Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned round to see a big black bear. The black bear said "You've got two choices. I either maul you to death or we have sex." Frank decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it. There was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said "That was a huge mistake, Frank. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough sex." Again, Frank thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned round to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear said "Admit it, Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

how do you catch a polar bear? cut a hole in the ice and sprinkle a can of peas around it. when the bear comes along to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole. this has been a public service announcement.

Oh god. This is getting unbearable.

You're just going to have to grin and bear it.

maybe you should just smoke a big fat bear. or somethin'.

YEAHHH! SLACKER'S BACK! Kick him in the ice hole... Dontcha just love it?

send to me

so here i was, prepared to come in and say something snotty about such dodo bird thread, and there's sarah again, stirring the sexpot one way or another.

Whoa. I wonder why I didn't see this before. This joke was a running gag on "Homicide." You'd often see Lewis walk into a scene saying, "You didn't come here to hunt, did you?"

I wish I had "Homicide" on DVD. and "Farscape". and "Wonder Woman". and "Quantum Leap". and "The Incredible Hulk". I think that's all, for now. oh oh, and "Second Chances", and maybe "My Family". I think that's it.