| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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Though the whole night, as I was getting sloshed, I noticed that my rational side was coming out very strongly. Maybe a friend of mine was right w couple of weks ago when she said that I am "ruled by my head." |
you're 46 years old and before last night you'd maxed out at 7 drinks in a night? |
Still sad, though, I must admit. But, yeah, 7 drinks had been my nightly max before last night. I felt like shit warmed over this morning. The hotel had an enlightened checkout time of 1pm, and I took full advantage of it. I just ate lunch at the Napoleon House and am going to wander around the french quarter for a bit and try to shake off my persistent hang over headache. Oh, and Sem and I decided that we definately must go to the Pirate's Alley Cafe during SorabjiFest. The place is perfect. (We warned the bartender that we were coming. :-P) |
maybe there is something wrong with me |
the other contender was a night when i drank about a liter of assorted tequila, gin and 101 proof bourbon plus three or four beers. those were both flukes, though. didn't even puke. |
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everyone is in my book. this is my book. is there a dragon? do you see a dragon? HOW CAN YOU KILL A FUCKING DRAGON IF THERE IS NO FUCKING DRAGON? |
duh can't you just answer the question? |
you might flip a few chapters forward and check out the consequences, though. not all dragons are bad things. |
i had no plans to kill that silly dragon. maybe give it a haircut though, it's looking dreadful. |
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4? 412? |
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damn. that's what happens when you leave it up to me. |
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how old are you? |
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That's seriously funny. These days I feel 22, though, so I'll stick with that. |
I'm sick of getting older. |
why do you feel 22? i will be 23. i don't like even numbers and 21 is a bad age. |
I found a baby picture of mine yesterday. I wanted to pick myself up and kiss myself, I was so cute. I wouldn't want to kiss myself at 20. |
You should always kiss yourself, Rhi. It's good for you, and entertaining for those around you. |
sunset junction is coming in a few weeks. i'm pretty sure i'll loose track of my drinking then. especially with keg beer. i get to the point where im afraid of the bottom of the cup, so I keep it topped off. right now, after a lazy lazy lazy weekend...i feel 30. friday night, i felt 19. |
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no wonder spider doesn't want to meet us |
take a compliment anyway. |
or maybe I just ruined it for her when we hung out. |
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I'm going to ruin it for everyone, so watch out. And Antigone was not the person there I wanted to kiss goodnight, which didn't happen anyway. Fucko. |
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i don't feel any age, just old. |
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1. What did he smell like? 2. What kind of underwear did he wear? 3. Did you feel like strangers or old friends? 4. How often did you say "fuck you, you ass"? 5. Was it weird or comfortable? |
and did you bring us prezzies? and did you talk about *ME*???!! |
it's for typing. and it's old. tired. overused. goddamn. |
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mmmmmmwhateverrrrrrrrrr IM ROLLING MY EYES NOW CAT.....you see? IM ROLLING MY EYES!!!! |
christ almighty. adam ant much? |
BLACK KNEE-HIGH BOOTS ARE ALWAYS GOOD TO GO. |
P.S. You might want to think about a bikini wax, the natural look is out. |
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So, I get to the Pirate's Alley Cafe about 8. I wouldn't say Antigone sticks out, but he was the tallest guy in the bar. I believe "Fuck You, You Ass" was uttered twice. Antigone ordered random drinks from the bartender. Which is probably a good idea at this place if you want to get wasted but bad if you don't. We talked about how unique sorabji (pronounced FUCKFUCKO)is and how some people react weird if you say you're going to go meet a friend you made over the web. We didn't talk about all of you - sorry. We did talk about Mark, Cat, Nate, J, Czarina, and spider (maybe more, it's a bit fuzzy). Then Antigone bought us this guy's zine "Jesus was a DJ" (reproduced elsewhere on these boards). Antigone talked a bit to this guy who was sitting next to us who wasn't a fan of sleeping. He can tell you more about that. I don't know what he smells like or what type of underwear he had on. Felt like friends not strangers. Not very weird, pretty comfortable. Pretty much similar to when I met spider, except that there was much less in the way of deformed babies and skulls with holes in them. |
