So, can they or what? Can men and women just be friends?: So, can they or what?
By Holden on Sunday, March 22, 1998 - 09:36 pm:
    I seems like I get challenged with variations of this question all the time, in different ways. When Harry met Sally tried to look at it. They might have thought they reached a conclusion, but I don't think so.

    Maybe the sex thing does get in the way.

    Maybe that's not a problem.

By Dave on Sunday, March 22, 1998 - 09:54 pm:
    At this point in our evolution, no. With the exception of a few mutants, sexual tension will muck up a platonic relationship between any dyad, hetero, homo, bi, or other. Waaaaah!

By Fauna on Sunday, March 22, 1998 - 10:40 pm:
    Say one is 17 and the other is 67... still?

    Ok this topic deserves some deeper thought.

    Is there ANY attraction that doesn't have some sexual it there somewhere...

    (all you psychologistes can romp about on that one)

By Gettin Busy on Monday, March 23, 1998 - 01:01 am:
    Ugh......are you guys serious?

By Edwin Newman on Monday, March 23, 1998 - 11:18 am:
    Make your point, GB.

By Plato on Friday, April 10, 1998 - 01:04 am:
    sex - operational, may just be mechanic, yet we declare it euphoric.
    as long as sex is euphoric absitinence and platonism may never exist.
    theoretic of course!

By Kelsey on Friday, April 10, 1998 - 02:45 am:
    i have male friends that i am not in the slightest bit attracted to. i'm not sure how they feel about it, though, although i believe it's the same for them. so, nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, dave.

By Dave on Friday, April 10, 1998 - 12:00 pm:
    Well, you're a mutant. Of this, I am certain. Perhaps they are as well.

By Kelsey on Friday, April 10, 1998 - 07:02 pm:
    i'm sorry, did you just call me a mutant? i'ma kick yo ass when you get home, willis!

By Alien in a can on Sunday, May 10, 1998 - 07:19 am:
    yeah, but thier really hard to find. usually hiding behind the 'springfield pyshotic ward' sign. naw, really, you can have friends from the opposite sex, but they're just hard to find.

By Bill on Saturday, July 25, 1998 - 02:42 pm:
    Off course

By Wiseguy on Wednesday, January 6, 1999 - 04:18 pm:

    Yes, they certainly can! Once they get hot, juicy sex out of the way by fucking like rabbits.

By Bagpuss on Thursday, January 7, 1999 - 07:25 pm:

    They can be friends, only if the one that's in love NEVER tells the one that isn't.

    I used to think it odd that all my opposite-sex friends just happened to be gorgeous. No it's just the way it is.

By Margret on Monday, February 15, 1999 - 01:47 pm:

    Hmm. This is an interesting issue. I have male friends I have the hots for, male friends that would do in a pinch, and male friends I'd really rather never, ever run the slightest risk of seeing naked. And then there's the special category: ex-boyfriends. I'm not friends with all of my ex-boyfriends, but I am friends with all of those I was never embarassed about. I have to admit that I do think of the hot and passable male friends as sort of being on a temporal-situational "back-burner," but I guess I don't see the sexual tension as interfering with the friendship, maybe because most of my ex's started off as and ended up as very close friends. If you take Platonc to mean that the relationship isn't defined by an existing sexual interest, then all of my friendships with men are platonic and I have every faith they would survive sexual armageddon.

By Sheila on Monday, February 15, 1999 - 02:03 pm:

    i was thinking but Margret, you aren't considering their side of it. and then i thought why should you have to?

    i absolutely cannot get involved in this.

    i would be drinking again within hours.

    it's all their fault; that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

By Cyst on Monday, February 15, 1999 - 04:51 pm:

    I was just thinking that it's nice to have enough friends that you can afford to temporarily lose half or so to relationships and marriages. at first I thought that marriage meant losing them altogether, but now I realize that is not the case. not because you can necessarily still be friends with people who are married, but because marriage is a temporary situation.

    then I thought that I should really make it a point to attend all my friends' weddings, regardless of time and distance factors, because the marriages whose weddings I attend seem to have an 80 percent failure rate.

