THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
---|
Did it go OK? Has anyone purchased any of the online lists of foriegn pharmacies? Were they up to date? Worth purchasing? |
it's only been a few days now, but it appears that prozac's most notable effect is that it makes me giggly. i have been to hell and back in the last 14 days or so. i never called that guy back. i've been too depresed. all i've been doing is sleeping. during spring break last week - aside from SXSW festivities which were a wonderful distraction, a purgatory or sorts - all i did was get up, have breakfast, go to the gym or yoga, come home, have lunch, sleep from 2-6 p.m., get up if i felt like i could, eat some supper, and lay around on my couch watching videos on the tv and vcr that i am borrowing, or reading. i didn't want to do anything because i couldn't go surfing or boogie boarding or snorkelling or camping at the beach or watch the sunset or hang out with Jane and Iain, or Joan and Thomas, i was just too sad. then i had a total meltdown on saturday, basically i was catatonic the whole day, crying, etc. and on sunday i woke up and decided there is no reason for me to be so miserable. so i did three things: 1. promised myself that if i'm not happy by the end of the year, i'm moving back to hawaii in january of 2003. 2. promised myself to make a very concerted effort to get outside and do more things outdoors. i managed to wrestle up the energy to leave the house and go hiking by myself on sunday, and have plans with a girl i met on the internet (but not yet in person) to go for another hike this coming saturday. (her doberman's name is Shaka.) and i'm going to call a lady who advertises in the chronicle about taking a couple private rowing lessons on Town Lake. 3. started taking prozac. 10 mg a day. they say it takes a couple weeks to take effect, but i feel better already. this is the second or third day in a row i've gone without crying or wanting to cry, and i'm sleeping better (without valium), and i'm more focused at work, and generally just feel overall better, smoother, and happier. little things don't get to me like they have been in the last few months. things don't seem as serious. there's less anxiety. and i can't stop giggling. there's no narcotic effect. i don't feel high, in fact, i feel quite lucid and calm. it makes me sleepy when i take it at night, but not like valium does, or ambien or vicodin. it's not a groggy or hazy feeling, just a gentle sleepiness. i only have a 14 day supply and one refill, as prescribed by the gynecologist. i honestly feel like i really need the help right now, because my brain is not getting enough positive stimuli out of this life here on a day to day basis. in less than a year i went from being the happiest and healthiest i've ever been in my life to being the unhappiest, ugliest, and bored i've ever been, all on the path of chasing a stupid dream. better living through chemistry... sad, but true. i'm going to morocco in december. |
where are you? i've missed months, perhaps years of keeping informed via the message boards, or anything else. now i look and find such agita. it will take me days to read back and follow the path. prozac. i am relieved to hear you have it. you will find out why, sooner than you thought possible. can you catch me up? or summarize? i hope you know you can always come to the mountain. |
I am glad to know you are getting help. |
this a sign that your brains chemicals are being tweaked not about how depressed you are. i giggle a lot when i smoke a fatty but its no sign of how depressed i am. mommy's little helper to the rescue!!!! |
Zoloft made me break out in hives and writhe around on the floor screaming about "them," whoever "they" were. |
|
|
i would have sworn i would not now all i have to say is that it was great much better than not sleeping or eating for three days much better than not being able to do anything especially for no apparent reason |
|
you know me, never thinking the issue through |
dear sheila, there's no use in catching up, but i so much appreciate that you care enough to want to know. here is a brief summary: everything you warned me about kevin's is true. dig? love, sarah |
oh, and pot is boring. i got a big juicy bud shipped in from hilo that's been sitting in my refrigerator. whatever. been there, done that. |
AARGGGGH! Grief is natural! You're supposed to feel bad! It means you're alive! Those pills are for when you hurt that bad and no one's died. They're not to be taken any time one feels less than happy. |
|
considering suicide is scarier. |
i recall the following....heather, sarah, spider, hal, tbone, eri, others? Doesnt this seem like a terribly high number? |
|
oh yeah, paxil was the problem, not his obviously severe insanity. |
|
http://www.whatmeds.com/meds/elavil.html |
|
besides, mose psychological medications are overpriced corporate bullshit. they want you to be unhappy so you'll use their medications and make more money off of you. they don't care about your health. they just want your money. |
(1) quit job (2) sell your body (3) become a junkie |
|
those four years, they were teen years, right? at a certain point you stop functioning. it doesn't make any sense, but you can't think or meditate or bad habit your way out it. often you're in a situation that you can't or don't want to drop out of. i wouldn't have said these things before having been in the situation. sometimes medication works well. it was worth the money. |
