Christmas is cancelled!!


sorabji.com: Why I oughta...: Christmas is cancelled!!
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Alex on Saturday, December 15, 2001 - 06:58 pm:

    Hmm, well yup

    Its true

    this year Christmas is cancelled

    Over the Christmas break I have to draw up all my designs for a sustainable housing estate ans write 3 3000 word essays on various crap!

    so between that and work, there is very little time for christmas celebrations

    Last weekend at WHSmiths we took more money that the last Sat before Christmas last year

    People are mad

    or is it me?

    And yes heather Architects are idiots

    at leats it isnt a stressfull job!


    ha


By Nate on Sunday, December 16, 2001 - 04:50 am:

    if you were smarter, it would only take you a couple days and then you could enjoy christmas.

    genetics suck.

    i'm sorry you were delt the short straw.*





    * not a reference to bull semen.


By Czarina on Sunday, December 16, 2001 - 05:22 am:

    Its probably because he lives in an area that is rife with faggots.

    This has probably been his "brain food".

    Let this be an example,of what over consumption of faggots,can do,to one's coginative skills.

    Poor Alex has demographically been cursed.He has had no choice.Probably consuming faggots since he was a wee one.

    We have got to get Nate home.Its not worth risking him,too.


By Alex on Monday, December 17, 2001 - 11:06 am:

    faggots



    hmm

    only ever seen one of them in Iceland

    i cannot possibly write 3 3000 word essays 'in a couple of days!' as well as plotting all my sections and elevations in auto cad then doing my presentations, both personal and group work in photoshop after inking up siteplans and sections and elevations!

    well over a weeks work


    dont mean to sound wierd here, but have any of you Americans heared that people in the UK eat squirrels??

    its just there was a program on TV a while ago and there was this American girl say8ing she was a bit worried about coming over here 'cos she heared we eat squirrel!!! I mean the thought of eating faggots is bad enough!


By droopy on Monday, December 17, 2001 - 11:32 am:

    nate could type 3 3000 word essays at lunchtime using only his left hand whilst simultaneously gratifying a woman sexually and loading and smoking with his right.


    the girl got her stories crossed, americans are the ones what whom eats squirrels. i read an article once about how a form of mad cow disease had been turning up in north carolina and that doctors had linked it to their habit of eating squirrel brains.

    we would like to ask you back to this locality
    to have a heapin' helpin' of our hospitality
    hillbilly, that is
    take your shoes off
    set a spell
    have some moonshine whisky
    some squirrel brains
    good eatin'
    y'all come back now, ya hear?


By patrick on Monday, December 17, 2001 - 11:40 am:

    when are you coming back nate?


    nate?


    NATE???


By Dougie on Monday, December 17, 2001 - 11:41 am:

    The old Joy of Cooking used to have a game section. Squirrel was in it, including how to skin the little critters.


By Alex on Monday, December 17, 2001 - 12:01 pm:

    yuck

    squirrels are for looking at not eating!

    or if you are hal they are for living in fear of!


By patrick on Monday, December 17, 2001 - 12:01 pm:

    let me tell what we did all day yesterday.

    being so damn broke, we decided do some cooking for gifts.

    we decided on 4 cooking sauces to jar, to give as a set to friends and family. marta stewart-esq i know, but i really like cooking and sharing it.

    anyway, we got some 8oz mason jars and made 4 sauces, from recipes we got in food and wine mag.

    a coconut lime sauce, which came out more like a curry but still damn good.

    an ancho/chipolte mole sauce. though i had to make a pepper substitution as i couldnt find pablano so i used pasilla. though it came out good, i had to used canned chipolte's and they are canned in this funky sauce, that added an undesired slant to the mole

    a trinidadian pepper sauce. holy shit this stuff is fire. habaneros to boot. ive had a version of this hot sauce before. but god damn god damn if this stuff isnt hot.

    finally

    a jalepeno garlic sauce. this stuff is hot too. it came out more like a wasabi type sauce, good for topping a burrito.

    its a shame you cant come over and try them all.

    meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow


By crimson on Monday, December 17, 2001 - 02:06 pm:

    squirrel is pretty common fare here. i don't like it, but was forced to eat it sometimes as a kid. kinda disgusting, stringy stuff. lots of people around here kill & eat squirrel. my ex-husband used to carve up squirrel meat & boil it w/ macaroni in a crock-pot. he called the dish "squirrel mac". yecch.


By Hal on Monday, December 17, 2001 - 02:34 pm:

    Got myself a cat, he is in training right now to become a dedicated enemy of the squirrel...

    Fuckers are going down, my neighborhood isn't big enough for me and them... And them is gonna go...


    That and I'm thinking of getting a pellet gun.


    As for eating the little fucks... Ummm no, although I do live next door to the food bank so I guess whatever dies is fair game for whomever...


