Ishmael


sorabji.com: What have you failed to do?: Ishmael
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Gee on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 12:10 am:

    I'm sad.

    Ishmael was really nice to me today. I looked sad when I was at work (because I was sad) and he put a lot of effort into making me laugh and was talking to me and wotnot. I thought it was really nice of him but it didn't change what made me sad. as stupid as it may seem, I was/am sad because I'm almost posative now that he isn't interested me in any kind of romantic way so I'm going to have to give up on him. I don't care what anyone says, I refuse to chase a guy who's not interested in me. I won't moon over anyone unless they moon over me too.

    I was talking to him about sextypethings today. I was joking around with him and he mentioned the word "slut" which prompted me to start asking him what he thought a slut was. Not for any special reason, I'm just curious about that kind of thing. Anyway, the conversation moved onto other stuff and I found out that when it comes to sex, he does Not like to do some of the things I really Like to do. The implication I got from this was that he's not the kind of boy who likes to experament. I was kind of confused when I realized that because I still like the boy (I'll get over it) but I'm not sure if I could be satisfied or not with someone who doesn't like to try different things.

    So, hypothetically speaking, here's a question for everyone:

    suppose you like some boy or girl who's really great. nice to look at, intelligent, considerate, quick thinking and funny. but you have different ideas about sex. one of you is conservative, one of you is liberal. one of you likes to do it in the dark, one of you likes the lights on. one of you likes trying sex in the bathroom or the kitchen table, and one of you refuses to do it anywhere but the bed.

    how would you feel about that? what would you do?

    this might be a stupid question. I will never have this problem with Ishmael, but finding out that we have different opinions about sex made me start wondering.


By moonit on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 12:21 am:

    <too much infomation>

    I think that the more time the Grump and I have spent together the more sexually liberated we have got. I trust him when he wants to try something different, and he trusts me. There are things I do with him that I would never of suggested to previous boyfriends.

    So I guess it depends on how you feel about the person, and how well you know them, and possibly about how damn horny they make you.

    </too much infomation>


By Isolde on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 01:01 am:

    Yeah. What she said.


By Margret on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 09:41 am:

    Umm. Sex is the least important element in any romantic relationship I have. As long as both of my hands are left intact and my imagination remains free (and I can snag 8 minutes or so alone ever couple of days), well, just call me something other than Ishmael. It's nice when those interests synch up, but I'd honestly rather have a lover who thinks and says interesting things and likes to eat cold chinese food the morning after with his or her fingers. If that person wanted to eat the aforementioned cold chinese food from the juncture of my thighs in an elevator stopped between floors in a crowded building...well, so much the better. But, uh, yeah, never mind.


By Patrick on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 10:59 am:

    i would like to say that guys will be guys and if you suggest something to him butt naked, in the heat of the momet, give him a few minutes to digest it and he will be game in no time, unless you are dealing with pain, diapers or urination.....in which case, i suggest you seek out those specific facets of society......

    i can't imagine any dude saying to thbe effect of "....nawwwww...i can't stick it in your arse......nawwwwww i don't wanna do it in the bathroom.......nawwwwwww i don't want you to do a headstand split......"

    etc.


    maybe you read to much into it Gee


By Rhiannon on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 11:21 am:

    Did you tell him what you like, Gee? If not, maybe he was assuming that you didn't like to do anything wild (you've said you were shy...maybe he thought you must be shy in all the areas of your life). So he didn't want to freak you out.

    OR he really *does* like to do *really* intense things and he didn't want to talk about it or is embarrassed about it.

    Or he really is just conservative.


By Patrick on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 11:40 am:

    yeah thats it Rhi. I suspect most guys assume they always want to do more than the girl, at least during adolescence. Guys are called perverts far more than girls are generally speaking, maybe he was just concealing to woo you


By J on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 12:00 pm:

    I think that when you are comfortable with someone and they with you then you just go with it with no restrictions.On the other hand when I was younger and say s/o wanted a blow job I was like your asking me to put that in my mouth?You want to put your pecker there?


By Peaceful Dragon formerly known as R.C. on Saturday, February 19, 2000 - 02:51 am:

    I can't remember ever having a guy who wasn't up for experimentation/after we got past the 'getting-to-know-you-&-figuring-out-what-makes-you-scream'phase. ;) I think guys really do like a woman who's sexually adventurous.

    Don't write him off just becuz he's sounds conservative in bed. He might have been trying to feel you out/or make a good impression on YOU, Gee. (You sound seem like the type who appears to be a goody-2-shoes-girl-next-door.) The biggest freaks are usually the ones you never suspect.

    And besides -- you dig him as a basic human entity/right? So shdn't you be willling to spend some private time w/him w/out having sex on the brain?

    Don't over-analyze -- just ask him out for coffe some nite/& see what transpires. But if he blows you off again/I say forget him.


By Gee on Saturday, February 19, 2000 - 04:29 am:

    I really didn't intend for this to be about me personally, it was just a general question based on something I was talking to Ishmael about. I'm pretty sure he's not interested, so it's not even an issue with us. Doesn't anyone think that sexual compatability (sp) is important in a relationship?

    I'm think it depends. If a person doesn't want to try one or two things, I'm okay with that, but I don't think I could really be satisfied with someone who wasn't willing to experament sometimes.

    as an interesting side note: I really really get the impression from things Ishmael has said that he things I'm a virgin. Why do people keep doing that?? I don't feel like I sound naive (sp?), I'm just trying to pick the person's brain. I don't know that he thinks that for sure, but I suspect.



    anyway since this thread has his name: I had a dream about him the other night. I dreamed we were sorting books in the same general area and he was sitting on one of those little stools with wheels they have in libraries. I made him move over so I could stand on the edge of it with one foot to reach a high shelf. He said to me: "You know, if I get up now, you'll fall over." and I said "Don't do that. If you make me fall I'll never trust you again." but he did get up and I fell over. I can't remember if he laughed at me but I remember he tried to help me up and I pulled away from him. I was Really mad.

    Don't have to be too bright to figure out what That dream's about.



    I guess I talk about him too much. I'll stop soon.


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