| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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I cant smile anymore. I cant find anything that makes me happy. I have lost most of my friends to heroin over the last six months. They are still alive, they just arent close with me because Im not a drug buddy. Ive thought about doing it with them but they dont want me to get started. I suppose Im better off, heroin does make people pathetic. It bad enough just being depressed. I dont need to be pathetic. Last night I had a dream that I was peeling off my skin. It didnt hurt and I wasnt scared. It was just weird. |
Just a thought. |
The next thing I know dinosaurs are attacking. My ex is now a different ex, one more fit for running from dinosaurs, I guess. I don't notice when the change happens. We are running through a forest strewn with giant gray boulders. The dinosaurs are coming. We are surrounded by rebel forces. Forces on our side. Rebellion against dinosaurs. I am stuffed into a wooden box. It is closet sized and I am scrunched into one corner. My ex is in there, too. She says "when they come, don't breathe." The head of a dinosaur pokes into the box. It doesn't seem real but rather it appears to be bad computer graphics. It pushes its face into mine, a scene straight out of Hollywood. I hold my breath. I hold my breath. The dinosaur starts to leave, but I can't hold my breath any longer. I breathe. The dinosaur snaps back into the box. Puts its jaws around my head. I wake up. I liked the prior night's dreams better. |
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Oh, and the savages from the wastelands, but then again... I live with spiders. |
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My sister stayed at the hotel while I went shopping (?) alone at a vintage store. When I got back, LS was sitting on the floor and the dog'd made a mess. I began cleaning it up and sent her for a box, when she came back she was all sweaty from allergies. So she took a bath. She was taking a really long time bathing, so I checked on her and she'd turned into the boy I'm rebound girl for inside of David Bowie's body. "You like my man thing?" He asked as I helped him wash up. Then I woke up. |
"you like my man thing?" i'll have to remember that. |
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almost as funny as pounding a tall beer with Eva in the atlanta airport after a long stressful trip ...hearing a beep! beep! from the motorized carts that shuttle old people in airport terminals go by and turning to see my wife daintily waving as she zings down the breezeway to the bathroom. she does that kind of thing. sweet talks the southern gentlman into giving her a ride to the restrooms by gate T7, when we are sitting 50 yards away in the pub at gate 1. "you like my man thing" that is fun. |
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i woke up in the middle of the night last night to take some aspirin and ended up throwing up and then fainting, waking up god knows how much later by the loud hissing and faint ringing in my ears. i felt physically off all day yesterday. blood sugar swings, mood swings, like pms only it's not, i'm a good two weeks away at least from the possibility of maybe having a period. today i woke up feeling pretty shitty and still feel shitty, like i've been over medicated after drinking too much, like waking up drunk and then taking a sleeping pill with a big cup of black coffee. but i swam out to the flag yesterday afternoon after taking a ride on a glider plane over mokuleia. i surfed the day before yesterday and the day before and the day before and the day before. the nearby hurricane - which luckily missed the big island by a squeek - kicked up some good waves when i first got here, but now they're gone. the winds are up though, so tomorrow i'm going kite surfing on the windward side. last night mike told me to to stay out of the water for two weeks but that's just not going to happen. i'll just keep a lot of ointment on it. ointment. what a great word. one evening i was sitting on the beach watching the sunset after surfing for a couple hours, my old hang-out beach actually, and i ran into my first yoga teacher. he's one of those guys who, well, shit, he's just beyond description. a character, a good human being, who is known and loved by half the people on this island. anyway, he's hooking me up with his friend who is working on technology initiatives for the hawaii state DOE. hooking me up with him job-wise, that is. oh, and i politely asked the ass doctor not to come. he was okay with that. he gets it. he called me though to check in, and i bought him a nice souvieneer yesterday. i want to come home, stay home. i do and i don't. there's nothing for me here and everything for me here, and i could say the same for austin though too. everything and nothing. i stay in austin because i've become addicted to the uncertainty. it's like i'm in a book that i kinda like and kinda don't like but i keep reading it because it's interesting enough to make me want to see what's going to happen next. i stay in austin because i know i can come home whenever i want. the book of hawaii, i know that book, it's a good book, i'd read it again. when i do, i will go to maui. *maybe* kauai again, but most likely maui. the last time i was here i felt ready to go back to austin by the end of the trip. this time i'm not ready, but i still have a lot more days ahead. what am i doing here? i gotta get to the beach. |
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Sarah, what do you have to put ointment on? |
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The thing is S is a christian and a very devout one for the most part, and K is a pagan......not a good thing. So the next morning we wake up and S is going on and on about K, and I mean hours and hours about what a good kisser he is blah blah blah. She wants to invite him over for dinner, so we invite him over....he comes over for dinner and spends the evening sitting on the couch with his arm around her and he plays with the kids and we all hang out and have fun. His mom (whom he takes care of since his step-father died) keeps calling so he goes to leave and she walks him out to the car. Then she comes back in (in a few minutes this time) and says that K got to touchy with her and the kids outside were rude cuz they told them to go get a room.......heh. S leaves the next morning and gets home really late last night and calls me and says that she wants me to break it to K easy that she isn't interested and that she only thinks he is a good kisser when she is drunk and she doesn't want to get involved with someone who isn't like her (all because he is pagan). She was driving me nuts (did you talk to K? What did he say about me?). I almost just said "Look, he's a guy and will take what is offered. Doesn't mean he wants strings attached." But I didn't. So I drank a lot and hung out with friends, but for some reason there was still drama......... |
so it got finished last night. finally. and it's gorgeous. it takes up all of the space between mid-sternum down to the alien belly button. i love it. the artist is amazing. he also touched up the one on top of my right foot. photos coming soon. |
in actuality, the tattoo he did for me, in terms of his life's art work, was like a speck. he does full body suits and shit like that. so i guess it was worth a lot more to me than it was to him. |
maybe what it was worth to you was part of his compensation. |
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By the way....what goes good with whisky in the form of a mixed drink? |
Ice. |
K |
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And I think you entirely missed the point. |
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tonic water with whisky? hal? amateur. you use club soda. if you served me whisky and tonic id have to slap you upside the head. tonic should only be mixed with gin and vodka. eri, try a 'downtown martini'. obtain a bottle of vermouth and not that extra dry shit. i use martini rossi. its just right. half vermouth, half whisky. on the rocks. blamo! if you're drinking shitty whisky, you gotta mix it with coke. good whisky, can be real nice on the rocks. |
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evil jungle prince is the american name given to a traditional thai food dish. |
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I don't think that came out wrong at all. |
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