| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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The kid has lungs of steel,I can't hear myself think,today I cried and I'm no puss.I had my kids,didn't put my family or s/o's through this. And to tell you the truth,I'm pissed off that Carson's mom didn't ask me before she spawned again if I was going to have to watch him,she has a mother in Boise that could step up. I must sound like a bitch,but today was really bad,did I ever mention I have high blood pressure? If anyone still reads the WAYD board,I posted about my friend Jana passing away,I feared she took her life,she did in a way and this just breaks my heart. http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2007-08-23/news/death-wish/ I had been a friend with her since I was 17 and she was 23,I felt sorry for her,her father raped her and she got pregnant by the creep and her prestigious family sent her out of the country for an abortion,but she was ruined after that. She loved babies,angels,and heart shaped rocks.Long may you run. |
I feel for you, J. |
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how awful. i'm sorry to hear about your friend J. |
i had a cousin kill himself not long ago, but we weren't close. it still came as a shock to me, though. he seemed to be living life to the fullest. then one day he started having health problems - blood clots or something. then one day a cop found him dead at his house. i'm sorry for your loss, j. |
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(sorry about your friend, J) |
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time J, but I'm really proud of you for not drinking for three months. I know this is annoying, but have you thought about joining a support group? Sometimes it can really help to talk to real live humans who understand what you're going through. |
Brucifer has stage four lung cancer,it's in his groin too and spreading,I have so many feelings and memories swirling in my head and I just want to scream.I hope I can pass out cause last night I stayed up doing research and I never could go to sleep. I want to be there for him,but I have to watch four kids all week and he lives thirty seven miles from me one way.I'm going to try and get over there this weekend and do some cleaning for him and bring him some "special" brownies,it's not enough but it's all I can manage right now. I'm also trying to see about hospice,he want's to stay home and from what I understand, with his doctor's referral and depending on his insurance they will send people to take care of him,clean,meals,whatever. But how can I help him go through this? |
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Hang in there, honey. |
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(seriously, where did you learn English grammar??? For someone who claims to be a native English speaker, your sentence constructions read like someone who has learned it late in life as a second language - a working knowledge but still revealed through odd sentence structure. Not a criticism, but let's say it bring curious on me.) |
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what makes me mad is that the questioning continues. consider this: how many times would you ask, say, a coworker or friend a question that they avoid answering directly over and over and over. no matter how many times you ask, now matter how many different ways you attempt to frame the question, it is never answered and your curiosity is never satisfied. how many times would you ask? when would you eventually give up? besides, who the fuck cares? it's utterly ridiculous. make believe. |
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btw, i had to put my cat, Nug, to sleep this morning. he got, apparently, a sudden blood clot that paralized him from the midsection down, and was inoperable. he was a little over 10 years old. his twin sister died four years ago, got hit by a truck. i brought them both to texas with me from hawaii. they were born in Kaneohe at this woman's house who ran a cat rescue. RIP lil Nug Nug. |
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i can't tell you how sick i am of people asking me how i got to be so awesome, brilliant, and blindingly sexy... and i never answer...but the questioning continues. |
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Also, my condolences for your kitty, Sarah. Tell me, being a new mom, do you think that had any effect on the level of grief you felt? I always wondered if parenthood changes your perspective on relationships with animals. In case Kazu and I reproduce, I'd like to know about others' experiences. |
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thanks heather, sem, beta. i don't know the answer to that question. this is the first time i've ever had to put a pet to sleep, so i don't have any pre-baby experience to compare it to. i know the suddenness of it was a total shock and i cried a lot while senor and i said goodbye to him. the vet had given him an opiate, but he was in a lot of pain, so i didn't want to prolong my farewell. the quickness of it all happening was probably the hardest part. and of course, still missing him. i think having CJ made the grieving period last not quite as long as it would have otherwise. when Nug's sister Jessie died four years ago, it was also sudden, but I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. and yet... i think it was harder to lose Nug because, well, i can't really say why. perhaps because CJ is so time consuming and thought consuming and love consuming (and i mean that in a very good way), that it has given me something positive to focus on, that holds my attention away from the loss. except of course, there's no warm purring thing laying at my feet at night, or rolling, belly up, in the driveway when i come home. but i don't have time to dwell, because there's baby. that probably does not answer the question. but i enjoyed exploring my feelings about it. so thanks. |
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also, we decided instead of getting another kitty some time soon, we're going to wait until CJ is old enough to pick one out herself. |
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only zuul |
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only zuul |
my favorite expression of his was "i had stupid all over me": i don't know where it came from, but i had some stupid ALL over me! drippin' off me like hard-workin' man's sweat! |
Czarina did come a couple days after my last post on this thread and she spoke to his oncologist.He said with chemo,it would shrink the tumor in his lung and maybe buy him a year or two.So he had his chemo the next day,but he couldn't take it.His heart went crazy on him so he wouldn't do it anymore. Then he just shut down.I brought him a case of Ensure and some "magic cookies" on Feb.5th,but he was gone by then,he was alive but his soul was gone and he was on his way to a new beginning. I will never forget him,I'm so lucky to have known him,I will always love him and keep him in my heart. The last thing I said to him was "I won't say goodbye,I'll see you later". I hope I do. |
I'm sorry. |
I'm sorry, J. He had a good friend in you. |
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His service is today, but I won't be there, I know I couldn't handle it. I'm going back in May, on his birthday, to spread his ashes in a place that was special to us. This ride is a strange one. I don't like it. Really sorry about your cat sarah. I know how hard it is. While I was in Phoenix, I had to put my moms dog to sleep. I loved that little dog. A bad ride all the way around. |
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