my brother is having a party tonight and I know I'm gonna end up just being in my room, lookin' after my dog because i'm so shy. I feel pretty when I look in the mirror, I really like my voice and I think I'm a sweet person, but I just can never bring myself to TALK to them. and then i feel like and outcast and get mad, even though it's MY fault. i HATE this. sigh.

wear something sluttly and just sit calmly.

i'm wearing the best outfit EVER... i just honestly, can't leave my room. i'm watching a movie. waiting for... i don't even know.

HA!........(loooking around) is this being taped............Sem....quick trace the ip address....I suspect another Persephone

It's Luma girl alright, and the girl's in desperate need of SLACK, STAT! I suspect a large group of normals are siphoning it out of her as we speak! Quick, Luma Girl, you must visit http://www.subgenius.com/pam1/pamphlet.html

i totally don't understand

it's not improtant, we just had to do a quick backgropund check to verify everything. It all matched, your cleared. Now.........shyness problem.....ah..yes right......give this a go for ice breakers..... mix up two of your fav vodka drinks, drink them fast, masturbate in private before things get going......WHAMO!!!!! you'll be loose as a goose, your hormones will be at ease, in case ther are any guys you find intersting..... and the night should go off with a bang. Just remember that you are family to the host, you get immediate respect for that, the guests know that they are in YOUR house.......or just act aloof and watch every one swoon for your attnetion,

I do not endorse the use of chemicals as social lubricants. Contrary to popular belief, they do not allow for the release of your true self at parties. They make you act like an idiot in front of strangers. That aside... I'm shy. It's true. That's why I'm a blabbermouth in the comforts of cyberspace. In person, when I'm around strangers, I'm a complete clam. Or else I lie my ass off rather than tell anyone anything true and personal. What I do when I have to be in the company of large numbers of people I don't know is: A) pretend I'm not shy. And I remember that most people (not me, but most other people) love to talk about themselves. So if you can get past the introductions (which your brother can help you with) just get other people talking about themselves, nod and smile when appropriate, and people will think how friendly you are. B) act aloof, as the Waffle-boy said. Only I don't do it intentionally. But I have found that shy/aloof people are like people who don't like cats. Cats always hang around people who don't like cats. Also, the strong-silent type in men has its quiet-mysterious counterpart in women. Both are irresistable to the opposite sex. Now, if you're like me and actually want to be left alone, this is a problem. But it sounds like you want people to talk to you. So if you just be your normal quiet, shy, and therefore mysterious self, you should have no problem. Otherwise, stay near your brother or someone else you know, or better, invite your own friends and act like you're having more fun than anyone else at the party. Or you could keep yourself busy manning the stereo or cleaning up in the kitchen or something like that, so you're not just standing there doing nothing. Or, hell. Don't even stay home. Go out somewhere yourself. There's nothing wrong with being shy, either. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

maybe you just don't do well in party situations. i hate parties. i'm also not sure if the masturbation before socialization is as effective with girls as it is with boys.

I'm not sure I get the whole masturbation as a cure for shyness thing, myself. How is someone who's so shy supposed to relax enough to please themselves with a houseful of party guests roaming about? Rhiannon - I totally disagree with you on the aloofness thing, too. I'm Really shy in reality, and when I'm around people I don't know I'm very quiet and mostly just pay close attention to the actions of others. I don't talk. I smile when someone talks to me, but that's just more nervousness. I'm pretty sure that I come across as being very aloof and somewhat snobby, and I hate that. It makes people stay away from me. I've Heard people comment behind my back about how snobby I am. I'm not - I'm just shy. I can't bring myself to walk up to someone (even someone I Sort Of know) and start talking. I've also done the "try to look busy and maybe no one will notice you're not socializing" thing, and it just makes me feel like a coward because now I'm not only not talking to others, but I'm not giving them a chance to talk to me. Unfortunatly, I have no swell advice. Obviously since I'm still so shy, I don't know how to combat the problem. If it's really really important, I can force myself to say what I think (if I can think of something to say...) but for casual comversation, I get nervous just saying someone's name. I don't think anyone can tell you how to Not Be Shy. You just kinda have to find your own limits.

