| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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I want to lose alot of weight. I'm 6'4", 260. Pretty muscular, but technically obese by today's health standards. (BMI) I'm on my way to being a svelte 200, but that's the least of my problems. What I'm afraid of is that, if I get there, (svelteness, ya know) I'll be supremely bitter. If a woman is attracted to me, will I hate her for it? I can see myself thinking, "Would you be remotely interested if I wasn't 6'4" and 200lb? Would you even give a shit about me if I was my old self?" Especially if any of the current women I like are interested! I can just see myself totally bitter and isolating myself from any possibility of dating, let alone a relationship. But I can see no other course. I've come to accept that it's a fucking meat market out there. It doesn't mean shit if you're a nice guy! Fuck that! It even hurts your chances because you get your head kicked in the second you show any weakness. And, if you're sensative AND overweight... you don't have a chance in hell. Alright, I've had my rant. I've learned my lesson. Women don't want sensative men. They want assholes. They want good looking assholes. Well, I'm getting the asshole part down. In a year I'll have my weight under control. Then maybe women will want me. But I'll hate myself... |
but you won't hate yourself it will be hard to remember and you'll have to be careful |
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Not that boys should complain. You all seem to want the girls who don't want you. And then as soon as they Do want you, you don't want Them anymore. (if that made any sense) |
Yeah! And girls are the same way...which is why they like jerks who don't like them. Life sucks. |
when you weigh what you want to weigh, you probably won't care if the girls who talk to you would have ignored you previously. at least for me, it doesn't even occur to me to wonder if some guy would have liked me four years ago when I weighed 40 pounds more. ... are you one of those overweight guys who only like thin girls? if you lose weight, will you only pursue those who are also svelte? ... I used to be sort of chunky and I thought that my excess weight was my worst problem. that if I lost weight then everyone would like me a lot. I liked to think that I could make everything better, only if I tried. except now, instead of being a really positive thing, being thin only makes clothes shopping fun. it's reassuring to know that I can go to the store and buy a pair of jeans that I like, but it's not a big life-changing thing. ... beautiful people are annoying. last night, as I have mentioned at least twice already, I went out with this chick friend of mine. yeah, she's cute. but she has this bizarre sense of entitlement about it. like, she did not want to pay for drinks. it is so fucking ridiculous to go into some stupid swanky bar and sit there and wait for men to approach us for the privilege of buying us drinks. which didn't even happen, not once. and we didn't deserve it anyway. it was so fucking juvenile. we'd go into some bar, and she would talk about "the scenery" and "the talent." which would have made me giggle at age 21, but now I can't really even pretend to join in about that. at least she was really nice to the guys who did talk to us, even if they weren't her type, whatever that may be. |
not that relevant to the topic but... this summer i went for lunch with both of my grandmothers (94 and 89) and my mother. some guy at the next table paid for us when he left, his friend came over to tell us. ... besides, we all know that there's 'nice guy' and 'jerk' in everyone. and when you meet someone you go by your first impressions, which, other than being instinctual (a word?) are visual. |
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But, really, your daughter's current situation sounds really crappy. I hope she can dump this guy. But it seems that disapproval doesn't work that well to sway people's decisions. I know it hasn't worked with me. At the party on saturday I told two of my friends that I was thinking of breaking up with my current girlfriend. (former ex) Their reaction was, "Thank god!" Same with my mother, father, aunt, and uncle. Same with just about everyone on this board! And, what am I thinking now. I'm giving it another month to see how things turn out! Anyway, thanks for everyone's nice words. Sigh. I was soooo drunk when I posted above. I feel pretty much the same way now, just not as wallowy. I guess that's why I'm eating broccoli and tuna fish while I type this and I worked out twice yesterday. Cyst - "are you one of those overweight guys who only like thin girls?" Nah. My current girlfriend (who was not the woman I was interested in saturday night, shame on me!) is rather overweight and I'm attracted to her just fine. (The woman on saturday night was also a bit overweight also, now that I think about it...) I can't say that looks don't sway me, though. Do I gaze at the women in the gym with willowy waists and huge breasts? Sure. Would I date them if they had no personality? Nope. But I've rarely been in the situation to decide, I must admit. |
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boys buy girls drinks. that's just how it is. Antigone, if you lose weight you will just feel better, both in body and mind and spirit. do it for that reason alone. the girls who will come climbing all over you, well that's just icing on the (low-fat) cake, and i have a feeling you won't be feeling anything but stoked. the advantage you have is that you learned to be a nice guy first, and a sexy love muffin later. but even if you don't lose weight, it's not like you can't be a sexy love muffin. trust me on this one, i know. it's all about attitude. and even though the "beautiful people" might not see it that way, fuck 'em. who gives a flying fuck? let them have their own trip and you go on your way. word. hmmmm, i wonder if having my plastic surgery fund now officially makes me a hypocrite. |
