believe they fucking got rid of Vanessa.

By patrick on Friday, March 14, 2003 - 07:08 pm:

    this stupid shit got you too rowlf?

    god damn.

By Rowlf on Friday, March 14, 2003 - 07:35 pm:

    I appreciate it in an ironic level yes, much the same as wisper... the Tuesday show is very watchable, the Wednesday show isnt, and i dont watch it.

    Its certainly more watchable than Popstars. Popstars fucking blows on every level.

    There was this one show called "Supermodels" and for irony it blows any reality show out of the water. Get a bunch of teenage girls and the winner of the cut gets a very short term modelling contract. More fits, crying, fights over the telephone with family, self-hate from anorexic 16 year olds who think they're fat. It was amazing. You jump back and forth from pity, hate, just plain laughing at it... it that sense its what I imagine the Anna Nicole Smith show is like...

    Clay and Reuben are legitimately good... As for the rest of them, I find it fun to watch the same way I wont change the channel when that Creed "My Sacrifice" video is on. Watching the hand motions, the pulling in of all your holy rock power, the facial expressions, the pretentious sets... its incredible.

    Idol and Blind Date are probably the only shows I'll watch for irony's sake, save the occasional Christian TV show... Thats my junk food.

    Speaking of crazy Christian shows, you all need to visit - its even funnier than Bibleman.

    Christian ventriloquism. This show is beyond awful, its hilarious, and sometimes scary. She has this skit where she's on an adventure and the Bible is on fire because Christianity is "red hot". Read the puppet bios.

By wisper on Friday, March 14, 2003 - 07:54 pm:

    oh come on patrick, everyone loves a talent show.

By eri on Friday, March 14, 2003 - 07:57 pm:

    Ricky annoys me. I don't even like to listen to him sing. I think he sucks. The only ones I actually enjoy are Clay and Rueben. The rest all blow.

    I am so tired of watching them push the military service/family man shit with that one guy. "Vote for him and he'll save your ass during war" NOT. It's like emotional manipulation and it's fucking wrong.

    I couldn't believe simon in that stupid commercial. It was so lame. It would have been funny if he had some smart-assed thing to say, but he didn't even get that.

By wisper on Friday, March 14, 2003 - 08:41 pm:

    and i thought Paula was going to be the first one in a commercial. Seems like she'll suck any cock that's put in front of her.

    oh man, i can't belive i said that. That's mean. I'm sure she's a great person.

    and that video she did with the cartoon cat was cool, in it's time.

    you know what i notice with Randy? this year he's decided that simon got so much press, now he's going to mooch of whatever Simon says. Often if Simon goes before him, he'll just point at him and go "yeah, i agree with Simon" or "what Simon said".
    This is okay, because when Simon is cruel he's always right, but it just shows that Randy has no balls, or not enough to tell fresh-faced teens that they suck sorry ass on live tv.

    and he name drops too.
    Randy is useless.

By Rowlf on Friday, March 14, 2003 - 08:50 pm:

    I had a crush on Paula Abdul when I was younger...

By J on Saturday, March 15, 2003 - 11:39 am:

    I have a crush on Simon now...

By agatha on Saturday, March 15, 2003 - 01:10 pm:

    I heard somewhere recently that the filming of the last show was held up by the fact that one of the judges' faces was numb from botox treatments. Heh. I would have liked to see that.

    WTF is up with the applet they have changing the pictures on that website? How annoying!

By agatha on Saturday, March 15, 2003 - 01:11 pm:

    I forgot to mention that Journey singing Cory's bio made me pretty much not like him anymore. Boo, Cory!

By patrick on Saturday, March 15, 2003 - 09:19 pm:

    me too rowlf.

    talent shows are uncomfortable trainwrecks wisper.

By wisper on Sunday, March 16, 2003 - 09:44 pm:

    "uncomfortable trainwrecks "

    ..and YAY!!!

By moonit on Sunday, March 16, 2003 - 10:14 pm:

    How come they made them sing Motown style? How many more styles will they do? Will they do rock? Who will they bring in to 'celebrity' judge?

    Will they do techno/dance? That I'd love to see

    The Pandyr was really annoyed.

By eri on Sunday, March 16, 2003 - 10:34 pm:

    Every week they will have a different theme trying to test the various styles and ranges of "the contestants". Last year they did a 70's theme and an 80's theme and a big band theme and all kinds of shit like that, so I am sure it will be the same this time. This is the first time for the celebrity judges, though.

    I'd like to see one of those sucky chicks get up and sing one of Paula's old hits from the 80's and really fuck it up. That would be funny. Let's see Paula kiss their ass when they fuck up her songs!

By J on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 10:50 am:

    It was Simon with the botox according to the National Enquirer.

By agatha on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 12:11 pm:

    That's good. It was really fucking with me, the thought of Randy getting botox treatments.

    I have gotten about ten unsolicited emails from various people lauding the patriotism of Joshua Grayson. Barf.

By agatha on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 12:12 pm:

    Patrick, if you started watching this show, you would be true til the end.

By patrick on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 12:23 pm:

    no fucking way.

    id feel too bad.

    like i do when i litter.

    like i do when i dont vote.

    that kind of bad.

    how these shows can' exist in this current cultural climate is beyond me.

    yeah, ok, fine, im being uppity about it.

By jack on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 01:24 pm:

    you litter?

By patrick on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 01:32 pm:


    isnt that horrible of me?

    i dont like toss my empty fastfood bag out the window cruising down the blvd, but say im in a parking lot of a liquor store and unwrapping apack of smokes, sometimes i'll toss the plastic cellophane in the already nasty-ass parking lot. same with a ciggy butt.

    its a rare thing but sometimes, yes, i do litter in parking lots and city streets.

By wisper on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 05:41 pm:

    thank god, i thought you meant "litter" as in cat litter, and i couldn't really figure it out. Too many weird mental pics from that.....uhm..

    ...anyway, shame on you, litter boy!

By agatha on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 09:58 pm:

    I can't believe you litter. You should be ashamed of yourself.

By jack on Monday, March 17, 2003 - 10:18 pm:

    i applaud you for admitting it, patrick, but cut that out! you definitely know better. just because other people are mindless pigs doesn't mean you should be one, too.

By eri on Tuesday, March 18, 2003 - 08:17 am:

    In my insanity last night, I actually watched "Married By America". It was truly pathetic. All of the couples were insane in different ways. I wasn't aware that they were having a panel of "marriage experts" (two family/marriage psychotherapists and an old lady known for giving good advice in LA) and that they were going to eliminate couples so that only one gets married. Ugh. An hour of my life I will never get back and I will probably end up watching it hoping that none of the couples work out and they all end up breaking their engagements.

By patrick on Tuesday, March 18, 2003 - 11:35 am:

    i dunno jack, i dont want my liquor store to be all clean and neat. i want it cruddy, shitty and slightly scary.

    libraries, yes, clean as whistles.

    liqour stores? filthy with puke, empty bottles and ciggy butts.

By eri on Tuesday, March 18, 2003 - 11:53 am:

    I don't know about filthy with puke, but I do like hole in the wall type liquer stores. The dirty walls and ciggy butts in bud light ashtrays and cheap booze.

    Small electronics stores that the shelves are covered in a 3 in layer of dust.

    I miss the drug stores with the ice cream stands in the front and you could get a double scoop cone for like 50 cents. I used to go to them all of the time in high school.

By semillama on Wednesday, March 19, 2003 - 12:12 am:

    The bar I went to tonight is the one that the Marine guy sang karaoke at before he went to the show. His family comes in and sets up pictures of him and they have a banner up while the show is on. His family is pretty scary, they conform to what you sort of expect a military family to look like: One seriously pregnant chick, one guy obviously the dude's brother, one seriously obese woman, a couple blonde kids, and a few other nondescript folks.

    The bar is called the "Jolly Roger" and has crappy food and poor beer selection.

By eri on Wednesday, March 19, 2003 - 12:28 pm:

    He sang all country last night. I DON'T LIKE country music (yes that is an understatement) so I thought he blew chunks. I am waiting for Wisper's review of last nights show!

By wisper on Wednesday, March 19, 2003 - 06:19 pm:

    the pressure!!!

    no time to type it tonight, but sweet mercifull crap did Bar Trash suck.
    I mean, DAAAAAM.
    Paula didn't even have anything nice to say.

    and Carmen too, the poor clueless child. She sucked the Botox right out of Simon's chin.

    (in an interesting co-incidence, Rowlf bought one of the classic Muppet Show tapes last night. One episode had Linda Ronstadt singing 'It's In His Kiss', same song that Bar Trash sang, and we watched it right after AI was over. Now i think we can all agree that that song is stupid and silly at best, however coming from a REAL singer, you'd never know.)

By Rowlf on Wednesday, March 19, 2003 - 06:20 pm:

    holy crap young Linda Ronstadt is HOT.

By semillama on Wednesday, March 19, 2003 - 07:42 pm:

    How do you two know each other?

By eri on Wednesday, March 19, 2003 - 10:17 pm:

    Charles Grigsby is gone. Julia DeMato, Charles Grigsby and Corey (don't know his last name) were in the bottom three. Simon and Paula got into a big argument over whether or not Corey belonged on the bottom three. Frankly I thought that Corey sucked ass. I wished he was gone. They let Julia DeMato go back first and I thought Cool, Corey's gonna eat it, but it was Charles. Kimberly bar trash was all over him as he was singing his final farewell song. It was pathetic, as well as her curly, look at me I'm a wannabe biker chick hair do.

By agatha on Wednesday, March 19, 2003 - 10:50 pm:


By eri on Wednesday, March 19, 2003 - 11:28 pm:

    Sorry, I didn't realize they still hadn't showed it everywhere. I just found that out from my cousin. Sorry.

By agatha on Thursday, March 20, 2003 - 07:10 pm:

    I can't believe they ditched Charles but kept Julia D'amato. Where is the justice?

    Sure, he licks his lips too much, but that smile! And that voice! And his mom weeping on TV! It's just too much to bear.

By eri on Thursday, March 20, 2003 - 08:17 pm:

    I can't believe that Julia DeMato is still there. She needs to go. So does Kimberly bar trash. Carmen gets on my nerves, too.

    The only ones that don't get on my nerves are Reuben and Clay. Still, Charles was immeasurably better than half of the idiots up there.

By wisper on Saturday, March 22, 2003 - 03:42 pm:

    Sorry for the lateness. I’ve been too bummed to do much lately, and not even criticizing wanna-be divas can bring me up. What’s the point when innocent girls are getting run over by bulldozers, and no one is even covering it?
    I’ve been pretty messed up this week. Not a good week. Much teary-eyes and sighing. The futility of human existence is sinking in. I dunno.
    But, American Idol makes me happy. And writing about it makes me happy. And even if no one else reads this but eri and agatha, and it makes you guys smile, well, that’s my part I guess.

    I admit it, i had no plans Wednesday evening and caught a clip or two from the result show. Even with nothing else on i couldn't bother to watch it, i don't care for the bullshit drama. Or the tease of seeing 3 losers get pulled off, then have 2 get to go back. It's like x-mas morning if you woke up and found you only got to keep a third of your gifts!
    But what i did see was pathetic to say the least, that cheesy house tour (I think they should call it "the Idol compound") and yet another clip trip of how the old losers are doing. And not the top five losers like at the beginning of the season, but the 2nd string losers. People i don't even have nick names for, that's how useless they were.
    This marked the return of Ryan. Ryan, that fucking twit.
    I forgot about her. She makes Bar Trash look like… well, slightly less trashy. I always loved how she insisted on wearing “her own designs” on the show. Her clothes were GOD AWFUL, often consisting of nothing more than a ripped tube top and some old belts tied to her arms. Like a hooker with no money. I can just imagine her taking them around the fashion world. That in itself would be a remarkable reality show. One day she’ll take them to Fredrick’s Of Hollywood, and they’ll say: sorry kid, those clothes are just too trashy for our clientele .

    Ruben- HOT DAMN. Barry White is watching his ass right now! I think i could hear the sound of 10 thousand panties wetting in unison, and from a mere Disney song too.

    Clay- clay, clay, clay. He picked the song from American Tale! He's such a sweety. But so music theater. That's his problem. He'd look too right in a Technicolour Dreamcoat. He's like Broadway Idol. Cuuute!

