so... i'm probably just bitchy because i'm working on a paper and all, but why is sorabji getting all crusty? the highlights of the posts are nearly always nate, cat, and antigone. everyone seems to say the same things over and over. are you all sucked into nothingness? is it the absence of mark? what happened to interesting talk and variety?

i have an enormous cock.

Nate and Antigone's posts suck floppy shrivelled tits.

i'm trying not to offend cat and i'm too tired to create new threads.

God, I would give my left penis to suck on floppy shriveled tits!

I wish Pez would speak up more. I think she's cute. No one person's sensabilities are a standard for what should and shouldn't be posted. and I want to hear about some new crushes.

thanks, i think. i don't think i'm meant to be cute. i have none (crushes, that is). men are dickheads that should be shot on sight. or at least harmony's boyfriend should. besides, i have neither the time nor the energy to go gaga over a guy. too busy thinking about if i want to be an anthropology major of somthing else. and working, of course.

i'm boring, too? shit.

yes, you are.

The weasels are comin' I tell ya. Little beady-eyed varmints, watchin' and waitin', jes starin' with them beady little non-blinkin' eyes of theirs. Sneaky little bastards. Don't say I didn't warn ya. Damn weasels.

i believe that location can shed light on the way a person posts: my hometown, for instance, is called boring. isolde can vouch for that. weasels like to weasel out of everything. they're pretty evil. on thursday, since i had the day off, i did something akin to babysitting: four hours trapped in a room with a poodle and an invalid, blind woman crying for daddy.

I can? I guess so. Here's the test of a boring hometown: When you were in high school, did you ever drive around and remove the numbers from people's mailboxes and switch them?

sorry i hurt your feelings, sesq. reread your post about you and your wife and see if you don't agree that it sounds a little wierd. also, why would you email someone who was so boring?

i didn't have a car. i went to highschool so far away, my friends didn't want to drive out to my house, my neighbors were spoiled brats. it's one of those "what sort of car are you getting for your 16th birthday" communities. the favored activity around here was to drive by as i was walking into town and telling me to fuck off and get a life. even my sister used to say that sometimes. it's the hometown of lynn snodgrass, the queen of "we need public support for charter schools". i've made it a point to stay on the left, even if it means ostrichization and ridicule. it means i'm still alive. the big thing i did was sneak out of the house, dressed in dark clothes and walk to safeway at 11 pm when i was 14. jumped into the blackberries, the ditches at the merest feeling of a car.

I haven't been to nothingness,I've been to Oblivion,you should go there,the natives are friendly,and life is beautiful all the time,and all these hot men in their white coats ......

im probably the most selfish poster here bell jar. i just dont give a rats ass what anyone thinks of my posts. They make ME happy. i got laid lastnight. that made ME happy. i just saw boobage accidentally. I think the new girl, the typical "betty page looking hollywood hipster type that thinks belle and sebastian are really groovy" of a new girl has a crush on me. She gives me "the eye". As I get older I have been able to detect this EYE....that look, that expression..... And well being one of....well....shit...actually the ONLY straight guy in this office...its understandable. I made her laugh one afternoon, and she likes my boots. she just walked into the room.....she had on particular button up shirt....and when i glanced over at her and said "hello" there was a gap in her shirt as big as the grand canyon that gave me a direct view of her chest. I didnt ask for this, and it certainly wasnt something i looking for. it was just there....and I could stop my eye from checking it out. I could go into more detail about this experience but i wouldnt want to bore bell jar.

(heh. patrick, you rock.) please ignore this meaningless, boring post. thanks for your time.

If they cannot see the humor in it, let them mount up upon themselves. -old Irish proverb

Umm, yeah. Well, let's see, I woke up today, took a shower, had some coffee, got into my monkey suit, drove to work, did some work, had lunch, am having Earl Grey tea. That's about all I can think of. Oh yeah, drove past the brand new assisted living place. I decided I'm going to move in there next week. Me and my helper monkey, Mojo.

I woke up today, took a shower, went to work, quit work, ate lunch, and am now scouring the wanted ads. Luckily, I'm still working box office for the theatre here, so I'll have enough to pay the bills. Was quitting work an unwise idea? Yes. Was it worth it? YES.

Ouch, quit work? Now there's something uncrusty and highlight-worthy, bell-jar. What spurred that, Isolde? (Ya didn't shoot anybody before you quit (or afterwards) did you, Isolde)?