o - o - o - o ? then I realized what was happening and thought of scenes from "the blair witch project," a movie I saw two or three months ago. I dreamed of it last night but it didn't scare me. then I remembered that I also dreamed of mark thomas. no relation to the blair witch dream -- none that I can recall, anyway. the dream mark thomas was really, really nice. he lived in a fancy house and let me and other guests drink his wine, the best I'd ever had. I'd thought that he would go and hide (like on the boards?) but he didn't, he talked to us. ... Hey, you might bring a really nice dress or two. Or I'll have to buy you one. Either way. Some of the places I'd like to go for dinner will require a good dress. Or a really hot dress. If you're tall and fucking gorgeous, you can really wear whatever the hell you want to the nicest restaurants, as long as it looks like you put in an effort. Do bring some stuff in case you decide to let me take pictures of you. I'm sure you'll want to play around with the digital camera, even if I'm not in the room. I have a really, really cool idea for a photo of you if you'll let me do it. ... what the fuck am I doing? I called a friend last night, explained my reservations, and he said he was surprised that I cared, didn't think I had any dignity at all left. of course, he's probably just jealous. yeah. |
guys buy girls drinks guys display peacock feathers, girls play coy and make their decision to pick the best sperm possible hypocrite sarah? mmmmmmm too strong, slightly conflicting though |
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part of that was an email message from a guy who's flying me out to see him this weekend. I'm supposed to look good, act nice and tell him everything I want. he's thinking fancy dinners and stupid nightclubs, and I'm thinking horse betting and gun shooting. I already told him that I want to learn to shoot a gun this weekend and he said ok. I bet I can get him to take me to the races too. |
if you are just buying rugs, it's sounds like he has other plans, I hope no one is disapointed, but you do lead a strange life of quid pro quo (is that how you say and spell it?) |
he says he wants to show me what it's like to have all the money you could ever want. since that's something I know nothing about, I said ok. I bought a really little outfit. I'm not medium but the dress is. if there's no real romance in my life, I might as well spend my time playing a part in someone else's fantasy. I guess. I've started playing the millionaires against each other. it's good. they get cocky about what exactly their wealth can buy. I'll come see you, but you can't make me want you. I hope someday I learn to do something besides just fuck around. |
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the only men that ever buy me drinks are the ones i am with. i think most men assume i am a lesbian, which is more than okay with me. |
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ON another subject of this thread, Women don't like me to buy drinks for them. What does that mean? Maybe I end up only talking to really egalitarian-minded women. |
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last night I got my hair cut and the hairdresser asked me what I do, and I tried out the "kept woman" line. "what?" I'm. a. kept. woman." it was a lie. no one has yet offered to pay my rent for me. I'm not actually having any sort of sex with anyone. but I just wanted to see how it sounded to a stranger. pretty awful, I think. she didn't ask me anything else. |
I'm just trying not to be too bored. |
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it would be something, though, for you to show him (people like him) that there's more to you than he ever realized or wanted to know don't be what he wants, be more don't hide it |
It's definitely an experience I'm glad I had, but not one I would like to repeat. Cyst, you could do this for the rest of your life. It was easy for me, and I'm not nearly as conventionally attractive as you are. I think, however, that you will probably get bored with it pretty quickly. The thing is that, when you are a kept woman, he doesn't want you to "be more". He wants a woman who will be his mistress and do nothing else with her life. He doesn't want to know you, you're there to look pretty, and be mindlessly charming. I think that you are way too smart to be convincing in that role. Anyway, the upshot is I'm sort of glad I did it. I learned a lot. I wouldn't do it again, but then, that's b/c I've learned what I guess I needed to learn from it. I don't know how helpful this is, but hopefully it gives you a little background. My only advice to you is read Emma Goldman, if nothing else, as an ironic counterpoint. |
i wanna be your dog. |
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you'd be excellent as a human punching bag. |
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A: It is lawful to kill when fighting in a just war; when carrying out by order of the Supreme Authority a sentence of death in punishment of a crime; and, finally, in cases of necessary and lawful defense of one's own life against an unjust or annoying aggressor. 4 Q: In what does the misery of the damned consist? A: The misery of the damned consists in being for ever deprived of the vision of p-funk and punished with eternal torments in hell. 5 Q: How may I make my funk the p-funk? A: Send Swine blank Maxwell XLII90 tapes. He will record and deliver in a timely manner. Or not. |
