I'm having a bad face day. I am usually more attractive than I am today, I swear! I look like I haven't slept in 3 days or something, but I *have* slept, and very well at that. I'm not under particular stress, I haven't changed my eating habits... Yesterday was a bad face day too. I wonder what's going on. And I wonder how long it's going to last. Does this happen to you?

maybe its not your face but your perception. i have come to recognize that on some days i just look horrible and associate this with my self image rather than how i really look.

I thought that, too, at first, but no....my face looks different. My skin looks weird. It looks like it should be rough and papery, though when I touch it it's not. My eyes look weird. They look like they're in a different shape than usual. Who knows.

it's either something you're eating, a nutrient you're not getting enough of, or one of your internal organs is not doing it's job properly. that's my theory.

Hmmm. Over the weekend, I ate more sugar than I usually do...but I didn't have any today or yesterday. Do you think that would do it? Should I drink a lot of water to flush it out?

Maybe reality is altering around you, forcibly transforming you into some one else. K was transformed into a giant roach, and awoke, helpless, on his back. There are portents in the sky. Unspeakable changes are occuring all around us. Or Maybe you need a moisturizer.

maybe you're getting older.

I had the same thing happen to me. I don't know why. It was like I woke up one morning and I had acne (which I never had before, not even as a teenager) my eyes looked hollowed in more, my dark circles were more prominent and it seemed like everything just shifted somehow. I haven't been able to figure out why. There were only two things that I noticed changing around that time in my life: 1. my hot flashes stopped 2. people stopped carding me for booze. I wonder if it isn't something hormonal. I dunno. Unfortunately for me, things haven't changed much. I still get mistaken for a 12 or 13 year old, but I think it is because I am so small and I have the chest of a 12 year old.

pms.

Maybe you're actually changing into a spider? ArachnaSorabji?

Well, whatever it was, it's better today. Today I just have unusually dark circles under my eyes, but the rest of my skin is fine. I got my hair cut last night, too. I look cute, if I may say so.

Check for alien implants.

let's see a picture.

hot monkey sex needed STAT!!!!!!!

I hope you're not talking to me.

yes. and stop blushing.

I'm not. The suggestion doesn't appeal to me.

OOOOOOOh, that had to hurt!

thats the problem

Hot monkey sex doesn't appeal to you in general, or with patrick?

it was never a proposal to have hot monkey sex with me. though i suspect i will have a scandelous dream tonight now that this has been layed out.

Oh, stop. At least use a more delicate phrase or something. You're offending my aesthetic.

your aesthetic is too uptight, indicating exactly what i recommended. matters of the heart and loins need not always sound like an Anais novel. im definitely having a dream now.

Rhi, you need to have hot monkey sex with your aesthetic.

That phrase is gross.

jesusmaryandjoesph spider its a light hearted phrase.

on the note of appearances and sex though.. i sometimes scan people on the subway, trying to determine who got some the night before. if there is any scientific base between looks and sex, id say so many need so much. every now and then you can spot someone with that glow, a bit of beam from the eyes. you can see the mind wandering, see them replaying bits and pieces of the night before. sometimes they smile, possibly not even knowing they are smiling. i know i do sometimes, catching myself smiling while replaying details. Maybe all of this is in my head, but thats ok, i like it.

Your aesthetic is too ascetic, you acerbic arachnoidic.

Now that's more like it.

Hee. I'm so prissy sometimes. Anyway, I've been having the bad face syndrome again in these past few days. Agatha was right. I've also noticed that I'm getting lines on my forehead, but only on the right side. That's strange because my left eyebrow is the only one I can raise by itself, so it's not like the right side is doing more work than the left. It's a mystery.

I hear you Spider. In the last year I've noticed that I am starting to get crow's feet. And sometimes after I stop smiling there is this very deep crease that forms around my mouth, almost like it should be the outline of clown make-up. If I see it happening, I'll stand in front of the mirror and rub my cheeks until it goes away.

crow's feet are fucking sexy

I've always wanted stretch marks. They seem to be a talisman of a life lived and a body that's been treated to a few decent meals or a baby or something equally filling.

I'm having a strange face day. I don't know how to explain it. My face doesn't look bad; it just doesn't look the same as I remember. It's hard to describe. Basically, it is as though someone is pulling at the sides of my eyes, nose, and lips. But at the same time nothing at all that.

There is no such thing as beauty, especially in the human face. So many women that I'm told are beautiful...hell it's like looking at a soup bowl

If Charles Bukowski really did say that, that was pretty dumb. Because people misuse a word, it follows that the concept itself does not exist? Wrong.

do you think it's because you slept funny? or maybe your mirror is warping from humidity.

i'm having a bad life day. i stopped caring about schoolwork and now i either must start caring fast, start being prductive anyways, or start figuring out what happens if i drop out. as time passes, more things unravel and i am mad at myself but not in a constructive way. i am feeling kind of numb. but i want attention, or fixing, or something. the past two days i have spent many hours (disconnected from internet to avoid killing time that way) sitting in front of my comupter staring at the word document that is one of my final papers, and not typing a single fucking word. i have no desire to be done, i just want it to all go away and let me feel empty. i woke up this morning with an intense desolation that i haven't felt in more than a year. i thought i had healed, i thought i was supposed to be a happy person now. i suddenly stopped caring about most of the people i considered to be my friends at school. they can all go home for the summer, if i dont get to say goodbye, oh well. its as though there is only me and they just fill up the space around me. but i know that there were times when i cared intensely about these people and now i just dont know.

