I just got an email from my father. He closes it, "I still love you!" My first thought was, well, of course you do. Then I started worrying. Why shouldn't he still love me? I haven't done anything wrong. Have I? And this is coming from a man who has never told me he loves me out loud and in person, so why is he telling it to me now? What's going on? And why hasn't my mother emailed me or answered the phone when I call home?

Rhiannon,didn,t you say your Dad has cancer?Does your brother see your parents often?If so I,d try to get him to find out whats up with your folks.

No, my dad doesn't have cancer. He did have a weird growth in his lung, which I may have mentioned, but he's okay now. My brother lives at home, but he's always out with his friends. Last time I saw him, he told me he comes home at night after my parents are asleep and leaves for school after they've gone to work, so he never sees them. I should ask him to keep an eye on them anyway. Be a good brother and see what's going on. I'll see if he's willing to do that much...he can be a jerk at times.

how old is he? maybe your dad found out that you've been watching dirty movies, and he wants to let you know that even though you are soiling your mind, he still cares. or maybe he figures you are away getting drunk and smoking drugs and commiting grevious acts of fornication? i'd be happy to write him a letter saying that regardless of our approach or the intensity of our efforts, we have failed to corrupt your soul. if you think it would help. maybe he stumbled onto sorabji.com?

How old is my brother or my dad? My brother's 19 and my father turned 56 (whoa, I forgot he was that old) on Friday. Speaking of dirty movies, my dad's got quite the collection himself, which I've always pretended I didn't know about (and, btw, that really messed up the way I thought about the male gender during my adolescent years, and I didn't finally get over that until last January), and when I saw him a few weeks ago, my mother made some comment about Playboy, and my father said, "I don't look at that crap." I started making a Marge Simpson-like grumble under my breath, and my mother said, "Oh, really?" And he replied, "No, what I look at is of much better quality." Then I told him to shut up and talk about something else. So maybe that's what he's talking about! The idea of that letter is intriguing. I would like to read something like that myself, especially if it included the phrase "she's a good girl." It's sick, but I like hearing that.

Wait a minute, Rhiannon, what's your dad's occupation again?

i'll write it up, then. nothing else to do. i'm only working. so when do i get to meet your family?

Don't worry, Rhiannon, it's probably just one of those things your parents do because they miss you. Maybe your dad feels like he hasn't been paying enough attention to you.

No sweat, Rhiannon. He just wants you to know that even tho' you're All Growed Up & away from home/he still loves you. How sweet!

My dad's a college professor. Yeah, he probably was just being nice to me. But that's such a rare event, it makes me suspicious. Which isn't nice of *me* so I apologize. I also wrote him a long email telling him about my classes and such (like he asked me to do), so that should make him happy. What I was thinking was that he had to tell me he loved me because he feels the rest of his family is deserting him. I've always been the one to take his side when he's picked on, and this is neat because usually he totally ignores me when I do it, but now this is a clue that he appreciates it when I stick by him. It's funny because people tease me for being a "daddy's girl" but my dad rarely pays attention to me, so I've always thought that everything was one-sided, but this is a good sign that it's not. Nate, I'm serious about the letter. I'm not used to getting affection, and now that I've had a little, I would like some more. Even just a couple of sentences that say I'm all right. Please?

Reading that over, I made myself sick. Sometimes I say things that are better kept to myself. Ya know? I'm too open for my own good sometimes. I apologize for any thoughts of "Jeeeeez! We didn't need to know that" that I may have induced.

Rhi You are alright.....You are alright..... seriously....you are alright. Don't change ..you are so nice the way you are.

Ahhhhh. Thanks, I needed that. It's been a low s.o. week.

You know J loves you.

J, if you were here I'd give you a bear-hug. And you can clean out the History and cookie files on your computer yourself. If you have Internet Explorer, go under Tools, then under Internet Options. Then hit the Clear History button and the Delete Files button. And then smack your husband for making it necessary for you to do all that.

Rhi,I've always felt the best way to deal with a situation, is head-on. Its much better to find out whats going on,than to worry about something, that maybe doesn't need worrying about.Why don't you call your dad, and say "Dad, that email you sent me kinda bothered me,I wasn't sure what you meant."Life is short,and there really isn't much time to waste on "maybe's", get to the bottom of it, and move on.Chances are, he didn't have any "hidden meaning" in it.And you'll feel much better resolving it.[well,thats how I would handle it]

Rhiannon ,I wish I was there with you:)

Chin up, Spider! us bunches of white letters love ya to pieces!

Too....much...affection. Must...hide. Thank you. And I really am not in the habit of fishing for compliments. Really. Czarina: if my dad was the kind of person who was open about anything, I wouldn't hesitate to ask him directly. But I can't imagine that he would ever admit to being afraid that his family was leaving him. This is the guy who refused to admit that nearly severing his finger in a lawn mower hurt at all. And I've just realized that now I have been entirely too open about myself and sincerely apologize for imposing myself on you people. I need to stop talking now.

I don't think anyone here took it as an imposition,but rather think most would be concerned that someone we all care about is struggling with a personal matter.There are people here who like and admire you,and on that basis,hate to see you going through such a painful experience.If you need to talk, this is a safe place,so please don't feel like you need to apologize.

spider: e-mail.

Is that a command, are you asking for my address, or are you telling me I have email? I guess I'll find out in a second.