    Tyrece / Trenyce / Whatserfuck - see, this chick is good, but something's off. She just obviously doesn't need this contest.
    Also, she's all voice, no personality. She's so flaky. Boring. Plain old pretty, and not at all intriguing or sexy or cute or witty or anything else. She's just THERE, somehow nailing Whitney Houston songs dead-on, but i don't want to watch her. And that red dress was naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasty.

    good Kimberly- i'm over her. Blah. I don't remember what she sang, she's not memorable.
    Neither is Cory. Yawn.

    Carmen- i don't know what it is with her, but she keeps blowing it. Someone should tell her and Major Dad that the country music version of Idol is on another station. And i don't watch it.

    Speaking of Major Dad- whatever. i give up. Country music is where i just throw my hands up and back away slowly. Also, admitting that you've not only watched Armageddon, but took the time to memorize that shit is just sad.
    Okay, sure, that song was overplayed so that no one within 20 miles of a tv or radio could help but memorize it, i know the words too, but you don't PICK something that overplayed.
    So fuck you very much for making me hear it again, buddy.

    'Hercules'- he can sing n all, but he's such a loser. So lame. When he's not singing he's annoying the fuck out of me.

    Fish Face- in her infinite wisdom, picks the song from Flashdance and then DRESSES LIKE A STRIPPER TO MATCH. And not just any old stripper, but a big-hair, leg warmers, ripped sweat top 80's stripper. Classy. She's not thinking, is our little fish face.

    Bar Trash- who is voting for her and WHY?? She's not attractive enough to have a cult following, is obviously a shitty singer, and has proven to be an all-out bitch on more than one occasion. Don't get me wrong, i'm not afraid that she'll win or anything, it just keeps me wondering. Simon was so right when he said she was theme-park caliber. She'll be on ice in a Minnie Mouse costume in 5 years time, no doubt. And Carman will play Pluto.
    Scratch that, i don't think Carmen has the dexterity to skate.

    i now officially present my week 5 (isn't it?) run-down, listed from Rule down to Suck:

    1 Ruben
    2 Clay
    3 Trynece
    4 Kimberly
    5 'Hercules'
    6 Cory
    7 GI Suck
    8 Fish Face
    9 Bar Trash
    10 Carmen
    11 Charles the cave troll

    and I’ll just add agin how damn useless Randy is being. Really, he has nothing constructive to say, and throws the word “dawg” around like it brings him closer to the kids or something.
    Also, they need a celebrity guest who will actually tear them apart! More tearing, less petting!

By eri on Saturday, March 22, 2003 - 05:47 pm:

    That was great. When Treynce or whatever the fuck her name is was on all I could do was say "Honey, look at that dress" and then together we yelled "EEEEEWWWWWW" so loud the kids came running out of their rooms to see what we were yacking about.

    I thought it was so right on when Simon said he could see Kimberly in a theme park. It immediately reminded me of Six Flags last summer with this chick singing the Macarena and I totally saw Bar Trash doing exactly that.

    Fish face sucked swamp water this week. You can't sing that song without energy and she just didn't have ANY energy.

By eri on Saturday, March 22, 2003 - 05:48 pm:

    Oh, I was in "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" two years ago. Or was it three? I don't even remember now. I would totally love it if I were on stage singing background to Clay, but I think he would be better than that. He could do Broadway. He rocks.

By J on Sunday, March 23, 2003 - 10:33 am:

    I like Clay too,for some reason the song Somewhere Out There always makes me cry.And Whisper you are so right on about Ryan,you cracked me up:)

By eri on Sunday, March 23, 2003 - 02:28 pm:

    I always just despised Ryan. I didn't see her on Tuesday night, must have been on the toilet. Wouldn't that be appropriate, when Ryan is on tv I am taking a shit!

By J on Wednesday, March 26, 2003 - 10:10 am:

    I can't stand that Ryan Seacrest either,who is he?Where the hell did he come from? More importantly who dresses him? What happened to the guy that was his partner with him last year? The normal one,I think his name was Brian Dunkleman or something.Anyway I had another Simon dream last night this time I walked in on him and Ryan Seacrest doing the nasty,but I couldn't stand Ryan before I had the dream.Remember when Ruben and his brother had him in a sandwich hold and he started carrying on about them making his finger bleed? Pussy.

By J on Wednesday, March 26, 2003 - 11:26 am:

    And is my head just always in the gutter or does this sound as nasty to you as it did to me. I was trying to find something on t.v. Saturday morning and saw the title Mary-Kate and Ashley in Action,it's a cartoon of those Olson twins on the Disney channel,but it sounds like a porn movie to me.

By eri on Wednesday, March 26, 2003 - 11:56 am:

    When I saw the ad for it on Disney, I thought the same thing.

    Maybe they will name their next one Mary-Kate and Ashley getting action!!!!

    Oh, that was bad, sorry.

    Brian Dunkleman (the one that didn't fucking annoy me) left the show, because his dream was to do stand up comedy or be on a comedy show. He felt that doing AI was distracting him from what he really wanted, so he went back to comedy. Good for him, but bad for AI, cuz Brian Seacrest sucks!

    Last nights show sucked all around. Of course, I didn't expect Rueben or Clay to do country music well, and they did as well as they could, but damn, everyone sucked last night. Especially fish face. WTF was up with her trying so damned hard and sucking so damned bad?!?!?!?!

By Rowlf on Wednesday, March 26, 2003 - 05:04 pm:

    I thought they just dumped Brian... he didnt do anything, and Ryan totally hammed it up and hogged the screen.. Brian couldnt get a word in at all... plus he looked like a Hobbit.

    Reuben has this thing won... Clay is still good but last night wasnt up to his standard... I dont know if a full album of Clay would be listenable in the style they would probably write for him... Rueben could have a varied pop/r&b album, could even do rock songs...

By eri on Wednesday, March 26, 2003 - 07:14 pm:

    I want to hear Clay sing some Rick Astley.

    I think I could handle a whole CD of him, but I do think that Reuben has this thing won. None of the girls are up to par.

    I read something today that said all of the top 3 get recording contracts, but none of last years contestants have theirs out yet and may have missed the window to success.

    If both Reuben and Clay were in the top three, I might actally buy those CD's. I almost never buy cd's anymore.

By eri on Wednesday, March 26, 2003 - 09:40 pm:

    I won't give it away this week. All I have to say is damn.

    Their version of "God Bless the USA" was kinda lame to say the least, but they cried so I guess they meant what they sang.

By Rowlf on Thursday, March 27, 2003 - 05:07 pm:

    whenever I see them sing together, I cant help but think of anything but the Mini Pops. Fucking Mini Pops. Way to pave the way for the A-Teens..

By eri on Thursday, March 27, 2003 - 05:46 pm:

    Don't forget the S Club !!!!!

    Hayley is totally into A Teens and S Club. It bugs me to no end. Happy go lucky soda pop crap. But yeah, they do make you think of them.

By wisper on Thursday, March 27, 2003 - 06:22 pm:

    you poor, poor woman.

    I don't even know if there's anything to say about this week. Nothing like country to make everyone sound like shit!
    Damn. Really, nothing to say. I felt just like Simon- no idea what was going on. I can honestly say that was the worst and most boring AI ever.
    Even Ruben only gave a pretty good show, but he did the best he could.
    yeah. painfull.

    I hope Major Dad leaves next, he was so into it with his little hat.... fuck it was pathetic. And Corey looked JUST LIKE MILLI VANNILI. And Bar Trash sucked it up hard. And Julia, well, what the hell was that. Picking such a powerfull song she could not handle at all.

    blah. what a shitty show.

By eri on Thursday, March 27, 2003 - 06:36 pm:

    Well, it was close, Julia, and Bar Trash as the final two. Julia's gone. Damn, I just wanted them both gone. I wanted it to be a tie so that they both went home. Then they showed bar trash crying and I mean totally blubbering. It was one of the ugliest things I have ever seen. Her face all puffy and red. Ugh. That was just nasty. I wonder if bar trash was crying because her "buddy" got voted off or because she came so close to going home and didn't see that coming. She is just a little full of herself.

    Corey sucked ass and definately looked like Milli Vanilli.

    The whole show all I did was sit there and scream "No....Don't do it....Don't ruin that song".

    And when they sang "Proud to be an American" (twice) both times corporal dork shit of the marines started the song with the line about starting over with just his children and his wife and all I could think is that this kid is really trying hard to play the image card and it is bullshit. He isn't the perfect Dad, he's still a kid himself. Christ, don't get me started on this dipshit.

    I will end my rant now.

By J on Thursday, March 27, 2003 - 07:35 pm:

    Bar trash was definately crying for herself,she reminded me of Tammy Faye Baker and it was pathetic,no pride what so ever.I was cracking up. On another note,after posting about my dream I saw in the Enquier that night that Simon had Ryan imply that Simons assistant is his girlfriend to dispel rumors that he's gay,hmmmm. So I did an internet search and find out he and Ryan Seacrest went on holiday together.

By eri on Thursday, March 27, 2003 - 08:32 pm:

    They talked about him and Ryan Seacrest going on vacation together on the show on Tuesday night. I thought it was just plain sad, since I can't stand Ryan. He annoys the shit out of me. Yep he is so bad he annoys my shit!

By wisper on Thursday, March 27, 2003 - 09:58 pm:

    Randy said 'dawg' at least 15 times on tuesday.

    i'm counting now.

By spunky on Thursday, March 27, 2003 - 10:10 pm:

By eri on Thursday, March 27, 2003 - 11:28 pm:

    I call bullshit. I mean they canned Frenchie and she was a lead pick to win, because she answered the phone for some porn thing. Fuckers. This chick has got to go for the same reason!!!!!!! I hate hypocracy in reality tv!!!

By spunky on Monday, March 31, 2003 - 12:57 pm:

By eri on Monday, March 31, 2003 - 02:19 pm:

    Who knows? I don't. Then again, I always said that Corey was a loser. I bet that Clay's background check is clean as a whistle!

By spunky on Monday, March 31, 2003 - 02:00 pm:

    you never know, sometimes the recuiters have lawyers up their sleaves that can take care of just about anything

By semillama on Monday, March 31, 2003 - 03:03 pm:

    THat givesme an idea - what would really spice up all these reality shows is that the losers have to sign up for a four year stint in the military.

    Then after four years, they come back and compete again. This would be especially interesting in shows such as Fear Factor (for obvious reasons) and Joe Millionaire (simlply to see the ladies take his punk ass out)

By eri on Monday, March 31, 2003 - 03:20 pm:

    Do the same for AI, make them go to singing boot camp where they have to work, hard and then have them come back to see if they have talent and have ability or are the same as they were before.

By wisper on Monday, March 31, 2003 - 06:31 pm:

    i spent so much on clothes at the army surplus store this weekend that the owner threw in some stuff for free. And one guy thought i worked there.
    It's so simple buying clothes when you're me. One good army store is like an entire mall.
    New boots!!!

    i'm not surprised about Corey. I can so see him doing that.

By moonit on Monday, March 31, 2003 - 07:09 pm:

    Why did that girl change her name?

    I am so the Queen of American Idol Gossip thanks to you guys. I just forward those links to a heap of kiwis. heh.

    And I've taken to using wispers names for them (thanks)

By agatha on Monday, March 31, 2003 - 07:28 pm:


    I always thought that Corey was a shmuck, but I did like the song he sang last week, as well as when he rocked the Journey mike. I'm so ashamed.

By wisper on Monday, March 31, 2003 - 09:45 pm:

    fish face is gone?
    thank god that's over. I just felt sorry for her, she obviously knew she was in way over her head, and was scared as hell. She looked scared all the time, anyway.

    Gosh, Bar Trash blubbering it up and crying like a little bitch. Sweet. That would have made my week. The pretentious cow.

    Moonit! what name do you call Josh the Marine? Jokerface? Major Dad or G.I. Suck ???

    I flipped through this Entertainment Weekly thing about the show, and the reporter stayed with the contestants for the first week. It was very interesting. Like (get this) since Carmen was under 18, everyone else shares the big rooms in the compound mansion except her. She gets to share her room..... with her parents!!! What a rockin' time she must be having.
    Not that she would notice.

By eri on Monday, March 31, 2003 - 10:13 pm:

    That must fucking SUCK ASS!!! I couldn't imagine sharing with my parents even at 17. God even at 17 I didn't live in their house. Unless you count my apartment on their ranch living in their house. Damn.

