Stop barking in the house. I wish I were dead. Get off.

You are a ghost...from space! Be nice. Who likes to eat beans? Who is my littlest dude?

Shut Up!!!!! They will drive you to drink. I swear I clean this house! I want to read.

they're only voices. what are you, a fucking moron? hi kaya

what is that smell? did you do that? nate!!??!!

fer fucksake touch it m'ere meow meow

That's okay! Aw, crap.

Honey, where's my _______? Ah, fuck me up the ass, for chrissakes Stop it Get down Sit Get away Quit it Do you gotta pee? Who's a good doggie? Hi Jamesy-James. Who's Mr. Handsome? Hi Matthew. Who's Mr. Furball?

Look how cute I am! whatever. Shut your demon mouth! meh.

Fuck,shit,why

piggy, move. piggy, not now. piggy, FUCK! piggy, why did you do that? piggy, no! piggy, NOT RIGHT NOW. are you going to be a good kitty? fuck, is it really seven. no, e, not right now. oh, gross.

Good morning Beethoven. I didn't put in a maintenance call, my AC/light/fan/stove/fridge/toilet/sink works fine. Would you like a post-structuralist or materialist analysis of power with that?

oh. really. i need more memory. yeah, but you don't see what i eat at home. did someone make coffee? 344668 what now y'all?

Boo-Boo Kitty When is that story due? What time do you work until? Im still keeping my ears open Fuck (or any form of fuck) Cool Dinner is ready Wanna smoke one? I love you (to Nikola)

sketch(y) whats wrong with me? aye fuckit psycho dude sweet grr bleah um, yeah... why not? look at the mountains! luvly i'm gonna go do my calculus

sketch(y) whats wrong with me? aye fuckit psycho dude sweet grr bleah um, yeah... why not? look at the mountains! luvly i'm gonna go do my calculus

whoops, sorry (add that to the list). now i'm gonna go do my calc.

Hmmm, that's interesting. Explain to me again why you couldn't.... How do you account for..... You know, what doesn't make any sense to me is.... Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you God Thank you God THank you God full blown batshit crazy and still holding down a productive job!

Fuckit Guess how many... love you babe fergal? ferrrrrrggggggguuuuuuusss? no not now (replied to a meow from ferg)

I know someone who knows someone named Psycho. really. I don't know if that's the proper spelling, but that's how you pronounce it. the other day my friend and I were laughing at her name behind her back and I said "Haha! She's a telepathic prostitute!" I thought that was pretty funny.

She should live up to that name and kill the person that named her that.

Is it an ethnic name? We had a guy in high school from Cambodia whose name was Fuk.

yes, she's asian. I just met a guy named Fok. Also, a guy named Cok. and I'm sure I mentioned the girl at the school named Kitti Porn. and then there's that Frank guy. I mean, come on. Frank! pft.

Please tell me you made up Kitti Porn.

No, don't tell us you made up Kitti Porn. I sleep better at night knowing she's out there.

No, don't tell us you made up Kitti Porn. I sleep better at night knowing she's out there.

ha! www.engrish.com

oh my goodness Moonit, I love that page!

Hey, I'm not making this up -- I was just looking at a new contact record in our database, and the guy's last name is Knippel, and because of a typo, his record was called Brookfield Pubic Library. Tee hee!

I did not make up Kitti Porn. sorry and you're welcome.

My son is shacking up with a girl named Kristy Points that sounded porn like to me. What are some people thinking when they name their kids? Like that Texas govenor whose last name was Hogg and named his daughter Ima.

Things I say aloud ever day at least ten times: 5. You suck. 4. Fucko 3. I love you. 2. Good grief. 1. You are such a freak!

At AT&T we used to watch names of people for future comment. We had a girl in the office named Treasure Mountain. We thought it was a great name for a stripper. We also ran across a woman named Margarita Drinker. More things I say at least ten times a day...... Big girls go on the potty chair. Sit up and eat your food! Leave the cats alone! Go clean your room! I said Come In already!

:-)

Heres some more I thought of "What was I saying?" "Where did I put it?" "huh?" "that's not funny"

ERI: CALL APPLE ONE

ERI: CALL ORANGE TWO but seriously folks: fuck fuckity fuck fuck How do you spell _______ ? Let's go to Jack Astors! Get your hand outta there, mister! what smells?

There's a Jack Astors about 15 minutes away from me.

Things I say every day at work Fuckin' Brandon! It seems to me... I don't know what he's thinking. I'd feel better if we did it this way. ... cover our asses. I wish we had better data. I'm tired.

i am so fat. why can't i lose weight? what, am i a leper or something? mmmm brownies.

I hope you're talking about those little girl scouts.

nope. unfortunately not.

well then Anti, i command you go there and order the garlic loaf, (with or without cheese) just to experience the feeling of your heart telling you: "what the fuck are you trying to do to me?" it's fun! other things i say: the-bees-are-in-the-what-now? (you know, fast, like Homer: thebeesareinthewhatnow?) okee dokee

Whatta piecea shit... Just tell me what YOUR priorities are.... I gotta go digital.... That resource is committed...

quit whining antigone

goddamnpieceofshitcar