| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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masturbation. |
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he might be twelve. or crippled. or dead. there may be all kinds of reasons she can't have him. has anyone ever heard the henry rollins spoken word bit when he talks about how he met tom waits and the story he tells him? "ferget her. she's a heartbreaker. she'll do it again. she did the same thing to me." |
The Cynical Wedding is very simple: The groom is a bullet. The bride is the roof of your mouth. Get it? |
So, you doing anything the second week of May (that is, you're in Richmond, right)? I'm in D.C. then for a conference. Let me know if you wanna grab a meal or drink or something. I can't promise I'm as fun a guy as Patrick but I'm definitely shorter. |
yay! |
No, there is no cure. Offer up the suffering. |
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i just wrote you back. let's see which you read first. i'm gonna try and catch a bus up to D.C. after work Wed night, stay with Rex, skip work Thursday (the wenches owe me) and head back friday night. I so wanna go giraffe tipping. |
Watch out giraffes! |
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One, he's under age. We'd all hate, at least most of us would, to see a news story about you being arrested for relations with some under aged partner. Very messy. And, prison uniforms aren't sexy. Two, one of you is married. It usually won't make the news. But, it can be just as messy. Especially if children are in volved. Otherwise, go for it. The worst that could happen is rejection. And, here that's normal. |
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(Sorry) |
My Ex included. My Ex ESPECIALLY. Remember that Cynical Wedding option----it's a doozy. |
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i think veronica is a middle aged woman who likes the hot data entry temp girl. she only referes to him as a guy to mask her uncertainty. this is veronica's first self admission to the possibility that maybe, just maybe, no man has ever brought her to orgasm and that she is finally at a point in her life where she can muster the courage to do something about it. the reason that she cannot have her, is because she is shooting for upper management and fucking the temps isn't condusive to promotion or raises until AFTER you're upper management. seeing her predicament, i humbly recommend that she seek satiation via an alterNATE channel. easily she could blackmail one of the hottay lower-downs into having a date with this melissa character. from there, it's money. for a couple hundred, christy the lower down, lowers down and provides a high grade peep show via web cam for the lusty and grateful veronica. this of course will lead to an affair between veronica and the perm. melissa, sure to cause ample grief and conflict: Melissa vs. climbing the corporate ladder; both goals she has always flirted with, but never dreamed would or could make themselves known to her simultaneously. |
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Jackass Inspires Morons, Upsets Pussies |
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it's very entertaining. |
and his words have such a lovely tone of irony |
I say let nature run its course. i deem these kind of events natural selection. which by the way, have you seen the Darwin Awards lately? |
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but that's because my humor level sometimes lowers itself to age five. I bought one of those fart machines. I couldn't help it. I'm gonna attach it to the inside of the catbox and when I have company, hit the remote control switch. It's little things. |