I tried to break up with my boyfriend and he flipped out. I told him that I would stay with him if we could work it out but it isn't working. I am not happy. I don't know what to do. I am afraid that if I break up with him..... he will be sooo crushed..... Here is an example.... He says that I am everything to him and he never does anything with his friends. All he ever wants to do is be with me. i don't feel the same way. When i tried to break up with him he started to cry hysterically and he started hyperventilating. he said he'd die if he lost me. i don't know what to do. I know what I am suposed to do but HOW do I do it? HELP ME!!!

oh shit..... If you're not happy then you shouldnt stay stuck in that... the crying and the hyperventilating.... its just trying to force you to stay and thats not fair on his part.... maybe you two could try counselling??

Run.

Your bo' friend is not being realistic and his crying and hyper ventalating, over you leaving, is proof of that. He needs to learn that his happiness is his own doing, not yours. He needs to be left alone, so he can learn not to be afraid of the boogie man and learn not to fear loneliness...In other words, run.

holy shit. his name's not patrick is it? i think i went out with him when i was much younger. any time i ever even HINTED that i wanted to break up with him, he'd FLIP OUT. crying, whining, hyterical. he once told me that if i ever broke it off with him and found someone else he would 'kill him with a baseball bat'. when i finally DID end it, he showed up at my job (the Brooklyn Museum). he was so incoherent and hysterical that security kept walking in to make sure i was okay. i agreed to go outside with him. it went on for HOURS. remembering it now, he kicked the door of a metal loading dock, and actually broke his foot. he would call me night and day. at home, at work. at my grandparents, at friend's houses. he would show up at places he thought i might be. the thing was, i had reached the point where i just could not do it anymore. couldnt be with him. couldnt stand the sight of him. im giving you an abbreviated version of a horrible time in my life. it's not easy to explain why i stayed with him for as long as i did. there was absolutely no good in the relationship. in fact, thinking about it now is making me a little tense. all i can tell you is get the hell away. and fast. it doesnt get better. it's not your fault he doesnt have friends. people like that are scary and psychotic and the only thing that matters is saving your own ass. believe me, i've been there. it's not worth having to lie to your parents about where the bump on your head came from. or the black eye. or whatever.

Asia- No, his name isn't Patrick. And it's not as serious as your ex. This is a teenage relationship that has lasted about a year. He would never hurt me and I don't think he could. My problem is that I need an easy way to break it off. I know....impossible. I know that I don't want to be with him.... it's just that I can't handle seeing him or hearing him like that. It makes me feel so bad that I can't do it. I'd rather stay here faking it then hurt him. I feel so stupid saying all this and I know I shouldn't bee with him but I don't know how.

Stuck - My advice? Just let him go. Be nice, but firm. Explain things as rationally as you can. Don't get tracked into a long, pointless discussion about "why". He will get over it, especially if he's young. It may not seem like it, but it will happen. Unless he's seriously disturbed, and that doesn't seem the case. He just sounds young and inexperienced. I should know. When I was 16 my first "serious" relationship ended abuptly and I whined shamefully about it. I blubbered and sobbed and said remarkably stupid things. Even today, years later, I'm embarrassed about how I dealt with what I knew was probably inevitable anyway. The bottom line is that my world did not end. I doubt his will either.* *unless he jumps off a bridge or something.

It's not your resposibility to watch over him. He needs to get over you and get over you now. Holding it off won't do anything. So, tell him flat out that it's not fair to him for you to be with him if you no longer feel the fire, and you don't want to hurt him more than is necessary. You can do it, and I promise....he'll live.