Oh, I wanted to, let me tell you. I wanted to put a shotgun up the ass of that bitch ass postal worker. But I didn't, I smiled and said: "I'm not planning to work here when I get back from California." "Oh really? Why is that?" "Because, uh, you're a bitch." "Are you the only one that thinks this?" "No." "Really?" "Uh...yeah." *silence* "So, um, I take it back, uh, I'm gonna quit. Fuck you and your post office with you, bitch." "Well, I wish you luck in finding your new job." "Don't worry your fat ass about it." It was so, so, so satisfying. I can't even begin to describe how I felt.

wow, thanks agatha, i think thats the sweetest thing you have ever said to me, i think. i just saw (above) depicted boob shot, again. This time i got a closer, longer look......i think the shirt a bit too small for her, or perhaps its just bad button placement. eitherway, im not complaining. do you girls ever find yourself catching glimpes of packages in such a manner? do you look? like say when johnny has his short jogging shorts on, and when he sits to tie his laces, you can spy in through the......... i have said too much

agatha i didn't want to be all pushy and speak on your behalf...but fuck bell_jar and fuck sesquialtera- he seems to be a very nice guy but he's got issues please don't apologize for your posts

God yes I look,did I ever post about Larry Dean Donkey Dick?

Never apologize for your posts, agatha. Not really, unless it's unavoiable. I don't know, I don't actively seek. There was this girl I used to work with (before I QUIT!!!!) who used to wear shirts designed to show off her breasts--it was kind of repulsive, she wasn't so young and she would shove her sleeves off her shoulders so that the whole works was revealed. I'm not ok with that stuff. But a little discreet look now and then...look all you like. I just hate it when girls "aim" their cleavage at you. With that girl it was like: "Target X locked..begin countdown sequence..."

Yes, Isolde! You've done it! You have Repented, Slacked Off, and Quit Your Job!!! Praise "Bob"!!! You better believe I'll be praising "Bob" and the magnificent gleaming nipples of "Connie" when I leave this place.

Pez: read what heather wrote. The trick is to not apologize for your posts. Don't give a fuck about offending Cat, or me, or whoever. I am proud to be boring. Why should I waste my energy being creative with you people? *laugh* right. I'm such a different person on Sorabji. and I don't mean the usual "less-socially-encumbered, more free, more myself, less-inhibited" way. I really take on a very different personality. Heh. looks like I got outta CA just in time.

Now whoa a minute lovebunnies. Don't start bitching about Bell_Jar's post at the same time as defending your rights to post what you like. For a start it confuses my addled brain, but it's also a tad hypocritical. We're a community and I don't want to hurt people's feelings out of malice or spite, but I prefer honesty even if it comes at the cost of a little blood. This is the one place on the whole rock where I can be open and candid. If someone is being boring and repetitive, then why not bloody well tell them? It's gutless to just email nasty things about them. Anyway, let's not get too sensitive about the whole kit and kaboodle. If you can't take it up the ass, you shouldn't be here bending over. And Pez, if you're trying not to offend me, it might be best not to refer to me as a "shit-on-a-stick". Just a friendly tip. I had a tooth removed yesterday and it hurts so I reserve the right to be cranky.

can i have your left over demoral?

was it infected? cause that really really hurts. and my stepdad gave me illegal substances for the pain - in front of my mum. which is most possibly one of the more wierder experiences of this year.

It wasn't infected. It was quite a beautiful tooth lying there all lonely and bloody. I was tempted to take it home to see if the tooth fairy would come. My nephews get $2.00 from the tooth fairy. I got 20 cents. It seems wrong that imaginary characters are affected by inflationary pressures.

If it was a good tooth,why did they remove it? And no Patrick,leave her demerol alone.Having tooth stuff done,hurts.

I always made bank on the tooth fairy.

And I'm glad I struck out against the oppressors of the post office. The only tooth I ever had pulled was in high school, because when I was younger my dentist gave me a root canal on a baby tooth, a bad one, and the tooth wouldn't come out, so the tooth underneath started growing out sideways. There was a huge hole in the side of my gum and my cheek was rotting. It was really gross. But oh, what good soup I had.

cat, we got your package. cleo was digging it. i'm not sure because i had to go to a board meeting, but i think she spent a good portion of the evening listening to them. i gotta ask though, who the fuck is that australian raffi-wannabe? thanks for thinking of us and i'd frame your letter but i doubt i'd be able to find an a4 frame. silly non-american paper sizes. is it so hard to use 8½X11 like the rest of the civilized world?

hey tom! how're'ya enjoying oregon? i've a question: did you come to visit me at work last week? someone named tom or toady (according to harmony's boyfriend) asked for me while i was on break. the "shit-on-a-stick"? that was in reference to picking a political party to be a rebel. that's shit-on-a-stick. i'm non-affiliated. and proud of it.