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I had the revelation today that Swine reminds me of Milk and Cheese. The comic book characters, not the dairy products. |
They sort of laughed – how else could they respond? – and she was embarrassed that he had mentioned her at all. She didn’t know how much his worker-friends knew, how much they guessed at. He had brought her there, clothed her, fed her. He also let her sleep in his bed, where he interrogated her late into the night. Later she couldn’t remember what all he had asked, but imagined his questions were full of “Because why?” She remembered she had wanted to cry. Although she was worn out by all the questioning, she kept him from seducing her. He might have said he didn’t want to or wasn’t going to. And he even might have meant it. He had fucked his ex-girlfriend -- the one, the real, the always – in the bed the day before. No one else would ever come close. They had spent their adult lives together, from age 20 to 30. In fact, it was his 30th birthday. She’d been summoned as a distraction to him that weekend. His ex had forgotten and had gone to California to fuck her other lover. He was supposed to take care of her cat, who spent the weekend searching the house for her. She wasn’t a stand-in for the ex-girlfriend, to whom no one would ever compare, so much as the girl he had fantasized about in high school. Apparently she resembled this girl, who, over the years, had been the muse for about a gallon of his jizz. He said he imagined presenting this gift to her in heaven someday. In his heaven, she thought, he’d probably want her to drink it. She ignored his offers and requests. But she let him touch her. She hadn’t slept with anyone in months, and she had forgotten how it felt. He often spoke of sex in terms of control and domination, and she knew that afterward he would consider her a conquest, regardless of whether she let him fuck her. But the one who cares the least controls. And who could care less than she did? She stopped him before she began to feel vulnerable. In the morning she opened the blinds and pressed herself against the glass. “Take your shirt off,” he said. She wanted to show off. And she didn’t care if the neighbors saw, if the whole world saw. She let him take photos of her Later, in the parking lot of another dress shop, she pulled out the ones she hated the most and gave him the rest. He said he loved a photo of her face. “It makes me look like I’ve been abused,” she said. “Yeah.” He took her out again. She tried all the sushi he ordered. He said his ex-girlfriend wouldn’t try some of the things he liked, but that night she ate it all. She kept the urchin, which looked and felt like a tongue, at the back of her mouth a long time before she could get it down. He told her she could spit it out if she wanted, but eventually she just swallowed. They went to get a present his friends had bought for him. Later she told him how she scared his friend’s girlfriend. “What did you say?” But she barely said anything to his friends that night. It was too difficult. He spoke for her, hinting that she liked the 19-year-old in the Buddy Holly glasses, that she had “requested him.” The day before she had spoken so easily with the young boy, who had also been to Paris in March, about the David Hockney exhibit at the Pompidou Center. But that was before she had remembered about sex. “I didn’t say anything to her.” She had been standing in a dark hallway with the present, a toy machine gun. The coworker’s girlfriend had turned the corner and had almost run into her. She had scared her. That day they had gone to a shooting range and she learned how to shoot a .22 calibre at 25 feet. He’d used a bigger gun, of course, and was a better shot. But she was taller and would look scarier in dark hallways. The next morning he held her down. Both her arms weren’t as strong as one of his. But eventually he let her squirm away. “If you want me to stop, just say so.” Sometimes she did. Then she danced for him. She pretended she was the star of a peep show. It was easy; she didn’t correct her vision and couldn’t see him watching her. He drove fast to the airport in the car he had showed her to drive. She had told him that he was the third guy to teach her how to drive a stick in a college parking lot late at night. To remind him who was in control. He called that evening and woke her up. He asked if he could show his friends the pictures. She said she didn’t care. |
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his antagonism toward me is evident. my self-portraits are so much gentler. I was wet and not yet dressed, and the room was bright with sunshine. I told him to scan some in because they're so horrible and honest, but his ex is back in town and he's busy fucking. |
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i want to thank you spider for digging these old threads up. really, sweetcheeks. i LOOOOOOVE reading what i wrote when i was stupid. thanks. i have thought of that quote from Margret about John Goodman many times since I first read it though. Its a fairly groundbreaking notion, at least to me, in this image conscious world we live in. |
John Goodman is a bit heavy for my taste, but I do appreciate a large-framed man. |
That said, I really do have an enormous ass. |
can we see said enourmous ass spider? (hey theres nothing else going on here, might as well ask.) |
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self-opinion? |
I'll just wait and see what happens to me. |