    Watching Bar Trash blubber like that was actually horrifying. I thought it would be humorous, but I was scared. I didn't think she could actually look THAT BAD, even though she isn't all that, it was scary how horrible she looked, like fat rolls all over her pocky face. It was so nasty.

    I just didn't like Corey. I didn't like his version of the song last week, but maybe it is just because it is one of those songs I think can only be done right the first time. I dunno.

    I don't like most of them so who cares.

By eri on Tuesday, April 1, 2003 - 00:16 pm:

    They booted Corey!!!! They kicked his ass off of the show, just like Frenchie!!!! Said that he hadn't disclosed it in the interview and a crime this violent would have hurt him during the interview process and he might not have made it on the show at all! Hehehe. Jackass!

    And now there are 8. I wonder if it will effect tonights show since they just decided to boot him last night?!?!?!?!

By moonit on Tuesday, April 1, 2003 - 03:07 pm:

    Oh my god - you are the Queen of Idol goss Eri.

    We call the Marine 'Army Boy' but you have to say boy in a fake down home country american accent.

    Right must email the corey goss on... : )

By eri on Tuesday, April 1, 2003 - 03:46 pm:

    I just happened to stumble across that one this morning, but laughed my ass off. So there you go, unintentional gossip!

By J on Tuesday, April 1, 2003 - 05:25 pm:

    I just want to see what Seacrap wears so I can rip about it.

By eri on Tuesday, April 1, 2003 - 05:40 pm:

    I think I am going to have to drink massive quantities of alcoholic beverages before I can sit through tonights show!

    I went to the website to see if they had put anything up there about Corey leaving the show and went to the bio page (it just says disqualified 4-1-03) and Micki looked up the pictures and said "Momma I don't like that bar trash! She's nasty." I just laughed my ass off. Then she pointed at the picture of Clay and said "I want him to win". That's my girl!!!!!

By wisper on Tuesday, April 1, 2003 - 06:08 pm:

By J on Wednesday, April 2, 2003 - 11:02 pm:

    I think Kimberly Locke did really well last night the best of the women,Ruben was smooth as usual and did I hear Ryan Seacrap call himself a disco queen?

By eri on Wednesday, April 2, 2003 - 02:05 pm:

    I thought seacrap called himself the disco diva, but close enough either way.

    Kimberly Locke didn't impress me. I think it was her outfit,it annoyed the fuck out of me.

    Bar Trash was exactly the same as always and it was cool to watch Paula give her shit.....Paula diplomatically telling her she needs to change her look, her style and her singing cuz it is all exactly the same fucking thing! It was hillarious.

    Ruben was his typical smooth self. Clay did pretty good. Hercules sucked ass and swallowed it was so bad. My ears cried when he was done. Treynce did another Whitney Houston song and bored me.

    I think that Simon and Randy were both right on last night when they said that Disco has been done sooooooo many times karaoke that you have heard and heard and heard these songs over and over and over again until you are sick of hearing it done again, no matter who is singing it.

By moonit on Wednesday, April 2, 2003 - 02:44 pm:

    I thought last week Paula said that Bar Trash always changed her look and congratulated her on it.

    For fucks sake.

    Uh is it true that Carmen's parents _paid_ the producers to get her in the competition?

By eri on Wednesday, April 2, 2003 - 04:11 pm:

    Bar trash was wearing some black knicker looking pants that were all baggy and reminded me of a pirate, some gold heels that laced up her legs to the bottom of the knee where they met her god awful pants, a huge nasty ass gold belt and then this ugly ass black shirt that look like she had fat rolls coming out the back it was so tight. Ugh, she just looked as shitty as ever. Cheap, shitty, bar trash.

    Paula said that her consitencies were her flaws and that she sounds the same all of the time and that one performance looks exactly the same as the next or the last. It was funny watching her go through this whole speel and bar trash kept trying to interrupt her and what not. God, I was laughing my ass off.

    I don't know about Carmen's parents. That is a new one to me.

By agatha on Wednesday, April 2, 2003 - 07:21 pm:

    Marineboy was by far the most horrendous last night. He looked like a fat man trying to dance at a wedding. It hurt.

    I think they should let someone else back in to make up for Corey. Maybe Vanessa, since they fucked her up with that terrible scripted line about the trained monkey or whatever.

    Can anyone define what was so bizarre about mister Earth Wind and Fire's face? The man's got crazyface! Also, since when are Earth Wind and Fire disco? All wrong, these yahoo producers are.

    Good- Ruben, Kimberly Locke, Trenyce.
    Mediocre, but not bad- Clay, Carmen.
    Baaaadddd- Ricky, Marineboy, Bartrash.

    Thus completes my AI disco night review.

By agatha on Wednesday, April 2, 2003 - 07:22 pm:

    Oh, and my boot prediction for this evening is, sadly, our kind young man Ricky Smith, followed closely by Tammy Fae Bartrash.

By agatha on Wednesday, April 2, 2003 - 07:38 pm:

    Oh, and while I'm at it, here is a list of annoying mannerisms:
    *Clay's silent "thank you" when the judges tell him how great he is (last night, he did a combo "thank you" and wink!)
    *Ruben's arm pump
    *Trenyce's tiny wave
    *Paula's "clapping while avoiding breaking my nails" technique
    *Simon's "sorry" shrug-smirk
    *Almost everyone's finger-holding-upping when they announce that person's voting number

    That's all I can think of at the moment.

By Rowlf on Wednesday, April 2, 2003 - 07:48 pm:

    none of those things are half as annoying as the way Bar Trash responds to the judges...

    'thank you for that wonderful piece of constructuve criticism'
    'what a wonderful comment! I will take that into consideration!"

    FER SURE!!!!!

    Clay is getting annoying...

    I hate it when the singer is performing and you see a crowd shot and you can tell that Paula is standing up and dancing. I just laugh and grind my teeth.

By wisper on Wednesday, April 2, 2003 - 09:30 pm:

    OH MY GOD.

    a week of my life, WASTED.

    that is fucking bullshit.
    i can't believe it.
    i sat through disco for this.

    see? this shit is why i don't watch the re-cap show.


By eri on Wednesday, April 2, 2003 - 09:50 pm:

    No shit. First I was totally suprised to see who was in the bottom three, wishing in vain that Hercules and Bar Trash were in there. We got to see about rumours of Bar Trash and dorky under aged didn't get into the top ten guy. Ugh. Like I even want to concider Bar Trash and sex, the thought grosses me out completely. Then they have the bottom two perform.....sucking ass both of them....and then they say no one leaves but the votes will be added to next weeks votes. Fuck them all!!!

By wisper on Thursday, April 3, 2003 - 09:09 am:

    my tuesday is blown unless i get to see some prima donna bawling his/her eyes out.


By J on Thursday, April 3, 2003 - 09:46 am:

    That dude from Earth, Wind and Fire,his hair doesn't become him,he has a wierd head,he should wear a hat or something,maybe a bag over his head.

By eri on Thursday, April 3, 2003 - 00:05 pm:

    Don't forget the pretty ruffles on his see thru shirt! Ugh. He looked like a drag queen who forgot the cosmetics!

    I still feel cheated that no one got kicked off of the show last night, since they let Corey go. Sucks.

By wisper on Friday, April 4, 2003 - 11:39 am:

    well, lets not speak of what happened with the voting. I will call it 'the nastiness'.

    Let's go!

    So Corey got the boot. I loved his goodbye thing, that was hillarious. Such sincerity from someone who screwed his whole group in the first cut by partying when he should have been practicing. I wish they had played his appology & goodbye overtop of the footage of him getting loaded and falling of the mechanical bull.

    ricky- BLAH. Whenever he opens his mouth and doesn't start singing, i shudder.
    Does he have some kind of mental deficiancy? for real? that would explain the way he speaks. The fake afro fails to impress me. I even forget what he sang. He is filler.

    Carmen- this was slightly less bad than usual! Paula said it was her best performance yet. Unfortunately, her best was the worst of the night, so go home kid! And take your amazingly forced singing with you! Could you believe the way she sang that song? Like a constipated robot?


    push, push, push, suck suck suck.
    And she went and got fake hair. And if there's one thing i hate, it's fakeass hair. Fake hair=my hate.

    Bar Trash- for the love of god, what was she wearing?! that metal armband looked like it was going to give at any second. She was dressed like a big ole' cougar disco genie. From the 80's.
    See ya at Coyote Ugly!
    Her- 5 years, 5 kids, bartender. No question.
    She's always the damn same. Why was Paula giving her so much advice? with so many big words? like 'texture'?

    Clay- love that shirt! I'm starting not to care. He's going all stage drama on me. He can sing like fuck but there's a thin line between consistancy and monotony. He's all Broadway. He should go there.
    Randy gave him *3* 'dawg's!

    Trynece- hey! she can sing Whitney Houston songs! Who would have guessed? She's not every woman, she's one woman, a thinner, younger whitney wanna be. Does she own more than one CD? One that isn't Whitney Houston's Greatest Hits..?
    At least she always dresses appropriate to the theme. I'll give her that. And she can sing, but whether she can sing something not recorded by whitney has yet to be proven.

    Ruben- stellar as always. Simon states the obvious in that he should win.

    Kim- hey she finally found her genre! Good for her. Nice.
    (this also marks the first time i've ever heard "it's raining men" past the chorus)
    (you'd think i've been to Gay Day enough, but...)

    Joshua Gracin, American- Oh my. That was garbage.

    All together, a painful, painful show.
    Randy's final "dawg" count: 15 times.


    so i caught the re-cap show whilst eating my birthday pizza. I spent the whole night madly painting something in time to FedEx it off for this, and so it was my only break. Why must they ruin my night like that?! And that fucking 'Carwash' video, gawd!
    And then... shots of them recording that AWFUL, LOWLY, INSULTING, BILE-THROWING, CANDY COATED SHITPILE of a war song. My god, i thought i was going to be sick.
    And how Josh starts off with the shit about his kid, and that line about "we're so glad to be standing free" and then...
    no, i can't even express it.
    And then the shot of them all huddled around the big stage's video screen, watching Bush give his fucking if.....
    My blood went cold. For real.
    Am i in the 1940s? Is this a damn USO show? Is fuckin Betty Boop going to come out in a bomber uniform, selling cigarettes?
    "Their minds may be here at American Idol, but all of our contestant's hearts are with the troops overseas"
    All of it, just so totally uncalled for.


    anyway, Bart Trash and that 3rd round loser, an item?
    Think of the beautiful, pretentious children they'd have! All 6 of them!

By eri on Friday, April 4, 2003 - 00:12 pm:

    "Bart Trash and that 3rd round loser, an item?
    Think of the beautiful, pretentious children they'd have! All 6 of them!"

    While he is making $19,000 a year as a construction worker dreaming of being Joe Millionaire and she is working as a bartender at a cheesy karaoke bar and none of the regulars EVER ask her to sing cuz she sux so bad, not to mention the 60 lbs she gained per child so that those fat rolls we saw on her face while she was blubbering were no longer able to be hidden behind youth and make-up.

    On another note.....up there somewhere someone was talking about the crappy Pepsi commercial that Simon did saying that they thought Paula would be the first sell out.......Paula WAS the first sell out.

    Cosmetic "artist" Alexis Vogel to the stars has now put out her own line with her 20 years of experience. Blah blah, they all look just like frickin Pamela Anderson. Anyways, they made an infomercial on it. Apparently Ms. Vogel did all of the make-up work for AI 1. Paula did a piece wearing the shitty make-up and having the big bar 80's hair teased to the ceiling, just praising how wonderful Alexis is and her work is. She was the first sell out, it is just an infomercial instead of a commercial!

By wisper on Friday, April 4, 2003 - 06:17 pm:

    i knew it.
    she's too washed-up to have anything more than an infomercial.

By dave. on Friday, April 4, 2003 - 07:17 pm:

    happy birthday, wisper.

By wisper on Friday, April 4, 2003 - 07:34 pm:

    dave is paying attention!

    :)thank you

    what wisper got for her birthday:
    -a very sweet painting
    -big plush Hamtaro doll
    (beware: Hamtaro is so cute, sometimes it becomes physically painful)
    -the "Get Your War On" book
    -a Tim Horton's Coffee cake, all to myself

    and nothing else yet, as weekday birthdays are lame with lack of celebration.

