I've been walking around, functionally depressed, for the last year or so. I think about suicide semi-often, but I know way in the back of my mind that it's not a viable option, the same way that I know that I can't go crazy at will.

please. don't get me started. i can go on for weeks.

Wake up, Wavy.

Just like you know smoking is bad for you but you don't care... Because you enjoy it right?

Right ON!

whenever i get depressed i stop drinking. that seems to do the trick. oh, and clean my house. detail my house, really. smoking pot helps you realize the cleaning opportunities.

hey, so does meph. I saw the commercial, man that woman's house was clean!

meph --? mephisto?

Crystal Mephamphetamine (SIC????)

meth?

Methamphetamines you should try them wavy don't turn this into an intervention, you know our sorry asses are no good at it. you sound like you KNOW what is right....so with that in mind..... do what nate does, actually i'd cut the weed before the sauce, but cleaning after a sat a.m bong load is a blast, put on your favorite stones album and multitask!! multitask!! multitask!!

i don't really smoke much weed anymore, so cutting the booze is a good lifechange. drinking also has a negative effect on energy and mood. i guess weed does too. nevermind.

When I'm depressed, I listen to Elastica. Good times.

god loves xanax achievers.

mmm.

I don't see any pillbottles, ropes or bloody baths in my future. For that matter, I don't see any pot either. I have one (1) beer in the fridge. I think what I really need is to get a couple more hours of sleep at night and meet a nice girl. Or start taking speed.

when i get depressed, if i start getting busy, it helps. as in: audition for a play, get the lead role. play cards with friends during lunch. go to as many writer's guild meetings as possible. go to a writer's conference halfway across the state. start volunteering for audubon. play in the metropolitan youth symphony...i could go on. but being busy always helped me. i can't afford to be depressed anymore.

abuse caffeine. abuse caffeine. abuse caffeine. the negative effects on mood won't show up for like 3 years or so.

Caffiene is my drug of choice. I just haven't had enough today. Anyone know why you get dark circles under your eyes when you don't sleep enough? I'm curious. Call me George.

I don't drink coffee anymore. That was sort of random. Sorry. Anyway. I do still drink black tea, though, so I'm not caffiene free. Black tea is yummy.

My cat's breath smells like catfood. Ok, so that wasn't random.

i'm addicted to weight-lifting and aerobic exercise. if i don't get in a minimum of three sessions a week, i start going into a mild depression that gets worse depending on how much i slack and how much i party. 10 days without pushing weight and fahgeddaboutit. i'm staggering around the city like some unholy spawn of eldridge cleaver and colonel kurtz. way too far up the river with my soul on ice. anyway, what was my point? try exercise. exercise often. it'll make you feel better. you might get addicted, but being addicted to exercise beats the hell out of fighting off the compulsion to eat a gun everyfuckingday.

I worked out last night!

you the woman! send me smints!

My arms hurt from this morning. anybody want crunchie bars? They had supersize ones on special and I bought heaps.

mmmmmm. crunchie bars.....mmmmmm yummy.

I will! Sheesh! I'll mail them off tommorrow first thing!

i still don't know wtf these smints things are. goddamnit. i'm thinking they're a quick way for the nsa to gather all our addresses.

They're mints. Manly mints. Palate-eroding, sinus-bulldozing, "*gaaaacck* *cough*," vitamin-fortified tiny mints that look like medicine and come in a self-dispensing little plastic box. And, according to this box, they are from Barcelona.

i NOW know what they are. thanks isolde, i think.... either that nate, or a quick way to off 10 people leaving little or no trace. FYI, I have saved my envelope, documented what details i know of this isolde cat, picture and all....

I abuse ciggaretts and caffine... My drug of choice coffee... Trace, umm, dude yeah METH, not MEPH... Had a little much have we?

all those JUMBO COCA COLA's must have an effect. Prehaps thats it?

I know. I look like something out of a nightmare in that photo. But so does Tom. We all do. I'm glad you guys are enjoying smints. I donw't understand why yours haven't arrived yet, Nate.

