Lonely without my Prince


sorabji.com: Have you ever been lonely?: Lonely without my Prince
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).
By Arnystal on Wednesday, January 14, 1998 - 08:05 am:
    I just had my husband leave me today,but that is fine its been coming for awhile we just didnt meld. His being gone dosnt make me lonely, its my best friend and soul companion being gone that makes me empty.All I want is to see Stephen, to feel him breathe on my neck as he hugs me,or to hear the sharp wrisp of breathe on my ear lobe as he wispers that he loves me.I miss his conversations,his Brittish voice that drives me wild.And if someone in Chicago sees him (wishful thinking),tell him there is a lost heart in Oregon awaiting him.

By Observer on Monday, February 2, 1998 - 12:35 am:
    I like that word, "wrisp"

By Gifsoz.net on Thursday, June 11, 1998 - 06:56 am:
    Blokes are a dime a dozen! wrisp is a really hot word.


By Rhiannon on Tuesday, October 31, 2000 - 02:40 pm:

    Rhythmic vocalization. 1. A sobbing vocal exhalation, ranging from soft-to-loud, given as a visceral response to grief, happiness, sadness, or pain. 2. An involuntary tightening of the voice box (or larynx) and pharyngeal muscles, usually accompanied by quivering chin, depressed lip corners, puckered brows, flared nostrils, tearing eyes, facial flushing, shoulder-shrugs, and forward bowing motions of the head and torso (note similarities to laughing).

    Usage I: To cry is human. Fragments of the cry face--esp. its a. quivering chin (mentalis muscle) and b. depressed lip corners (depressor anguli oris)--suggest sadness or disappointment, despite verbal remarks to the contrary. (N.B.: The above muscles, which are difficult to contract at will, are exceptionally accurate indicators of mood; the slightest disappointment, e.g., shows in slightly down-turned lips. Electromyographic studies show "fairly continuous activity" in mentalis [Gray's Anatomy (1995:795], reflecting the link between the mentalis muscle and emotions.) The first subjective (i.e., afferent) sign of crying is contraction of the throat muscles.

    Usage II: A happy cry averages two minutes; a sad cry, seven (Ralston 1998:99).

    RESEARCH REPORTS: 1. The most exhaustive nonverbal research on crying is by Charles Darwin (1872; see also comments by Paul Ekman in Darwin's volume). 2. The crying complex is present in newborns as the birth cry (McGraw 1943:16). 3. In nursery school children (after attack by classmates) weeping is "usually preceded by puckering the brows and reddening of the face," followed by immobility, thumb-sucking, and rocking back and forth (Blurton Jones 1967:355-56). 4. Blind-and-deaf-born children weep in anger (Eibl-Eibesfeldt 1971:12). 5. The child's cry face resembles the ape's "frustration-sadness," "whimper," and "cry" face (Chevalier-Skolnikoff 1973:80). 6. "The results [of studies of 46 !Kung San Bushman infants] support the concept that the early peak pattern [of crying] is not specific to infants in western industrialized societies, and may represent a behavior universal to the human species" (Barr 1990:608). 7. "The reflexlike links between perceiving and producing calls, and the emotional states associated with them, are made evident by the 'infectiousness' of some of our own species' innate calls, specifically laughter and crying" (Deacon 1997:236).

    Media. "'Thousands of songs have been composed about tears; almost every movie worth remembering stimulates their flow,' says Jeffrey Cottler, Ph.D, professor of counseling at Texas Tech University, in Lubbock, and author of The Language of Tears (Jossey-Bass, 1996)" (Ralston 1998:96).

    Tears. Humans are the only animals known to cry emotional tears of sadness and joy, though the vocal cries, whines, and whimpers of young mammals are similarly used to solicit aid from mothers. People report feeling better after a cry, according to a study by University of Minnesota biochemist, William Frey. Frey discovered the neurotransmitters leucine-enkephalin (an endorphin or natural opiate-like substance for pain relief) and prolactin (released from the pituitary in response to emotional stress) in emotional tears; the substances were not found in tears shed in response to sliced onions. (N.B.: Tears may help the body alleviate stress and cleanse itself of toxins, as do other exocrine processes, e.g., sweat, urine, and exhaled air.)