By eri on Friday, April 4, 2003 - 08:03 pm:

    Happy birthday! Sorry, but I didn't know! Micki loves Hamtaro so much that she asked for one for Christmas and named her hamster........
    Can you believe this.......

    It's hamtaro time......hamtaro.....when we work together it's much best friend...we like sunflowers seeds for breakfast....whatever....little hamsters big adventures...HAMTARO!

    Yeah, I left a lot out, but dinner is burning!

    God, I need a life!

By kazoo on Friday, April 4, 2003 - 08:12 pm:

    Happy Birthday Wisper.

    I don't pay attention to anything anymore.

    It's nothing personal.

    I like hamtaro, except I prefer my cute things to look a little cranky...badtz-maru

By spunky on Friday, April 4, 2003 - 08:25 pm:

    Good lord, I am sorry wisper.
    Happy birthday

By J on Tuesday, April 8, 2003 - 03:24 pm:

    I just got back online about an hour ago and am trying to catch up, Whisper Happy Belated Birthday Sweetcheeks.And good luck on your entry:)

By wisper on Tuesday, April 8, 2003 - 06:28 pm:

    aww jeez guys, that's sweet of y'all.
    i don't expect you to know or remember my birthday. ;)

    Hamtaro's been here for a week now, and still cute as pie. He's so cute, he makes Hello Kitty look like a big pile of shit.

    bring on the Idols tonight!! whoop-whoop!

By agatha on Tuesday, April 8, 2003 - 07:10 pm:

    Happy birthday, aries baby! So many dang aries in my life...

By spunkydingo on Tuesday, April 8, 2003 - 09:05 pm:

    Eri's in on the 20th

By moonit on Wednesday, April 9, 2003 - 11:54 am:

    The Pandyr turns 29 on Friday.
    I've bought him a present, but I'm not sure about it. He asked me to buy him a bike tire last week when he was drunk, but says he doesn't want one now. Boys are hard to buy for.

By spunkydingo on Wednesday, April 9, 2003 - 00:28 am:

    naw, just buy something with four letters in it
    food or beer

By dave. on Wednesday, April 9, 2003 - 01:33 am:

    gift tip:

    buy him something he would buy for himself, but wouldn't have to if you got it for him instead.

    if he's a geek, buy him 100 blank cds, a big memory stick for his camera, a good pc sound system or a kickass sound card or video card, an 80 gig hard drive (can't have too many of those), a processor upgrade. you may have to drop some casual questions to make sure you're getting him something he can use -- what's the fastest processor that thing can use? is that a good sound card? what would be your dream card? or, get him a gift certificate to a computer store.

    if he likes music, get him a gift certificate to a good music store.

    gift certificates ROCK.

By J on Wednesday, April 9, 2003 - 11:30 pm:

    Get him a steak and a blow job:)

By patrick on Wednesday, April 9, 2003 - 00:04 pm:

    id advocate the memory stick and a good tit fuck.

    but im in a weird place these days.

By eri on Wednesday, April 9, 2003 - 00:40 pm:

    Did anyone actually watch that show last night? It was awful. They all sucked (except Ruben).

By moonit on Wednesday, April 9, 2003 - 03:52 pm:

    heh best I don't say what I gave him this morning then. I did buy him something I know he wants but won't buy for himself, but I want to get him something else. *I just feel like I need something else.

    *Unless you're a kiwi you won't get that last line. Bad commercial.

By Spider on Wednesday, April 9, 2003 - 04:00 pm:

    Hmph. I want to be a kiwi, too.

By wisper on Wednesday, April 9, 2003 - 06:30 pm:

    Randy's 'dawg' count: 7 (?!) He seemed to favour "baby" this week, equaly as disturbing.

    It's Billboard Hits week! Thousands of songs to choose from! Thousands of songs to slaughter!

    Clay- emotionless. Whatever.

    Kim- WEAK. Passionless. Also, i was just thinking that i haven't heard this song enough, and then BAM! she kicks into "My Heart Will Go On". I never thought i'd prefer to hear Celine but....oh well.

    Ricky- that pandering motherfucker! twice in a row he picked songs by the guest judge. What a tool. He'll be that guy in the background of an r&b ballad that does the high-pitched begging, you know, like in Boyz 2 Men? : "baby! baby! don't go baby!! BaaAAAaaaaabaaaaay!!"

    What's with the Simon bashing? It's getting out of hand.

    Bar Trash- my GOD! a tasteful outfit. That's freaky shit. This rendition of "Everything I Do" was reminicent of when a bridesmaid gets up at a wedding and sings to kill time in the ceremony.

    Josh- fuckin' country twang. Torture.

    Carmen- Karaoke Idol! Her and her damn silly dancing. She belongs at a theme park in a Scooby Doo costume. See how Randy only got balls after Simon tore into her?
    Yeah. No balls, Randy. No balls.

    Trynece- ..... not singing Whitney Houston? what is that?! She was good. Lots of emotion. Good. Refreshing. She's back!

    Reuben-A+, as usual.

By eri on Wednesday, April 9, 2003 - 08:41 pm:

    Yeah, Treynce didn't sing Whitney for once. She sang Celine Dion. For chrisakes this girl had a DIVA COMPLEX and she really isn't all that. Though I do have to admit she didn't suck ass as bad as Carmen. Carmen is on my fuck off list this week.

    Why doesn't ANYONE tell Private Dumbass that the country music star program is on ANOTHER FUCKING CHANNEL and he auditioned for the WRONG SHOW!!!!

    I do agree that Randy needs to really seriously grow a pair. I was also glad that for once the guest judge didn't suck up EVERYONE'S ass and tried to hide just how bad he thought it was but still let you see his dissapointment.

By eri on Wednesday, April 9, 2003 - 10:07 pm:

    I cannot believe it was Hercules. I mean, of all of the other people who suck ass worse than he does. Not that I wanted him to win, but damnit, I wanted to see Bar Trash fucking break down and start blubbering bigtime again, because she fucking got kicked off of the damned show!

By wisper on Thursday, April 10, 2003 - 06:15 pm:

    wow, carmen got enough votes to make it back?
    there's something wrong with that shit.

    who was the bottom 3?

By eri on Thursday, April 10, 2003 - 06:58 pm:

    Bar Trash, Kimberly attitude bitch, and Ricky Smith. Carmen and Treynce didn't even get in the bottom three. They fucked up the vote! I swear they tamper with it. Fuckwads!

    Carmen and Bar Trash are on my top two list to go home! Damnit, I don't want to hear them butcher another fucking song again!!!!!

By agatha on Thursday, April 10, 2003 - 07:37 pm:

    I like Trenyce. I think she's good, and she acts naturally like a diva. If it were forced diva-ness, I would feel differently.

    Last night, I tivo-ed out by flipping back and forth between the results show, which was currently playing, and the show from tuesday night. It really increased my viewing pleasure, I tell you.

    My messages to the Idols...

    Carmen- Blondie says to get up off her ass. Your odd disjointed dancing wasn't working for me this week.
    Ricky- I still think you're a good boy, and I hope you find fame and fortune and don't get caught up in some Bobby Brown type scandal in the future.
    Ruben- your dimples make me wanna give you a big hug. Thanks for refraining from your Alabama number shirt this week.
    Clay- the bluish purple lipstick isn't working for you. Please sing some more Elton John before it's too late. Also, please curb your silent thank you habit and eye closing habit, it's tired. I still have faith in you, but you seem like you might be buckling under pressure. Stay strong, special ed teacher boy!
    Kimberley Locke- I like your hair straight, and I like that you study law. You need to relax a little bit, though. I know you've got it, girl.
    Kimberley Caldwell- go home. Nice dress this week, though. Thanks for removing the bad perm, as well.
    Trenyce- loosen up just a little bit more, can you? I like you and your new sassy flip hairstyle. Don't steal any more shit now, ya hear?

    Kelly Clarkson- Booyah! Nice booty, girl!

By wisper on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 - 10:18 pm:

    yay i'm first!

    what's up with this week? Randy only said 'dawg' 3 or 4 times.

    Didn't Smokey R. look....creepy? And what's with Billy Joel not being there? and what's with them only doing his songs?
    I'm so glad Ricky is gone, because you know he just would have done a Billy Joel song anyway, if he thought he was coming. The pandering twit.

    Bar Trash- eh. Wait.... did she get....EXTENSIONS?!?!? grrrrr!

    Reuben- hey hey! aces. Didja see how happy he looked? he really loves that song. I was happy just watching him.

    Kim- She looks like a real pro now. Those trim hats and suits they've got her in really help her out. Also, her new straight hair really makes her look thinner.
    But she tries too hard. The difference between her ad-libs in the songs and Trenyce's are so clear. It's like Kim has hers written down on her hand and Trenyce just flows out of her.
    Yeah. She looks great now though.

    Carmen- oh, Carmen. Make the pain stop.
    "Hi! I'm Carmen Rasmusen and i can't even wear a flower in my hair properly!"
    Billy Joel- "and then when i heard that talentless little cunt was going to sing MY song, i was like, fuck that, i'm not going!"
    Carmen was better than bar trash! But still shit. They really tore her one. Simon told her to shut up! Randy agreed with Simon because he has no balls! Even Smokey had nothing nice to say! Awesome!

    G.I. Josh- holy fuck, that was awful. Even for him. That was bad just by everyday people standards. When he started on the "la-de-da-la' part, it was like death.

    Trenyce- Still doesn't need this show. And she was wearing a slip or something. She's too good for AI. See how cool she is, like she doesn't even feel it? she has little to worry about after this show.

    ......but she got EXTENSIONS!!!!!!!! die!!!!

    Clay- Am i in Vegas? he's uhm, getting, uhm, boring.

    and hurray for sexy Simon and Spongebob.
    Seacrest must die.


    in other news, the light keeps going on and off. seriously. it's messing me up. I'll have to ask the room mate if it happens to him too. I shan't be the only one haunted around here!

By eri on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 00:09 am:

    All I can say is you are so right. The show was almost boring. Clay talking about how he usually does ballads and then he starts the damned song like a ballad. Fuck, it's getting old. Ruben rocked as always. Carmen and Bar Trash need to get a room. Carmen's sappy story about singing this song with her friends and how it reminds her of home and family drove me to drink. GI Dipshit sucked ass with his country twangy shit again. Kimberly and Trenyce, can't really say anything bad about their performance, but they just bug me. I loved it when Simon said he had visions of Six Flags after Bar Trash sang, though. I mean, I had that exact same image weeks ago, but cool. Go Simon!!!!

    Any bets on who leaves tomorrow?
    My guess is Carmen.

By J on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 01:22 am:

    I'm still trying to get over Seacrud saying "Daddy needs new highlights" and then Simon said something gay too,but it's the midnight hour and I'm tanked,and I'm not one to gossip.Just come as you are.

By J on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 11:57 pm:

By eri on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 02:15 pm: that one of the jokes making fun of reality tv that comedy central airs in commercials? They have some good ones!

By wisper on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 06:30 pm:

    i hope it's Carmen. I bet she's getting to the point where she wants off, just to save what little dignity she has.
    She's like that blonde guy from last year, the one that just kept getting sympathy votes till he was in the top five? Poor bastard. He sucked.

By eri on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 06:59 pm:

    The blonde guy in the top 5? Who was he? I don't remember him, unless you are talking about pubes, but he made it to the final two. He still sucks in my book.

By agatha on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 08:01 pm:

    One of the blank- J's, I believe there was an AJ, and a CJ, and also maybe a DJ? Whatever his name was, he was from Tacoma.