the point is, like spider mentioned...we can't start taking pills to alleviate what is natural. im still proud to see your coming along. you seem like a perfectly normal, bright yound adult who is learning to lump everything into the "evil corporate monster" category. In due time you start to question the leafy-green all-natural is best school of thought because it too can be just as full of shit. I deal with a handful of new-age, "all-natural" grocery chains, Whole Foods, Wild Oats and some weird strains of lesbian, new age book shops and you know, they want to keep you happy so they can make money off you too, they just aren't comfortable admitting it. |
So yeah, Patrick, you can add me to your list. |
the drugs have nothing to do with this, nor will the drugs solve this. |
I did Prozac. Helped me. |
That paxil story frightens me. Sometimes I worry about what would happen if I suddenly stopped taking all my drugs. Nothing that dramatic, probably, but still that's really scary. |
I think my over-whelming optimism gets me through most things. Even when I'm looking longingly at lengths of rope I still have a little voice telling me that maybe one day I can use that rope to tie someone up rather than using it on my neck. |
|
Why is happiness is a warm gun then? Being emotionally stressed is being out of bullets. If I quit my job, I couldn't afford bullets. If I sold my body, well, I'd died prematurely of a sex-related disorder. If I became a junkie, I wouldn't know the difference between bliss and emotionally stressed, nor care. It's an adventure kids. A journey. A pilgrimage. Live it all, enjoy it all, be kind to fellow travellers, do things so you can sleep at night, help others anonymously, don't take too much too seriously anyway. Especially yourself. |
|
happiness is a warm gun because, when i hold it in my arms, i know nobody can do me no harm. i didn't get that feeling with paxil. guns, the anti-paxil. bang, bang, shoot, shoot. |
my thoughts on these drugs and the prescribing of them fall somewhere in between pez and sarah's gynecologist. i think they are neccessary sometimes, but it scares me how so many doctors today pass the scrips out like candy. |
what i took did not make me happy. i had happy moments that would flip very quickly into freaking out, and for no good reason. what i took stopped the spiraling vibration that kept me lying in bed for hours but never sleeping, and the buzzing in my head that prevented me from finishing a thought. |
let me put it to you this way. i went to see a counselor yesterday afternoon. if i had been in her office one week before starting prozac, i would have been a sniveling, panicked, freaked-out basket case. this is assuming i even would have had the ability to a) get out of bed, b) think clearly enough through a thick fog of anxiety to figure out the phone number to call for my health insurance to get a referral for a therapist and then c) call the therapist to make an appointment and d) drive myself to the appointment. instead yesterday i was able to fairly concisely and with some amount of clarity give her a brief history of my recent past, spell out all the areas in which i seem to be having major problems, what things i need and want to work on, and told her what i hoped to get from therapy - i.e., wanting to learn a variety of different life skills, coping skills, and willingness to utilize them and take concrete steps to affect change that hopefully will make me a happier, healthier person who won't need to take prozac just to stop crying and get out of bed in the morning. you know, like i used to be. |
i admit though to taking these drugs in an attempt to experience a high. if my pill book mentioned possible side effects as "dizziness, slurred speech, euphoria" and instructed you not to mix with alcohol....BANG it was in the que for experimentation. These drugs MADE me feel like most of you feel like with out your brain candy. I was jittery, couldnt sleep, chills, heard and saw things out of the corners of my eyes, sweaty palms, indecisive, "whisky dick" and so on. none of the "euphoria" i was promised by my pill book. which tells me one thing. my body didnt need them for getting high, muchless their normally prescribed intent. just like ritalin is speed to those who don't "need" it, these pills seemed to have the opposite effect. weird. where do you make the determination between self pity and chemical deficiency? Have we become conditioned to almost snowball a low period in our lives and convince ourselves we NEED these pills otherwise we'd be, like sarah describes. She implies a sense of impotency that she couldnt get over. How much of that (not in her specific case, but in general) is chemical and how much is self derived, and does it matter? |
i submit that there are few humans who do not use some substance or vice to mediate an inevitable (temporary or permanent) sense of impotency. every little vice is a sort of filter, something that comes between you and the world. or a system of vices. or just plain bad habits. all are a way of maintaining stasis - biochemically, emotionally, however you want to look at it. life is always mediated by *something*. before it was hiking and surfing and playing in a chick band and losing 125 lbs. but a life of smoking and drinking and engaging in various other "deviant" (in the least interesting sense) practices creates a modality, a framework within which your life is interpreted. certain things are perceived, certain things are experienced, certain things are felt deeply. but others... are not. all of this is arranged for you (and simultaneously by you) based on your biology, sociology, and behavior. maybe it's nicotine and forgetting to eat and drinking cheap beer. maybe it's sugar and fatty foods and making yourself vomit. maybe it's rock-climbing and shoplifting and sleeping with strangers. or colonic irrigation and raw foods and yoga. take your pick. the modality is an empty space that are filled, as a result of biology and sociology and behaviors, with certain thoughts, feelings, etc., but not others. based on the intensity of what we are allowed to feel within a given modality (which can be quite a lot) we decide that we are experiencing "everything" and we romanticize this, which further entrenches us in our modality. our lives, attenuated as they may be, can seem so dramatic, can make us feel impotent. living in a cheap hotel on the lower east side, learning to play classical piano, flirtations with adultery, "adventure trips" down whitewater rivers, moving to austin for "love". whatever. |