Oregon, so far, is rocking much tom-ass. I got shown around downtown by a self-proclaimed "twelve-year-old boy-style dyke," who was simply cute as a button. I have yet to show up at your place of employment. I simply cannot think of anything repulsive enough to create a suitable first impression of myself. It may have been some other (hopefully much healthier and hunkier bit of) man(flesh). *snicker*. Yes. I think that this is the town of Benito Pezzilini. the trains run basically on time. Benito Mussolini. so much less threatening to think that his name sounds like "little benny." Or, as Isolde (I think) gleefully pointed out to me: Antonio Banderas. His name is really Tony Flags. Like a porn star, no? I hope she didn't take that bit from here, or I'll be ever so wonkily embarrased. Tomorrow, I will find a job, and I will also call around to all of my old highschool friends, unseen these last 3 years or so. Scary stuff, kids. I am feeling like shit-on-a-stick tonight, though. Will y'all do me a favor: We've done the 3 things that people don't usually know about you. What are the secret things, the little things, or the big things, that make your lives worthwhile? worth living, getting up again every morning? I've a friend who was pondering the necessity of carrying on, pondering relieving herself of this mortal whatevershapeyougot, and i was trying to help her up, when I got stuck for a moment. And decided to ask this question. The little dykepunk I hung out with today. She told me that she falls in love "like, every day." I love that. I love the way all of the little twelve-year-old boydykes are constantly falling in love: with one another, with outsiders and insiders and themselves. It's beautiful to see. Also, Modest Mouse will be playing here later this month! I will finally get to catch Mouse! YUM!!! Hi! My name is Tom, and I like books (Tom Robbins and Neil Gaiman, today), and music (Modest Mouse and 764-HERO, on this occasion, and clean laundry and arthurian legends and Isolde (who is also cute as a button, let it be known,) and Bell_Jar, (whos cuteness I have been unable to verify, though I have my suspicions: may she someday come to understand that she is both her own icon and iconoclast) and Patrick, (who is VERY cute, in a naked and selfish sort of way which, honestly, occasionally makes me jealous), and, in fact, most of the sorabjites. I like meeting new people, including 12yobd (as twelve-year-old-boy-dykes shall heretofor be known), and my computer, now bearing, proudly, it's "Love Machine," sticker, and my knew apartment, Just inside the Gresham limits, near 181st and Glisan, may you all come to the housewarming party, and flowers. goodnight, lovies!

my aunt lives in gresham. why gresham? it's so. . .suburban.

Well, we drove into town on Thursday with no plan at all, no place to stay. We drove to the first place on our list, which happened to be on the edge of Gresham, and we liked the place, so we got it. It honestly barely seems in Gresham at all... it's 10 minutes walk to the sign that says "Entering Portland." All the same, better tell me where to find your aunt. It'll be like visiting a sorabjite once removed. *laugh*

I have an A4 frame. They can be hard to find, but we use that size here too...you're talking to the gal who used to work for a stationary company. They can sometimes be hard to find, though, especially if you live somewhere wierd.

Oh, and by the way, don't you _ever_, _EVER_ chat me up on these boards again. I will not stand for it, and you know it.

aww, what are ya gonna do? arch a menacing eyebrow at him?

No. Fly to Oregon and castrate him.

Damn almost all sorabji's live in Oregon.I'm going to have to go scope it out.

hey tom...do you know a crusty punker in Portland named Jared? He's originally from NC....but he recently moved there.....just wondering

whoa! tom, you live somewhere between five and ten miles from me!!! i live around the foster/hwy 212 area. the metropolitan subrural area. only two more people it could be, otherwise i have no clue. does anyone want apples? i've got plenty, and i have to get rid of them before they all fall off the tree and turn into frosty fermented mush.

well, then, seeing as we're so close, you might as well give me some apples. We are currently poor as poor can be. Patrick: not yet, and it's a big city, but I just got here, and will be taking the crusty punk scene by storm, shortly. J: Who else is here? I know Sem and Mavis used to be, but I am unclear as to whether they still are or not? dave and agatha are somewhere in Oregon or Washington, but again, I'm not sure which. Damn. Isolde: yeah, sure, c'mon over. We'll have a good time. We'll go out and find a worthy Portland bar. I'll help you castrate me: I'll go sit in the bar and get wasted, and if you can get into said bar, you can have your way with me. Or we can play the same game, backwards, at an Elementary school. arch that eyebrow again, dearie! The menace, phantom or no, sorta turns me on.

Don't talk to me, you worthless piece of shit.

HEY!!!!!!!!! dont make me turn on the water hose!!!!!!!

Eh, let 'em go at it. The boards have been all "crusty" lately, and I'm sick of abortion and Bore and Gush.

next time, tell me before you drop by my work and i'll have some apples for you. we've got too many. i only have a week of classes left!!! then i'm free as a bird (with work and chores, that is).

I would just like to add that I am also cute. Someone seems to have left that out.

prove it.