    Here's my rating from last night, in order from worst to best...
    kimberley locke

    I thought both trenyce and kimberley were phenomenal, but i also really like both of those songs. kimberley reminded me of jennifer warnes with the smoothness and control in her voice, and trenyce added a nice bluesy tone to her version of baby grand that was most pleasing. they both seemed really comfortable and natural last night. i will be very pissed if either of them get voted off after their performances last night.

    ruben sounded like his voice was going, he was a little rough around the edges, like he'd been singing too much. once again, his shit doesn't stink for some reason. i was glad simon said something in the way of critique to him, it's getting kind of annoying how people aren't judging the performances so much as the idea of each performer.

    i was really disappointed in clay this week. he should have sung a nice old billy joel ballad instead of trying to prove that he can sing snazzily. he would have been great if he had sung captain jack, she's got a way, or scenes from an italian restaurant. this could have been his week to shine, like when he sang elton john that one time and totally rocked. he did tone down on the blue/ lavender lipstick, which was a relief. also, his outfit was super stylie last night.

    josh- ugh. your experiment in melding pop and country totally failed. thanks for playing. he really shouldn't tuck his shirt in, either, it makes him look like a goofy corporate drone.

    carmen just seemed scared and lost. i felt really bad for her. she's too young to handle this competition, and i suspect that her parents are raging back-stagers. she should run away from home and start a punk rock band before it's too late.

    bartrash- she seems scared to really rock out. i can tell that she's capable, but she's trying to be all smooth and polished, and it doesn't work. she's this season's nikki mckibbon, but without the eye twitch.

    wisper, i think the idea was to sing only billy joel songs, which was why it was particularly confusing to have smokey robinson as the guest judge. there must have been an administrative blunder at the last minute. i can picture the execs on the phones the night before the show, scanning through celebrity phone numbers in their palm pilots. they got as far as "R" and started to get desperate.

    smokey seemed like he was wondering the whole time how the hell he ended up on american idol. poor guy.

By eri on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 - 10:48 pm:

    The VOTES are in!!!

    All I can say is FUCK YEAH!!! It's about time!!!! WOO HOO! I have been waiting for this moment since she made the top 12!!!!

By J on Thursday, April 17, 2003 - 01:47 am:

    Every since I've been watching this,Ruben has reminded me of somebody I couldn't put my finger on.Tonight it came to me,Chef from South Park,does anyone else see this?

By dingo on Thursday, April 17, 2003 - 09:56 am:

    Oh yeah

By eri on Thursday, April 17, 2003 - 11:26 pm:

    I never looked at him that way. How funny. I wanna hear him sing a song about the clitoris now!

    I am just so happy that BAR TRASH IS GONE!!!!! I wish she would have blubbered again, but she didn't which did steal some of my joy in her going home, but oh well.

By J on Thursday, April 17, 2003 - 11:38 pm:

    I know exactly what you mean,she teared up some,but composed herself,quite the let down.I'm glad Kim Locke is still in there, I like her.

By eri on Thursday, April 17, 2003 - 00:33 pm:

    I thought the whole thing was funny. I mean, I totally thought Carmen was out all day yesterday. Then they sent Treynce back, and it was just Bar Trash and Carmen. Here's Seashit asking you know which one of you it will be? Then Carmen is really nervous, she thinks it's her and Bar Trash hugs her and gives her this smug "It will be allright we will miss you I know it will be you that's leaving look" and I yell at the tv "I hope that bitch goes from that smug ass look on her face towards carmen, the bitch". Then Bar Trash goes. It was almost funny, if only she would have blubbered, that would have made my year.

    Kimberly Locke is improving as the show goes on, I think. Then again, I lost a lot of respect for her when she was mouthing off at Simon in the beginning. I think she went too far, and my classy image of her was blown. The thing is that she is starting to win some of that back.

    I want that fucking military dipshit to go home. The whole country pop crossover thing is just pissing me off. He annoys the shit out of me. I know he is getting total votes because he is military and is milking the shit out of it, or he probably wouldn't still be there and it just pisses me off. Yeah, Mr. upstanding military father and husband who FUCKING LEFT HIS FAMILY AT THE MERE CHANCE OF FAME!!!!!!! Not to say that he divorced them, but he is living in a house miles away with other single women and NOT HIS WIFE AND KID!!!! If he is so Mr. America as they try to portray him, then he wouldn't do this without his family by his side every single day, because that is what this country shit is all about, isn't it. Living in grassy fields and sitting on the rocking chair, whittling wooden fish and shit as the sun goes down with your wife sitting next to you drinking lemonade and your kid playing with the dog on the front yard and shit like that. I mean, this is the image he is trying to portray while his family is somewhere else. Can you tell he bugs me?

By J on Thursday, April 17, 2003 - 02:08 pm:!

By wisper on Saturday, April 19, 2003 - 07:36 pm:


    *Anna Anna, Fabulous Anna, Anna Nicole!*

    one of our tv stations finally picked up the Anna Nicole Smith Show, and i saw the first episode of season 2 last night.
    I can't imagine a better show. The theme alone was brilliant, and the rest, wow. Cute cartoon Anna and her dog, i love it!
    And they only showed little clips from season one, but i hope it comes out on DVD or something because i can't get enough of watching rich, fat, washed-up white trash hump chairs and beds.

    best show ever.

By wisper on Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - 11:28 pm:

    well well well.
    (i can't believe i had to go to the Yahoo News Message boards to find out who lost. Keep up the pace,!)

    we're not supposed to give away things here because of the time difference for moony, right? okay.

    Anyway, all i can say about this week is very simple. Josh was so bad, so goddamn bad, so awesome was his sucking that i would have laughed through the whole thing, except that my mouth was stuck open in shock, so i had to do that thing where you're laughing but your mouth can't close so it's kind of a weird clucking sound.
    And his poor wife, sitting right there, watching all that.
    He made the most Jokerfaces ever! Terror!
    So glad i taped it!

    so bad.

    worst of show: that fucking Herbal Haircolour commercial. Whores. All whores.

By moonit on Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - 11:36 pm:

    no no no no TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.

    I will lose my Queen of Reality TV title if I can't tell anyone whats going on.

    Besides we're only a week or so behind.

By Rowlf on Wednesday, April 23, 2003 - 11:59 pm:

    Carmen is gone

By J on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 02:47 am:

    Can't say I'm surprised. Did anyone see Elvis Costello
    on Frasier last night?

By Rowlf on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 09:28 am:

    I noticed a couple things on this site

    1) the losers are placed back to front in order they got knocked off, I'd be upset if I was Trenyce right now, could be an omen

    2) Corey Clark was taken off on April Fools Day. I wish I noticed that then.

By Spider on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 09:46 am:

    I missed Elvis Costello?!

By J on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 01:41 pm:

    Yes,he was on Fraiser,he was a folk singer at the cafe where Fraiser and Niles hangout.Frasier made a stink about him,about how much money he spends there a year and either he goes or Frasier goes,then Frasier and Niles are looking for a new place to hang. Elvis is quite the ham,ever see him on Larry Sanders?

By eri on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 02:21 pm:

    Damn y'all! I am totally missing out. I was trying to score some trash bags to help me pack and got stuck talking to a neighbor for a hour and missed them booting Carmen.

    Joker face sucked ass. I mean, if I were his wife I would be pissed. He said he chose that crappy song because it was one he used to sing to his wife in high school. If there was this special song my husband sang for me and only me, then I would get pissed if he sang it to America the way he sings it to me. It would lose meaning if it wasn't especially for me anymore. OK I am weird. I admit it.

    I noticed that Simon is being more like his old self again. We are getting down to the wire and you have to be the best at the game. Being good isn't good enough. He told Carmen that she just wasn't good enough. He told Clay he would cast him lead on Broadway, but he wasn't AI. He told Ruben to watch out for Kimberly (and I think she did the best performance that night).

    Wanna hear something that sucks? I have NEVER heard or seen Elvis Costello. I hear about him all of the time, and I hear wonderful things, but I have still never seen him or heard him sing. How pathetic am I?

By Spider on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 02:40 pm:

    Elvis Costello, even when he was in his "angry young man" phase, is one of the most adorable men ever to grace this earth. He is smart and funny and snotty and wise, and he writes beautiful songs with beautiful words and beautiful music, and he's just fabulous.

    Go to and listen to some sound clips or something! You should not deny yourself the pleasure of knowing Elvis Costello any further.

    His most famous song is "Alison," off of the "My Aim Is True" album:

    Oh it's so funny to be seeing you after so long, girl.
    And with the way you look I understand that you were not impressed.
    But I heard you let that little friend of mine
    Take off your party dress.
    I'm not gonna to get too sentimental
    Like those other sticky valentines,
    'Cause I don't know if you are loving somebody.
    I only know it isn't mine.

    Alison, I know this world is killing you.
    Oh, Alison, my aim is true.

    Well I see you've got a husband now.
    Did he leave your pretty fingers lying in the wedding cake?
    You used to hold him right in your hand.
    I bet he took all he could take.
    Sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking
    When I hear the silly things that you say.
    I think somebody better put out the big light,
    'Cause I can't stand to see you this way.

    Alison, I know this world is killing you.
    Oh, Alison, my aim is true.
    My aim is true.


By Spider on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 02:42 pm:

    Here is his official website. You can find tons of song clips here.

By eri on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 03:27 pm:

    OMG, I totally love his voice. It's so sexy! I never even dreamed his music would sound like that (in my ignorant little cave). He totally rocks!!!!! Thanks!

By J on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 03:40 pm:

    Everone needs a little Elvis in their lives:) That game Mr. Personality,I bet when the camera isn't on her Monica does her balloon swallowing trick,for the boys.

By eri on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 03:51 pm:

    I need you guys to recommend good songs now!!!!!

    I bet Monica does more than that for the boys!!!!

    I thought it was funny that she kept the millionaire and the jobless guy. There aren't any good looking ones left either, which is funny. They are all so average. Hehe.

By Spider on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 04:27 pm:

    My favorite Elvis Costello song is "You Tripped at Every Step," off of the "Brutal Youth" album. (That album is my favorite of his, btw, though I've read a lot of negative reviews of it on To each his own.)

    His last album, "When You Were Cruel," was pretty good, though he went off in a direction with a lot of electronic sounds, which is unusual for him.

    "I Want You" is considered (by J and Margret and I :) ) one of his best songs. That's off of "Blood and Chocolate," which I don't really care for as a whole.

By eri on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 04:31 pm:

    I have already got "I want you" (this stuff is good, I'm moving quickly here)

    Thanks for the other song ideas.

    I listened to some of the stuff off of "When You Were Cruel" on that link and I liked it a lot, but Micki didn't :(

By kazoo on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 05:25 pm:

    I love love love Elvis Costello and I actually saw Frasier the other night by accident.

    At the moment, my favorite song is "Beyond Belief" but it changes often. "I want you" comes in and out of that slot every now and then.

    Micki will learn. Play "Oliver's Army" "Pump it Up" or "Radio Radio" or even "Veronica" for her. They may be more 3 year old friendly in sound, though not necessarily in content. I know my brother liked listening to that with me when I was in high school and of course he was at least 10 by that time.

By Rowlf on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 05:59 pm:

    I'm not much of a Costello fan, but "My Mood Swings" is one kickass song.

By J on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 06:17 pm:

    Jonathon loves, What's so Funny About Peace,Love and Understanding.

By patrick on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 06:41 pm:

    Jonathon Richman.

    we should talk more about Jonathon Richman. Costello and Waits get more than their fair share of bytes around here.

    Jonathan Richman.

    God damn i love that guy.

By Dougie on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 07:05 pm:

    It's all good, Eri.

    My favorite is All This Useless Beauty. My fav songs from it are Poor Fractured Atlas (actually probably my fav EC song), Shallow Grave, and I Want To Vanish.

    When You Were Cruel didn't do much for though.

    If you want to get a good representation of his stuff, he's got a greatest hits album.

By Dougie on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 07:29 pm:

    In order of knob slobbing (me):

    1) Carmen
    2) Trenyce
    3) The other chick

    In order of talent:

    1) Tie between Ruben and the skinny dude
    2) Tie between Trenyce and the other chick
    3) That's about it

By agatha on Thursday, April 24, 2003 - 08:34 pm:

    Oh, I would totally choose "the other chick," aka Kimberley Locke, if I were a lesbian. You know she's an animal in the sack. Bigger the cushion, ya know.

    I'm rooting at this point for Kimberley and Ruben tied, followed by Trenyce, Clay, and please vote him off next week jokerface Josh.

    The whole time he sang on tuesday, I was picturing being his wife and how absolutely mortified I would be if anyone ever sang that song to me with such a severe jokerface technique.

    I saw Jonathan Richman about six months ago for the first time, after missing his performances time and time again for years. He was amazing, and still oh so very handsome in his cowboy style shirt.

    Elvis Costello= my dream date.

By eri on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 01:32 pm:

    Shit, I never realized how much Elvis I actually knew. Look at me, I am an idiot!! He was in the first Austin Powers movie. I totally used to jam to Veronica when we lived in MO. I am checking out the other stuff you guys recommend now.

