Funniest Lawyer Joke Ever


sorabji.com: The Stalking Post: Funniest Lawyer Joke Ever
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By J on Friday, September 1, 2006 - 04:39 pm:

    A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along too close to the curb and completely tore off the driver's door.

    Fortunately, a cop in a police car was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the Lexus, his lights flashing.

    But, before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically about how his Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.

    After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how
    materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."

    "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

    The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"

    "OH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer. ............... "MY ROLEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


By J on Friday, September 1, 2006 - 08:41 pm:

    A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

    "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

    The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

    Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

    The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

    The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

    "or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

    The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

    On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"


    Feel free to add your lawyer jokes,it's so dead here today.


By jack on Friday, September 1, 2006 - 10:34 pm:


    what do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?


By dave. on Friday, September 1, 2006 - 10:42 pm:

    progress


By kazu on Friday, September 1, 2006 - 11:19 pm:

    a good start


By dave. on Friday, September 1, 2006 - 11:47 pm:

    yeah, according to google.

    cheater.


By N.b. on Saturday, September 2, 2006 - 12:01 am:

    you all should like this one:

    What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?

    A rooster clucks defiance.


By kazu on Saturday, September 2, 2006 - 12:43 am:

    No one who doesn't live in a whole in the ground needs to
    google that joke dave.

    dave.


By dave. on Saturday, September 2, 2006 - 01:59 am:

    blah blah kazu.

    kazu.






































    J


By kazu on Saturday, September 2, 2006 - 11:45 am:

    I like the way that "whole" in the ground looks even
    if it is wrong.


By sarah on Sunday, September 3, 2006 - 12:32 am:


    how many lawyers does it take it screw in a lightbulb?




By V on Tuesday, September 5, 2006 - 08:41 pm:

    ...with v,s own Lawyer,about 20,,,,,y,know, v has known Russel Caller since he was a young Jewish kid,v was one of his first clients,now he is worth $50 million,he hardly speaks to me on a one to one anymore,such a bastard..but still sort of nice.,and on them rare times I get him on the phone,he still says "v,long time no see,how the devil are you old chap?"


By J on Sunday, October 1, 2006 - 04:28 am:

    How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.


By V on Sunday, October 1, 2006 - 03:21 pm:

    :)


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