the place i work at has opened up a second business next door. it's trying to bring in the girls from the local college (literally just down the street from us) by selling what are supposed to be cool clothes, jewelry, and fashion accessories for them to spend their disposable income on. here's the problem: we're trying to figure out how to advertise the stuff. mickie and i are both old and tragically unhip - all we know are terms like "cool" and "hip", we just don't know how these kids talk these days. maybe y'all can come up with something. think of new ways to say cool and hip or just repeat current ones or just be completely smartass about it. and somehow work in "california" or "westcoast". thank you.

Name the store "So f*cking hot" Cha-CHING!

hire a cool girl from the college aside from word of mouth, i usually get interested in a store via the name and pretty pictures

the store has been open for about a month and already has a name: "stella's" - named after mickie's dog, a jack russel terrier that is sort of the "shop dog". this concept is so adorable that it got a write-up in the paper. we've actually hired two girls from the college and one from the local high school in hopes of doing the word of mouth thing. i don't know if any of them are actually cool or not. but at least one of them doesn't know how to figure state tax.

can you ask them to help with the copy? i have no idea what most people think is cool as i am an over-educated elitest. *snicker* hey wait! hire cute boys! use cute pictures of stella, talk about how she wants to meet people. dude, i have no idea.

Hire cure gay boys.

we can't afford to hire anybody else. we have cute pictures and artistic renderings of stella because we have two painters and two photographers on staff. don't take this too seriously. all i wanted was that magic sorabji wordplay that you all came up with when 4 years ago i asked you to name our new store. we didn't use any of your suggestions, but it was fun.

buy this magical sorabji crap! fuck you, you ass- you need this! satan's severed head wants you to pay for this!

that's what i'm talkin' about.

quote song lyrics! I want to live where soul meets body And let the sun wrap its arms around me And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing And feel, feel what its like to be new

Well, you definitely want to work the words "vintage" and "posh" in there somewhere. You could try to work the recycled/reused angle and try to give the store a environmental edge. I don't know, I'm not hip either damnitall.

everyone in california is doing it, westsiiiiiiiiieeeeede. hella california california, we're better than you, so buy something california, blondes only. unless you have money. oakland, two murders per capita, yo. (that stat, while horribly fucked up, is absolutely true)

How is that possible? (sorry, droopy, I've got nothing) (but I would peek into a store that advertised itself as tragically hip)

put together a josie & the pussycats redux, leave the doors open and have this "house band" play every saturday at noon. serve easy cheese and olives on ritz crackers and some sort of punch with sherbet in it. make sure your josie/pussycats houseband are cute and loud; they can be talented but must be amateurish. all young women must think "i could do that" and associate the rockstar dream with your product. thank you, that is all. p.s. if you stock in gama-go t-shirts in women's size large, then when i visit my internet boyfriend in comanche i will leave for dfw a couple of hours early and buy product from you myself, pussycats or no.

it isn't possible, spider. that's the joy of absolutely true.

advertise in the free weekly. put a vintage couch somewhere in the store, preferably in the window display. have a contest to win a nano.

droopy,push flyers in letter boxes,it worked for me 40 years back,v got 2 years advance building work from that,mazeltov,hombre.

that would be a federal offense in the USA, v.

...also,try a postcard size add in 3 fine newsagents=peanuts,its what v did years back,it works.Dont bother with newspapers.,v lost thousands on that.

host an art function droop. if space permits and it doesnt look forced, have an 'opening' possibly with a local hipster group. get a local beverage (wine) sponsor to provide hooch for the event. tie in a local artist and put their work on the wall. events events events get people in your store.

Nate,Your stuff becomes my stuff,so tell me your legislation in the U.S.A.,if you will be so kind Sir...Nate,its an odd thing,but American law becomes English law real fast...Nate,you ever feel the U.K. is just another American state?..YOUR opinion if you will be so kind...

this store - stella's - is next door to the business we've been running for four years - full circle emporium. for all this time we've been advertising in the the free weekly, the fort worth newspaper, the tcu college paper, and other things i'm probably not aware off. we often host "trunk shows" where our artists, seamstresses, jewelry makers, etc. can showcase their wares. 2 times a year we're a gallery for the "gallery night" run by the fort worth art dealers association. we helped to start the "first saturday" of bluebonnet circle (bluebonnet is a traffic circle with a park in the middle), a festival the first saturday of each month which is sort of a combination of a fair and a flea market. and some other stuff. we're at no loss for a place to advertise, it's just that mickie worries about how to word the ads. she once called me up and had me look up the word "couture(sp?)" in the dictionary to make sure she was using it correctly. then she had me looking through the thesaurus for other ideas. personally, i think we should take a cue from the bluebonnet liquor store: their ad in the college paper consisted of a picture of a sexy girl in a catholic schoolgirl outfit (short plaid skirt, tight white shirt) sitting in an elemtary school desk.

elementary.

Nate,you need to post back fast,v is starting to regard you as an airport.

droop, what are competitors doing? it sounds like you guys are doing all the right things. by your asking for ideas, are things not going so well? is there a fashion market week in Dallas?

the fifty-first state. there was a samuel l. jackson movie out in 2001. it was called the fifty-first state in the UK, i can't remember what the called it here. i think they had to change the name for the americans because we wouldn't understand. "fifty-first state? isn't that alaska? why is this thing set in england?"

All good ideas! You should also host rummage sales that local crafty types can come and sell their wares at once a month, or so. Have it correspond with the music and the art shows, and you'll be golden. This event in Seattle is wildly successful: http://www.iheartrummage.com/

if you gave us already done specific copy it would be a lot easier to make suggestions. tell us what you want to say.

put a cute lil' a-frame sign on the sidewalk stock a bunch of sunglasses and put them on everything.... every mannequin needs sunglasses, big displays and mirrors so people can see how awesome they look get some random fabric, some notions and host an "iron seamstress", auctioning the clothing off and donating the proceeds to an animal shelter (not so much focused on money making, but people will come in & see the shop, keep the register open, and generate tons of interest) it sounds a bit like frock on alberta and naked city on hawthorne... i'll have to check those places out again.

this is what i came up with: http://miltonjames.com/p2/IMG_7615.jpg i feel this image appeals to a broad spectrum of potential cash carrying customers. ps. since i have not been drunk since the last time i posted severely impaired, i would like to mention that tonight i am: 1. raiding the wine cellar. 2. taking self portraits. 4. giving not a fuck. pss. 1. liquid explosives 2. elliot smith is dead 3. fuck you, you ass

i like that picture. i think i have a picture of my great-great-aunt nina in almost exactly the same pose. i have been maintenance drinking whiskey for the past week. i had no real expectations when i posted any of this, i just wanted to see what would happen. some interesting ideas. i'm considering putting out my own line of greeting cards using old pictures of my family. i have one of my uncle mike, after whom i was named, and who had died when he was twelve of a congenital heart defect. the picture will go on the front of the card: it's him at about 11 (in about 1946, i think) looking famine thin with a shock of white hair, buck teeth, and two enormous ears projecting straight out from a head that seems to have been flattened on the sides with a vise. he's holding a rifle in one hand and proudly displaying a dead rabbit in the other. the inside will read: "happy easter." i find this incredibly funny. to be honest, i'm less than thrilled with the way that all of this is going. i like the money, but i miss just being a quiet little antique/junk shop. the people you meet are more interesting.

i want to go to i heart rummage :( Seattle was supposed to stop being cool in 1999 so i could stop wanting to go there.

Nate,England is also part of America,has been so for ages,you get bombed,we get bombed also,but for the record,the rest of Europe hates you,we dont.

i think the rest of europe hates my government, not me.