By Margret on Monday, February 15, 1999 - 10:01 pm:

    Uh...just to add a little sumpin' sumpin' to the pot, I'm pretty straightforward and if I have tension with a guy buddy which I perceive to be one way the wrong way (him digging me) or mutual, then I talk about it. The only time I EVER told a guy the truth about why I'd never seriously considered him, he was flattered, because it was none of those wierd things guys find flattering (I'd heard through the grapevine that he had an ENORMOUS schlong, and having dated guys with that problem before and tried to work on it I can safley say it ain't worth it -- IT HURTS). Usually I explain that I'm incredibly monogamous for however long a relationship lasts, and I like having crushes and I find attention flattering, but I wouldn't cross the street for either of those. Works ok. What side wasn't I considering it from? If someone can't deal with it, I say "screw 'em," because they eventually would've manifested some other characteristic or behavior that would've destroyed our friendship.
    And, btw, almost all of my ex-boyfriends dumped me. One of them told me later (and I polled the rest of them subsequently and received general agreement) that I make someone feel very well loved, and I make them feel special, but I don't make them feel UNIQUE because they know I still love most of my ex's with all my heart and I refuse to ever play the "why you're the best" game. Sigh. Oh well, at least they felt loved (I never thought it was my job to make anyone feel unique -- and I KNOW FOR DAMNED SURE it wasn't their job to make ME feel unique).

By Bagpuss on Tuesday, February 16, 1999 - 06:28 am:

    Do you get the look that says "you're fantastic why don't I love you?" when you're being dumped.
    It's sort of confused with a tinge of regret.

    The number of times I've been dumped by someone who's crying is freaky.

    I always found it sort of selfish to declare your love for someone who considers you a friend. But there again, I know I can deal with it I just wish everyone else could.

By Gee on Tuesday, February 16, 1999 - 06:58 am:

    My best friend is the gender I am not (eh?). But then I'm convinced that, for him, the part of the brain that thinks up sextypestuff is broken. Or perhaps he was nuetured at an early age...

    Either way, the only issue is that it's a non-issue, which I suppose makes it an issue...

By Pink Eye on Tuesday, February 16, 1999 - 11:17 am:

    Hey Bag!--
    Say "arse" for me one more time. PLEASE!!! So cool that you don't feel like assimulating. You say arse, I say ass..arse, ass...........

By Bagpuss on Tuesday, February 16, 1999 - 04:52 pm:

By Pink on Tuesday, February 16, 1999 - 09:08 pm:

    IIIIIIIIII love it!

    thanks for my daily arse fixin'

By Docdj23 on Friday, February 28, 2003 - 04:50 pm:

    Yes I believe that this can actually work but guidelines must be met and the person or persons trying to make it work must be what you call good looking "extraordinary" people.
    #1: The male/female must at least be sum sort of player or be in a relationship that is serious at the time.
    #2: There must be some sexual tension there and the male/female must be willing to acknowledge that it is there.
    #3. (THIS IS BIG) They must have a common understanding of the kind of person that each of them are.
    THats how I believe that males and females can be friends in life whith out ending up haveing sex in the future. ALso the male must see some benefit that is greater then the cost of not sleeping with a fine girl and getting made fun of by his friends while doing so. Im living proof

By agatha on Saturday, March 1, 2003 - 12:46 pm:

    Until you've changed your nickname, I'm afraid I can't communicate with you any further.

By Sponge Bob on Thursday, April 17, 2003 - 06:48 am:

    You have to think, do you want to be friends for the wrong reason? There is no way of telling or really ever knowing.
    From my experiance my whole life is better when I am friends with this girl rather than not, I have regretted telling her how I felt but if I did not I would always have wondered.