    Observations. Women cry five times more frequently than men (and average five crying spells a month). Women's tears also flow more than men's (which usually well up in the eyes rather than stream down the face like women's tears). The average length of a crying spell is one to two minutes. Sadness, followed by anger, sympathy, and fear are the reasons most adults give for crying.


By semillama on Tuesday, October 31, 2000 - 03:20 pm:

    Rhiannon, you are a wealth of information today.


By Margret on Tuesday, October 31, 2000 - 03:27 pm:

    Rhiannon, go ahead and check out Wittgenstein on non-linguistic expression.


By Rhiannon on Tuesday, October 31, 2000 - 04:00 pm:

    My roommate is reading Wittgenstein as we speak. I don't know if she likes him or not.

    How's this, Sem:

    2. In private life, human beings spend a great deal of time in seclusion behind closed doors (e.g., in bathrooms and bedrooms) and other partitions designed to shield their bodies from prying eyes. Scientists have determined that too much visual monitoring can be harmful to human health.

    ****

    RESEARCH REPORTS: 1. ". . .many kinds of monkeys, especially baboons, when angered or in any way excited, rapidly and incessantly move their eyebrows up and down. . ." (Darwin 1872:138). 2. In nursery school children, attacks "are often preceded and accompanied by fixating the opponent and by what looks like a frown with lowering of the eyebrows and rather little vertical furrowing of the brow ('low frown') and no conspicuous modification of the mouth expression" (Blurton Jones 1967:355). 3. Blind-and-deaf-born children frown in anger (Eibl-Eibesfeldt 1971:12). 4. Lowered brows show anger (Ekman and Friesen 1976). 5. "Puzzlement was displayed by curving the mouth downward, lowering the eyebrows and eyelids, dropping the jaw, and constricting the forehead muscles" (Burgoon et al. 1989:352). 6. "A series of recent studies finds that men and women in a group situation are more likely to respond to female leaders with scowls and frowns, while smiling and nodding at male leaders who say the same thing" [Manpower Comments, May 1990:19].

    ****

    Steinzor effect: Group dynamic. The finding that a. with minimal leadership, members of a discussion group address most remarks to colleagues sitting across a conference table; b. with a strong leader, members address colleagues seated beside them; and c. where leadership is shared, no spatial effect is seen (Sommer 1967).

    Usage: The Steinzor effect reveals a telling link between eye contact and dominance. We may find it difficult, e.g., to gaze directly at, or to cross lines of sight with, a dominant individual seated nearby at the same conference table.

    RESEARCH REPORT: "In task discussions, people direct more comments to those seated across from them in a circle or at a table, whereas in social discussions, they are more likely to talk to the person seated next to them. The presence of a directive leader may also encourage more talking to those in adjacent seats" (Burgoon et. al 1989:389).

    ****

    There may be more to follow.


By Rhiannon on Tuesday, October 31, 2000 - 04:10 pm:

    Usage: Our own animal nature shows clearly in the eagerness with which we sometimes bite our enemies. In New York City, e.g., ca. 1,500 human beings report having been bitten by other human beings each year (Conn and Silverman 1991:86). (N.B.: This is five times greater than the reported figure for rat bites [Wurman 1989:177].) In 1981, in Norfolk, Virginia, a traveling salesman was convicted of attacking a woman and biting off her nose.

    Anatomy. The muscles of mastication are the masseter and temporalis (which close the mouth); and the lateral and medial pterygoids and anterior belly of the digastric (which open the mouth).

