So, is this Flirting or Not?


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By R.C. on Saturday, April 29, 2000 - 07:34 pm:

    This is gonna sound like one of Cyst's stories/but not nearly as dramatic/unfortunately.


    So anyway.... I went out w/some of the crew from work last nite. A group of us were officially hired as of Mon./so we decided to go out & celebrate. It was an all-girl group thing/but we did invite my supervisor Jon (tall, good-looking Italian-type/28/originally from Boston w/a wife & a 3-yr-old daughter) & this other guy Ron (40/scrawny/I wd swear he was Gay but he has mentioned living w/some girlfriend in the past) whose birthday it was.

    Jon had spent a good hour of the previous evening's shift telling us abt how he'd quit drinking 2 wks. ago/becuz he swears he can't go out & just have 1 or 2 beers -- he has to finish a whole 12 pk. Which is silly -- everybody knowns you can't buy 12-pks. at a bar/1st of all. And if you drink a bunch of beers/it's becuz you chose not to stop at 1 or 2/not becuz the beers jumped out from behind the bar & poured themselves down yr throat. He said it wasn't becuz he had a 'drinking problem' -- mainly/he was quitting out of vanity/becuz he's getting a beer belly. (Now *that* kind of teetoatler I understand.) I'd told him he shd stop being a wuss & switch to booze/which doesn't have as many calories as beer & which gives you more bang for the buck. But he insisted he drinks only Icehouse/whatever that is.

    He also quit smoking 2 wks. ago/becuz smokes have gotten so expensive. "My cigarette $$ cd be going to my kid's college fund..." blah, blah, blah. Actually/his stories abt his various exploits/ like going out drinking in Ybor City & leaving his brother behind becuz he didn't meet him back at the car on time/were pretty funny. And he does a lot of schtick -- Forrest Gump impressions/ Eastwood/Schwarzenegger/Lee Majors (remember 'The 6 Million Dollar Man"?). It was slow on Thurs./ so having an entertaining supervisor helps pass the time.

    So we invited Jon to come out & "not have a drink" w/us. And we invited Ron out for a birthday drink. But Ron had reservations at someplace in Tampa & John begged off. So we figured it wd be a Girls Nite Out.

    So the 6 of us meet up at this dive down the street from work. Renna & I were the last ones to arrive/& were greeted by these fools hollering my name out as I walked into the place/so everybody in the bar immediately new who *I* was... But the others had gotten off @ 6:30/whereas Renna & I work til 8:00/so they'd had a definite head-start on us. And 2 of my girls were drinking Guniess -- yuk! Then abt 20 min. after I arrived/Jon & Ron show up!

    So everyone started razzing Jon & refusing to let him order a drink/but we finally let the waitress bring him an Icehouse. Then he proceedeed to bum a smoke off of CJ/who smokes Shermans/like me/but not the same ones. And Jon was fascinated by her cigaretes/but to his credit/he had only 1. Ron had a whiskey & coke. And I tried to get a 'Rita but the place was out of sour mix! So I asked the waitress-cum-bartender cdn't she squeeze some limes -- every bar has limes. Which she finally agreed to do. But the bitch didn't use the tequila I'd asked for (Sauza) becuz she insisted 1800 was better. Yet I saw her pouring the cheap Cuervo & found out later she'd charged me for 1800! And my drinks were mostly ice. Plus I'd bought the 1st round/but she put everyone's drink on MY tab for the entire nite. And there wasn't any t.p. in the bathroom -- we had to go to the bar & ASK for toilet paper! Then when the t.p. finally materialized/there was NO SOAP/so you cdn't wash yr hands after taking a leak. Which is sooooo skeevey! There was a bottle of Windex on one of the tables/so I used that to wash my hands with afterwards. And I made it a point to only use the loo once.

    But by the time we were ready to pay up & leave & I realized what the waitress had done/it wasn't worth arguing abt/so I just paid the tab & told the others to leave a tip & they'd get my back next time we went out.

    Anyway/the following things happened during the course of the evening. Which in hindsight/I interpret as flirting. But maybe I'm wrong. So you tell me:

    -- After Jon finally got his (1st) beer/he sat down in the chair next to mine at the table next to where all us girls were. Ron & another girl from work & her housemate were at a table down on the floor/the rest of us were at tables up on the platform. Which meant Jon & I were sitting thisclose/becuz I was sitting w/my back to the wall & the tables were quite close together. But he cd've sat on the other side of the table just as easily.

    -- Jon proceeded to peel the label off his beer bottle & stick it on my thigh. Which was clothed becuz I had on jeans. But still -- why do that?

    -- At one point/Jon reached over & took the banana clip out of my hair/telling me I shd "let me hair down -- it's Friday nite". And before I cd stop him/my hair was spilling down my back. (The others did egg him on in this/but no one else had their 'do undone by Jon.) I did manage to put it back up/but not before hearing him compliment me on how shiny it was.