    Patrick, if you want me to check out Jonathan Richman you will need to give me songs to check out!!!!! Though I am not objecting to listening to new artists (at least new to me). I haven't found any new music for a while!

By patrick on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 01:54 pm:

    Elvis has been around since you were riding bigs wheels girl.

    You might recall Jonathan Richman from "Something About Mary" as the doting guy with the guitar serenading in random scenes.

    but moreover....Richman was making music when you were barely a sparkly in your pop's beer, in the late 60s in a group that didnt get far called the Modern Lovers. They made a few albums and Richman was reknowned for being straight and playing Boston Univ, campus parties from the bathroom where he liked the accoustics.

    here's one of his songs....

    Pablo Picasso

    ok....maybe a portion of it.


    i dunno. look around.

    he's a classic lyricist and musician. a bit corny, but entertaining as hell... the real deal.

By eri on Friday, April 25, 2003 - 02:02 pm:

    OK I remember him in that movie. I liked him in that. I will have to check him out. Thanks!

By eri on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 - 10:38 pm:

    OK, so up to this week. Well as usual Ruben did well. Kimbery did well. Clay finally lost the whole Broadway thing and got his facial expressions under control. He even danced a little. Clay redeemed himself. Treynce was allright, but nothing special and frankly during her version of both songs I thought she was totally off pitch, but what do I know. Joker faced asshole sucked ass with his constant country shit. I wish he would get that the fucking country version of this show is on another channel. He got shit from all of the judges. He sucked ass. He was my first choice for going home.

    Clay made the guest judge fucking CRY he did such an amazing job, and Ruben was stellar as always, smooth and enjoying every moment of what he was doing.

    My thoughts were this. Treynce and Joker Face in the bottom two. Lance Corporal dipshit was the worst I have seen in a long time. He made bar trash look good.

    I was totally shocked to see who was in the bottom two tonight. In fact, I was pissed. I was yelling at the television pissed off. I kept thinking "Don't let him go, I won't watch the show anymore. This is too fucked up." I was in complete shock. He was the last person I expected to see in the bottom two. Fucking voters!!!!!!! Too bad I don't know how to text message goddamn it!!!!!

    I won't give it away for those of you who haven't seen it yet, but damn!!!!!

By eri on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 - 10:40 pm:

    BTW Joker face threatened Simon for his comments and was totally out of line (though a lot of people won't understand his threat, cuz it was in military lingo) and he totally pissed me off. When he found out who was in the bottom two he hid his head and cried. Fucking pussy knew it should have been his ass down there.

    OK I will stop my rant now. The person who left, needed to go, but it should have been his ass gone.

By semillama on Thursday, May 1, 2003 - 10:25 am:

    THis is my only exposure to american idol, outside of brief discussions on Headline News in teh moring whenI am half-awake and moments when it's on the tv in the laundrymat.

    What exactly did the marine say? I have some interst in this because he started off as bar trash, and i was in that bar.

    Not enough to actually watch the show, mind you...

By J on Thursday, May 1, 2003 - 12:26 pm:

    Your right Eri,it should have been Joshua that got the boot(camp) and he probably was "acting" like he was crying cause he knew he sucked.He should have been out of there along time ago.And that song that Justin whatshisass from the first show sang sucked too.Their movie must suck too,they keep putting off and changeing the release date.

By eri on Thursday, May 1, 2003 - 12:48 pm:

    Kelly Clarkson has been nothing but a dissapointment since the end of the first season. I see what she does now and think about how badly she sucked. I still can't stand to watch Pubes, but at least the song was better than what Kelly has come out with, though still to frickin boy band for me. They both suck now.

    Sem, I don't remember what it was exactly that he said. They each sang twice Tuesday night, and it was painful. His first song, everyone bashed him and told him it sucked, that he wasn't relaxing and being himself, that he was trying too hard and that it was dreadful. The guest judge was trying to be nice and say he had good energy, but that was it. The second time around Randy said it was better, Paula said it was an improvement of the first song, and Simon said it wasn't good enough and he should no longer be in the competition and that Paula didn't know what she was talking about because it wasn't any better. When Joker face sat next to Seacrap for the final words, Seacrap asked Joker face what he thought about what Simon said. Joker face said something about how lucky Simon was that he was sitting there or he would have (blah blah military lingo shit) all over him. He was being really nasty, and I don't remember his words, but I knew that most of the people watching wouldn't understand how bad that threat was. I wanted very badly to reach through the television and kick his high and mighty ass in front of the whole fucking nation and then say "gonna bust it out now buddy" "You threatened Simon and now a 100 lb little chick just kicked your ass on national tv, so whaddya gonna do now?". I was so pissed, but I can't remember exactly what it was he said. I think I blanked it out on purpose.

    I am so not going to see "From Justin to Kelly" if I can help it. I bet the kids will want to see it but maybe they can wait until it is a 59 cent video rental!

By eri on Thursday, May 1, 2003 - 12:49 pm:

    Oh, it was Treynce that went home. Ruben was in the bottom two and I was totaly shocked, but in the end Treynce went home.

By agatha on Thursday, May 1, 2003 - 06:55 pm:

    I can't believe that Ruben was in the bottom two, either. My theory is that the Ruben lovers were feeling cocky enough not to vote this week, and the Josh military country music lovers were on some kind of frenzied phone tree from hell, calling in with a vengeance.

    This happened last year too, when the Tamyra lovers got lazy with the calling in and she got the boot waaaay too early.

    I like Trenyce. I don't care what any of you say. I think she's got a nice confidence, and she has much potential as a performer. I'm sure she'll get some good gig out of this deal. Stupid Kimberley Caldwell had already signed on with some dumb Fox sports show, and she sucks, so Trenyce should be okay.

    For the record, I still like Kelly Clarkson. I thought she was rad a few weeks ago when she performed. I didn't think that Justin was bad last night, either, but whatever.

    Josh must go away now. That is all.

By eri on Thursday, May 1, 2003 - 09:08 pm:

    I agree that Josh must go away now. He needs to go bad.

    I guess that to be honest, I don't think Kelly did that bad. I was just expecting better and felt let down. I didn't think that Pubes did bad, but I don't particularly like that kind of music. I was impressed by his performance, I just don't like his hair. Pubes. It fucking bugs the shit out of me.

    I doubt that Treynce will end up doing nothing after this. She will probably find a contract somewhere. Especially if Bar Trash got one. I don't like her but I don't like Whitney Houston, and she sings like her a lot.

    Oh well, I am just happy that Ruben hasn't left yet. I want him, Clay and Kimberly Locke to be the bottom three with guaranteed contracts.

By J on Thursday, May 1, 2003 - 11:07 pm:

    I like Justin,not that song though.

By eri on Friday, May 2, 2003 - 01:44 pm:

    I actually thought that the song was good on him. I don't particularly like that kind of music, but it seemed to fit him well. I think it was the best I had ever seen him, but then again, he wasn't trying this time, and maybe that was the difference.

By PetRock on Friday, May 2, 2003 - 05:00 pm:

    A while back I thought it would (and should) come down to Ruben vs Clay in the final two (which would have probably driven Fox crazy - having two guys square off against each other. I think they prefer more of the "Battle of the Sexes" type of ending).

    But now I think that it should be Ruben vs Kimberley Locke (she's gotten much better as time goes on).

    Meanwhile, I do tend to agree w/ Simon much of the time - like when he called Clay (or Gay Clay as one online website refers to him) on his weird facial expressions. Those breathy little "thank yous" and cute little winks have got to go. Accckkkkk....

    (and who out there doesn't think that Clay is a pillow biter?)

    Funny how you guys refer to Joshua (Sgt. Slaughter-My-Music) Gracin as Jokerface. I thought I was the only one crazy enough to think that his pudgy little face was a bit too reminiscent of Jack Nicholson in Batman. Scary....even scarier is the knee-jerk reaction of America in keeping that nasal-twanged country-fried bucket of chicken in the finals just because he's a Marine.

    (A Marine??? Have you actually seen this guy do anything military yet? My god, what does he have? Some sort of 60 day leave of absence??? What's going to happen when the bastards go on tour? Damn...Private Fatbody needs to start doing some situps)

    Favorite Elvis Costello album? Imperial Bedroom.
    Favorite EC song? There's so many - but I'm esp. partial to the early stuff. Pretty much anything off of Armed Forces (Oliver's Army, with it's piano riff borrowed from Abba, Accident's Will Happen, etc).

    And who said they didn't know how to text message (refering to AI?). The phone voting thing is much easier....

    Pete (ashamed to be admiting that I actually have been attempting to stay on top of this AI phenom this time around, seeing how I missed about 50% of it last year. But still, most of the performances, while good, are still of a Broadway/Cabaret/Dinner Theater quality)

By agatha on Friday, May 2, 2003 - 06:12 pm:

    I almost choked when I saw the expression "pillow biter." Thank you so much for that one, Pete.

By J on Friday, May 2, 2003 - 10:55 pm:

    That cracked me up too:) I wont forget that one,I'm listening to You Stole My Bell by the master right now and loving it.

By wisper on Saturday, May 3, 2003 - 10:26 pm:

    during Josh's 2nd song last time, a GL the housemate asked "why do you keep calling him Jokerface?"
    "just wait", we said.
    Seconds later, he hit a painful high note and broke into the longest, most defined Jokerface EVER.
    GL screamed.

By wisper on Saturday, May 3, 2003 - 10:35 pm:

    " a GL the housemate "

    remove the a

By wisper on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 12:29 am:

    all i can say is, as soon as Josh came out first singing "Jive-talkin'", i choked on my drink and announced that this is by far the worst thing that could ever happen on AI.

    "Am i eating shit? because that would really finish off this moment nicely."

    and then him picking the same song as Clay... too perfect.

    I'm thinking the bottom 2 will be Josh and Clay.

By eri on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 12:33 am:

    I missed it tonight. Doggone it. I was buying a palm sander and some new fish and completely missed it.

    Need detailed recap please.

By wisper on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 12:54 am:

    well it was Bee-Gee's night.
    Some of the old losers were seating in the front row, as is their custom. Cave Troll was right behind Simon, that was a treat. And Ricky was beside him.
    Oh, the conversations they must have had.

    So it starts off with Josh singing Jive Talkin, like i said, and since he's a douche he ran straight into the crowd and was doing the "singing while giving out high-fives and hugs to old women and screaming pre-teens" thang. It was really, really, really annoying. Plus he sounded like shit. The end.

    the Bee Gee's guy was your usual celebrity judge- "I've never quite heard it done in a country style before, but it was very original. Good job!"
    Let's not talk about him. So useless.

    Then Clay sang....uhm......i forget. Crap. It was okay and all, just Clay being Clay. You know.

    Then Kimberly went, and she was plain good. Like usual. Simon said it was too sweet and ordinary, and i'd agree.

    then Reuben, smooth as usual.

    Then Major Dad goes again, and get this, he does the same song that Clay did (FUCK, what song was IT?!? a slow love one, anyway) and butchers it with his hick-twang, puke. What was he thinking, singing the same song AFTER clay nailed it.
    What a douche.

    Then Clay sang 'Grease', which was just DISTURBING, he did this creepy little hip shake to the beat, really nerdly. Wearing a bad jacket. It sounded okay, but it's such a known song, hearing anyone else do it is weird.

    Then Kim sang that one that Destiny's Child covered? i think? It was super. She hit a high note and everyone cheered.

    Then Reuben was Reuben again.

    the end.

    please make Josh go away.

By moonit on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 02:51 am:

    My god, they must CUT a shitload out of ours. We got an hour on Sunday night, no Josh abuse of Simon, no crying judge.

    Even though I knew Rooooooooooooben ended up in the bottom two last week it was still shocking.

    I hate Army boy.

By dave. on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 02:54 am:

    god damn. i really lose interest at the finalist stage. i like the screening stage. none of the goobs will ever make an album i'd buy or listen to. yeah, some of 'em are good, some clearly aren't. *sigh*

    i want clay to win simply because i abhor motown and r&b. i'd much rather be assaulted by style council/abc/spandau ballet when i'm having to be randomly assaulted by pop music dreck.

    i'd like clay to sing some love. orange skies or signed, dc. they should have a love theme with arthur lee as a guest judge.

By patrick on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 12:56 pm:

    does this thread really exist?

    dave is that really you?

By dave. on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 02:34 pm:

    probably and maybe.

