| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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it's hard to explain in words. it's like when someone is eating an apple near me. often i'm fine with it, but sometimes my chemistry is just right and i have to leave or risk exploding. it happened at work today. i was tired, and achy from this cold-thing i have, and felt the sudden, urgent need to flee. go home. this started maybe 4pm, by 5pm i was on the road. i got home, started feeling better immediately. fed the cat, went through the mail, thought about what i'd accomplish around the house, went downstairs and started diddling with my computer. thoughts of beer began to arise. i could get drunk, smoke some dope, do something fun with my evening. just for the fuck of it. the phone rings. it is C.J.'s husband. he says: "Listen, C.J. had a seizure, hit a car, she's fine and all, but the cops won't let her drive home. can you ride with me to the police station, and then drive one of the cars home? She's in San Bruno" "Absolutely." nothing either of them wouldn't do for me if i was in need. i drive up to their house, a couple miles up the road from me, drop my truck off there, we hop in his and off we go. it's a good hour, hour and a half drive to San Bruno from where we live. he took us on the twisty, scenic route. through redwoods and oak, up 9 to Skyline. so called because it runs the spine of the mountain range that seperates the sea from the valley. we get to the police station. turns out C.J. had an absence siezure. blanked out for a minute, sideswiped a car, rear ended another four times in a row and then drove into a ditch. didn't remember a thing. apparently a cop watched the whole thing. they gave her the drunk tests, which she passed. the normal cop rigamarole. the paramedics tested her blood sugar, which was dangerously low. they took her keys and gave her a glucose drink. the cops handed the keys over to C.J.'s husband. he got back in the truck, and C.J. and i jumped in her volvo. i was driving, of course. i'm barrelling up 280 and we're talking about object oriented programming and genetic inheritance and atomic physics and i was just about to make some important point when she said: "Here comes a big one." or something to that effect. i don't really recall. she put her head down in her hands. started cursing under her breath. this went on for maybe i minute. then she turned and looked over her left shoulder. held her head there for a long time. she was working her jaw, making smacking noises with her mouth. then her hands curled up like her arms were whithering. her legs twisted over each other. she was pushing around and moving about and turning in her seat. i pulled the car over. she had her head down by my right thigh. i held her head. she was grinding her teeth. i can still hear it in my skull, it was so hard. so loud. i could feel her jaw working in my palm. foamy spit bubbled out of her mouth. she was making strange, strange noises. the viens in her temple were screaming. i don't remember how it stopped. if it was sudden or gradual. but it did, and it was like she was sleeping. i asked her if she was back, no response. i put the car in park, shut it off, and hit the hazards. i kept rubbing her shoulder and talking to her, but nothing. her viens still bulged. i saw lights pull up behind me, and then suddenly we were lit up bright as day. highway patrol. i got out of the car when i saw the cop was out of his vehicle. he said: "Get back in your car." i said: "What???" (the traffic was loud, though i knew what he said.) he said: "Get back in your car." i said: "No." he said: "Get back in your car NOW!" i put my hands up where he could see them well and said "NO. Listen, my friend just had a siezure." he walked up and opened the passenger door. i'd put my hands in my pockets when he looked back at me and he reached for his gun. i pulled my hands out slowly: "Dude, i'm cool." Officer Jr. Cadet looked all over 15. five-foot-two asian kid with a shaved-to-fuzz head. he touched C.J.'s shoulder like it was leperous and said "Ma'am? ma'am, you ok?" she moaned. he went on to ask her her name. she looked at me for a long time and then looked at him and gave a half grunt. he asked her if she knew her age. she looked at me again, and then after a moment said "Fifty...fifty-seven." she's thirty. Jr. Cadet decided to call and ambulance. paramedics arrived on the scene. there were a lot of people on the scene. the kind of thing you slow down to look at on the highway. they gave me a hospital name and took off. Jr. Cadet started to explain to me how to get to the hospital, and then went into his car to bring out a typed booklet of how to get to hospitals from a variety of highways, freeways and interstates in the area. i read the description i needed quickly. he asked if i needed a pen to write it down, i said no, i've got it. i took off. i broke the speed limit without mercy, the blessings of the state of california trailing behind me. headlights declining into the past. i got to the hospital as she was getting checked in. i called her parents and her husband, who had not yet arrived home yet. i got a badge and was allowed back to see her. she was normal now. pissed as all hell that this was happening to her. i waited with her. the doctor came and interviewed her, gave her the neurological panel. it became clear that she thought she was in the hospital because of the earlier siezure. the one that brought the crash. i filled them both in on the gran mal at the same time. she was amazed. the doctor rolled his eyes. he was a prick. he ordered a ct scan. he also recommended she go on anti-convulsants. something with a 'd' in front. sounds mean. she tells him that marijuana is her anti-convulsant. it works for her. it works well. he tells her that marijuana is absolutely not an anti-convulsant. he really was a prick. her husband got to the hospital. we waited and waited. she was discharged. we went back to their place. had a bong rip. i'm back here. having a beer. strange, strange day. |
the wife is prone to passing out....at times. her blood-sugar just drops (used to happen more when she was on the pill than now)Especially in the southern heat, her fair skin and poor diet (at times) makes her succeptable it seems. She describes how scary it is, to loose control like that. The worst happened at Six Flags in Atlanta...we were in the shade, in line, about to hop on the roller coaster when KERPLUNK!!!she collapses.....the guy next to me hands me his drink as I grab her and hold her up...big drmatic scene, get to ride off to the med center in one of those carts, needeless to say our day was over at Six Flags. But the one thing, that is hard to fathom is the sense of loosing control....I imagine right when your friend started her seizure...you mentioned she was "cursing under her breath" that was probably the point where she knew what was happening and knew she was about to loose control. And the utter sense of helplessness and frustration came out in those words. The only time i've felt that sense of loss of control was under the influence some serious god damn acid and some heavy X...(that might as well have been heroin, as I found out there was only psuedoehphedrine in it other than H) Even those times a corner of my mind, my consciousness was aware, but the rest of the body was unable to function. Mental straight jacket. I feel for your friend....the seizures seem absolutely terrifying. |
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