Well............. I did it. And I feel like shit. Watching him cry and hearing him repeat over and over "Why? What did I do wrong. How can you do this to me?" It hurts me so much to hurt him. I know it was the right thing to do but why does the right thing hurt so much? I just want to curl up and die. I feel like a horrible person.

i knowhow you feel..i had to do the same one time as well..actually..had to do it twice..because the first time i felt so awfull that i agreed to 'give it another try' but i knew it wasn't right..that i didn't love him..etc..but..i wish i wouldn't have given in to my guilt..because i had to go through it all over again.. each day that goes by makes it more bearable.. you hurt so bad because you're a good person.. and if you could go through life not hurting anyone, i'm sure you would..but that's not possible.. if it didn't hurt so bad..you'd be a pretty cold hearted and inhuman individual.. but you're not..and doing this to him doesn't make you so.. the worst part of it all is in the past, hopefully...

Spiracle- Thank you. Your post makes me feel better. Not just because you are telling me that the worst part is over but because you went through the same thing. I thought I was a bad person for hurting him so much but you're right. If I didn't feel bad, .....well... I'd be scared of myself. I appriciate your words because you relate.

Congrat's UN-stuck. That took a lot of courage. i have had to go through it on both sides, you know that because you know me. But I'm sure that if he's like me, he is hurt, and angry, but thankful he's not being lead on. This gives him more time to move on. I'm sure it was really hard on both of you. You are a very kind person, but also a fair and stand-up person as well. Good job, I hope everything turns out perfect.

Thank You SheWeazel

WOW- thats a little over kill. If he is not going to be mature and stuff about it then he is not worth you time. I believe a realtionship should be honest and up front. No matter how the break up comes along, or how old you are everything is going to be ok. Your both going to live. It is hard to let go (believe me I know) but in the end it is probably right for the both of you.

take THAT, 1998!

It never gets old, you know?

How do these people find these old threads? And why don't they notice the dates?

I think they find the boards when searching for porn. Then they go straight for the silliest, drama-filled posts and don't look at the numbers. Numbers = math, you know. . They never read our replies, either. They post once and never come back.

or perhaps they , the posters reside in a quadrant of interstellar space in which the messages take approximately 2-5 POSTyears to reach us. Barbie could have responded to this thread sometime ago and we are only reading about it now.

Heh, I like Patrick's theory. Ooh- coffee's ready!

when i look at work [mac] i see no dates just so ya know

Weird! Do you just see "By Spider:"?

Yeah, I see the same thing too when viewing on a mac. It's something about the HTML tags around the date text, but I can't figure out what. It doesn't look any different from all of the other taggage.

no "by" just your name in blue and then the paragraph actually, the names that include email addresses seem to have dates

What color is the date text when the e-mail is present? Also, try to select the line of text when the date isn't there. Does the date show up when highlighted?

hey yeah! it must be black! :) the date next to a yellow name is white

Yeah, that happened to me too, when I was using an Ibook...

Am I the only one who sees the date as being an hour ahead? If not, why has that not been fixed yet?! It drives me crazy.

no. its been an hour ahead of EST for a while now.

i hear ya spider. when i had to use Macs for 3 years that no date/time shit drove me nuts. Macs also don't show the lines in between posts, if i remember correctly..... ......also, you could change the colour scheme of IE to match the colour of your iMac. Blueberry! Cranberry! Tangerine! Bullshit!

i am i with you! my boyfriend never spends time with me and NEVER calls me, i live in a orphanage so i never see him. when i tried to break up with him he cried, and said i ment everything to him. he is confuseing me and i don't know what to do, so when you do halla at me. brandy

some glad rot clad.

um.......no this happened in 98 she's probably married with kids and the guy is a hoe with 7 gf's. she can't give you advice.

i just broke up with my boyfriend and everytimei even see, hear or think about his name it brings tears to my eyes i know this may sound just a little corney but i really need advise if any one has any advice to help my dituation please do i am only 15 and i dont want to be in the predicament thank you for your comments and you can im me at marcos_comeme77@yahoo.com}

I can think of only two things I could suggest after having gone through this before.... The first is to simply realize that time will definately heal this. We all move on if we let ourselves and its a matter of letting that happen. The second is to help that along by doing somethin you always wanted to do that doesn't (and/or didn't) have anything to with him at all. Find somethings you like to do that don't make you think of him and do them. If he pops up...try no to dwell on it. From there...things will begin to sort themselves out.

