i feel like one of the godfather movies. "i try to get out and they keep pulling me back in." the shows in arizona were dissappointing. i am used to clearing the room but we couldn't even fill it up. i think the tensions could be felt through the music (it is touchy feely music.) kym almost broke the band up. tho no one believes me. another girl went on the trip and slept with all but 1 member of the band (we are a 7 peice). oh yeah she is supposed to be a good friend of mine. and everyone got some, but yours truly. all i wanted was to have dirty hot summer sex in a room with just a fan or something. but no, i had to settle for getting so drunk i freaked out and hid in the hotel closet. tried to give flyers to the boys i saw, but i am atracted to gay men so there was really no point although they think i am pretty. then we broke down in Pecos Txas, if you have never been here, don't go. i was the weirdest person in this place. by nightfal everyone in town had seen me. i am no longer fond of restoring cars or volkswagens. i have gotten past them now. i have seperated myself from it and it is now an art concept. and i have mistakingly thought that all of these men were hitting on me. but now i am in dalas, back where it all began. the place that won't break up with me. just keps forgiving me and takes me in. that fuckin' bitch.