Job description decoder

sorabji.com: The Stalking Post: Job description decoder
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By patrick on Wednesday, October 23, 2002 - 04:32 pm:

    In this day and age of stale job markets, hiring freezes and skimpy budgets, i found this keen. As I've been scouring for better paying work these have come to mind.




    Interpreting Job Descriptions

    "Competitive Salary"
    - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

    "Join Our Fast Paced Company"
    - We have no time to train you.

    "Casual Work Atmosphere"
    - We don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up.

    "Must be Deadline Oriented"
    - You will be six months behind schedule on your first day.

    "Some Overtime Required"
    - Some time each night, some time each weekend.

    "Duties will Vary"
    - Anyone in the office can boss you around.

    "Must have an Eye for Detail"
    - We have no quality control.

    "Seeking Candidates with a Wide Variety of Experience"
    - You will need to replace three people who just left.

    "Problem Solving Skills a Must"
    - You are walking into a company in perpetual chaos. Haven't heard a word from anyone out there. Your first task is to find out what is going on.

    "Requires Team Leadership Skills"
    - You will have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect.

    "Good Communication Skills"
    - Management communicates poorly, so you have to figure out what they want and do it.

By Gee on Wednesday, October 30, 2002 - 10:05 am:

    did you make that up all by yourself?

    that was cute!

By Spider on Wednesday, October 30, 2002 - 10:21 am:

    Heh, they're not just cute, they're right.

    See, this is why I'm reluctant to leave my job. I just can't face looking for a new one and having to deal with all this nonsense again.

By patrick on Wednesday, October 30, 2002 - 11:11 am:

    yes gee. i made it up myself.

By The Watcher on Wednesday, October 30, 2002 - 06:02 pm:

    God.

    That sounds like every job I ever had.

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