| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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1. Great Escapes and Entrances *How to Escape from Quicksand *How to Break Down a Door *How to Break into a Car *How to Hot-wire a Car *How to Perform a Fast 180-Degree Turn with Your Car *How to Ram a Car *How to Escape from a Sinking Car *How to Deal with a Downed Power Line 2. The Best Defense *How to Survive a Poisonous Snake Attack *How to Fend Off a Shark *How to Escape from a Bear *How to Escape from a Mountain Lion *How to Wrestle Free from an Alligator *How to Escape from Killer Bees *How to Deal with a Charging Bull *How to Win a Sword Fight *How to Take a Punch 3. Leaps of Faith *How to Jump from a Bridge or Cliff into a River *How to Jump from a Building into a Dumpster *How to Maneuver on Top of a Moving Train and Get Inside *How to Jump from a Moving Car *How to Leap from a Motorcycle to a Car 4. Emergencies *How to Perform a Tracheotomy *How to Use a Defribillator to Restore a Heartbeat *How to Identify a Bomb *How to Deliver a Baby in a Taxicab *How to Treat Frostbite *How to Treat a Leg Fracture *How to Treat a Bullet or Knife Wound 5. Adventure Survival *How to Land a Plane *How to Survive an Earthquake *How to Survive Adrift at Sea *How to Survive When Lost in the Desert *How to Survive If Your Parachute Fails to Open *How to Survive an Avalanche *How to Survive If You Are in the Line of Gunfire *How to Survive When Lost in the Mountains *How to Make Fire Without Matches *How to Avoid Being Struck by Lightning *How to Get to the Surface If Your Scuba Tank Runs Out of Air Does this book kick ass or what? It's got pictures and everything. |
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i mean, la-te-da. nothing we didn't learn in SEAL training. |
Where did you find it? Is it on the net? |
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It's by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht. San Francisco: Chronicle Books, 1999. ISBN 0-8118-2555-8 There's a website for the publisher that has a catalog: http://www.chroniclebooks.com/cgi-bin/Adult/view.cgi?isbn=0811825558 Here's a taste: HOW TO JUMP FROM A BRIDGE OR CLIFF INTO A RIVER 1. Jump feet first 2. Keep your body completely vertical. 3. Squeeze your feet together. 4. Enter the water feet first, and clench your buttocks together. If you do not, water may rush in and cause severe internal damage. 5. Protect your crotch area by covering it with your hands. 6. Immediately after you hit the water, spread you arms and legs wide and move them back and forth to generate resistance, which will slow your plunge to the bottom. Always assume the water is not deep enough to keep you from hitting bottom. Be aware: *Hitting the water as described above could save your life, although it may break your legs. *If your body is not straight, you can break your back upon entry. Keep yourself vertical until you hit the water. *Do not even think about going in headfirst unless you are absolutely sure that the water is at least 20 feet deep. If your legs hit the bottom, they will break. If your head hits the bottom, your skull will break. |
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On a related note, my new bestseller, "How to Make Grouse Jambalaya with a .44 Mag and Only Two Bullets" will be available online in the near future. Call my publisher for details. |
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The book is now missing (I think my bro. stole it while I was gone this afternoon, and now he (and it) are in NYC). But this is what I remember from the "how to get out of the line of fire" entry: 1. Run in a zig-zag pattern away from the shooter as far away as you can. The shooter will not be accurate at a distance of more than 60 feet, unless s/he has training. 2. Get behind a parked car (if outdoors) or a desk (if indoors), unless the gun in question is a rifle, in which case try to get around the corner of a building or indoor wall. 3. If you are outside, there are no cars around, and there's no time to duck behind a wall, lie in the street in the gutter. 4. Try everything you can to protect your head. |
clench my buttocks, grab my crotch and GET THE FUCK OUTA DODGE! |
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I think it should read "cover your crotch area with one hand and plug your nose with the other. Keep your elbow tucked in close to your body or else your shoulder could be dislocated from the force of entry." |
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http://www.infobahn.com/pages/pujol.html |
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I always felt sorry for Kee, what a horrible way to spend the rest of your life! |
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I just checked out that site you sent me, and I spotted you right off.Thats not just a bitch, but an ignorant bitch.Bet she's alot of fun at a party. |
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And as one who's been shot at dozens of times, a desk would be near the bottom of my list for cover from anything other than a BB gun. In a close-in office environment, you'd be better off just going after the prick. |
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ok bye L |
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"I told her that I was going to come after her with the salami and dogs." I just saw that. J wins phrase o' the week. |