There are degrees of shyness, of course. There is also social phobia, which is much worse. (This is my thesis topic for next year, and it's fascinating.) Some social phobics won't, say, walk down a busy street because they don't want the people in the cars looking at them, or they can't write checks in public because they're afraid of their hand shaking, which would embarrass them. That's how you can tell the difference between shyness and social phobia: the fear of embarrassment, and things related (like the fear of blushing, which embarrasses social phobics). With social phobia, the fear is crippling / causes significant impairment to your life. Anyway, I agree with you, Gee, on the "find your own limits" thing. [I hope no one got the impression that I was suggesting you just "go out and do it" or something. Ugh, I HATE it when people say things like that, and I didn't intend what I said to come across like that. What I said were just two things that I do in public, on purpose or not.] Certain situations or contexts, I'm sure we'll all agree, are better / worse than others. For example, with me (who may be more or less shy than others), if I were Luma girl and my brother was having a party at my house, I would not feel that uncomfortable. Because the party was at MY house...my territory, a place I know and feel good in. And I'd probably act aloof and mean, because it irritates me when people I don't know are in my house, and no one would talk to me because I would be truly snobby. But if the party were at a stranger's house, I probably wouldn't go, because I'd feel too uncomfortable. Back to finding your own limits: there's nothing wrong with being shy, unless it bothers you so much that you want to change. I also think shyness can be caused by many different things, and if you really look at your life and try to find this cause, it can help you decide what buttons to push if you want to change. Repeat, IF you want to change. In my experience, my shyness got better in a weird way. With me, my shyness is worse around males. Boys, men, old men, it doesn't matter. And I look at my life and see that I was not shy at all as a kid but became shy in middle school. Because that's when boys and girls stopped just being friends and started being something more, which freaked me out....and most importantly, that's when all the sexual harrassment started. That's where I learned to associate groups of boys with "they are going to do or say something to you that is going to make you feel really bad, and no one is going to do a thing to stop it." I went to an all-girls high school (and I'm not as shy around girls), which was all right, but it made my shyness around guys worse, because now I was unfamiliar with them. I go to an all-women's college now, which certainly doesn't help matters, and I *chose* to go to an all-women's college only because I felt so uncomfortable around men. And I'll admit that until I was 20, I still thought sex = bad, men think about sex all the time, hence men = bad. I got over that this January, and to be honest, I think it was a miracle, because I had actually been praying for this anxiety to go away, and it did very very suddenly. Like all of a sudden, I could actually make small talk with waiters and guys behind the cash register in the grocery store. Which I had NEVER been able to do before. So, miracle aside, I also think that being away from home and my friends (and I don't really have any close friends at college now, just small-talk acquaintances) and literally being *forced* to do things on my own and interact with people without any help *forces* me to perform well in public situations. Like, when I need groceries, I NEED groceries...and I HAVE to go to the store...by myself...and get them, whether I'm uncomfortable or not. Anyway, I don't know how this can help you or anything...I just felt like sharing my experience. I'll shut up now.

Geez, I'm no help here. I'm an extrovert (albeit a mellow one). Hubby and I go places, I do the mingling, and he kicks me under the table if I'm dominating the conversation too much. I like wearing low cut shirts sometimes so I can see how many guys talk to my breasts instead of me. That is SO funny. If only I could throw my voice. Like they said, work with your limits, try to get out there a little. You might meet someone that you really connect with, that you can relax around.

Well luma girl,how did it go?I have the opposite problem,my husband says I never know a stranger,he use to get kinda of mad about it,now he,s like me too.I used to actually get my mouth taped with masking tape in grade school,you think I would have learned after the 1st time.After reading this thread,it made me think of Crimson.

"I do not endorse the use of chemicals as social lubricants." HA! "i'm also not sure if the masturbation before socialization is as effective with girls as it is with boys." hmmmmmmmmm "I'm not sure I get the whole masturbation as a cure for shyness thing, myself. How is someone who's so shy supposed to relax enough to please themselves with a houseful of party guests roaming about?" I though I would lob that one out there and see what happened with it.....a little disapointing. And Gee, the logistics of it aren't as importanrt as the end result. But again, I half assed that one and was hoping somebody like FB or Sem would run with it.........next time I suppose...... I wasn't proposing she get drunk, but alcohol can be helpful when you are in an environment that can be awkward at first. If I have to go to a function that is not in my usualy social circle of friends, say a work party or something, I always have a drink or two before I leave.....it seriously seems to do the trick. I am not one to walk up to folks and say...HI! My name is *, HOW ARE YOU TODAY? HAVE YOU TRIED THE ONION DIP, IT"S SMASHING" etc etc.......a drink helps me appear a little more suave, J do you dance on top of bars? I have to watch my wife every now and then...........she is known to do that, espcially if someone throws Brown Sugar or Rebel Rebel on the jukebox.....