    [Ron/BTW/had 1 drink & left to make his previously-scheduled rendez-vous. Leaving Jon to marvel aloud at how 'hot' he must be to be hanging out w/6 babes. Which caused us all fall out laughing. There was definitely a lot of laughter all around that nite.]

    -- Since I had no cash on me becuz I hadn't had a chance to hit the bank/I was planning to use my ATM card to pay. When I asked the girls if I cd take some singles off the table for the jukebox/ Jon reached into his pocket/handed me $3.00 & said "Let's go pick out some music." And proceeded to stand thisclose to me at the juke box while I punched in the numbers.

    -- Later/we all went into the back room to try & get a game of pool. But the only table was taken by this other group of guys/so we had to wait. While we were waiting/one of the guys who was playing said something abt "Niggers" very loudly. Then 1 of his friends got on his case/becuz apparently his sister was married to 'one of them'. I was on the oppostie side of the room from the rednecks/& Jon was sitting btwn me them. And he's tall/so they prolly hadn't seen me there. But Jon turns around & gives me a look as if to say "Are you cool w/this?" And I give him back a "What the fuck/consider the source" kinda look. Then Jon gets up & walks over to the ping-pong table next to the pool table & starts playing ping-pong w/Renna & another girl. And the guy who made the Nigger remark walks over & says something to Jon/which I cdn't hear. Then the guy walks over to ME & apologizes for what he said earlier. To which my response was "You weren't talking to me or abt me/so, whatever...." Then Jon comes back to where I'm sitting & we get into a discussion abt how this is why I rarely go out to neighborhood bars (vs. chain establishments like TGI Friday's or Appleby's) becuz some shit like this almost always happens in places like this one. And I tell him my story abt clocking that bitch at The Corner Pocket when I found her going thru my wallet in the loo. Which Jon thought was hysterical & totally out-of-character. And he asked if I wanted to go somwehere else to drink. But I didn't want to make all my girls get up & leave over something that trivial. However/I thought that was very solicitous of him.

    -- Later/Jon decided he wanted to get some better food/so he suggested we go to Appleby's/which was nearby. But the suggestion wasn't really a "Hey guys/wanna go to Appleby's?" general invitation. The others were nearby but not listening when he said it. But I automatically assumed he was including everyone. And I know he had an hour's drive back to Tampa where he lives/so I said it was prolly a good idea that he get some more food in him. (We'd had a small order of buffalo wings earlier/but that was the extent of anyone's dinner. And he'd had 3 or 4 beers after 2 wks. of being alcohol-free. He seemed fine/but I figured he was a lot more drunk than he realized.) Then the others announced that they'd decided to call it a nite/but I really was hungry & wanted to hit Appleby's for some more eats & a decent 'Rita. So I pulled Ann off to the side & talked her into going w/us becuz I figured it wdn't look right for me to go alone w/Jon since he's married & my supervisor.

    Appleby's is less than 10 min. from my hse/so I told them I had to run home to feed Six (poor thing hadn't eaten in 12 hrs. by this time!) & I'd meet them there. Which I did -- much to Ann's relief/who swore I was gonna ditch them & leave her stuck w/a "married supervisor". And Jon razzed me becuz he'd overheard me badgering Ann into coming w/us so it wdn't look wrong. And he assured us that his wife hangs out w/her girls til 4a.m. & he was cool w/that so she was cool w/him going out after work. Pointed out that his beeper hadn't gone off all nite/so she obviously wasn't looking for him. (But it cd've been on vibrate.) Altho' he admitted it used to freak him out when she went out w/her girls after they were 1st married. But one of his boys (a Brother/no less) enlightened him to the fact that whatever she was out there doing/she was gonna do anyway/& how marriage is abt Trust/so he needed to stop sweating her.... And we all had some decent food. And I had 2 really good Ritas. And Jon treated both of us/which was nice.


    Okay, so am I just so out of synch w/the male gender or so overly-sensitive as to be misinterpreting Jon's actions during the evening as flirting? He showed up after saying he wasn't going to come. He drank when he cd've just as easily ordered soda. He spent more time talking to me than to anyone else in the group. The sticker-on-my-leg thing. The taking-down-my-hair thing. Yet he very clearly stated that he's been married for 6 yrs. & has never cheated on his wife becuz "If it weren't for her/I'd be the biggest loser on Earth. She means everything to me." Which is the way I like to hear men talk abt their wives.

    But I also know that some married folks often look for a little excitement & engage in quasi-provocative flirting behavoir just for the hell of it. I'm not abt having someone's else's husband using me a diversion to boost his ego.
    I know I wasn't flirting w/him. I made it a point not to dance w/him when he asked/just to avoid too much close physical proximity. To me/hanging out w/Jon & the others was no different than the way I'd hang out w/Patrick & a bunch of Sorabjians. But I know Patrick wdn't flirt w/me or anyone else/becuz he's married.

    And I know that there are some chicks out there who think every good-looking guy on Earth has the hots for them. But I definitely do not suffer from *that* delusion.