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hey i just downloaded the banned orgy scene from Eyes Wide Shut. Wanna check it out? HA! I just noticed, on my database that one my UK distributors, their freight forwarder has a contact by the name of Karla Stockhausen. HA! What a hoot! Im actually quite nervous. Honey Bunny leaves tomorrow. Hence the chatter. I think Im gonna go see the Go Devils tomorrow, a japanese garage band that has a fondness of go go boots, for $3 and drink some beer. I havent seen live music since Sonic Youth back in the summer. |
Why is it so quiet? Where is everybody? Why aren't they entertaining me? :Þ |
How fucking kuul is das! Shes flown Japan Airlines, Cathay Pacific, Air France and now Lufthansa. bitch. Im so jealous. I can wait until we're rich and I can go with her. We entered The Indie Fashion Awards with some not-for-profit NYC fashion agency and one of her mens garments, for spring 03, yet to be published is one of the finalist. the winner gets a $5000 grant. If any of you NYCers are interested the show and awards presentation will be at Rush Arts Gallery in NYC, Nov 22nd. The black tie reception will benefit Bottomless Closet organization, a not-for-profit org that provides clothing for indignant women to go on job interviews. wow, im amazed at the various charities we participate in. in july when we flew up it was for gay immigrants. this time its gets ups for indigent women. cool. we wont be there this time, obviously, but maybe some of my drunkard brooklynites will be. |
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indigent |
I have my doubts about the size of spider's ass as well. |
My creativity's withered up completely. Does anyone else feel like we (American society) are on the verge of a catastrophe? I feel like something, some negative force, has been building for a while, and we are about to experience some cataclysmic collapse. |
yeah. everything is speeding up, we are bound for some sort of collapse. its a good time to rediscover acid, perhaps. |
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oh, if we could only be so lucky.... I inherited my father's flat ass. Luckily, I have a decent set of hips to make up for it. |
Yeah, but I've always felt that way. |
Wow. It's been an amazing three years for me, since I first posted on this thread. I have been transformed, both by my own determination and by the actions of others. What a ride it's been. I'm in such a better place now. Thanks to everyone here who has helped me. |
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hooray! "Does anyone else feel like we (American society) are on the verge of a catastrophe? I feel like something, some negative force, has been building for a while, and we are about to experience some cataclysmic collapse." yeah, i felt like that last week... but then i went back to my college bubble. |
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"it would be something, though, for you to show him (people like him) that there's more to you than he ever realized or wanted to know don't be what he wants, be more don't hide it" actually, now i'm pretty convinced you need to hide it for a good long while. they gotta feel like they are more than you in some regard, or they get overwhelmed and intimidated. even if you aren't or do not feel like you have an upper hand in any regard, even if you believe the two of you are equals. "equals" actually is negative and gets you dumped and rejected. men want women to swoon, to be vulnerable, to learn her right. |
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oh boy, lucky for me, i have a huge round ass! |
i wonder what it would take (besides terminal illness) to get back to fighting weight. |
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diet and exercise. |
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ok, am I the only person here who finds this sentiment utterly irritating? I think the point that how close one may or may not be to some socially created, airbrushed ideal is irrelevant. But, if physical attraction is supposed to be an element of a healthy relationship, then how could "looks" not be important? Okay, so in my experience, that always made me feel worse. That statement, in the end, just reinforced the idea that there are some people who are physically attractive, and then there was me. Antigone's post struck a chord with me because after I lost weight and grew my hair long I noticed how much nicer people were to me. Initially it made me angry, until one of my friends pointed out that I had more confidence, which probably had a lot more to do with it then just the fact that I was thinner. To which my other friend replied, "Fuck that. Liz, listen to ME! It's because you don't look like an angry dyke anymore." But now I have a complex about my lack of ghetto booty. ;) |
in my experience, anyway. all those worship people. good for sex, but bad for adult relationships. |
I think the answer is readily evident:[judging from the content of this thread] Its an ass-trophe collapse.The American ass HAS been building for a while,and there is an eminent ass-collapse,of cataclysmic porportions,soon to befall us all. May God have mercy on our miserable asses. |
Where have you been, Cz? |
Thought it twas time to check in with the real world,and see how fellow Sorabjites have been a'fairin. |
pay attention. i don't have a huge ass. just wide hips and a flat butt. ever seen howard stern the movie? see the part where he plays the role of FartMan and his cheeks are exposed? Waffle butt all the way. dave, knowing you wrestled......well, lets just say that goes in my back pocket for use at a later date you big pansy. im with you kazoo. to say looks dont matter is a complete farce. body chemistry demands its important. |
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i seriously think body chemistry / physical attraction is why i got dumped. because everything else was there. i think my body really freaks people out. but i look good with clothes on. it feels like a costume, like i need to tell people right away, hey, you can't tell, but underneath this dress i'm a deformed freakshow. |