And where's Antigone's rebuttal? |
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jesus was a dj scroll down to monday the 23 at 11:32am |
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SEM! -- you GOTTA make yr date read that before she meets you!! You will be *so* in there if she does. If the honies only *knew *how funny you are around this place, man, you'd have ALL the bitches! |
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I used to have a penguin joke in my repertoire, but now I've forgotten it. Something about a glacier or ice or something? Anyone? |
pokey |
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it wasn't a joke, though. |
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Q. What do penguins and JFK jr. have in common? A. The're both cute but can't fly. |
I just read a few of them, and they are not funny. Perhaps if I smoked a bunch of ganja they would be funny. I can sorta see a childish coy nature about them, like the author is pretending to be an idiot and that itself is funny. but otherwise i dont get it |
I like this one |
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i know a penguin joke that involves pulling your pants down. that's it. |
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i just can't they make me laugh dammit! |
they are the litmus of evolution. you either understand or you do not. we are sorry. blame your parents. blame the cosmic rays. your genes have no mutated. you are not one of us. |
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Installment 38, just posted, is a classic, by the way. |
fat chicks in party hats is funny too. i suppose they are funny the way eugene mirman is funny. ive shared eugene with you right? |
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RULES!!!!!!!!! |
By Spider on Friday, July 21, 2000 - 12:00 pm: Did you hear the joke about the two penguins? Two penguins meet each other walking across an iceburg, and one penguin says to the other, "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo." And the other penguin says, "Maybe I am." By Asdf on Sunday, July 30, 2000 - 05:08 pm: So this guy's driving down the road with 3 penguins in the back seat. A cop drives by, notices the penguins, and pulls him over. The cop asks "whose penguins are those?" and the guy says "they're mine, officer." So the cop says "you can't keep penguins! Take them to the zoo right now!" and the guy says "OK" and drives off. The next day, the cop passes the guy on the road again, and the three penguins are in the backseat, wearing panama hats and sunglasses. Of course, the cop pulls him over and says "hey! I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo." and the guy says "i did, and we had such a good time, we decided to go to the beach today!" |
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A: To get a feathered hair cut! Submitted April 28, 2001 age 11 from the USA Well did you hear the one about the penguin on a drifting ice floe? What was he doing? He was going with the floe! By Chelsea Schutz from Illinois, USA. One day a penguin went into a police station because his brother was missing. He said, "My brother is missing." "What does he look like?" says the policeman looking straight at the penguin. GET IT!!!??? By Nadia Perkins (age 5) from Sydney, Australia Why cant penguins tell secrets in the North Pole??? Because their teeth keep chattering!! Q: How do Penguins drink their cola? A: On the rocks. Q: Whatīs black and white and goes round and around? A: A Penguin in a revolving door. Q: Why donīt you see Penguins in Britain? A: Because theyīre afraid of Wales. Q: Who is a Penguinīs favourite pop star? A: Seal. Q: What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night? A: Starfish. Q: Why donīt Penguins like rock music? A: They only like sole. Q: Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks? A: Because they havenīt got any pockets. Q: What do Penguins sing on a birthday? A: Freeze a jolly good fellow. Q: What do mother Penguins say to their children before they go out in the dark? A: Beak....careful out there. Q: Why do two Penguins in a nest always agree? A: Because they donīt wanna fall out. Q: What do Penguins have for lunch? A: Icebergers. Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert? A: Lost. these all suck. that's what happens when you do a search for penguin jokes. |
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GET IT!!!??? |
the penguin goes back to the garage to see how his car is doing. the mechanic says, "looks like you've blown a seal." the penguin wipes his mouth and says, "nah, it's just vanilla." |
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http://www.torturechamber.com/agatha/blogger.html penguins! |
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