| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
|---|
i would spend a thousand dollars. I'd go to the store and bye three water melons and I would bye two dimond rings that would be great. I'd put some in the bank. I'd bye a rabbit's foot I'd like to give some to Jesus. I'd go to pluto then go to the store again. I'd bye two or three horses five barns sixteen puppies I'd like to give some to my mother. I'd have three kittens and twenty cats. I would save the rest for school. Even though I do have a thousanb dollars and three cent I'm just kidding I have 900 and thirty nine dollars. No I don't. |
|
|
if i had a thousand dollars, i'd pack everything in my car and have a long road trip. i'd end up living in the city i was in when i realized i had only $100 left. |
|
i hate using the bathroom at night. stupid dark bathroom |
|
Boring. If I had a thousand dollars, I'd go to Scotland. And adopt me a little red-headed baby boy. And buy some land. And build a house. And get some big dogs and some sheep. And go back to school. And buy a new car. And have a Tudor-style dress tailor-made for me in red velvet and ermine. And and and |
When I first started working here, one of my co-workers tried to get me involved in this internet commerce business endeavor enterprise thing-o that i didn't understand at all. Something like you buy stuff and then you sell it to other people and that gets you points and the more points you have the more $ you make. But I didn't understand how points turn into dollars. So the co-worker asked me to go to one of the company's starter meetings. So I went. And all the people talked about was how great it was to be rich. And they handed out tapes to listen to, and all the tapes said was how great it was to be rich. "Don't you want to be rich? I want you to visualize all the things you could do with a little extra money..." And I was like, duh. Do we really need to have our ambition validated? Why don't you talk about the important stuff, like how the points turn into dollars? But no one would give me a straight answer. So I said forget it: this is shady. And the people there acted upset with me. Like *that's* not shady. Right. So months later, my co-worker claims she's doing so well at this business that she could quit her job here. But she still can't explain how points turn into dollars. Shady shady shady. |
|
|
but it ain't those poor bastards earning points. Reminds me of electrolux. They must have drugged me or something. I didn't even get any points. |
|
Kinda scary |
he's just lettin' you in on a little secret about most of the crap people buy |
|
DUMB IDIOTIC STUPID DUMB greedylazyslowidioticfuckingbastards |
|
|
i don't now i said people are stupid i am a people you all should know by now not to listen to me when i start yelling |
but i really meant that. you know damn well you have a footing in an upper echelon of brains in this world. |
and she asks if she can have it... Then I look at her and ask "You know what the best thing is on tv? What? I turn it off. |
|
|
|
i'll take my vacation and do some traveling. |
you didn't say vacation, up there. you said relocation. |
|
|
but i'll get my bike fixed and make a trailer. it would be a shame to waste that iprc membership, though. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
i thought you were gonna give it to em! |
|
i don't know. it doesn't matter. i've got other plans now. |
i have $1000, and i need it badly, for food and rent. *sigh* if i had an extra $1000, i'd just pay more rent. *sob* if there was more after that, i'd grab a friend and take a bus somewhere. Get tattoos. Buy a cat and all the fancy-ass cat toys that cats get sick of after a day and never touch. Spoil that puss rotten. Take a homeless kid out for wings. Go to the bank and take it out in cash, all $5 bills, pile it on the living room floor and fuck on it, then spend it giggling. |
|
of course, then I would still be thousands of dollars in debt. hey Nate, wanna give me some money? |
Hopefully they would lift it so high I would never see him again |
if i had a thousand bucks i would buy as many dobermanns as possible and have a grand cat hunt. prizes to the first one to get enough cat pelts to make a dress for wisper. |
the list of targets for the grand bowel disrupter ray, come X-Day. Just wait. |
|
Lets start at the back of the alphabet,on X-day. |
|
|