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there was a period of time after i lost all that weight when i was angry. i mean, majorly pissed off at the world. any time a guy in a bar would approach me, i would tell them to fuck off or get away from me. literally i would do that. because i knew that they never would have approached me before i lost all that weight. eventually i got over it, because in the end, you can't blame people for being attracted to what they are attracted to and not attracted to what they're not attracted to. and for a long time after i was average weight, i insisted that i was the same person i always had been. but that really wasn't true either. it wasn't that i was more confident or nicer or more pleasant to be around, it was just that any physical change that's so radical will also have a radical affect on other parts of you. like if you break a leg, or have a stroke, or become paralyzed. it affects you, it changes you, it's inevitable. not to mention just the regular change people go through as they get older or have certain experiences. i always believed that all my life's troubles would go away when i lost weight, and for a while that seemed to be the case. but that was just a high, an illusion. in some ways it's been harder to make friends. people want you or use you just the same as they always did, just for different reasons. and forget about being able to manage other people's perceptions of you. impossible. in particular, people seem really surprised after they get to know me that i'm either a) as nice and genuine as i am or b) not out to steal their boyfriends or c) smart. |
We all love you dearly,and I don't think there is one of us here,that would ever think of you in that manner. You're the warm,loveable,witty,gentle natured Sarah that we all care very deeply for. We love you for the real stuff. The you inside you. Relationships suck. |
The end is near!!! Of course near is a relative term. |
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Cz, you are too, too sweet. thank you. |
I'm going to get some chocolate now |
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Hint: The singer arrived at the court wearing the trademark mask, which he believes protects him from germs and traffic fumes. When he removed the mask inside, the full toll of years of plastic surgery on his face were revealed. So, who's first for that nose job? |
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His life has been a mess since he was a child. |
It should be illegal for him to EVER remove his mask in public. |
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specifically the word "use" is throwing me off. can you elaborate. i see that michael was a no show in court today. that pic was one of the most popular pics on yahoo yesterday. we've totally crushed the king of pop you insensitve bastards. |
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i heard that bubbles died in squalor after michael abandoned him. |
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sometimes trace, despite your ignorance on the matter of psychology, what happens early in life has profound and damaging effects on adulthood. are we speaking about excuses? no. we are speaking about insight and understanding. michael was abused and then thrown on stage like a russian circus bear. no wonder he has mutilated himself, been suspected of pedophilia and in general become a freak. he was stripped of a normal childhood. try not to be a conservative, close-minded asshole about everthing eh? |
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I have told you about the problems I had in my childhood. Nothing like a mother on top of you,choking you and spitting in your face telling you she hates you. That shit started when I was 4 and did not stop until I was 18. I think I am doing alright as an adult. But you are right, I am ignorant. |
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your personal situation spunk has no bearing on anyone else's life. so you made it. so what. plenty others don't. completely dismissing an individual because he didnt clear the woods is no good. |
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I have a feeling that by that time, everyone will want to use it to escape. |
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Oh, yes it doe, patrick. If you know have knowlege and understanding, it changes you. You should never investigate, discuss, or even think about dangerous subjects like pedophilia, sex, people's childhood, psychology, or other forbidden ideas. To do so corrupts society and leads to evil actions like those of Mr Jackson. The link is obvious, and shame on you for tainting this discussion with your disgusting apologies for a child fucker! |
my concerns and priorities may change once im a father, but i wont become irrational. so who thinks the Megan laws are a farce and a product of a hysterical public with no knowledge of the Constitution the violate? |
Cool. Then everyone should raise their children like your mom raised you! BTW, why did you get so upset a while ago about that kid, what was his name? You know, the one being abused by his mom. You should have left well enough alone. After all, a child's upbringing has absolutely no effect on their adult life. Shame on you for trying to interfere! |
that was attempted homicide. I was not so sure he would survive childhood. Big difference between not going out and harming others because of what was done to you as a child and stopping someone from trying to murder their child. |
