OK, I have a low tolerance for alcohol. So when can you be considered imbibed enough to post here? I never get to the passed out phase, but I'm backspacing and correcting a lot here. So what ARE the minimum requrements? I feel I am qualified right now, but the amount some of you drink would literally kill me. Long weekend. Good.

advance notice wil lsuffice, soes we can have our modile unit prepared for persoanl imspection....straightline, finger to nose, blowing in strange beeping pipes, that kind a of thing....so in order to verify we need to have advance notice. I say we put Jim in charge of that

Waf, should we call for additional backup? This could get messy.

jesus where is my speak and spell......Back up unita are standing stand by....defcon 3

these are my guidlines: 1. if you're drunk enough you won't be wondering if you're drunk enough. 2. if you have trouble focusing on the screen, you won't be worrying about backspacing. 3. buy a pint of 10 High and stick a label on it that reads "Insurance". leave this by the computer. if you find yourself wondering if you're drunk enough, take 5 quick shots from the bottle to insure that you are. wtf am i doing. i'm dead sober.

amen

Asking this group for advice on getting fucked up is like asking JFK Jr. for advice on piloting small aircraft.

HEY! We mean well! It's not everyday someone asks when they're drunk enough to post.

i dunno, simon. we have some quality veterans here.

I wholeheartedly agree. And the soviet union build some quality nuclear reactors, too.

Yes they did. Now look where they are. Soldiers of the Red Army pandering at the intersections of busy streets because their government hasn't paid them for months. Go Big Red!!!!!

And any one of them could drink our collective asses under the table, too.

that's given. what else do they have to do?

i beg to differ.......

i keg a pisser

my leg is a kisser

why bag a pisser?

I peg your sister.

hell, i'll fist her.

there's one of you in every bite

Her son's an awful inebriate ten fuckin'high guaranteed blackout potion used to drink it with my buddy Nik de Dik and wathc movies. I would remember sitting down to wathc the film, then the next thing I remember is getting up after the film is over. I first watched Friday that way, and I could remember laughing a lot and that Ice Cube was in it plus marijuana.

My daddy got a big promotion. My momma got a raise in pay. There's no one home, we're all alone, oh come into my room and play.

I wasn't drunkm when I wrote that. I laugh in the face of the rules! Hahahaahaa!!!!

Well,drunk like a fucker, and don't care who knows it. And I'm at work, gotta love the weekend shift!!!!!1 woooo hoooooo!!!!!! Hey Gee i seem to remember you saying you lived in Toronto area (richmond hill) if you wanna go drinking some time drop me a line, im really nearby.

What the fu%$?, who the hell writes this shit? Are you all drunk? or am I missing something? No, wait, I got it, you're all drunk!!!! Sweet dude, I have been out for 7or6 hours, and can remember hoe to typ, its taken e lik ten mins to write this much,,,,,,but what the fuck, thats why its here, rihgt?>??

I don't drink, Kevin. Except sometimes I share a fuzzy navel with my sister and she hogs it all. Hey, am I the only person in sorabji who's never been drunk? (the only person old enough to drink...)

Nope, and God willing, I hope I never do. The idea of stumbling around and vomiting is not especially appealing to me.

be always drunken. nothing else matters; that is the only question. if you would not feel the horrible burden of time weighing on your shoulders and crushing you to the earth, be drunken continually. drunken with what? with wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you will. but be drunken. and if, sometimes, on the stairs of a palace, or the green side of a ditch, or the dreary solitude of your own room, you should awake and the drunkeness be half or wholly slipped away from you, ask of the wind, or of the wave, or of the star, or of the bird, or of the clock, or whatever flies or sighs or rocks or sings or sleeps, ask what the hour is, and the wind wave star bird clock will answer you: it is the hour to be drunken! be drunken if you would not be martyred slaves of time, be drunken continually. with wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you will. -baudelaire. i typed all that out from memory, so sue me if it isn't word for word right. i even recited it by memory to a counsellor at a hospital who was trying to determine whether i was an alcoholic. i was to clever to be discovered, though. cheers. (i learned this from the old movie version of "long days journey into night", the one with catherine hepburne. i notice that a version will be on tv sometime in the future.)

cheers to you, too. that was inspiring. i'm off to the bodega.