Shut the HEll up you fucking weird bastards!!!!!!

Well u know what im going through the exact same thing that chick was going through about not being able to break up with my teenage boyfriend...he is my first and might be last real boyfriend and it is going to hurt to let him go...but college comes next year......

Forget him. You're going to COLLEGE!!! After your first semester and that sorority mixer, nothing will ever be the same. I mean, check out those hunky Delta Eps, omigod!!!!

I have this boyfriend, i said yes to because i felt pressured to. I really dont like the guy, like as in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship, what break up excuse should i use? He gets mad if i say, i just wanna be friends

Well this is my problem... this guy was my 1st b'friend..i broke up with him once to go out with another guy you see.. the guy i broke up with him for turned out to be a dud.so now whenever my 1st b'friend asked me out again i said yes because i felt sorry for him. he tells me he loves me constantly whenever he calls me and sees me. he also tells me im the most beautiful girl in the world!! that gets on my nerves sooo bad cuz i know im not.. i think all he wants out of me is sex and i really want the relationship to end.. but i fear of breaking his heart.. ive tried to break up with him again but he begged me not to.. WHAT DO I DO! DO I BREAK UP WITH HIM OR NOT??? SOMEONE PLZZ HELP ME!!

What's the problem? You want the relationship to end, so end it. He'll get over you eventually and find a girl who can take a compliment.

i have a boyfriend who's 5 year's younger than me,im 22 and his turnng 17,we've been together for 2 years, i dont know if this is right, i work as a computer asst. and he come to me everyday.. eventually, he come and then he played a lot... sometimes i wonder if he really loves me.. i tried to break up with him but he insist.. he dont want to let me go, he says that if i break up with him, he's gonna kill his self.., then i stay, but he didn't show me that he loves me, we dont even go for a date. but i love him so much... I NEED HELP!!

if I ever had a boyfriend who threatened to kill himselve due to being dumped, I'd probably hand him the knife. I am a cold cold bitch that way, with my total lack of sympathy in suicide threats.

but i love him so much, what will i do if he kill him self after our breaking up thing?

Go bowling.

Lhen17, See a counseling or call crisis hotline.And for you, Dougie, real funny.

Not real funny, more like mildly amusing. I agree with your assessment though that she should see a counseling. Then, and only then, should she go bowling.

I had this friend who was dating a guy for a year, when he was 17 (and she was 16) she broke up with him. He sent her lots of love poems where he said if he couldn't get her back he'd kill himself. He followed her around looking all despondent and depressed. She didn't buy into it, and didn't want to be a part of someone who was so messed up they would commit suicide over a girl. End of story, she never got back together with him, and he never committed suicide. He got over her, and moved on with his life. I have no sympathy for those who play the "suicide" card in a breakup situation. It's not that I am cold or cruel, but that I find that behavior juvenille and reprehensible, kinda like the girl who fakes being pregnant (when she knows she isn't) to try to get a guy to commit. Therapy does look necessary, though.

she needs a shopping therapy!

for bowling shoes. Nice red and green ones.

aw for fucks sake. are these people for real? i can't tell.

they're more real than the psychic chick who won't answer my question about the talking teddy bears. email 'em at your own risk!

Weirdest thing I've seen all day: http://www.milkandcookies.com/links/22880/

I need beautiful arms showing from my summer dress! And poodles! But anyway, Lhen17, don't stay with him just because he says he'll kill himself. If he says that, just go ahead and tell him to do it. He won't. You have got to get rid of him somehow, don't fall for this "pity me!" bullshit.

thanks guy's, i guess ur right, but it eat's me inside when i saw him crying... somethimes i think he has a txtmate thing, but he always deny it... come to think of it,he came just to play. maybe he just using me..

trust me, if you stay with him you'll see so much crying every time he doesn't get his way. It's just annoying. He can cry all he wants, it's not going to make your relationship any better. He will cry regardless of what you do, no matter when or how you break up with him, so just break it off and forget it. then go bowling.