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I also never said I was perfect. Ask Eri, I am quick to anger. But I am not physical. I have learned to walk away. I am looking into pills as we speak |
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Nope. You are. Attitudes such as yours lead to it. You're only a hair away from it. "What happened to you as a child is no excuse!" is a close cousin to "I can beat my children and they'll come out fine." |
thats no reason for pills. goddamn man. did you stop taking those ridiculous tylenol pm pills spunk? that be a good starting point, rather than getting on some new ones. |
Damn boy, we all need to get off of this "It's not my fault I am this way, it's my mamma's" kick. Blame anyone else for your actions except yourself. Frued is a fraud. You have as many child melestors and murderes out there that came from a healthy child hood as you do a fucked up one. Eri wants me to go see doc doc and start taking something like Paxil. |
admit it. you dont know shit about Freud do you. understand the past helps you treat the future spunky. no one has ever said that ones past is an *excuse* for your actions. in fact, the only person using that word is you. its about diagnosis and understanding. the insane are not immune from criminal prosecution. see, you're just regurgitating the same ole conservative jingles again with this: "Blame anyone else for your actions except yourself" blah blah blah blah blah. same ole same ole. paxil is the last thing you need spunky in my limited assessment and im betting most here would agree. i would suggest getting off the tylenol. start a weekly exercise regiment, drink more water, eat better, stop the politcal radio and tv. even stop getting into the fray here. knowing your at a boiling point, i'll back off. but please, go clear your head. read some dhali llama. hell even take up a minor pot habit. you've become too caught up in the humdrum. it may be the reason you are perceived as negative and in general why you might be quick to anger. Im testy when im stressed and when i feel i carry the weight of the world. It sounds like you might be feeling similarly. back off, take long walks, change your routine but please don't go inquiring about pills yet. paxil is absolutely NOT the answer, and you might be surprised, i do have a concern your well being. if eri were here, id scold her for suggesting such a quick fix idea. |
Quote some statistics for that, fact boy. |
The SSRI's can be quite beneficial. Paxil has proven to be a very effective medication,with a minimum of negative side effects. Regardless of what anyone here advises,[except me,of course!],don't overlook medication as a possibility. The benefits can far outweight that dasterdly feeling of being down. |
Damn boy, we all need to get off of this "It's not my fault I am this way, it's my mamma's" kick. Blame anyone else for your actions except yourself." That is all I meant to say. People need to take some PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITIES for thier ACTIONS rather then blame others. Look at us here. We have spent more time blaming americans for 9/11 then the ones who planned the attack and did it. |
you yourself have been an advocate of suggesting pearl harbor was allowed to happen. so by your own stated logic we SHOULD at least CONSIDER part of the blame to rest on american shoulders without negating the actions of those who ordered the attacks. |
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I just blamed them for being total shits. |
this is TOTALLY untrue. that's all i have to say about that matter. |
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Commenting on the use of medications for depression, etc., well, I have been on nearly every medication out there and since I'm rapid-cycling bipolar, nothing has worked. The only medications that truly made me feel good were Celexa and Paxil, but they had to take me off of those (I was not on them at the same time) because they made me manic. I am very jealous of people that have found medication that works for them to make them happy. For now, I have to learn how to deal with how to make myself feel ok, which is very difficult even with the help of the meds I'm on now (Lamictol and Zyprexa). |
Commenting on the use of medications for depression, etc., well, I have been on nearly every medication out there and since I'm rapid-cycling bipolar, nothing has worked. The only medications that truly made me feel good were Celexa and Paxil, but they had to take me off of those (I was not on them at the same time) because they made me manic. I am very jealous of people that have found medication that works for them to make them happy. For now, I have to learn how to deal with how to make myself feel ok, which is very difficult even with the help of the meds I'm on now (Lamictol and Zyprexa). |
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The worst thing you can do is to stop taking your meds. Med non-compliance accounts for the majority of re-admits we get. There is help for you. It just takes time and perseverence, to find the combination that works for you. And Joe,you're okay. I don't think you're a nincompoop.Its good to know there are caring parents out there. Its one of the hardest jobs there is. Bringing kids safely through childhood. Kudos to you,for caring. |
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'i'm also sorry that none of your "friends" here could express any sympathy even if they disagreed with you on other issues.' trace's past has been covered. he knows who his friends are. |