I like that...drunk with virtue, like St. Theresas and her ecstasies. drunk with virtue drunk with virtue

It's a wonder Swine gets anything done, he's always going to bed. My friend ren likes to say she's GREENSTICKED. which I can never type in anything but caps. I knnow the word has a real and true meaning, but she's adapted it for her own purposes. Now it means that state of mine you get into when you've been awake for days and you're all hyped up on caffeen and the walls look like they're moving and you've gotten your fifth wind and you're ready to bounce through the ceiling. So I've never been drunk, but I've been GREENSTICKED, which is pretty close, I think. I act hyper and emotional and tell people what they really mean to me, but I don't get naked and dance on any tables, and there is no vomit present. So I think it works out alright. I don't know...for some reason I just feel the need to type. Do you think it's alright to sleep with a boy if his girlfriend is someone you hate?

Main Entry: bo·de·ga Pronunciation: bo-DAY-ga Function: noun Etymology: Spanish, from Latin apotheca storehouse -- more at APOTHECARY Date: 1846 1 : a storehouse for maturing wine 2 a : WINESHOP b (1) : 1BAR 5a (2) : BARROOM 3 : a store specializing in Hispanic groceries if you ever do get naked and dance on any tables, you should get it recorded and post the video on the web. generally speaking, sleeping with other people's nookie is bad business. but sometimes ya just gotta live a little... go nuts.

still drunk. I hadn' drunk in what two months? three moths? but tonight I went to a tavern with this prick I know from a few years ago. I had told him about how I want to drink at all the taverns in prtland and he said he had a new one for my list. the point. we got there and the bartender old us that saturday is ladies' night -- any beer for a buck. so I drank pints of some fancy nw microbrew and got drnk enough to agree to play pool. I lost, of course, but I kept coaxing dollars out of my date because I had no money and I played my tavern song, magic man by heart. they're from seattle, just like kenny g.

"Do you think it's alright to sleep with a boy if his girlfriend is someone you hate?" I don't see it as "alright." I see it as a moral obligation.

heart are actually from bellevue. that's a great song, but "crazy on you" is better. i don't think it's okay to sleep with this boy, but i am usually moral to a fault. maybe don't listen to me.

gee-I have a friend named ren as well, who fits the greensticked definition, but it can't be the same person.

I havent vomited from drinking in years. The last time I did Jules sold tickets - I was lying on the bank of the Avon river at the time. I hate throwing up. yuck. thats rum tho. Fucken awful drink that I will never ever ever have with coke again. I will always be a bourbon girl.

Sem - my friend ren lives in Toronto and everyone she meets falls in love with her - including me. Where does your friend ren live? Everyone else - the sex question wasn't about Me. Just something I was wondering. I have no immidiate plans to sleep with anyone. Boy, Swine. When you tell someone they're wrong, you Really tell them.

it's real easy to manage your booze, I have only thown up twice in my drinking experience.....both incidents were in my first year of drinking in high school in which I had no fucking clue as to manage my liquor...... i had a great book called Drinking, Smoking and Screwing. It is a collection of poems and short stories by the likes of Anais, H.Miller, Ann Rice, Jack Kerouac and Anne Sexton all related to one of the three subjects. However the wifey, in an ironic drunken stupor at a Polish bar in Greenpoint, gave it to our good friend who lives in NC, she was thinking "I wouldn't mind" after I told her I "would mind". get the book gee, have DRINK with BIGkevin, SMOKE pot, and SCREW this other guy.........for fun I suppose......you might surprise yourself....