Ok seriously, I'm borderline introvert now, and way introvert when i was a teenager. I had real hard times talking to girls because I really didn't know what to talk about. I still have a similar problem having conversations with foks if I don't know a common topic of interest. What makes it worse for me is the fact that things I know a lot about and like to talk about are usually not the same as the majority of women. I have no problem discussing music of course, but I don't meat a lot of women who listen to the same genres I do. That suprises me a little since I listne to so many differnt types of music. However, I usually don't like anything that's currently on the radio ( not experimental enough) so maybe that's it. I have this problem with my field assistant, who is not the talkative type. We'll discuss methodology in the field and various quirks about the Army, but that's about it. A lot of the time she just sits there, and I feel ike I am not doing enough to keep a conversation going. My advice for anyone who's shy is to find the folks you have the most in common with, and you'll usually find that yourself feeling comfortable amongst them. If they're truly the right people, they won't even care if you don't talk alot at first. Ususally there is someone who does more than his/her fair share anyway. That's partly why I put up the SubGenius link, a lot of folks who don't "fit in" find the Church and its flock of non-joiners and loners to be perfect company. {not that i have actually met any of them in the flesh yet, but I'm probably the only card carrying minister between Minneaplois and Madison.}

"A lot of the time she just sits there, and I feel like I'm not doing enough to keep the conversation going." Though the silence is awkward for you, it may be comfortable for her. Who knows? Church of the Subgenius: okay, forgive the lack of clue on my part, but I was always thought the CotS was supposed to be a joke. My sister has a mahjong game on her computer that has CotS tiles. For real now: is it...um...like, a real religion?

I hope I didn't offend you with that last question.

you didn't. c of s is a parody religion and it says so on the package. it was started in dallas, tx. around '81 by a film maker named ivan stang (rev.) and a musician named philo drummond. i live in fort worth, and the dallas/fort worth area is home to some of the more heinous breeds of televangelists, and c of s was the natural response. unfortunately the original energy of the church seems to have withered here in its birthplace. i used to listen to the "hour of slack" every sunday night, but it went off the air. but maybe even slack needs to slack off a little.

Where's Reverend Ike? A little oxycodone with a valium kicker. least they're pharmaaceutival.

The Subgenius lives in my heart, and I live in Dallas, so there IS a reality reboot in your area. Hey, I'll be in Fort Worth tomorrow. I'm going to see Miss Saigon at the Bass. Me and some friends are going to eat at a Japanese restaurant near the hall before the show. (Don't worry, we're harmless Unitarians...) Wanna have a mini Sorabji fest, Droop?

okay, it's all over now and i'm not sure if i did well or did horribly at this party thing... i feel like i sold myself out, here, i'll explain: by the way RATED AA FOR SEXUAL CONTENT it started off all cool... i did start drinking a little and it made me feel sexy and it made me talk a little more than usual. anyway, i wasn't as awkward so that was cool. there were a whole bunch of guys there that i've known since i was a little girl, so that made me feel a lot less shy too... however, the party did not end with all that. i threw up (in my own bathroom, away from party guests). i guess i don't really know my alcohol-tolerence level because i thought i wasn't drinking very much. but anyway, after that i felt really... i don't know, weird. so this nice guy that i've known since i was FIVE (his name is mike) took me to the park behind my house to 'walk it off'. i've had a crush on him since i was a little girl, so i was pretty happy and feelin' good... i thought we were bonding... we sat on a park bench talking about why i'm afraid to go to university and stuff and listened to me talk and then he said "man, you're still a total virgin, aren't you????" and i was like... "yeah" (Blushing). then he was like "i bet you've never even touched a penis before" and he started touching my breasts... i was honestly okay with all of that since i have a little bit of a crush on him. so i went along with it quietly. it was fine for a few minutes, but then he just said "ON YOUR KNEES" (exact words, and he sounded mean) and i... well, you know. and that was fine too, i guess even though i've never done that before and even though he was getting weird. and he kept pushing my head down HARD saying "i've jerked off thinking about you sucking my c**k". i felt sorta dirty. he kept asking me "have you RELALY never seen a d**k before?". i wouldn't have sex with him though and he said "next time". and i felt even worse after he came and everything and i realized that he didn't even KISS me... not ONCE!!!!! bastard!!!!! so i went back home to my room and passed out. anyway, it was a MUCH different evening than i've ever had. and it's true, not ONE WORD of a lie. thank you ALL for your help and stuff, i don't really know how to feel about this outcome but i'm sure when i do i'll be back here talkin' it up with you cats.