and about meds. i've said this before, but fear and the temptation to write them off as evil and unnecessary was my first reaction- i don't feel that way any longer. having been in a bad place i've found that sometimes you need help when your body is not cooperating and your mind can't fix the problem. that being said, i do very highly recommend regular exercise as the cure for many issues. that and some sleep deprivation. |
maybe its uniform and inexperienced generalizing but everyone who has taken mood altering meds all comes out saying the same thing. hmmmmmm. its not the meds i have a problem with, its the reasons people think they need them and their subsequent ignorant rush to attain them and the ease and comfort at which doctors prescribe them. |
I have been in a suprisingly good mood the past couple of days, not withstanding the fact that my car has accelerated it's death throws.... |
i don't take them any more. they didn't change my 'mood' they took away the hesitation and unreasonable fear. i was perfectly capable of being happy and anxious at the same time. |
My know-it-all friend L. insists it's 100% effective, but that's just not true. I have seen the studies! God almighty, do I get frustrated talking to someone who can't stand to be corrected. |
And look, I can be corrected. This article says 40-50% effective. |
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After taking Paxil im no longer against them. |
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This statement makes me think that "sleep deprivation" means to not get regularly scheduled sleep, either partially or completely missing one night's sleep. Later, the article says, "Overall, subjects stayed awake for about 34 hours." |
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And,let me clarify somethining: I also agree that excercise and regular intake of vitamins are EXTREMELY important. Also,it is equally important to be exposed to enough sunlight,we need it to properly utelize our brain chemicals,it acts as something of a cataylist. But,sometimes,when our brain chemistry is out of wack,we need help. My latest post was directed at "SD". The meds this person mentioned are for a different reason.This person presents with a much more acute symptomology. I work with these people,and I see the tortured,anguished lives that they endure.They live in hell. And there are medications that can relieve their symptomology. Unfortunately,it takes alot of time to find the right meds for any given individual. The chemical imbalance is DIFFERENT for each individual,so there are no pat cures. Its just methodically trying different combinations of meds to find those that help the most. But,back to depression, I agree that docs are quick to hand out anti-depressants. But only the individual can know how severly their depression is affecting their own lives, and don't want any depresed person to rule out the possibility of taking medication,because of advice from well meaning friends,who aren't really schooled/educated in the mental health industry. That said,I have found a wonderful supplement,OTC,that seems to work wonderfully,AND immedeiatly,[compared to anti-depressants,which take several weeks to become effective] It is available at GNC,and its inexpensive,and I have seen immediate results,[same day],so it might be worth a try to any suffering depression. Its called: GoldMinds DHA 100 Its about $6.00 a bottle,one capsule daily.It goes straight to the brain,its an essential fatty acid. Its worth a try. |
but now that ive read it, heather is right, that particular statement is worthy of an outburst. |
HOLY SHIT. This man is sick |
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Joe, would you tell a diabetic to stop taking insulin? Or a cancer patient to stop having chemotherapy? For some people, depression is a illness and they need medication. Of course I think Americans are over-medicated, and despite whatever the cause of one's problems, medication alone is never enough. You need therapy, exercise, and all that. However, I am fucking sick and tired of ASSHOLES like you telling me to *snap out of it* The last time I tried to *snap out of it* on my own, it nearly killed me. My depression is so severe that if I hadn't taken Prozac I WOULD NOT BE HERE TODAY. And I did stop taking it, but then I had a relapse. I would like to stop taking meds (on Wellbutrin now) but still, despite the fact that I am much less insecure and happier than I have ever been, and getting over my fears of people...I still do not sleep and when I do, I have nightmares (and those have been increasing). There are days I have to force myself to eat. I am not sad all the time, but I still have symptoms that do not always go away when life is good or because I have solved a few problems. |
No.I know that they can't.But I am referring to the more serious psychiatric disorders,such as schizoprenia,schizoaffective disorder,etc.These are the people who can suffer SEVERE audio and visual hallucinations.Without proper medications,these poor tortured souls can be quite dangerous to themselves and others.The voices command them to do bizaare things.For instance,one of my patients would frequently set herself on fire. The voices commanded her to.She was a difficult case. ICU didn't want to care for her burns,because she was so psychotic,and they aren't equipped to deal with those types of problems,and we weren't equippted to deal with the physical aspects of a severly burned person,ie sterile dressing changes,wound debriment,etc. 2 completely different type of medical needs. In the time span that I knew her,she had set herself on fire 3 times.She had burned herself numerous times before I personally knew her. The voices would command her not to take her medications,because we were "poisioning"her.Med non-compliance is the biggest problem we have in the psychiatric field.We can monitor and make them take their meds while they are in the hospital,but once we get their meds into them,and they stabalize,we have to release them.And the cycle starts all over again. In this particular case,after her last release from our facility,she committed suicide,with a gun. So,no,I do not think these people should try to "cure" themselves. As far as depression,thats a different issue. As I stated earlier,whether they require medication is dependent on the individual level of the depression. Some depressed people are so despondent that they will actually commit suicide,without medical intervention.When they are that "down",it seems to them that that is the best option. In these cases,medical intervention can stabelize the brain chemistry,and help them think more clearly. No easy answers here. |
