an assortment of songs of yesteryear (mainly of a concupiscent nature, for some reason) that made me nauseous Worst music you've ever heard: an assortment of songs of yesteryear (mainly of a concupiscent nature, for some reason) that made me nauseous
By Nelly on Sunday, March 22, 1998 - 08:49 pm:
    funny you should ask that question.

    i was finally able to get to my filing cabinet today, and was rummaging around for something else that i didn't find, but i did find this list on a crumpled piece of paper. don't know how long that paper was in the file, but can guarantee it's been there way before Dave Barry was ever heard of... just waiting for you to create this message board

    so here's the list, as written, in no particular order, and not necessarily representative of my current opinion, probably not, my stomach gets upset at different things now, am not going to go back and listen to these songs now, maybe someone at K-Tel will read this and make a compilation album

    UPCHUCK (this is the title on the piece of paper)

    If I Said You Have a Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me / Bellamy Bros.

    Do That To Me One More Time / Captain and Tenille

    Rub It In
    Fall In Love With Your Wife
    Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me
    and everything else written by Mac Davis

    Kiss You All Over / Exile

    Knock Three Times / Tony Orlando

    Lightening Striking Again
    (i didn't have an artist but i think this is Lightnin' Strikes / Lou Christie)

    Sometimes When We Touch / Dan Hill

    Having My Baby / (Paul Anka)

    Chevy Van / Sammy Johns

    a trio from Barry Manilow:

    Can't Smile
    I Write The Songs
    Looks Like We Made It

    Afternoon Delight / Starland Vocal Band

    Jean / Rod McKuen

By Dave on Sunday, March 22, 1998 - 09:13 pm:
    I like Rod McKuen. I have a bunch of his records. They're good for scratching. He's dope. Even back when I was like 5 or 4, I knew that song "having my baby" was fucked up. Who's Dave Barry?

By Miss Informative on Sunday, March 22, 1998 - 09:25 pm:
    he's this guy who writes a column for a newspaper in Florida, that gets syndicated a lot of places. He has some books, including this one

By Sorabji on Sunday, March 22, 1998 - 09:31 pm:
    i disagree about Dan Hill.

    everything else, though, makes me keel over. Especially "If I Said You Have a Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me."

    What kind of asshole would say that?

By Nelly on Sunday, March 22, 1998 - 10:17 pm:
    well, it's sort of a play on words... tongue in cheek, so to speak...

By Comprehensile Merchandise on Monday, March 23, 1998 - 01:06 am:
    Is that an excuse? "sort of" seems to be the operative phrase, if so.

    I've known assholes who've said that. Nobody I'd let into MY house.

By Markus on Monday, March 23, 1998 - 07:34 pm:
    Nelly, my dear, you may be nauseated, but never nauseous. Take my word for it.

By Nelly on Monday, March 23, 1998 - 10:16 pm:
    Noxious, maybe...

    How sweetly you corrected my usage error.

By Pete on Saturday, March 28, 1998 - 11:51 pm:
    "Worst That Could Happen" by Brooklyn Bridge.

    Girl, I heard you're getting married...yechhhh!

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Sunday, March 29, 1998 - 08:21 am:
    Come on guys we are forgetting the very worst of them all. The one most likely to fill emergency rooms across the country with nausea cases:

    "You Light Up My Life" - Debby Boone, AND for some inascertainable reason, LeAnn Rimes. FUCK. Why did I use such a big word like inascertainable? I don't even know if I spelled it right.

By The Committee on Sunday, March 29, 1998 - 09:11 am:
    You are most inexplicably right, for some unascertainable reason. Ms. Boone and Ms. Rimes really should be at #1. At least, until someone thinks of something worse.

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Sunday, March 29, 1998 - 12:59 pm:
    Dear Committee,

    Thank you for the clarification on in/unascertainable.


    Jim aka PajamaBoy :)

By Merle W. Heller on Sunday, March 29, 1998 - 07:35 pm:
    Smaller words please. Us rednecks is here too.

By John on Saturday, April 4, 1998 - 04:03 pm:
    There have been some real stinkers listed. My additions would be "Strangers In The Night" esp.
    when Frank Sinatra sings it. "Muskrat Love" by Captain and Tenille. I will remove myself from a room to avoid listening to these two putrid pieces.

By PetRock on Sunday, April 5, 1998 - 03:05 pm:
    Muskrat Love - I agree.

    Strangers In The Night - I disagree. That's Frankie you're talking about.

By Stilgar on Monday, April 6, 1998 - 10:05 am:
    I once heard this really shitty song by a group called The Space Monkeys. It was called "Sugarcane." It sucked.

By Dave on Friday, April 10, 1998 - 06:23 pm:
    everyone knows it's windy

By N on Saturday, April 11, 1998 - 02:11 am:
    Did anyone hear on NPR yesterday morning, they were talking about a 70's compilation some record company put out, "Party Killers" or something, it had about 6 of these songs on it...

By Robert on Tuesday, April 21, 1998 - 12:25 am:
    I love women who play music or like musician *smile*

By Sean on Sunday, May 3, 1998 - 07:23 pm:
    I remember some of those song titles like:
    Rub it in, and Kiss you all over. (I liked those songs)

    Here's my list of the ones that SUCK!