Swine, I tried to write you back to accept Hitler's dick, but the server refused me. Bleh. Anyway. Yeah. Getting mailed, I expect one pickled penis in return...

oh my. try throwing shoes around it helps. especially when one bonks someone in the head. i wonder what happened to that old pogo stick? wait. i must practice. i must practice. i must practice.

Isolde, this sounds like a weird thing to say, but I saw you offer me some smints and I'm sorry I never sent you my address, but I don't like mints, so I thought it would just be a waste for you. if you ever want to send me some pepsi cola, though, that would be swell. I'm working on my Pepsi's of the World collection. anyway, sorry I didn't respond to you waybackwhen. thanks for offering. you're a peach.

well, maybe the JUMBO COCA-COLA's have done it.... I thought there was a drug called meth. I am almost sure there is, but I do know the commercial to which I refer is for meph.. meph meth mesh what ever

They're more lemony that minty. If you're still interested...I do have a box here, so don't be shy.

isolde i didn't say or imply this "I know. I look like something out of a nightmare in that photo" you just look hot and sweaty, thats all, its hot and sweaty here.

I didn't mean to say you implied it, merely that that's how I think I look...

where is this alleged picture? i have seen a childhood picture, it's always fun to compare.

Has anyone here noticed a significant decrease in the power of Altoids? My last two tins have been absolutely mediocre. I used down two of them and offer them to people with a cheerful "They're curiously strong!" as a blast of peppermint power coursed through my sinuses. But that rings hollow in my ears now, so I don't share them as much. I bought some Penguin caffienated mints in Seattle a few weeks back. They're much more potent.

What?! Altoids have become impotent. What next?

Sad but true. What are we chronic coffee drinkers to do? Give up our daily cup o dirt?! I say NEVER!!!! Have you ever given an altoid to a dog? We tried altoids and smints with our dogs. My dog didn't care much. My roommate's ate 'em up.

Penguin mints rock. Altoids, I remember from my geltain eating days, were never really that strong. *sigh* Don't post the picture, Patrick, it's horrid.

I smeared a little Aim toothpaste on my cat's nose and mouth the other night when she jumped up on the sink to watch me brush my teeth. She made the most hideous-looking faces trying to lick it off herself. She ran away and moped. I felt bad.

Ever notice how every thread here, no matter how serious the original topic starts out to be, devolves into meaningless stupid shit like my post above? I guess that's why I like it here.

isolde those "hint" mints are vegan and they come in a nice silver sliding box too. mmmmmm, plant-derived clacium stearate...

i feel so left out. i'm going to go cry now.

I know they're vegan. YUM! Don'y cry, Agatha.

i've seen a picture of isolde.

i want one

So you have. I believe it was even a naked picture.

Oh, and sorry trace, but very special people in very special circumstances get Isolde pictures. You are not among them today.

gasp! heavens me.

Is it my turn to get Isolde pictures, huh huh huh?

dammmit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit

what about me?

i'm still waiting for nakies from cat and mavis.

excellent.........................

nate there is no way in hell i'm going to scan photos of my um, tropical paradise at work....can i just mail them?

Damn, Trace, some special reason you need these pictures? Ain't you married, honey? Maybe, Cat, but you must be very, very good. Or mummy will spank you _and_ not give you her pictures.

so we go from suicide... to drugs... to mints... to nekkid pics. nice. I'm trying to print negatives for a 160-page book and it's NOT WORKING!

*comf* Breathe, then try again, yo.

gotta wait until some other stuff clears the printer, then send the whole batch again. sigh isn't technology great?

Yup.

i'm still crying. well, y'all, i got to see isolde as a child. so, nyah.

It's true, you did. Lucky thing you never met me, because...boy howdy, you sure as hell wouldn't want to know me now. I was the most obnoxious, obsterperous, pain in the ass little brat you can imagine.