Luma, make friends with a big jock guy and have him smash that bastards face into the sidewalk. It shouldn't take much persuasion. He might even kiss you. The point is, fuckers like that need to be shocked into reality. But, the more important question is: what the fuck is wrong with you that you would have a crush on him? Let's just hope this is an anomaly and you will kick the next guy who treats you like that's ass. You are in charge. Don't let that shit happen again.

Heck with finding a jock friend, have your brother smash that bastard's face in. Or, better yet, take a baseball bat to his ass yourself.

Ok, you need to execute that pink boy, we don't need his kind around. The church of the subgenius is alive and well, even though thealiens didn't show up on x-day or xx-day. xxx-day might be the one. As for it being a joke, well, is it a joke masquerading as a bizarre religion, or a post-millinial thought system posing as a satire fronting as a weirdo religion? The Subgenius: Our last best hope or just a jackass with a crazy grin? Hour of slack is still on the air, they just went past their 666th episode, it's broadcast out of cleveland and you can hear it live on realaudio, as well as listen to an archive of all the old shows at subgenius.com. Just look under the audio links and you'll find all sorts of neat stuff. The Church gained some notoriety after Columbine after some jackass called up during a NPR live talk show and claimed that the police found CotS literature in the kids' rooms and gave out the web address for some of the more virulent anti-human satire. Needless to say, no one got the joke. In fact, a devival in Boston was nearly shut down because of it, but you can't keep a good Subgenius down and it was held on the steps of a church. If you are really really bored at work and have a wide-based sense of humor, there's no better website to eat up a lot of the time you're supposed to be slaving away for some uncaring faceles corporate SinEntity.

oh, and I refer Luma Girl to the Henrietta Collins and the WifeBeating Childhaters album (now available on the same disc as Henry Rollins' first solo album), last track, "Men are Pigs". If you find yourself in a similar situation, follow the advice, but I don't think the address is current.

Ok. Masturbation to help ease nervousness in social situations? Yea, it might be true. It could help, but I think you're just pulling something out of the Cameron Diaz flic. I find masturbation just frustrates me more. I always want to orgasm, and when I don't, I get pissy. HAHAHHAA. Can you imagine? "hey girl, why such a frown?" "unsatisfied". HAHAHA. ok um. time for more sleep I think. I want to move. http://www.endless.org/~calliope

Well, if you don't climax, it's not going to help. That's the theraputic part. And Luma, I wouldn't try the drinking thing again. If you do, drink MUCH less.

And bring some piano wire!

Luma Girl, if you don't mind my asking, how old are you? It sounds like this guy was taking advantage of your inexperience.

Luma Girl, you realize you were only a step away from getting raped, right? Maybe you shuoldn't start drinking yet, or at least only do it in the company of people you trust to look after you if you get schmammered. I've found thats where the big problem with drinking in social situations lies at times. And if a similar situaton happens and you don't want to get violent on his ass, tell him he has to go down on you first and be very steadfast about that. Probably deflate the guy back to sanity.

Luma Girl you gave some sorry ass bastard a blow-job,that he didn,t even deserve,you think about that next time you see that son of a bitch,don,t you ever speak to that shit again,and put the word out about what a creep he is,it,s the best way you can help yourself.Next time...I hope you don,t give that piece of shit a next time.

i'm 19 and yeah, re-thinking everything i'm really pissed off. i thought i DID trust this guy, that's why it's so screwy. at least i got a little bit of experience before i go away to university though. bottom line is: being shy is OKAY (better than dealing with trash like THAT all the time). except maybe if i wasn't shy i would have been able to stand up to him... i don't know. thanks again you guyz.

Lets get his phone number. Consider this posse your internet mafiaoso. Here is what we need....... phone, address, something particular about his pecker or body,(i.e. small, curved, ...etc)...aka a WEAK SPOT. Drop his phone on the site here, and we'll take care of the rest.... and the masturbation thing WAS silly, and that movie was overated........ I still have a feeling we are being lugged here. But I'll play along.