By patrick on Monday, December 17, 2001 - 02:38 pm:

    why on earth are you going to start pelleting the squirrels?


By The Watcher on Monday, December 17, 2001 - 02:42 pm:

    I knew a few people in my life who ate squirrel.

    For most of them, it was one of the few ways they could put meat on the table.

    Luckily I've never had to resort to this.

    Although, if a few more people would start eating squirrel meat we would have a few less problems with the little critters.


By droopy on Monday, December 17, 2001 - 02:49 pm:

    i have a great-uncle who tells stories about weathering the great depression on squirrel and dandelion greens. he's still alive and still eats squirrel and just about anything he can shoot. except possum. he had a bad possum experience.

    a friend of mine shot a squirrel with a bb gun. it suffered horribly, let out squirrel screams. i had to kill it with a rock to put it out of its misery.

    forget the pellet gun.


By patrick on Monday, December 17, 2001 - 03:53 pm:

    please forget the pellet gun.

    i shot a squirrel once with a pellet gun and it was one of the most miserable experiences Ive had.


By Spider on Monday, December 17, 2001 - 05:10 pm:

    I've had squirrel before. It didn't taste singular enough for me to become aware that I was eating anything unusual.


By Czarina on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 09:48 am:

    A few years back,we decided on a whim,to go vist some relatives in northern Lousiana.

    We had a nice drive,and when we got to their home,
    I saw a buch of squirrel tails drying on a clothesline.

    This should have been my clue.

    But it wasn't.

    They were ever-so-excited to see us,as we were unexpected.

    "Come in! Eat,eat! We've got a big pot of gumbo!"

    When it was my turn,I got my bowl,and my serving of rice,then dipped the ladle into the gumbo pot,but when I pulled it out,there was a little critter hanging on by its arms.

    I started gagging.The whole thing was there.[minus its head,feet,and little hands and fur,looking like a little burn victim,all bright red]

    People shouldn't be allowed to do that to.


By Hal on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 11:38 am:


By patrick on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 11:58 am:

    WHY are you shooting squirrels to begin with YO??

    you don't think death would be messy with that thing? Shit, that would be fun to obliterate some cans with that, or make your little brother dance.


By droopy on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 12:18 pm:

    1. it's disturbing that they would even make what is apparently a pellet machine gun.

    2. it's disturbing hal would want it for squirrels.

    my suggestion: poison darts.


By patrick on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 01:24 pm:

    well he DOES live in Montana droop.

    feel free to apply the usual Mountainier, ex-patriot, sterotypes.

    shooting squirrels and defending the ranch against commie, alien-possessed FBI agents.


By Czarina on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 01:40 pm:

    Shit.Is that thing squirrel approved?

    It looks more like you would use it to take out Obe One Kinobe,or Darth Vader.


By patrick on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 01:48 pm:

    put it this way...you start mowing down squirrels for now good reason hal..you just give me and a few others reason to come up and there and beat your ass


By droop on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 01:56 pm:

    may i remind you that i live in texas

    feel free to apply the usual cowboy, texas ranger, there are bingo nights more heavily armed than the northern alliance stereotypes.

    i had a blowdart when i was a kid, the kind you can buy at a gunshop. i think it would be cooler and less likely to involve the police.

    50 caliber blowgun.

    poison.


By Czarina on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 02:07 pm:

    "Curare kills by paralytic effects,arresting the motor nerves and literally relaxing the victim to death.Curare is not for sale to the general public."

    Which kind of public can purchase it?

    Thats a dandy little disclaimer.Its good to know there are conscientous merchants out there.


By Hal on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 02:11 pm:

    Patrick...

    The squirrels are out to get me I know it...

    I can't proove it right yet, but TBone can confirm this, as well as a few others...

    I thought about going the chemical or biological way, but I figure I'd give them a sporting chance at dodging the 2000 rounds per minute...hee hee....

    That and I'm keeping my eye out for bald eagles while I'm at it... Oh yes I'm the crazy Montana, left wing super liberal, fuck our goverment because they suck, I don't want to pay my taxes, screw the goverment, I send letter bombs, fuck head....

    Fuck you, you ass.


By patrick on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 02:15 pm:

    first the squirrels are out to get you then its johnny law.....

    you start going chemical or biological on the squirrels potentially fucking up the water table...then there will be a few more of us up there to beat your ass.

    be assured we'll bring beer though.


By Czarina on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 02:20 pm:

    I'm not going if he's got poison darts,beer or no beer.

    If one were to purchase the poison dart blowgun,I think it would be well worth the extra few bucks to get the Deluxe model,which comes with the handy anti-inhale mouthpiece.


By droop on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 02:25 pm:

    if you inhale your own poison dart, you deserved to.


By patrick on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 02:27 pm:

    and you wonder why im jaded....


    so there i am, out having a smoke..and across the street i see media hub bub going on and whaddya know its our nimrod governor Gray Davis filming a commercial in front of Manns Chinese theater pronouncing its "safe to come back to Hollywood."