Trace, I haven't witnessed a tantrum like that since Lucy. Just for old times sake, everyone chant I just want my life back! I just want my life back!.............Where's Cletus when I need him......I guess I'll have to go find him

When Cooter an' ah start feelin' depressed we hoof it out back an' fuck some houn'doggies. Don't knock it till yo' tried it. A jug of co'n mash he'ps set th' mood, eff'n yo' knows whut ah meen, as enny fool kin plainly see. Maw allwas' said, "Kinky is when yo' use a feather, pervahted is yo's use th' whole chik'n". Ah guess thet makes Cooter an' ah th' county pervahts. Eff'n thet doesn't cheer yo' up thar's nothin' like a saturday night of "lawn jobs" an' blowin' up mail boxes wif homemade pipe bombs. SPECIAL DELIVERY!!! he.... he.... snort.... he.... he.... If yo' git whut ah meen, as enny fool kin plainly see.

Sorry about Cletus, but it's been too serious today.

Cletus and Cooter! YAY! I'm so glad to have you back! I lost my squirrel recipes, can you send me some more?

Did anyone read the article in the New Yorker about squirrel brains a few months back?

thanks for the offer, Isolde, but I'm not a lemon fan either. although I love my lemonade. I drink pink lemonade every day. I think it's the sugar. I don't like strawberries, but I love strawberry flavour, too. how weird.

sure, mavis. you can mail them to me.

That is wierd, Gee. But I guess you're a funny one anyway, eh?

Just part of Gee's many charms:)

dadburn cletus, wha is yo' allus draggin' me into yer pervahted sto'ies? i haf nevah messed wif no coon houn'dog in mah life. Maw is gonna haf yer hide when i tell her yo've been diddlin th' hounds agin. say, did Wanda tell yo' she's a knocked up agin? She says its mine, but ah knows fo' fack it's yourn. remeber thet night on th' trackta'? ah was in her backside, yo' were in th' front. um whut peggy jo told me, yo' kin't git pregnant in th' backside.Yo' better confess o' else she is gonna hoof it to th' judge an' git yo' me t'pay chile suppo't an' mama ain't gonna like thet

Wan'a knock up agin?! Ah betta' hoof it ovah ta' thet Greyhound an' check out them thar travel deals.

I dun hurd dat boys, you'ns come on home and git yur lick'ns

"Kinky is when yo' use a feather, pervahted is yo's use th' whole chik'n". Very funny!

Worst cutdown I've ever heard : "I would've been your daddy, but the dog beat me over the fence!" That was from a 4th grader, at a Christian summer camp, where I was a counselor for a couple of summers. My friend (and co-counselor) were stunned, appaled and amused at the same time when we heard it.

oh my.

you know I keep telling people who funny I am, but they never seem to believe me. next time I'll tell them "Isolde said so!" and then they'll know just how funny I am!

Yup. You have the official "Isolde Stamp of Funniness." I'm thinking about changing my real-world name to Isolde. What do you think? People would probably ask me to spell it all the time. Same as my real name, surprisingly, for how stupid it is, people wouldn't get it, which doesn't matter, since I get it, and nerds get it, especially nerds who know me. People probably wouldn't ask if it was my real name--it's a little unusual, but most people would nod and smile and say "yeah, that makes sense." So?

dont think about suicide. it means you are not really committed.

Plus then you have no one to blame.

sounds like you have alot to live for ... we re all gonna die , why not just wait !

Just to piss off the Grim Reaper,right?

I read the Book of Bunny Suicides at Barnes and Noble this weekend. Ok, real suicide is not funny in the least. but cartoons about bunnies committing suicide in highly inventive ways? Hilarious.

little ears coming out of the toaster?

YES. The one going through the venetian blinds is my favorite.

I love that stuff. . http://fractalcow.com/suicideboy/ . I made a bunch of tshirts of this guy in high school.

Not sure how often people check this, but i'd really like to know if anyone has a link to that Meth commercial that was mentioned toward the top of this page. Please send me an email if you do. Gliip@hotmail.com