tonight im going to a professional hockey game...the opposing team has one of the greatest goal tenders ever named Patrick Roy (pronounces Wah). The home team fans most likely at some point will do a well known chant of "Paaaaatrick Paaaaaaatrick Paaaaatrick" meant to get him off balance. Im sure at some point during that chant, i'll squint my eyes tight, gulp my beer and pretened they mean me. |
|
|
sarah, as i see it, you're just taking care of business. i've always admired how honest you are with your feelings, and how in tune you are with what you need to feel balanced in your life. i have faith that you'll overcome whatever struggles you encounter from now to forever. to quote someone on mtv: you go, girl!!!!!!!! |
go sarah! go sarah! go sarah! go sarah! |
I saw a portion of "The Osborne's" the other night. a reality tv show dedicated to the life and times of Ozzy and his family. my god what a riot. |
I dont even know why I'm posting all this except that I probably just needed to tell someone. I also had a long talk with a friend, but that was before the screaming, when I was just feeling really depressed. |
|
|
hehehhehehehehhehehehehhehehehehehheheheheh |
|
hehehhehehehehehhehehehheheh I am so giggly today. |
..........two out of three's not bad...... some days you feel like a nut, some days you don't. |
Its a real,physiological illness.Chemicals in the brain,get out of wack. Dopamine and seratonin.Thats why sometimes the meds ARE nescessary. They are there to benefit the recipient.They are much better than living in a constant state of depression. They are not for everyone,but are invaluable to those whom they help. They usually take a few weeks to get a good level,and adjust to them. Seeking help is the right thing to do,when one is so despondent,that they can't enjoy life,or perform daily functions. There is no narcotic effect,or "high" from them.They just help the chemicals in the brain get back to their right porportions. Hang in there,Sarah. I'm not too far away if things get too tough. |
Ah, CZ, where you been? |
|
|
|
Customer Care Specialists available 8am-8pm, EST, every day. Toll-Free: 1-866-377-3727 Buy diet drugs, antidepressants, analgesics, viagra, skin medications etc...no prescription needed. |
Diet drugs, antidepressants, antiemetics, analgesics, analanythings, viagra, skin medications, gasoline, vasoline, analene, and various homemade less explosive CURES for boredom and bedroom. Lost love fixed free. Free rotted corpse exchange. Email for details. |
|
just shoot it back in, that's what i do |
|
Paxil it seems is very much like Prednizone. It's one of those medicines you should be weened from gradually. |
|
|
God almighty, why do people ask for medical advice on a message board instead of talking to their doctors? Idiots. |
There's this whole conspiracy theory hulabaloo around ritalin. |
Ritalin must be stopped in children at a certain age because at some point it has the opposit effect on them. |
|
|
fucking boring and ...ah, nevermind |
|
|
|
|
|
Getting off the Ritalin is good for your personality. I'll never understand why people would rather medicate than fix their shit. |
among other things. |
Most of the time fixing one's shit can be done without the aid of pharmaceuticals; just with a healthier lifestyle things can get better. |
. My inability to concentrate and the consequences of that dragged me into depression. . The medication has been showing me what it's like to be able to hold my attention on something when I need to. I only take half as much as I used to. |
|
|
My personal experience was negative and I was lucky to realize this at a young age and put a stop to it. Sometimes people don't need medication but they see the commercials and the doctors tell them they need drug x to live better. With the amount of money poured into the pharmeceutical industry I'm going to say bullshit. Most people out there are unwilling to take the time and make neccessary lifestyle changes so they will go into a cycle of medicating and going through the side effects. I think it's more of a cultural problem, that modern way of life isn't terribly healthy for anyone, but I haven't got it all figured out yet. I just live my own the best I can. |
And, is that the medicine's fault? "I think it's more of a cultural problem, that modern way of life isn't terribly healthy for anyone" I think blanket generalizations aren't terribly healthy for you. You specifically. I'm just dandy with the modern way of life. Without the modern way of life we'd have all sorts of health problems that aren't around anymore. And without the modern way of life I wouldn't have my vitamins and suger free red bull. That'd be fucked up. |
oh god, that shit tastes like ass. ass flavored used anti-freeze |
"And, is that the medicine's fault?" She's not blaming the medicine, but the drug companies/doctors/lazy patients. I think medicine can do immeasurable good, and there are many, many people (like schizophrenics) who are able to live productive lives because of their medicine and who would be ruins without it. Sure, medicines like Ritalin may be overprescribed, but that doesn't detract from the value it provides people who truly need it. |
i {heart} pharmeceuticals! |
|