No. You'll just have to carry apples with you everywhere from now on, in hopes of seeing me. heh. Oh, alright, then. fine. Yeah, Gee. What Dave said. Pez looks nothing like she ought to. You people shouldn't really exist, though. it gives me the heebies.

I never have lived in Portland, and Mavis does not live there anymore. Agatha/dave. are in Olympia. Cyst is in Seattle. God's in my pants. Or kill me. Pointing out gee's cuteness would be like pointing out she speaks english.

It's just an accepted fact.

hey, what should pez look like?

a small pastel-colored hard candy lozenge, what else?

well, my 3*great grandfather DID invent the cough drop...but no. i'm human. maybe slightly deranged, but human.

someday I will capture Semillama and hide him under my bed and none of you will ever get to play with him again. unless you admit that I'm cute.

I said it was just accepted as fact,don't take Sem away from us:)

okay. J can come over on alternate sunday's after 3 o'clock and play with my Semillama. but all the rest of you will just have to go without! Unless.

NEVER!

you're cute, gee. no charge for that one. i'm only here for dave's beluga. its lovesick, subsonic phonations call to me in my dreams. drooooooooooooooooooopyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy The Naked Dancing Llama Homepage

CETAPHILE!

I think I wash my face with that shit.

I've said it once, I'll say it again: Pics. of course, pics with you AND sem would work, too. Though, courtesy of thespark.com, I now know what sem looks like. wowsers.

i hereby pronounce droopy a Total Babe. but only sufficient bribery could get me to give up the photographic proof. his sister is real cute too.

I will give you Three Red Jellybeans for a picture of Droopy! I may go as high as five red jellybeans.

I will raise Gee's stingy offer of three red jellybeans, by five black and purple hair bands and I will throw in a bonus pair of koala socks.

koala socks. interesting. actually, the minimum bribe starts at chocolate. i mean, come on! jelly beans?! that's a fuckin' insult to droopy.

magic beans?

how about some apples? wait...nevermind. the cherries i canned this summer would travel better.

I like jellybeans... how about chocolate covered Red Jellybeans!

the market price for a picture of me is: 3 dried pinto beans and 1 used gym sock. "droopy's cetaphilic blues" i'm a blue, blue whale 'cause that sweet beluga's what i lack lord i'm a blue, blue whale 'cause that sweet beluga's what i lack if you bring your beluga to me, honey, this whale'll show you how i humpback i can hear it callin' to me every lonely night without fail i can hear it hear it callin' to me every lonely night without fail when i hear your beluga moanin' to me it makes my sperm wail

well, then. that kinda makes me uncomfortable. ok, i'm over it.

I'll wage some magic beans for a picture of Droopy,top that y'all,just you try.

i'll find the goose that lays the golden eggs!

I will lay the golden egg,out of my own bum!

For pictures of droopy: 4 pinto beans 3 garbanzo beans EIGHT Jellybeans AND 2 argyle socks. suckas.

Aw quit the chit chat and send me those pics before I come over there with a few crocs to snack on your juicy bits. And while you're at it, throw in a pic of the elusive Daniel as a bonus extra.

ummmm J...i bid magic beans about 6-7 posts above. sorry sista.....beat you to it. but perhaps i'll forward it to you for a few "J"s

Sorry about that,I wasn't even looped then:)But for a picture of Droopy,I can spare several "J"s.

i like where this is going. the bid is open at "several J's" do i hear several J's and a hit of acid?

several J's, a hit of acid and an oiled up, romanian gymnast. ahem.

I'll triple that, and add in two vivacious, scantily clad young women.

best I can do is half an eighth of mushrooms, but they're *ahem* very good. I'd offer to throw in a "couple of J's," but I only know one. Erm. But I have a copy of the anarchist's cookbook, 1971 version. Is that worth putting in the bidding? It's got instructions for plenty of illicits. My next project, actually, will be trying to distill something akin to LSD from morning glory, I think. damnit. I don't HAVE anything. Can I see the photos anyhow?

im out at the mention of hallucinogenics.

One whole bag,2 peyote buttons,3 hits of acid,4 horny limber woman....5 GOLEN EGGS!!!!!!!!!

GOLDEN!!!!!!!

What th' HELL???? Droopy, please tell me that is an original composition.

ok. yes.

Do I hear a going once?Maybe a going twice?

sold to J. I'd like to know what patrick has against hallcinogens and if there's a really interesting bad trip story behind it.

no there's not, i just don't like the loss of control. taking acid kinda scares me, mushrooms have made me sick in the past, peyote and mescalin were disapointing. i like to have my wits...and heavy hallucinogens take that element of control away. i will take mushrooms these days but only in small doses to attain a nice pot-like high...not to "trip" per se

Bwa