By patrick on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 03:10 pm:

    hey dave. in advance of any minscontrued offense like to say im sorry.

By eri on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 03:20 pm:

    This thread will be here until the end of the show. Maybe even afterward when we hear tidbits of actually interesting information about these guys on the show, but I doubt there will be many. It might even be ressurected when the next season starts. Open communication to talk shit about the newest batch of losers attempting fame.

    I am sad that I missed last nights show. I think Clay trying to dance would have been a hillarious joke to see. I love his voice, but he can't dance.

By spunky on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 03:43 pm:

    i hate clay
    i hate almost all of them
    'cept ruben

By semillama on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 04:19 pm:

    i was actually craving some technoboredom last night, so I tuned in. THey all have good voices, but i didn't really like or dislike any of it. Didn't touch me.

    Out of my limited exposure, i do think that Ruben probably has the brightest future of them all. He seemed like the one who most enjoyed what he was doing.

    Clay's hip twitching was horrifying.

    And if Simon ever has to miss a show, they should replace him with Stone Cold Steve Austin, and instead ov being snippy to the contestants, he could just give them stunners and pour beer on him.

    THAT, i'd watch religiously.

By spunky on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 04:30 pm:

    "Clay's hip twitching was horrifying. "


By eri on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 04:49 pm:

    I bet it was, but that would make it funny. Damn, I missed it. Damn me and my desire for power tools!!!!

By spunky on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 04:54 pm:

    I've got your power tool right here baby.......


By patrick on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 05:45 pm:

    thank you for tainting my afternoon with pukey goodness.

    god damn.

    i take that back.

    the pervasive and constant image of spunk and sex has completely flushed this place down the toilet.

By moonit on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 06:29 pm:

    Oh yes or even as a guest judge. My guess the only person Stone Cold wouldn't mess with would be Reuben.

By wisper on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 07:04 pm:

    i'd also like to say that Paula's comments to the kids last night were the most sugar-coated and non-constructive yet. A show in itself, is Paula's little speeches.
    It was just sad.
    "Oh gosh, Reuben, I'm such a big fan! you're just so great out there, you make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!"

    "Oh man Clay, you just really let yourself go all out this time, it made me happy just watching you! I'm such a big fan of yours!"

    "Oh wow Josh, you really took that song and made it your own. Every night you just come out here and give it your best, And well, you know i'm a big Josh fan!"

    "Kim, Kim, Kim, you are just so classy out there, you really are. I'm a fan, i have to admit."

    Sometimes it's fun to just talk over her and make up what she says, it can't be any less cheesy.
    "Omigod Reuben, I'm such a big fan! I swear you're just like a big birthday cake for the whole wide world, you're just so.....great! You make me tingly all over and i want to hug you and kiss you all day! I can't stop grinning! I honestly can't! You're just tooooooooo good! You're super-duper-expealidocious out there! Big fan!!! ME!!!"

    Worse than Neil Sedaka last week, but he was hillarious, as he read his pre-written praise off a little card.
    "You are ear-licious!"
    I expected him to go into long rants like hollywood execs from 1930's movies.
    "Yer all money kid! I want 'cha in my next picture. Yer the cat's pyjamas!", what was up with THAT. I wish i taped it. Funny little man.

By wisper on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 07:06 pm:

By spunky on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 09:26 pm:

    you had to know that was coming.
    abc family already has one

By eri on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 10:41 pm:

    After watching who leaves tonight.....all I can say is "Fish Fish I got my wish"!!!!!! Woo hoo!!!

    Too bad he/she had to fuck it up at the end and play the sympathy card. Fucktard.

By moonit on Wednesday, May 7, 2003 - 11:58 pm:

    tell me TELL ME!

By Rowlf on Thursday, May 8, 2003 - 09:21 am:

    Jokerface is gone

By semillama on Thursday, May 8, 2003 - 10:02 am:

    Shouldn't that read "What American Idol did TO young adults, they are going to do TO kids"?

By eri on Wednesday, May 14, 2003 - 11:23 pm:

    I won't give it away for those of you who didn't get to see it yet. I was suprised at who went home today. I totally thought they were going to fuck with the votes so to speak to keep this person in the top two.

    On my little AIM newspage there was an article on Frenchie. She just got a lead part in Rent on Broadway!!!! She may not have gone all American Idol, but she is still working!!!!! Frenchie fights on!!!! First Entertainment Tonight and now Broadway!!!

By PetRock on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 01:34 pm:

    Hilarious, classic Rolling Stone review of the AI2 album...

    American Idol is the heartbeat of America. Every week, the contestants prove that if you believe in your dreams and reach out to touch people with the gift of music, you, too, can make bloodcurdling noises like these. It's inspirational, in that sucking-your-will-to-live kind of way. And now we get another American Idol soundtrack, one of the year's most remarkable albums. No Simon, no Paula -- just these poor kids flogging their favorite schlock standards like a karaoke death squad. You have to hear it to believe it -- the whole album captures that moment of dread when your Uncle Tony starts singing show tunes three Jack and Cokes into Thanksgiving dinner. Never before have so few sucked so hard for the entertainment of so many.
    The album begins with the cast chirping, "What the world needs now/Is love, sweet love," and, boy, does the world get some serious love in the next forty-seven minutes. It's like going to thirteen proms in a row. God gets thanked all over the CD booklet -- more than Paula Abdul, even. Corey Clark sums up the perky tone on the thank-you page, where he writes, "I would like to thank God for bestowing upon me such wonderful gifts." He then goes on to demonstrate his gifts by singing Journey's "Open Arms," and God must be, like, wicked psyched.
    Trenyce sobs "Let's Stay Together," Kimberley Locke gives us a little "Over the Rainbow" and Carmen Rasmusen tortures "How Do I Live" with a rusty fork. Ruben Studdard sings the Carpenters' "Superstar," one of the creepiest songs ever written, the tale of a psycho groupie obsessing over a rock star. But Studdard is under the impression that "Superstar" is a happy song, and so he jollies up the vocals ("Loneliness is such a sad affair/Saaaaaad affair"). So why didn't they invite Frenchie back to sing "Centerfold"?
    The best voice belongs to Joshua Gracin, who actually has a little grit. He also has something important he'd like to share with you, something he must say out loud. Are you listening? OK: You're once, twice, three times a lady, and he loves you. Rickey Smith does a very nice version of a very nice song, Brian McKnight's "Back at One," one of the truly great pop ballads of the past ten years and a personal karaoke favorite of mine, which is why I have no friends. For a truly nauseating finale, the whole cast joins together to sing "God Bless the U.S.A.," because what the world needs now is war, sweet war. So what does it all add up to? Proof that karaoke is too sacred a mission to be left in the hands of sober people. More sake for table six, please.
    (From RS 923, May 29, 2003)

By eri on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 01:52 pm:

    That was funny, but Joshua Gracin sucks ass, so he was wrong on that one.

    I am still suprised that it is going to be Clay and Ruben facing off for the final two. I totally didn't think Clay was going to make it that far when this started.

By PetRock on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 02:40 pm:

    I think (I hope, I pray...) that it was tongue firmly in cheek when he wrote that the best voice belonged to Josh.

    I heard a brief recap of Kimberley singing Over The Rainbow...damn that was nice (I've been TiVo'ing American Idiot, errr...I mean American Idol, just so I can fast forward through the ads and the boring bits. Usually, unless it's really good, I'll watch maybe 15 - 30 seconds of each performance. I try to watch 100% of the truly bad ones. (Which would explain the fact that a few weeks ago I was spending more time watching AI then I was ff'ing through it. Esp now that the Marine has left the building)

    Heard a rumor that Paul McCartney would be a guest judge next season....

By J on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 04:40 pm:

    And where is Elvis Costello? Why isn't he a judge? Look at how many songs they'd have to pick through.

By Harold C. Schonberg on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 04:48 pm:

    I think they should have an evening of the contestants singing Schubert Lieder and Ned Rorem songs.

By eri on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 05:11 pm:

    I don't know if I want to hear any of the contestants butcher Elvis Costello, though. I mean, could you imagine Jokerface, with his hillbilly twang singing "I want you" to his wife on that stage? Oh god, it would equal death. Elvis is probably too smart to let these idiots kill his songs and then sit there and tell them they did a great job and really made it their own!!!!

By semillama on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 05:41 pm:

    I've got one better than Elvis - Ozzy.

    Can you imagine the contestants having to sing Black Sabbath songs and Ozzy swearing at them for sucking so bad?

    Again, I say, DULCE!

    (if you are wondering about my sudden use of teh word "dulce, it's from here. I just like how it looks in print.

By Spider on Thursday, May 15, 2003 - 05:45 pm:

    But do you say it with a Spanish accent?

By wisper on Friday, May 16, 2003 - 12:01 am:

    i'm so glad it didn't come down to boy vs. girl.
    I have no idea who will win. Such intense competition.

By eri on Friday, May 16, 2003 - 12:48 am:

    I was totally afraid they would fuck with the votes to make it male vs female again. I think they did that the first time. Tamyra got robbed. Anyways, I am glad they didn't do that this time. But Clay vs Ruben will be a tough choice. So far the poles say 52% Clay 48% Ruben, so you know it could go either way.

By wisper on Friday, May 23, 2003 - 07:33 pm:

    man, we just don't care anymore, do we?

    Reuben! YES! woo hoo!

By wisper on Friday, May 23, 2003 - 07:49 pm:

    By wisper on Wednesday, February 26, 2003 - 06:39 pm:

    My prediction: Ruben sings the other 9's asses off, then kills and eats them on live tv.


    that's my boy!
    And...wait.... february 9th?! I've been watching this shit for 3 months??!!
    i have got to get rid of my tv.

    you know what i love about finals? the Parade of Losers. And the clip song of all the freaks from the auditions, like that nasty bitch who came in with her framed pic of her & Maraiah Carrey! Priceless.
    And Rockerdude D&D was back! how awesome was that. I tell you, it was like a gathering of old friends when they started singing together off-key.
    And note that Jokerface was nowhere to be seen. perhaps the marines actually put him to work this week? After a world of spotlights and hairdye and coke, how could he ever go back?

    Also MIA was little Corey. I guess his court date didn't go so well after all.

    What a long journey it's been, filled with ups and downs and Kimberly singing "Over the Rainbow" like 5 or 6 times.
    We get it, Kim, we get it.

    i don't know if i could watch another season. I had to push to watch the last 3 nights of this one.

By eri on Friday, May 23, 2003 - 08:41 pm:

    I noticed that jokerface was MIA. Didn't mourn his loss, though. Made the party better. I thought the clip of the losers all singing off key was hillarious, in a wanna make you puke and give you a migraine kind of way.

    I didn't think anyone cared anymore so I stopped posting about it.

    They keep dragging things out so much I didn't watch anything but the endings.

    Ruben won. Thought with both Ruben and Clay I thought it was a draw, so long as you don't have to look at Clay.

    Did anyone see that stupid commercial like thing where Simon and Paula kissed? That was the most disgusting thing I have seen yet. And then Randy popping up in the bed next to him....that seemed somehow appropriate and less nauseating. Even Hayley grossed out when they kissed. That was funny, watching the kids freak out over the grossness of the kiss.

By agatha on Friday, May 23, 2003 - 10:57 pm:

    I had noticed that none of us commented on the winners, or were even particularly interested in who would end up winning. I've been a little too frickin busy to comment, but of course I still have to come and read to fulfill my procrastination needs. For some reason, when I'm busy, it becomes okay to read but not to post. Dumb, I know.

    Anyhow, here are my parting comments on the show.

    1. I forgot about those twin girls! How scary were they?
    2. Why don't any of the losers that sang the loser medley have enough pride not to humiliate themselves further on television? It boggles the mind.
    3. When Paula and Simon kissed, I became visibly uncomfortable. Cleo ran out of the room. They were really and truly kissing! Nasty!
    4. How sad is it that I didn't even notice that Josh wasn't there?
    5. Did anyone besides myself think that Ruben was totally baked when they were showing him in his dressing room? Baked, I tell you!
    6. Clay's dressing room was bright bubblegum pink. WTF?
    7. How horrific was that rendition of "Bridge Over Troubled Water"? Did you all hear the part where it went "DOO DOO! DOO DOO!" And, that horn section! Wretched!
    8. Did you all like Ruben's version of "Imagine"? I did, but I don't know why.
    9. I still heart Vanessa.
    10. Viva la Frenchie!