    Biology. 1. "As soon as a young mouse has its teeth, it will turn around and try to bite anything which pinches its tail" (Scott 1975:7). 2. "Don't assume your dog won't bite. The most common statement from dog owners after a carrier has been bitten is, 'He's/She's never bitten anyone before!'" (flyer distributed in 2000 by the U.S. Post Office).

    Evolution. Along with their role in chewing and eating, our remote ancestors' jaws, jaw muscles, and teeth played a defensive role: the face was used as a weapon (as is dramatically the case today in, e.g., crocodiles, gorillas, and grizzly bears).

    Media. In their televised June 28, 1997 boxing rematch, challenger Mike Tyson committed a major foul by biting off a one-inch piece of Evander Holyfield’s ear and spitting it onto the floor of the ring. Two points were deducted from his score, but in the third round Tyson tried to bite Holyfield’s other ear and was disqualified from the competition.

    Neuro-notes. The muscles of biting are innervated by mandibular branches of the trigeminal nerve (cranial V, an emotionally sensitive special visceral nerve). Acting through the trigeminal's motor nucleus, emotional stimuli associated , e.g., with anger, may cause the jaw muscles to contract in uncontrollable biting movements.


By Rhiannon on Tuesday, October 31, 2000 - 04:24 pm:

    Media. "Another factor that makes it difficult to detect lies is that 'the fear of being disbelieved looks the same as the fear of being caught lying,' he [Dr. Paul Ekman] said" (Goleman, New York Times, C9, Sept. 17, 1991).

    Nonverbal changes. According to Mark Knapp, Judee Burgoon, and G. Miller, ". . . changes in nonverbal behavior during deception consistently occur in six behavioral categories: (a) cues indicating underlying anxiety or nervousness, (b) cues indicating underlying reticence or withdrawal (including nonimmediacy), (c) excessive behaviors that deviate from the liar's truthful response patterns, (d) cues showing underlying negative affect, (e) cues showing underlying vagueness or uncertainty, and (f) incongruous responses or mixed messages" (Burgoon et al. 1989:270).

    O. J. Simpson's murder trial. 1. Listening to testimony about the location of his knit cap, Mr. Simpson visibly protested what he knew to be false. 2. Listening to testimony accusing him of the murder of his wife, Mr. Simpson showed no visible protest and remained completely motionless in his seat. 3. Why the stark contrast in his nonverbal demeanor? (N.B.: You be the judge.)

    Palm-up. "Pilot studies had suggested that a particular emblem, the hand shrug [a palm-up cue] which has the meaning of helplessness or inability . . . would appear as a clue to the occurrence of deception. . . . . In this instance, we expected that the hand-shrug emblem was occurring as a nonverbal slip of the tongue, with little awareness on the part of the subject, and that it was a deception cue" (Ekman and Friesen 1972:367).

    Self-touch. "We think the [hand-to-face] eyecover [of] shame expresses her main affective reaction to the two verbal themes, being hospitalized and having aggressive impulses" (Ekman and Friesen 1968:207; Author's Note: In the figure used to illustrate the eyecover cue, the subject is also gazing downward and touching her forehead with her hand).

    RESEARCH REPORTS: 1. Deliberate control of body movement and the mental energy required to fabricate a lie have been suggested to explain the general research finding that fewer body movements occur with deception (Vrij et al. 1966). 2. Lower rates of head nodding "are associated with deceitful communication" (Mehrabian 1972:102). 3. Three ". . . extensive reviews of the data . . . showed that several nonverbal cues are, in fact, consistently related to deception" (Burgoon et al. 1989:270). "Deceivers display increased pupil dilation [see EYES], blinking rates, and adaptors [i.e., self-touching], more segments of body behavior, and fewer segments of facial behavior" (Burgoon et al. 1989:271). 4. Paul Ekman suggests that one should ". . . never reach a final conclusion about whether a suspect is lying or truthful based solely on either the polygraph or behavioral clues to deceit" (Ekman 1992:238; italics are the author's). 5. People make "fewer hand movements during deception compared to truth-telling" (Vrij et al. 1997:97).


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