My Ren lives in south Range, Michigan. I told you it wasn't the same person. or maybe she's been cloned...i wouldn't be suprised. Rum is wha tlanded my ass in jail. stay the fuck away from it. In fact stay the fuck away from any alcohol that comes out of the caribbean. My freind Marco was on Nevis and had some of the local specialty. They found him later on the beach, spread eagled and clutching the sand. When asked what he was doing, he replied that if he let go of the earth, Will and Paul (two other friends who were on a mountain in Alaska at the time) would go flying off the planet.

gee - one of my sweetest memories is of when I was very young and dumb and in college and I was making out with this future department store ad model in the lobby of a sorority while his girlfriend, this crappy girl with whom I worked at the school paper and who had slept with fucking everyone in the newsroom, was upstairs getting her things so she could spend the night with him. I would have been attracted to him regardless, but that I disliked her made it all even better. who cares if it's wrong?

Waffle - I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I don't sleep with other people's boyfriends. So I guess fun is out of the question. Cyst - on the other hand... Do you think there are certain people who Deserve to have their SO's cheat on them?

Yes there are,people whose s/o cheats on them should not be surprised when they get a little payback.

i puke alky once every 4 months. like clockwork. but that's not being drunkk. that's being fucking trashed.

its a glorious event i presume?

i have no idea.

The worst is when you puked anything you ever had in you up,and your still dry heaving.I hate that when that happens.

ya, i rarely remember puking. last time i woke up, went to the bathroom and found the toilet seat ripped off and the shower full of yack. i vaguely remembered the bartender with a curly haired blonde child. apparently when she drove me home, she picked up her kid. don't remember that, though.

that sounds horrible, but i suppose it's a blessing you don't remember it. The last time i puked was trying to get a few mushrooms down on new years eve 2 years ago, and before that...my wife had caught a bad virus right after the Olympics in Atlanta on xmas eve. i could set my clock by her uncontrolled vomit spells, once about every 5 minutes. It was a horrible virus, and the thing was she didn't eat/drink anything but water for 2 days and yet she would spend a half hour over the toilet dry heaving. Then i got it 2 days later, but no where near as bad...but yeah that dry heave is the worst. you feel like your stomach is just gonna slip right on and into the toilet...

i've never puked on shrooms.

That New Years party,the one I stood on my head wearing a dress and flipped my ex out,I puked for 2 days straight, went 3 days without eating out of fear,I didn,t drink for a while after that.

well I have amental stigma, I hate mushrooms, OF ALL KINDS, the instant i taste them, smell them or feel them in my mouth, I automatically spew.....the first time i took shrooms i got strep throat.....BAD case of it too. but they are fun in moderation. I already have enough things skewing my preceptions......hallucinagins are good in small doses

no vomiting on shrooms here, either. came close once. Much evil vomiting when I was a dorm rat. I have friends who as an experiment one night drop a full hit of lsd, then took half hits every hour the rest of the night. I'm not sure how much they took. They're still sane, as far as I can tell.

i had a friend take 25+ hits over a 3 day weekend. He had troubles before, but the LSD put him over. He was literally walking around collecting random object, creating ficticious stories, completely out of his mind. We evntually lost him, the cops got him and took him to Butner State Hospital. scary fucking place...

Let this be a lesson. Never do over 20 hits of acid in one weekend. Go with the flow, do 18 or 19 tabs and runith amuckith.

One thing I hated about tripping was when you had yourself a trip party and then people you don't know show up when you are starting to peak. That happened twice in one night. The first time, the guy joined in. It was the first time any of us had met him except for this guy Ray. The new guy turned out to be ok, he droped with us. But his name was Ray, too, so we had to come up with nicknames for the Rays to keep them seperate ( especially important when you are dosed). the first Ray sort of looked like Jesus, especially when he stood with his arms out, so he becaem Jesus Ray or just Jesus. Teh other Ray, we decided his real name was Ed, so he became Ed Ray. I'm certain that for the entire night all he said was "uh-huh-huh-huh." Not unlike Butthead. Caveat Emptor

tripping alone is key.

I've heard it's good to take acid if you have to move out of/into an old/new place. last time I got so drunk I puked, I remember having a moment of clarity and thinking, "if I were sober, I would not rest my head on the rim of this toilet bowl." I've never tripped alone. good thing, too, because the trip usually extends into the night and I have to walk and walk and walk for hours. the dark roads with few cars. paths. parks. places it's bad to go alone at night, especially if you're female, especially on acid.

it's alright to go off by yourself when you trip, but I think someone should be around though. Sometimes you find something you have to share.

don't get me wrong, i don't think all trips should be solo. but at least once. everyone needs one. but make it shrooms, not acid. and take a shower at some point.