    That's about it. This thread may or may not be rescuscitated for Idol Junior, depending on how pathetic I truly am.

    By the way, I got a new dress. It's purdy.

By eri on Saturday, May 24, 2003 - 12:22 am:

    Congrats on the new dress. I love getting new purdy clothes, but never have an occasion to wear them, until they are too small (apparently I am still gaining, cuz my mediums are getting tight).

    The problem with question #2 is that they don't realize they suck so bad and are humiliating themselves. It's pathetic. They don't know that they are almost as bad as my sister (who could challenge like a virgin boy for worst singer in the world!!!!). It's scary when you don't realize you are making a total ass of yourself.

    I found Clay's hot pink dressing room hillarious and somehow appropriate. I laughed my ass off and Spunky was in the background yelling "See, I told you he couldn't be straight!!!"

    Ruben looked baked when getting ready, but he looked like he was going to pass out for the last half of that show. Made ya wonder.

    Vanessa was the only one aside from good Kimberly who didn't make me wince when on stage. The rest all bugged the shit out of me and I totally WON'T be buying tickets to the concert!!!!

    I have no desire to see watch Idol Junior. I have this thing about watching little girls sing adult songs about love or sex. It annoys the fuck out of me and I think the only funny part of the show would be the retarded parents. Can you hear it now?

    I'm NOT a stage mom.
    My child was so much better.
    They let such sucky people on to the next round and my child got robbed!!!!!
    We worked on this for a year and for nothing cuz they chose kids who can't sing!!!!
    Robbed I tell you....Robbed!!!!!
    I'm NOT a stage mom!!!!!

    They would be the only entertaining part for me.

By Stonewall jackson on Tuesday, May 27, 2003 - 10:53 pm:

    eri stands like a wall of stone.

By eri on Wednesday, May 28, 2003 - 02:06 pm:

    WTF does that mean? Seriously, in my cave, that went right over my head.

By sarah on Thursday, August 21, 2003 - 06:33 pm:

    so my new housemate Donna has in the record setting time frame of three weeks got me hooked on the reality tv show called For Love Or Money.

    do any of you watch this show?

    my god!!

    i'm going to be camping while the last episode of the season is broadcast, and i'm already plotting on how i'm going to get it taped.

    utter sickness. sick sick sick.

By Dougie on Thursday, August 21, 2003 - 06:43 pm:

    Lately, I've been getting into the World Series of Poker that they broadcast on the Travel Channel and on ESPN.

By sarah on Thursday, August 21, 2003 - 06:51 pm:

    didn't Letterman have on his show lately the winner from the last poker world series? he was like a rookie too, and pissed everyone off by winning.

By Dougie on Thursday, August 21, 2003 - 06:57 pm:

    I haven't watched Letterman in ages -- not for lack of wanting to -- I just can't stay up that late anymore. Getting old sucks. Was his name Phil Ivey?

By sarah on Friday, August 22, 2003 - 05:36 pm:

    shoot i don't remember. he won A LOT of money though.

    so hasn't anyone else seen For Love Or Money, or are you just too embarrassed to admit it. i'd understand if you were.

By J on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 11:09 am:

    I have not seen it,don't think I ever even heard of it,is it on regular t.v.? I have been watching Queer Eye on the Straight Guy and I love it.

By kazoo on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 11:43 am:

    I had no interest in seeing For Love or Money. Joe Millionaire was enough for me and although I am curious to see how they are going to pull the new one off, I doubt I will pay any attention to it. Queer Eye is wonderful. Did you see when they were on Leno? We missed that one.

    And now for something completely different...

    I just had to cancel my credit card due to suspicious activity. Two separate $1 charges to some companies I've never heard of.

    It seems as though I am physically unable to drink coffee anymore. There was a spider in tea this morning.

By Spider on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 12:23 pm:

    Sorry. :Þ

    Yesterday, a roach crawled up my leg when I was in my bathroom.


    Let's just say that a few minutes later, my neighbor knocked on my door and asked if I was all right.

    She's had roach problems in her bathroom, too. I suspect the leaky pipes in our apt. building are involved. My bathroom ceiling is still in disrepair from the pipe burst back in May, and I've asked maintenance to patch it up twice. Sons of bitches.

    There was a dead roach in my bathtub last night. These mammajammas are big, too - about 2 inches long. I cleaned the tub and then tried to take a bath, but I couldn't relax. I was paranoid that a roach was going to drop on my head or crawl down the wall behind me. GAH.

By eri on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 12:28 pm:

    I was out with some friends last night and we were walking along the riverwalk to a night club and my friend Sarah screamed and ran and said "Ewww look at the crickets" my friend K just looked back and said "That's a cockroach stupid". Out here they are sometimes bigger than the soles of my shoes. It's gross.

By kazoo on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 12:30 pm:

    mammajammas. you're so cute, I can't stand it. I'd love to incorporate that word into my vocabulary, but it's a but lengthy so it may take a while.

    Spider, had you shown up floating in my tea this morning, I would have been thrilled. It would have been like when alice showed up in Tom Petty-Mad Hatter's tea in the video for "Don't Come Around Here No More."

    I'm sorry about your roach problem. They call roaches "palmetto bugs" here in Atlanta, which makes them less horrible I guess.

    My new neighbor has a kitten that shreiks and it sounds like s/he's awfully sad. Did you know that Sem doesn't refer to cat's owners as their owners, but as their "friends"? Isn't that cute?

By Spider on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 12:45 pm:

    Aw, thanks, Kazoo. :)

    Anytime you'd like to call someone an asshole or worse, but you'd like to be more delicate about it, bingo! Mammajamma it is. (I'd also recommend viewing the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episode of "The Hellcats" on DVD...that's where I picked it up from.)

    Roaches...bigger....than your....foot? Ohhhhhhh, man. I hate bugs to begin with, but when it comes to roaches, hatred/fear is mixed with profound revulsion and horror. They make me sick to my stomach. Even dead. UGH!

By TBone on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 12:49 pm:

    I'm thrilled to say that I've never seen a roach in person.
    But I've been bitten twice by hobo spiders.

By kazoo on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 01:06 pm:

    "(I'd also recommend viewing the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episode of "The Hellcats" on DVD...that's where I picked it up from.)"

    This is why you need to come to Emory and be my friend.

By TBone on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 01:18 pm:

    I'm getting a pretty respectable MST3k collection going. I've got Hellcats, but don't think I've watched it yet.
    I didn't even know you could get those things on DVD though. I've been downloading.

By Spider on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 01:42 pm:

    I've acquired about 7 solo episodes and one 4-volume set in the last month, because I am mad, mad, mad, and cannot control my spending.

    I have:

    *"Manos," the Hands of Fate (Really, this is the quintessential MST3K episode, and no home should be without it. Plus the DVD comes with a cute bloopers special thingy.)

    *The Crawling Hand (old episode from the first season. Tom Servo had a different voice and there was Dr. Larry Ernhardt instead of TV's Frank)

    *The Hellcats


    *I Accuse My Parents

    *Mitchell (Joel's last episode *sob*)

    *The Beginning of the End

    *The second 4-vol set, which has Angels Revenge (really, truly bad), Cave Dwellers (Miles O-Keeffe = good), Pod People (very painful, but ultimately rewarding), and a set of 6 shorts (excellent -- includes the terrifying "A Date with Your Family").

    The really sad thing is that the company that's releasing the DVDs can't get rights to most of them, so the best episodes are unavailable. My favorite episode of all time was The Amazing Collosal Man, and it was released a few years ago and then pulled because of rights issues.

    If only I had a high-speed connection at home. They'd kill me here if I downloaded any episodes.

By Dougie on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 01:47 pm:

    I'm psyched -- Amazon just sent my Mr. Show Seasons 1-3 DVDs today.

By Spider on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 01:48 pm:

    I spelled "colossal" wrong! What a maroon.

By Spider on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 01:49 pm:

    Season 3 of Mr. Show is out?? Off to Amazon...

By Rowlf on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 03:32 pm:

    it comes out tomorrow...

    and the Mr. Show movie, "Run Ronnie Run", hits video in September as well...

By sarah on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 06:07 pm:

    i'm dating a guy named David Cross.

By TBone on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 06:17 pm:

    Spider, all mine are DivX (or similar) format. A high-speed home connection still can't beat the bandwidth of a padded envelope stuffed full of burned cds.
    I'm all about sharing my dirty little obsession.
    Plus, it's my duty. Gotta "Keep circulating those tapes!"

By semillama on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 06:34 pm:

    By day, he's David Cross, mild-mannered physician of the nether parts.

    By night, he's...Doctor Ass!! Defender of the Right to get Bootylicious!!!

By wisper on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 07:06 pm:

    my god, he's a surfing ass doctor named David Cross??

    hump this man. HUMP HIM GOOD.

    Do any of you have the David Cross 2cd spoken word comedy album? It's called "Shut Up You Fucking Baby!"

    Its of immediate importance that all of you buy it this instant.

    Although, i think one entire disc is nothing but religion bashing, because he's a Jewish athiest that grew up in the south.

    For example, he tells the story of sleeping over at a friends house when he was little, and the mother asks: "uh, Davey? .....Do y'alls people eat oatmeal? I can never remember!"

    anyway, it's crucial. Yes.

By agatha on Monday, August 25, 2003 - 11:42 pm:

    I'm glad his name isn't Christopher Cross, is all I have to say.

    How are things going with the ass doctor, Sarah? Is there any tingaling to the whole affair?

By Hal on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 01:57 am:

    Never seen a Roach here in Montana.

    And as for being bitten by Hobo's like TBone. I live in a basement, like he use to, I fight a daily war with the Hobos, but I use biological warfare (the cat) on their asses, so I'm winning. Have yet to be bitten.

By Nate on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 02:08 am:


By moonit on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 03:29 am:

    We don't get cockroaches, but we do get these fuckers

By Spider on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 10:08 am:

    Nasty. At least roaches don't bite.

    TBone....are you....offering to hook me up with the goods?

By semillama on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 10:14 am:

    Apparently a weta is one of the bugs visible fleeing from the black rider's first appearance in Fellowship of the Ring, when he's trying to sniff out the hobbits and all the creepie crawlies are wiggling over the hobbits.


By sarah on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 11:35 am:

    dr ass is flying to hawaii for a couple days next week so we can surf together, and he wants to meet my dad.

    meet him again, that is.

    coincidentally he's already met my dad briefly, back when dr ass was living in hawaii, shortly after i moved to austin.

By kazoo on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 11:39 am:

    I thought of you Sarah this weekend when Sem and I went to see Tides and Rivers and the trailer for Step into Liquid came on.

By Nate on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 11:51 am:

    uh. so, sarah- when he, uh, met your, uh, dad briefly, was it, uh, you know, an, uh, professional call?

By patrick on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 01:03 pm:

    i forsee nate exploiting the ass end of your puckering relationship with this ass doctor to no end sarah.


By semillama on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 01:05 pm:


By sarah on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 01:54 pm:

    heh, thankfully no. that would be too creepy. they met at a yard sale of one of our mutual friends. (my dad is friends with my friends back home.)

    bring on the ass jokes, that shit cracks me up. i think of them all the time when we're together and mostly i hold my tongue. not because he'd be offended, but because he already has heard them all.

By Nate on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 02:29 pm:

    patrick, i would never exploit ass to no end.

By TBone on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 04:06 pm:

    Spider -- Yup.

By Spider on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 04:25 pm:

    You rock, soul brother. Check your email...

By semillama on Tuesday, August 26, 2003 - 04:55 pm:

    "...And here is my ultimate creation - a monkey with 12 asses"

By TBone on Wednesday, September 3, 2008 - 02:42 pm:

    The MST3k silhouettes appeared on our local NBC broadcast during the Olympics a few weeks back. It was surreal, and almost nobody on the Internets believed me.

    Then one of the people involved tried to guilt trip me about the whole thing by telling me he'd been fired, when he hadn't.

By Nate on Wednesday, September 3, 2008 - 05:01 pm:

    i recently had a pint of moose drool off a keg in berkeley. good stuff. i like it better than newcastle.

By TBone on Wednesday, September 3, 2008 - 11:01 pm:

    It's certainly popular around here. I had a Japanese teacher who liked it a lot. She called it Musu Dururu.

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