Lhen17, just seek some help from counseling

Wisper, I hated poodle, these are a little bitchin dog!

guy'z thanks a lot...

Go bowling . . .with his SKULL!!!!! poodles.

bowling! yay! I am going to see WICKED! yay yay yay! also, my friends gave me the Lord of the Rings trivial pursuit game! double yay!

I KICK ASS at Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit.

just when i think you can't be a bigger dork sem...

whatever, coke boy! Lord of the Rings Musical Stage Production: March 2007. no shit, y'all!

coke boy?

March 2006! my bad!

Ima brk Up WFmy BF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZZZZZZ

he hd no cock!!!!!!!!!!!! LLLLMMMMAO!! :)

HEY, IS THERE A FUNG SHUI COLOR FOR MY OFFICE? sLIGHTLY MIDWESTERN.

i tried to break up wit my bf and he was cryin his eyes out and tried to come over and to keep him for doing so i told him i would stay with him

tell him what you really feel if he loves you that much he should be able to agree with your decision !

i am 15 years old and my boyfriend dont call me nomore why? is there something i did? i am mad because he ignpred me all day yesterday why?

don't worry...my boyfriend ignpreds me all the time and it's nothing. indeed, i would say that every healthy relationship could use some serious ignpreding from time to time, from all those involved.

kazu,right on.

boys often leave after they've ignprednated a girl.

i'd say if he was ignprednating her all day, things are going pretty well.

I need help on breaking up with my boyfriend. I care about him but i don't think i want to spend the rest of my life with him. He says he can't imagine life without me and is all into "our" future. I can't handle it. He is 19 and i am 17. I am still in high school and am not ready for a comitment like that and i feel he is. We are at two different places in out lives. He flips out on me when i try to break up with him. He even begins to cry. I feel like i am the guy and he is the girl. I'm tired of this but am afraid of letting a 2 and 1/2 year relationship go on acount of him and his feelings. He is my best friend and i know i will be giving up a boyfriend and a best friend at the same time. How do i do this???? HELP ME! Joanna

I have the exact same situation as you. I've been with my bf for 2.5 yrs, and just broke up recently. We had too differing moral and value orientations. It hurts really bad, even if you're the one who brings it up. I did it over the phone (a mistake), but you've gotta be firm and sure about what you want. it's hard to advise on what to say, it depends on how he takes it. essentially don't waste your time and his if you don't feel it'll work out. thats selfish. Hours after breakup i wanted us to get back but my friend stopped me. it's always a temptation. i just hope we will one day be friends.

This is soo funny..i was looking around in the internet to see how the hell do i break up with my boyfriend and this thread was here since 1998..that was 7 years ago... okay my story! i used to date a guy who i really liked well it dint last long because he just stoped talking to me..and then this other guy (my current b.f) asked me to be his girlfriend and i said fine..so 1 year almost 2 years later im soo sick of him...he doesnt want to let go me..He has even hit me.. like 3 times, he has said that im stupid, that im a bitch (when he cheated on me like with 3 diferent girls) , all my friends say he's insane and that I should finish with him... its not hard..the only thing is that the majority of my friends dont talk to be because he has threatened them to get away..so i'm left with no friends...so i'll get bored..but still i've decided to let him go..cuz this is going to sound stupid but i still like the other guy!! and my current boyfriend knows..and he also knows that i dont love him anymore and that im sick of him..but he says im the girl of his life..and he dosent care if i dont love him...so i guess he'll just have to pretend that i love him cuz im gonna leave him! ahh that feels better..actually the other guy can die too... im just gonna be single wuu yeahh... nice..

You're right, that does sound stupid.

also- 8 years.