The first time I ever did acid in my life was half a tab of orange sunshine,my parents were very` strict,I had permission to go to the park a half a mile from my house.I walked there and met my boyfriend "Ted",I took the half a hit,hung around for a while,but I had to be home in 1 hour so after about 40 minutes,I had to start walking home,about 6 blocks from my house,I started coming on to the acid,all I was thinking was that I was out of my mind and nobody knew.That was a real funny secret between me and "me"and I was laughing and talking to myself,sometimes I found myself on the ground in someones yard rolling around laughing,the last yard I did that in had fertilizer in it and I was rolling around in cow shit,but I was at the end of my block before I realized where that smell came from.I tried to get a grip on myself and went in,my Dad was reading a book and I sat down next to him feeling nothing but giggles and love.As I was looking at Daddy,his face was morphing,it was moving,changing,it had a life of it,s own,that made me freak out"Your not my Father",I told the morphing face,by then my Dad could tell I wasn,t well.To make a long story short,I blew it,I was bouncing off the walls,jumping up and down on my bed,laughing,talking to myself,trying to talk myself down.At one point I climbed out of my bedroom window and was running up the street in my calico p.j.s,my Dad came in the car and made me get in,he was all wacked out by now,I told him I drank a beer,he wanted to believe it.Some shithead t.p.,d my house.The next day I told myself I would never do that shit again and that I was going to start going to Church again,but I didn,t.I don,t think going solo is good,but the second time I did acid,was with Delores McHenrey,we each did a whole hit of that orange sunshine and almost jumped out of her third floor bedroom window,thinking we were faries and we could fly.

Don't Ever trip without your glasses. My cousin made that mistake.

acid rule #1: while attempting to fly, always start from the ground.

acid rule #2: Nothing is actually melting. acid rule #3:it's better to be outside than inside. acid rule #4; The Nibbler is real.

acid rule #5: the cop shop is a bad place. stay out of police stations. by any means necessary.

acid rule #6: will be known as the "jah rule": always wear glasses, not contacts. I lost both contacts during a very bad ecstacy trip. I know what yer thinkin', "isn't ecstacy a mild trip?" Not when one munches 3 and half tabs in four hours time. WICKED, purely wicked...

acid rule #7: (which is the true "jah rule") always keep an abundance of kaya handy for the come down. acid rule #8: always have a copy of funkadelic's "maggotbrain" at home base. acid rule #9: always have a home base.

acid rule #10: always stay at home base if yer freakin'. acid rule #11: tune in to PBS, the best laughter beyond imagine. You can only atest to this if you're trippin'.

Once, when there was abundance, the best trip that I ever had was on a quaalude, blue valium, weed and one tab. Went to a Laurie Anderson concert at Tulane U here in New Orleans and laughed reel hard, no negative thoughts, all was well and good. Last of the best. the last was the best.

I always feel better outside when tripping for some reason,seeing the stars,or when I was in W.V.,I,d trip out on the trees with no leaves and the snow.One of the best trips I ever had was camping in a meadow with my old boyfriend Gene,(the one who got kicked out of his apt.over that mattress fire) and some friends.We had a glow-in-the dark frisbee that was fun,we sang dirty songs,doesn,t sound like much as I put this down,guess you had to be there,on acid.

gave up on hallucinagens shorl after high school.......mushrooms are ok in small doses, kinda like a nice muscle relaxer.........X is good, took two hits one time when the wifey and i virst moved to Cali. our furnitutre hadn't arrived yet, an empty new apartment, two kitties, a small alarm radio, and some pillows.................we in such a state or weirdness we would catch our selves talking face to tface but on two totally different conversations.....it was like we were speaking our nocturnal dreams.....very bizarre

Swimming pools, just as you are going up, are very nice. I remember once back in college, staring out the window at 5 am w/ my buddy Dan, when he says "look! The ceiling's green." I looked up and sure enough, it was. That was also the first night I saw The Nibbler. i miss that guy (Dan, not the Nibbler). it's unfair that he doesn't show up on any people searches. His whole family does.

i have cute pets.