    "Natural Selection" by Natural Selection (early 1990s)
    "Boot Scoot Boogie" makes me wanna pull out my "9" and lock on to the jukebox. CHK!BWAM!! "Yippee Kay Yay, Mutha Fucka!"

    "Brick" Ben Folds Five -> This song should make a good idea for a parody by "Weird Al". The chorus is OKAY! The rest of the song sounds like a funeral dirge!

By Cretinic on Tuesday, May 19, 1998 - 02:17 pm:
    I think the list that began this string really summed up the all around SUCKY musical experience that is America in the last 30 years. Especially "Afternoon Delite". GOD, WHAT GARBAGE!!!!

By Jeffrey Scott Holland on Sunday, June 28, 1998 - 09:29 pm:
    What's wrong with all these songs? Sure they're crass, silly, insubstantial and pointless, but so are most human beings. Get over yourselves - it's only pop music. There are only seven whole notes, seven flats, and seven sharps. Elton John, The Sex Pistols, Barry Manilow, Marilyn Manson, Village People, The Clash, Elvis, Green Day, Frank Sinatra, Kiss, Laurie Anderson, Bing Crosby, Notorious B.I.G., Kraftwerk, Glenn Miller, Pet Shop Boys, Reba McEntire, Van Halen, Debby Boone, Gwar, The Mills Brothers, Ozzy, Devo, B.B. King, Tiny Tim, Emerson Lake & Palmer, Dead Kennedys, Spice Girls, Tori Amos....IT'S ALL THE SAME. The only difference between them is all in your heads. Try having autonomy of taste sometime.

    Oh, and by the way, Groucho Marx was the original source of that "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me" line....

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Sunday, June 28, 1998 - 09:40 pm:
    Mr. Holland, while you bring up a good point, it's all in people's taste. Unfortunately all too often people's only tastes are in their mouths.

    *slickwilly grin*

By Martin on Sunday, June 28, 1998 - 09:48 pm:
    Groucho Marx, damn! Yeah, they don't make assholes like that anymore!

By Carrie on Tuesday, July 14, 1998 - 04:24 pm:
    Afternoon Delight / Starland Vocal Band...I never knew who sang that. It's the weirdest thing, though...that song is one of my very first memories. I just remember hearing it by the pool, running around, glad the sun was out. I hear it now, and I know if it wasn't connected by those particular brain neuron paths, I would think it sucked. Well, ok, it does suck, but for sentimental reasons I can't really hate it. Such is life.

    By the way, I play drums in a Cincinnati band called Radiolaria. We're playing at Fez under the Time Cafe on Monday, July 20 (380 Lafayette Street, New York, NY 10003, Tel: 212-533-7000, FEZNYC@AOL.COM).

    ...and I have a compulsion for shameless self-promotion...

    "On Fuzz is Verse, Radiolaria proves why they are the king and queens of the Cincinnati underground. The album has a sweeping, narcoleptic flow that gives the tracks a mesmerizing sway that caresses the eardrum while retaining a raw, endearing edge. Alternating between male and female vocalists, the group keeps things interesting and dynamic, while musically the band is capable of sonic outbursts that never disturb the hypnotic ebb. If you must have a comparison, think Sonic Youth without any ugly noise or a K Records band with better songs and a wider musical palette."
    --Mike Breen - CityBeat

By CarrieAnn on Wednesday, July 15, 1998 - 12:57 am:
    Sorry, had to come and see who was using my name. ;) And you're in a band too? Heh, right on.

    "Sky rockets in flight... afternoon delight!"

By Southie on Monday, September 14, 1998 - 09:44 pm:

    I was asked to listen to icp (Insane Clown Posse) guess it doesn't exactly fit into the subject...since it's not very old, nor popular, but TOUGH SHIT! Well anyway, so i put the cd in and put it on a random track. Then i hear over and over again with screaming and psychotic sounding voices "great milenko...great milenko" and so forth. It's kinda catchy, i'll admit. But it has been 4 days and that fucking song is still in my head. During my biology test i sat there and sang "great milenko" in my head and did terrible on it. It is evil. Do not listen to it. It will rot your brain.

By Mr. Sheepington on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 - 03:11 am:

    mambo #5 without a doubt! Does any one actualy like top 40 radio? I cant fathom someone siting thinking "oh boy oh boy! I cant wait till the next time they play that song again! It was cool when I heard it 6 times yesterday and Its gonna be rad when I hear it for the 5th time today!"

By Jim aka Pajama on Tuesday, December 21, 1999 - 08:24 am:

    Mambo #5 is actually an excellent number to skate by. It's not worth much else though.

By agatha on Friday, November 17, 2006 - 12:34 am:

    Huey Lewis and the News anything at all.

    "We Built this City on Rock and Roll."

By sarah on Friday, November 17, 2006 - 01:18 am:

    Air Supply.

By Spider on Saturday, November 18, 2006 - 11:17 am:

    Blue Oyster Cult, "I Am the One You Warned Me Of."

    Just the chorus (which is the title). I can't get that out of my head.

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