By sarah on Thursday, April 17, 2003 - 11:24 pm:

    kevin and i tried being friends. it worked for a while. then we started fucking occassionally. now i can't stand the sight of him again.

    but the sex was great!

By eri on Thursday, April 17, 2003 - 00:44 pm:

    My friend S was in a relationship with this guy. They got engaged. He was a shit to her. I am sure I have put previous posts about some of the shit he has said to her, and I believe that he was cheating on her, though I can't disprove his explanations, it all sounds like bullshit to me. He lied to her constantly and is an alcoholic. Not to mention he treats her kids like total shit, and he knew about them from the beginning. I really can't stand this guy. And I was supposed to be their matron of honor.

    So she gets rid of this guy. Says she just wants to be friends.

    She starts talking to my friend here and things are going well, they have so much in common. They talk constantly and make plans to see each other. Make plans for a date which if it goes as planned then they will work on a serious relationship. Things were going AWESOME between the two of them and he was concidering moving 1,000 miles away from here, just to be close to her. He said if things worked out he would completely support her and her kids so that she can go back to school full time and not have to worry about working. It was just exactly what the other person needed.

    During this time, she is fucking the ex fiance. No big deal, right, she has needs, they aren't married. The new guy didn't care at all. After all they are doing this thing long distance right now and are waiting to see if they still have chemistry in person before they make any kind of committment.

    She makes up some bullshit excuse why the new guy is an ass and is now back with the old loser. They are talking about marriage again.

    If sex comes into play, then friendships between the opposite sexes just don't work.

    With my guy friend (the one she just dumped) sex has never been an issue. There aren't uncomfortable moments where someone is thinking about attraction to the other or things like that. We are just good friends, as he is also good friends with Spunky. No pressure no stress, just friends and no problems with that.

    I do have this other guy friend. I will call him O. O and I were friends at first, but you could tell that he was attracted to me pretty early on. He has a girlfriend of many years and they have two kids together so I didn't worry about it, until he asked for naked pics of me. Now whenever he is around he is always checking out my ass (shows he is blind) and it is always uncomfortable, so we don't hang out together at all, just chat when we happen to run into each other at the park or something. So in this case, him thinking about sex ruined the friendship.

    OK I am babbling and will shut up now.

By Exploding belly on Thursday, May 22, 2003 - 05:33 pm:

    sex or beer.make your choice now.

By Meriem on Saturday, September 25, 2004 - 10:33 am:

    yes. why shouldn't women have boy like a friend? i think that will help us to know each other and to understand the diffences between us.

By Nate on Monday, September 27, 2004 - 01:07 am:

    unless the difference is that men don't want to know you. perhaps they just want to fuck you and have you go away?

By heather on Monday, September 27, 2004 - 02:21 am:

    people are infinitely disappointing

    especially me

By Antigone on Monday, September 27, 2004 - 03:09 am:

    At least you never disappoint to disappoint.

By Wallyb on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 09:29 am:

    trust me if a girl "friend" offers sex
    90% of guys will do it....the friend thing
    is just waiting to see what happens, if a guy
    says different hes lying...and if your a woman
    you should be able to tell that...

    we men think of only 1 thing unless were on the job and even then sex pops into the mind 50%
    of the time...this does drop off a bit after 50
    or so but its still there...

    so the real answer is no and yes...
    hows that for confusing...

By jinx on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 09:45 am:

    90% of straight guys.


By wisper on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 01:23 pm:

    chicks never thing of fucking.

By semillama on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 02:58 pm:

    Ficks never think of chucking, either.

By Gee on Wednesday, June 1, 2005 - 09:39 am:

    it's time for a break.

By Llamalover on Thursday, June 8, 2006 - 03:21 pm:

    so remind me again why friends cannot be "friends with benefits"? Wouldn't that be the easiest way to go through life? Barring STDs and the like...

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