And a very cute kid, too.

rc, you need to come back and referee.

Yeah, i am more suited for the ringside commentary, so I will give up the striped shirt to the one best suited for it.

i will gladly play the role of don king. cagefight 2000 in the mojave. music by blind detonation. ringside commentary by docta llama. radical consequences as the referee. j as ring girl. mark thomas as announcer. simon as armed security. margret as designated heckler. syrup and pj boy will be gogo dancers. friendly will be drunk and disgruntled, jumping into the ring when necessary. or not. fetidbeaver will be the freelance pharmacologist. waffleboy will get his ass kicked by gee in the parking lot. christop will be watching on pay per view, shaking his head and remembering why he left north america. oatmealboy and darrin will be clueless chucklehead bitches. (of course) and markus will be the bartender. this could very well be the biggest event since the rumble in the jungle. now all we need are some real contenders. step into the ring.

all on pay-per-view!!!! This could be bigger than "Heroes of Wrestling" Gee Comes off the ropes with a flying elbow! Friendly ducks and attempts to apply the Cobra Clutch! Gee reverses it into a snap mare take over! She's going up top and connects with the missle drop kick! going for the cover...1...2..kickout by friendly! Gee whipe friendly into the ropes but is caught by an swinging neckbreaker! Friendly's going for the Figure Four! He's got it on! Gee struggles to the ropes and Friendly breaks the hold. Now Friendly's going up top, but gee gets up and hits him with the low blow! Gee gets him with the huracanrana! Wait! Who's this running towards the cage? It's Waffleboy with a Steel Chair!

Do I get a hot chick for a sidekick?

if you want - you've got creative control over your character.

On the subject of tripping, I had a motherfucker on friday. lately I've been into DXM, otherwise known as Robutussin Extra Strengh cough medicine, THE KIND IN THE BLUE BOTTLE! Anyways, i smoked some kind, and tripped my ass off. Stronger than aicd, less time up, and its free. Not exactley safe, but free and fun for me anyways. i had Beatleesque Hallucinations, plus I kept seeing naked women in my trip. Ive done acid a lot, but found that the consistancy of the experiences varys a lot. Hey Sem "Are you Freaking Out?" Hey skooter "I wont freak out if you dont."

Try Drano for the trip of a lifetime!

where am i in this scenario? my ego is very fragile these days, and now i'm not included in the pay per vue extravaganza? i'm going to go draw a warm bath and slit my wrists.

But you were supposed to be my hot chick! Now what am I gonna do..? <sniffle>

C'mon Agatha, you know all pay-per-views have the suprise appearance of someone unexpected. That could be you. Of course, I'd expect something like Mark Thomas to come flying down out of the ceiling on a flyline, swingin' a bat, as well. Or you and Cyst could form a tag team.

threeway team with cyst and gee, how bout? in mud, maybe.

Jello,thats the ticket

blind detonation.

swine i got issues with your intial plan,,, first off, you won't find me in the parking lot,,, i have an underground entrance ....it's bad for my hair, the desert heat....., secondly......i never get my ass kicked........I am a man with 2 buttocks..........we eat creatures with so called "legs" in which to kick.....they are considered a fine delicacy where i come from.....to "fight" one with legs would be as ludicrous as man vs mosquito . (nile virus my 2 asses!!ha!)...the way i see it, one has to prove himself to step in the ring....my sorcery, and evil hocus pocus does not lend itself to the average ...average....i demand a competant contender.........perhaps this threesome agatha suggested might be suitable.......I have requirements...my galactic attorneys can help you sort things out. My prime directive doesn't allow for any negotiations with hair like yours...as mr.king. My race has long deemed hairdoos of that nature insulting and threatening........arm youself if necessary.

Dear Jah rule i think you smell like shit and vita looks like a nigga and ya hole click is dodo

HAHAHAAAAA OHHH SHIT MAN...UHMMMM I DUNNO