    Where was the motherfucker when i got off the subway to the gang of thugs, bums, crusty punks and other threatening individuals harrassing me and others for smokes money etc?

    safe to come back to Hollywood...gimme a break.


By Hal on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 02:41 pm:

    Patrick...Its one big fucking joke....

    Your welcome to come up and join me, if you bring beer, hell we can throw the rocks back at the squirrels because they will damn well be throwing them at us...


By patrick on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 02:43 pm:

    of course.


    any squirrel throws a rock at me, the little fuzzy tailed fucker better expect to get it back.

    around where i live, we have these weird squirrel/rat hybrids that live in the big thick plush palm trees. You can hear them rattling around but you rarely see them, and when you do, they look ferocious.

    this day needs to move on...ive got so much to do, and ive got the before-you-travel jitters.

    Ever notice how some dog's react in cars? Im kinda like that.


By Hal on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 03:00 pm:

    See its gotten to the point with the squirrels though that they throw rocks sticks and the like with stunning accuracy...

    And the little fuckers throw hard too.

    Thus the idea for the double mini pellet gattling gun.


    Have a meeting today, that I do not look foreward to... Although the meeting will be an hour out of the day I don't have to sit at my desk, but for some reason the last two times we've had this meeting (every tuesday.) I start to pass out during the meeting...


By Platypus on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 03:46 pm:

    That gun would be very handy to use on our nimrod governer--can I borrow it, Hal?


By patrick on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 03:53 pm:

    no worries he's outta here next year.

    unfortunately, its likely we'll get our former mayor, Richard Riordan, the very pro-business republican in steady of Gray's goofy dumbass.

    Riordan is not as bad as Davis though.


By The Watcher on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 04:43 pm:

    Of course it's save to go downtown.

    Especially if you've got state police protection.


By moonit on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 04:48 pm:

    Hal, prehaps moving to a country that has no squirrels would be a good move for you.


By Czarina on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 04:59 pm:

    Am I sensing a budding romance?


By LoneStranger on Tuesday, December 18, 2001 - 09:35 pm:

    The squirrels have taken over all the parks here at school.

    They would be easy to bag.

    Nate is coming home soon.... I think this weekend. I can't wait.

    Natey! I miss you!

    LS


By Hal on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 03:44 am:

    I FUCKING FIGURED IT OUT.....

    FUCK SAUCE!!!!


By Hal on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 03:46 am:

    Fucking squirrels...

    Moonit do they have squirrels in NZ???


By moonit on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 03:21 pm:

    Nope, we don't.

    We have possums (but way out in the country).


By Hal on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 03:53 pm:

    Ahh, possums just play dead...


    I'm moving to NZ, no more friggin squirrels, and it won't be so friggin cold this time of year...


By Alex on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 05:45 pm:

    Im becoming quite concerned, - I'm finding old people more and more disgusting to look at every day.

    I never used to be like that, but recently when im serving old people at Smiths i find myself feeling so disgusted by them, and i dont want to feel that way, cos its not their fault but i dunno its just odd.

    there were dead pigeons in the road by the post office today..perhaps the squirrels got them, or maybe they got run over. Who really knows?


By The Amazing Kreskin on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 05:52 pm:

    I know. Really.


By moonit on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 06:15 pm:

    heh... but can you handle the sit down roast lunch on a screamingly hot christmas day?

    and are you prepared to use the following words:

    mate, bevvy, bach, dag, bonk, bludge, cheers, lurgy, eh?, hissy fit, l&p, pack a sad, buggered, ta, ticky tour, knackered...

    and thats just the begining...


By The Watcher on Wednesday, December 19, 2001 - 06:21 pm:

    Hal,

    Forget it. I shipped out a create full of squirrels to NZ last week.

    They should be arriving any day now.

    I mean why should we have all the fun?


By Czarina on Thursday, December 20, 2001 - 02:42 am:

    whats "ticky tour" mean?


By moonit on Thursday, December 20, 2001 - 03:51 am:

    Its where you take the most longest route possible to get somewhere.


By Hal on Thursday, December 20, 2001 - 12:18 pm:

    I can handle using those words and expressions...

    Hell right now I use ones that even americans don't understand....


    So I guess using ones that Kiwi's won't understand will be no different. And at least then I can pull the forign guy trip and maybe find myself a G/F.


By wisper on Saturday, December 22, 2001 - 06:04 pm:

    i'd just like to note that the slogan for the blowgun place in the above links is "Blow the Best!"


    thank you, i will.


By Kim on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 11:30 pm:

    MMMMMM....I like cats, specially in a stir-fry, have never tried squirrel but imagine it would taste quite nutty..ha ha get it! oh i'm so funny!
    Do you think you could eat possums the same way as squirrels as i live in New Zealnad and we don't have any squirrels?


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