Also, if someone could "just get over it," don't you think they would? |
the problem is determining the degree of depression and anxiety. im ambivalent about someone like kazoo's predicament...saying you think we're over medicated as a nation and then saying how much happier you are with the pills. *shrugs*. ok. fine. if you believe we are over-medicated as a society, then where do you draw the line? where do you draw the line in determining when your situation warrants medication? i mean fuck, they have medication that can do all kinds of things? determining *need* needs redefinition because its clear medicine is being taken over by corporations, which is fine for supply, bad for establishign demand. they create a demand by giving us an excuse to take a pill for every ailment. i just think its time doctors start telling the truth instead of being tools of the pharmaceutical industry and legal pushers (except for the manufacturers of Vicodin...please....carry on). its time we start dealing with all the potential reasons for our depression. i think your body and mind deserve the benefit of the doubt. of course czar the extreme cases cant cure themselves and im pretty sure joe wasnt referring to cases such as that. (shit am i actually defending joe's argument?) |
Fuck you. And don't tell me that isn't what you are saying, you are implying that. And I am tired of hearing it. |
And, you know, some people do not have the time or energy (a symptom of depression) to deal with their problems. Therapy can take a long time, and when you have to live in the real world, sometimes a quick fix is necessary. |
Of course you can be critical of the boat you are in. I didnt say you can't. really. settle. i said im "ambivalent" didnt i? I meant what i said. i measured words specifically because i wanted to AVOID this very response seeing as you were already defensive. btw, my friend's band is playing this weekend at an artshow in your hood. Its a place called EyeDrum. Its supposed to be like a big art fair with food, liquor and of course bands. It should be good. I dont have all the info, but if you look up Eye Drum gallery you should be able to get the details. Its on Sat btw. |
like i said, your body and brain deserve the benefit of the doubt. try the natural stuff first if you think you are depressed or have anxiety issues. try diet and excercise and even therapy before you start tweaking with chemicals that can fuck you up for good. thats what i would do. i think thats what doctors should do unless they perceive a degree of seriousness that warrants more action. and that goes back to the root question. a question which i believe is messed with for ulterior motives. money. |
"btw, my friend's band is playing this weekend at an artshow in your hood." I just told a friend about it. We have a dinner/movie thing earlier that weekend and we're going to try to make it afterward. what's his band called again? |
He is the bassist. His name is Brian. Introduce yourself..he and his wife are super friendly and know a lot of neat shit. dig it, its all here: Sa 23 - Eyedrum Art & Music Gallery presents: Cornucopia:: A Rent Party & Membership Drive 8pm until Late $10 or sign up to become an Eyedrum Member! Help your favourite alternative art space survive! * Music and Performance! A Golden Summer, Black Love, and more * Art for sale! * Celebrate the opening of David Wilson's new installation! * Check out Transforming, the exhibition in the large gallery! If you are interested in selling your artwork: The work must be able to be displayed table-top. As this is a fundraiser, Eyedrum requests a donation deltavenus@mindspring.com A GOLDEN SUMMER Made up of Claire Campbell, Gary Kellam, Heather McIntosh and Jamie Shephard. It features cello, slide guitar, singing saw and trap drums. Lotsa harmonies. BLACK LOVE Brian Cook (former bassist for Pineal Ventana and The Titanics) and guitarist Rich Hudson (former singer-guitarist in BOB) abandoned all they know about alternative rock last summer and blew their minds with this experimental new duo. They switch instruments and play over prerecorded tapes, creating a sort of industrial-strength "no wave" sound. Flagpole, Athens 3-13-02 (Flicker). damn i wanna go. |
Anyway, I saw my new therapist today. I was very impressed by her. As we were wrapping things up she wanted to address the most immediate and manageable problem, trouble sleeping. I thought, 'Here it comes...she's going to ask me if I've ever thought of taking sleeping pills' She didn't even mention it. Instead, she suggested that I start doing some kind of nightly ritual to unwind instead of dropping my work, washing and then getting right into bed. She had a bunch of suggestions. It wasn't anything that I didn't already know; but one of those things that you forget when you're feeling poopy and lacking energy. She also wanted to know specifically how all of my sleep problems (and other anxious moments) manifested themselves. I liked that. |
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