Oh, man, I know those feelings well. Even the feelings of, "I was supposed to be over this! I thought I was all better now." I wish I had some good advice to give you. Is there anything (activity, music, place, food) you still enjoy that you can use as a reward for slogging through X amount of work or doing Y task? How much longer until you're finished the school year?

i'm going home tuesday. the past 3 days have been very numb like i described above. i spilled a bit, though, here and to some friends and to my journal. i've sort of started working on my paper again. i dont really need a reward, just getting things done and being productive would be satisfying i think... but okay. back to work.

I've gone through that on and off over the past couple of years. I finished yesterday. After my last test, I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. I'd spent the previous weeks working on projects every spare moment I had. Neither of them got as far as I wanted, but I know I was trying to do too much. Now I need to figure out how to be a social human being again.

fuck i just want to leave this school and i dont want to come back in the fall or ever again. maybe i'm just not cut out for formal education. maybe i'm cut out to live in a hole.

Do you enjoy what you're studying? Do you feel inspired?

The problem is less academic than it is a general lack of will to get anything done. thus i am not feeling cut out for anything involving creative effort. I enjoy learning. I also enjoy getting things done. But right now my brain feels like mush. When I can prove to myself that my brain is not mush, then I have faith that I will feel much better. I'm going to see if I can learn some calculus. That involves a different sort of creativity than writing a paper. I know i'm swinging back and forth today... it sort of depends on who i've been talking to and whether i've been productive or not. i better shut up and go do calc while i've still got the drive. i'll probably come back when i get mushy-brained again. sorry, not explaining this too well, not very well thought-out, but i want to sieze my short moment of mental clarity. (read: gotta go before the ritalin wears off again... i'll rant about that someday soon)

talk about a bad face day i know that no one has a truly symmetrical face, but today I became painfully aware of how asymmetrical my face is i look like the sad boy-child who falls in love with Salad Fingers in episode four how come no one told me this before?

because we like you too much.

This is one of those loaded low self image chick questions, ain't it? There's no way out of this tarpit, gentlemen. Just back away. Back away! Especially you, sem... :)

In my case, it's like getting the tar pit dropped on you.

I want to announce for the record that I have, at last, developed my first wrinkles. I now have fine lines under my eyes. They weren't there a few days ago, but they have remained there for a few days, so I guess they're there to stay. The line above my right eyebrow comes and goes, so it doesn't count. Just thought you should know.

You guys! I've been posting here since I was 18, and now I'm 28, and you have known me back when I was a baby- faced youngster, and now you know me as I get wrinkles. This is blowing my mind a little. I wonder if we'll still be here in 10 more years.

oh crap. I've been posting here since I was 20 or so. Thats nearly 12 years. Scary.

Hell yeah, if there's still a here I'll be posting. Until Lucy comes back to drive me off, that is...

started at 30, now i'm 40. pathetic. spider - if you're still collecting "hard times" tunes, i found a new one for you: "hard times (no one knows better than i)" by ray charles.

Well, I have been posting here for like almost a year?

i turn 36 in 3 days i don't have a problem with being 36, but i have a problem with what i didn't do between 18 and 35 it is *something* that kids think they will be old by 30 i at least thought i might know something by now and i know less *annoying? *relieving? *funny? *sad?

last month was my 11 year anniversary here. i think my first post was on WAYD, something like, "wondering if i'm pregnant." hah. hah. hah. spider, getting lines around your eyes is cool. don't be afraid of 28. the best is 30. 30 is cool, because you're young enough to be vibrant and energetic, and old enough to be taken seriously.

Personally, I'm loving my 40's - wrinkles and all. There's a certain WTF freedom that comes with it.

My skin has been looking really spongy lately.

I'm totally loving my 30's. It's amazing how people speak differently to me, like I'm a totally different person (maybe it's just cuz we moved 900 miles away or something?). The only part I'm not liking is the grey hair and the thin skin around my eyes. And I think I have been posting here for like 6 years now, off and on?

I used to say that I would kill myself (if not dead already) when I hit 30... I thought that life couldn't possibly be any good on the high side of 29... But now I know that life just starts to get good around 30. I have been here, more off than on, for something close to 10 years.

Every ten years of your age, you find this different.

hi BIGKev.

i had a wheelchair wheel blow up today. it was loud, and cool.

Dr. Pepper, are you *sure* English is your first language? Your sentence structure is just so unusual.

I have had that same thought myself, Spidey. It's just so... ODD.