I don't understand. Why was it easier to (in your words) "well, you know" than to say no? That makes no sense to me. Then again, I'm the one who found it easier to punch Sean Brennan in the mouth (and knock out a tooth, thank you) than to say "don't touch me." Evidently I lack the "Oh, I don't want to hurt his feelings" gene that other females seem to have. I hope to GOD that wasn't what you were thinking at the time.

Oh come on. Masturbation doesn't just feel good at the climax. Neither does sex. Why do you think we try to make it last as long as we do? Boredom? I had good sex last night. I'm happy. It's funny. I keep waiting for something to go bad between us. It always does. If it's not the emotion, it's the sex. The thrills you feel when you first start dating someone go away after awhile. Funny thing is, it's been 3 months and they haven't gone away. None of it. I keep asking him to be like cardboard. He can't. I'm leaving for Richmond in 5 days. I don't know if I'm going to be able to see him again after that because of distance. Why does this shit always happen? Waffleboy, yo, I got the smack down on Luma Girl here. We be jackin her fella tomorrow. Bring a glock, a bottle of Jim Beam and lots of frilly tutus. Anybody else who be in best contact yo. Don't be dissin, I ain't playin. http://www.endless.org/~calliope

i'ma shinin my Louisville slugger as we speak

i got that phone card and too much time on my hands,I,ll call the little bastard and rip him a new one.Does he have a e-mail address?

beeeotch. you louisville slugger won't crack jank on a sunny day. what we be needin is some mad hard cats and a bottle of jilly. alright. i give up. i'll never be a black man.

Sharpen your garden shears ladies, it's time for a pruning party. And this time the fucker really deserves it... Well, so do the other two assholes in question, who shall remain nameless, having already been named (and phone numbered, usual hangouted, and potentially ATM pin-coded).

thats ugly Lucy, we were just gonna break his knee caps or something.............

No one answered my question

Rhiannon--- i think i understand why it's easier to say "well, you know" than "no" although it aches pretty bad to admit it. I'm a strong woman, but I've been in situations where giving in to sex is easier than fighting it off. It's not fair when men put us in that position. I'm not saying it is. But sometimes if you close your eyes, and pretend you aren't there, it's easier than fighting, kicking, screaming to get the person away from you. Sometimes, we aren't always as strong as we wish we were. Sometimes it's hard to say "NO" when you're terrified.

sometimes you're just too drunk to care and the next morning you're thinking 'shit... shit... what the hell did i do him for?' um yeah. *G*

Luma girl- are you english? i just thought of that because you mentioned the rating "AA" which, I have been told, is a British rating prohibiting children under 14 from attending without a parent. that is all.

it means 'adult accompaniment', it's the rating between pg-13 and R in Canada (and britian too, if you say so). In fact, most R rated movies are bumped down to AA in canada anyway. I remember a certain guy who thought he could pull that kind of shit on me Luma. My revenge was quick and painful, I assure you. I sujest you lead him on to think you might do it again, then when his pants are down the possibilites are endless. yes yes yes.

Watch Heathers, it's full of good ideas for dealing with assholes (and has probably been banned in the wake of Littleton) Never mind. Movies make teenagers crazy. It must be true. Al Gore said so. (In the real world, crazy teenagers make movies, but we're not worried about that)

www.revengerus.com

Heathers is a fantastic movie!

Yes please do post the telephone number I want to know what the fuck this dickhead was thinking about taking advantage of you when you were drunk! People always get sexual when they are drunk but once your morals slide back in, it's awful. I wanted to give my boyfriend his frist bj when I was drunk but lucky for me he was nice and wise enough to say no wait till you're sober. Obviously this was just a bad episode, you definately need to take drinking like holding a gun, just ease into it, don't go too far, if you have a good friend, make sure they're at the party with you, I would never go to a party alone without at least someone I know.