    So do I have cause for concern here? Or am I over-reacting & becuz a schmuck? Or was he in fact flirting w/me/which means I shd avoid hanging out anyplace he's going to show up at in the future?
    He didn't do anything worth speaking on/really. I mean/I didn't feel like he was in my face trying to Mack. It was more subtle than that/but I definitely sensed something under the surface. For me to say something to him wd only make matters worse if this is just how he is outside of the office.

    So...am I buggin'/or what?



By semillama on Sunday, April 30, 2000 - 12:25 am:

    A> Yes, he was flirting with you. Even the bit about his wife was flirting.

    B> Yes, you are buggin'.

    C>Icehouse? Key-rist.

    D> Just the mention of girls who drink Guinness perks my ears.

    E>Appleby's!?

    F> There is no F.


By Gee on Sunday, April 30, 2000 - 01:23 am:

    I say if you Think he was flirting with you, he was flirting with you. It's really a personal thing, so go with your instincts.


By J on Sunday, April 30, 2000 - 12:01 pm:

    He has the hots for you,AVOID him,I wouldn,t bet my life that Patrick wouldn,t flirt with you:)


By R.C. on Sunday, April 30, 2000 - 07:25 pm:

    I know. Our Patrick has become the yardstick by which I measure all married men I meet.

    Nobody even comes close.


By droopy on Sunday, April 30, 2000 - 08:30 pm:

    guiness is the bomb.

    "an irishman is the only man in the world who would crawl across twenty naked women to get to a pint of guiness." - Brendan Behan.

    never order a mixed drink (a cheatable drink) in a bar until you have learned the true personality of the bar and bonded with your bartender.


By Isolde on Sunday, April 30, 2000 - 09:26 pm:

    I would probably crawl across twenty naked women to get a pint of Guinness. But it would have to be in Ireland. The stuff here is just no good in comparison to the stuff I was served on tap in Eire.


By Antigone on Monday, May 1, 2000 - 01:12 am:

    I wouldn't crawl across twenty naked women for a
    Guiness, even in Ireland. I weight 270lb and one
    or more of them would get hurt, no doubt. Now, to
    have all of them walk naked on my back...


By J on Monday, May 1, 2000 - 02:13 am:

    I remember this gal I used to work with at scroteumrolla,her husband telling me that he dreamed of walking on a field of tits.She had ferettes don,t know what this means.


By cyst on Monday, May 1, 2000 - 10:00 am:

    I read somewhere that taking heroin was like "floating on a cloud of titties. "

    I had a really good weekend in seattle. I was nervous about it at first because I had to stay with guys who want to fuck me instead of with my best girlfriend like I normally do. I figured I was going to have to deal with a lot of pawing and pleading.

    but there was only a normal, reasonable amount of pawing, and I pretty much didn't have to argue at all. and they still went out and bought me crab and prawn dinners, and one said he really wanted to take me to nordstrom and get my makeup done at the bobbi brown counter because there were a couple other girls there he wanted to flirt with. he thinks it helps his case if he brings a woman with him.

    so I got my face made up. ("please make me pretty," I told her. "there's someone I want to impress.") she only used like six pieces of makeup, but the total came to like $120. and he paid for it all, which was cool.

    so after that I went out for dinner with this other really cute, really nice guy, then I went to meet up with a chick friend. we were supposed to get drinks and then she was going to be my date for the show where I knew I was going to see the important guy. but she never showed up. so I got drunk by myself.

    I was wearing black jeans -- it was cold and I didn't know how I was going to get home, so I didn't wear a little dress. and I wore a very, very small, extremely low-cut, stretchy top that didn't come close to covering my stomach. when I tried it on for my friday night host, he convinced me to cut out the built-in bra. so the shirt was like a contour map of my chest.

    at the show I got drunk and hot and took the cardigan off and stood up front and had to deal with guys tapping me on the shoulder and introducing themselves. hi. smile. when one of them got a round of fresh drinks, I looked at him, held my hand out, and then drank his shot of caramel-colored liquor. what a stupid bitch I was.

    I talked to important guy and his girlfriend and I guess I was so alcohol-numbed that it didn't bother me much. later I got a ride home from a mutual friend and told him everything.

    he looked at me and said, "really?" he seemed very surprised. "I thought he was having an affair with a girl named KRISTI."


By patrick on Monday, May 1, 2000 - 12:09 pm:

    for the love of god, don't use me as your yard stick. i am by no means the perfect husband.

    By nature I am not a big flirt. But the wife and i occassionally flirt with others, harmless, playful stuff. I am not the kinda guy to get jealous when she sits on Angry Sam's lap......or something like that. If i ever meet you RC, you can bet I will flirt now (wink wink nudge nudge)

    It's hard to say otherwise if this guy was flirting or not. He may have been testing the waters, seeing how you would react. If he is gonna fool around, he ideally may want to see if he could get you to be the bigger flirt and he can hide in his conscious by justifying that he was "seduced". He may have been just being playful, found himself fond of you and had no real intentions of anything more....it's hard to say. I would let it go though....it seems it's not that bigga deal.


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