I'm homeless.

sorabji.com: What are you doing here?: I'm homeless.

By moonit on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 01:25 am:

    Okay not under a bridge homeless, but between abode's homeless.

    Our landlords decided to put our house on the market, and it sold at the first open home. We have about four weeks now to find a new place and because we have Reese the red devil dog now, its fucking hard.

    And its my birthday next friday and I got an email from my mum that says...

    'due to us moving I have to give a deposit, so your present might be late'....



    fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

By dave. on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 02:02 am:

    it is hard to find a rental when you own a dog. i don't know what the mortgage situation is in nz but, here in the states, it's almost easier to buy a place, than to find a rental that isn't an overpriced shithole.

    good luck.

By dave. on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 02:07 am:

    oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    don't worry about the present deficit from moms. it'll be ok.

By droopy on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 02:25 am:

    happy birthday, moonit.

    i saw my mom today. some guy is trying to bilk money out of her over a house and she may lose her job just 3 years shy of retirement. she's running off to colorado. i may never see again.

    well, i probably will. but who knows.

By dave. on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 02:57 am:


By patrick on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 12:19 pm:


    moonie, my house is on the market too. however California has strict guidelines to prevent owners from basically kicking you out with 4 weeks notice. laws that were established to protect rent controlled areas from being bought and tenents being booted and rentals rates being jacked.

    when the house goes to escrow, typically thats 30 days. then, if all goes well, new owner has to give us 60 days notice to move out, plus at least $3300 in relocation monies, more if we were both on the lease. right now its just her.

    so, at the very least we will have 90 days or, thats assuming the new owner wants to move in.

    and thankfully were not having a hard time finding dog friendly places. people mostly love dogs in CA.

    thankfully my dipshit landlord has his property way overpriced, is getting no offers after 8+ weeks on the market. if he pulls it, damn right we'll be threatening to leave if he doesnt reduce our rent. it will not only cost him money while we move out in lost rent, but he wont be able to get what we are currently paying as the market has taken a dip in the last year.

    yayyyyy BUYERS market!

By patrick on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 12:20 pm:

    surely you have laws moonie protecting you in this situation.

By sarah on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 01:18 pm:

    if you can get to Austin, you and your dog can live with me as long as you need to, for free. well, you have to pay for your own dog food.

By Nate on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 01:39 pm:

    [09:29] mikey: I used to have a Labrador retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Walmart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
    [09:29] mikey: I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, black guy who was behind her.
    [09:30] mikey: Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought the black guy was going to have to stagger out the door.

By patrick on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 01:47 pm:

    Gaines Burgers? remember those? They actually looked like raw beef patties, so real youngers brothers across America were fooled into eating them, with cheese on top.

By droopy on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 01:51 pm:

    certain types of cat food make great beer nuts.

By Nate on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 02:01 pm:

    weren't you the youngest brother, patrick?

By patrick on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 02:17 pm:

    yes. but this did not happen to me.

By moonit on Saturday, July 29, 2006 - 02:22 am:

    we have got laws. And the law was 60 days notice from confirmation. And because we fuck about so much we're down to four weeks. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I love renting.

    In other moonit news we organise a joint bank account today to actually start saving for our own house. Yeah.

By Czarina on Saturday, July 29, 2006 - 05:33 am:

    Droop, that was a good job you did cheering moonit up about having to move.Interjecting your mom into the story,and all.

    But seriously, sorry to hear about your moms troubles. I'm sure you'll see her.A nice vacation to Colorado is always welcome.

    Moonit, I'm sure mum'll come up with a present,it'll just be kinda late.Everybody loves presents. Moms know this. AND, happy happy birthday to you!

    We were at Sam's club a few months back, and they always have samples of food to try, and we passed this plump kid who was displaying 2 kinds of dry dog food, and my s/o walks over and pops some in his mouth, and I can hear him crunching away, and he's says something to the effect of, "Ooooh, I really like this new formula, its much crunchier than the old!"I, and the plump kid kinda stare at him in amazement, and he just smiles and we walk off.He tells me later, he had a piece of hard candy in his mouth he was crunching on. I felt much better when he told me that.

By droopy on Saturday, July 29, 2006 - 11:35 am:

    sory about that. late night posts often don't turn out well. what i meant to say was: my mom will fine, moonit will be fine. i feel it. good luck.

By Dr Pepper on Sunday, July 30, 2006 - 11:39 pm:

    Mortage and Cost of house one of these day are driving me nut. I was thinking about moving far away places like 5 acres mile where no one is living closer to you. It is called survivor rettreat. I don't need people who spamming in our lives, like TV commerical selling insurance, but there is competioner, now I see early hour of Sunday morning His name is Charlton Sheets. talking about how to make profit by selling or rent, and now, that stupid bald headed guy talking about free cd on how to learn microsoft shit and stuff, then I also see a fat guy doing a demo selling the ladder. Ugggh, All i wanted was to watch a classic old flicker, but ,nowaday ,I have been nelglected and abused by a spammer. Now ,I think of buying a few acres of barren land out there where no one can been seen and I like to be left alone. I wasn't happy anymore. Since my Son ,and his mother and his stepfather passed away due to the Tornado that took their life at their home. They enjoyed living in the country, despite of Financial times and they lives in adouble wide mobile home that been destroyed by a tornado few months back. She, my ex-wife told me that she and her husband ,did in fact filed for bankrupty. But , all of them are now in peace. ,I feel bad about them. I can imaged tha they been through a very difficult times.

By sarah on Monday, July 31, 2006 - 02:35 pm:

    it's almost like reading Everything Is Illuminated.

By wisper on Monday, July 31, 2006 - 08:33 pm:

    i like it. it's soothing in a strange way.

By agatha on Monday, July 31, 2006 - 08:54 pm:

    It's v's brother!

By Czarina on Monday, July 31, 2006 - 09:41 pm:

    Or, maybe v's other finger.

By jack on Monday, July 31, 2006 - 11:25 pm:

    or, mayhap, agent d

By jack on Monday, July 31, 2006 - 11:28 pm:

    and let me point out: that is not a critical or negative comment on these personalities.

    i do not need people who spamming in our lives, like TV commerical selling insurance, any more than homeboy does.

By dave. on Monday, July 31, 2006 - 11:54 pm:

    i love berzerk syntax.

By dave. on Monday, July 31, 2006 - 11:57 pm:


By Antigone on Tuesday, August 1, 2006 - 12:12 am:

    The Z gives it edge, man.

By Nate on Tuesday, August 1, 2006 - 12:13 am:

    means "bear shirt".

    "warp spasm" is even cooler.

By dave. on Tuesday, August 1, 2006 - 12:38 am:


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