luma, your brother threw the party right? i'm guessing your brother was/is more or less friends with this guy, or at least an acquaintance. tell your brother what happened! not necessarily all the details, but give him the gyst of it. tell him this guy took advantage of you. i bet your brother would stick up for you and get something done about it. unless of course, you want to do what wisper suggested, which would be fuckin fantastic. that guy is an asshole and deserves anything horrible coming his way.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. This is how you get even. 1st. You need acess to his car (you may need to ask to see him again) if he works and you know his routine, perfect. 2nd. Buy crack or meth. 3rd. Put the drugs in the car while he's at work or when you see him because "you want to see him again". 4th. when you know that he is leaving work or leaving your house from your "visit" call his license number into 911 USE A PAYPHONE IN A LOCATION WHERE THEIR IS LITTLE CHANCE OF A WITNESS make your call brief. DO NOT tell them you know of drugs in the car.The police are usually busy and don't care about a small time bust on little probable cause. Have notes in your hand, because you will be nervous and forget otherwise. Tell 911 that you were walking your child to (or from) school when a ------ drove up in a ------- and pointed a GUN at US (make it sound as if you, your child, many other kids) "oh, ya I wrote the license down...it was-----" If they ask what kind of gun, it was a Little one you don't know anything else. (the police are only allowed to search areas with probable cause. If you say long rifle etc... then anything they find will get tossed out by the courts if it was in an area that a long rifle couldn't fit. (think small) DO NOT GIVE ANY PERSONAL DETAILS REGARDING YOURSELF. Get off the phone as soon as you have given enough details to excite the cops. DO THIS ALONE DO NOT TELL ANYONE ELSE KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT DO NOT BE TEMPTED TO GLOAT Don't get yourself in jail due to stupidity. On this kind of shit you can trust NO ONE. The only true secret is the one you keep to yourself. This works. You won't be able to talk about it for 7-10 years depending on where you live. If you can't keep a secret that long then DON"T DO IT.

um jeeeze, can we just get his number and address and torment him with hate mail.....sign him up to get a trial subscription of every gay skin mag and Quilting weekly.......start a rumor that he confessed to you at a party he was gay and very confused, give his name to a gay suicide watch hotline and tell him he is a close friend and you are worried.....that kind of shit....anything involving the cops is bad bad bad bad

Yep, I agree but sometimes it's gotta be done.

The prick should be in jail for rape. But I can understand if she feels she would be more traumatized by the trial than by the ordeal. He wants a battering, at the very least. Petty harrassment is not sufficient. Luma, let me know if you decide to do something about this maggot.

Luma, just remember on the net you never know who you are talking to. Keep your revenge private, then keep your mouth closed.

I want his balls on the stakes at the London Bridge.

the new london bridge or the old london bridge, i think the old one was bought by some Vegas tycoon I believe, but the new one is quite nice too

Well that bitch is going to pay in a kinky slinky way.

Oh, dear. Is that a GvsB reference, by any chance?

I wouldn't know. I have no idea what a GvsB even is.

The london bridge is right here in Arizona,supposedly they took it apart in London and rebuilt it at Lake Havasu.

Sorry. GvsB = Girls Against Boys, and they have a song called "Cash Machine" that has the phrase "a kinky slinky dream" in it. Oh, well.

Actually it's from this song by Big Rude Jake. Hee. I've heard of Girls against boys, but I've never heard anything by them, the only thing that comes to mind is that song by Blur.

You want to know how shy I am? Here's a good illustration: I was sick for the past 2 weeks and haven't been to my English class since 11/11. I am all better now. Tomorrow I *think* (I lost the copy of the sign-up sheet) I have to lead class discussion of Tomas Rivera's "...And the Earth Did Not Devour Him" with another girl from my class. I emailed her on Saturday telling her I'd be free all Monday to go over with her what we want to do in class. She has not yet responded. Here's where the shyness comes in. I'm looking at our telephone directory. I see her name in there and her number. But I can't call her. I'm too nervous. My heart is racing and my stomach hurts. All I have to say is "hi I was wondering if you got my email...no? well we have to lead class tomorrow and i was wondering when you would be free tonight to go over the questions we want to ask and stuff." Then she will answer and then i'll hang up. That's it. But I'm too nervous. And I don't know why. She's nice, not scary. If she's not there, I'll just leave a message. But all the talking to myself that I do doesn't calm my heart down or make my stomach relax. I'm so pathetic.

I called her. It was fine. See what I do to myself? I get all worked up over nothing. This happens all the time, and yet every time it happens again, I can't remember that I've been fine the other 12891729817 times I've gotten nervous. It's my godforsaken adrenal glands. They're always getting involved when they shouldn't. I just should have them removed.

That's how I am too. Worse. I'm like that with Friends, even.