I was wandering around delphi.com and I ended up in a little section about baby names. A lot of people were asking for advice. Usually, they would say things like, "what sounds better: Lauren Ann or Dawn Marie?" I was going to respond, but then I thought, well, they're not my parents, and maybe they'd get offended if I told them please, for the love of God, don't name your twins Amber and Autumn because that sounds like a couple of anemic runaways hiding out at the Jersey shore. What's wrong with people, anyway? Wouldn't you want your kid to have a neat name? When I was a senior in high school, I took Child Development, and we got to carry around an egg baby for a week. We got to name our eggs and everything. Four girls in my class, I swear to God, named theirs Danielle Nicole. The dullards. Mine was Evangeline Athena. Evangeline Athena Raskolnikov, as I was reading "Crime and Punishment" at the time. The point was, it was an egg, you could call it whatever the hell you wanted without worrying about the scars you would leave. Poppy Arabella Bluebird. Cedric Xavier Santiago, Jr. Aloysius Jeremiah the Merciful. But some people are so prosaic. What names do you like?

bing crosby stills nash and young fresh fellows. peter parker posey.

rhiannon is nice. somewhere in austin there is a piece a notebook paper on which my great-aunt maddie had written out the entire line of my mother's side of the family all the way back to 4 welsh brothers who arrived here in the 1760's. after one was hung as a tory after the revolution the other three split up and headed west. up until the 1930's, all the patriarchs had latin names like cornelius, augustus, septimus morgan (great-grandpa). none of my generation have spawned yet, but when we do i think we should bring back that tradition. Joao (~ over the a) Miles Cholomondely Chauncey Fritz Jepthah Ezekiel Faust Nero Akaky Akakyevitch Dave Bathsheba Ella Carmelita Faustina Moira Candida Eurydice Mehetabel Vita Brevis (named a character in a story this, once) Esme (with love and squalor) Kelsey

what about cleo?

and cleo. now that i think about it, if i ever had a male child i'd name him after a friend i had as a kid: murray craznov. and i would raise him as a jew. and madeleine - the first girl i was ever hospitalized for.

If any of you ever knew my real name, you'd understand why I think parents should not be over-origional, because I hate my real name. I get all kinds of funny looks and odd questions. Fuck. I hate my mother for naming me what she did.

shouldn't say that without telling. anyway- my dad wanted to name my sister fiona but my mom wouldn't let him. can you decide a child's name before you meet them or does it not matter?

Alright Heather. You asked for it. My real name, for anyone who cares to know it, is: Sparky Eskanazy Ferriera Whitehill Ybbarrolaza Kuznetsov Smith. Never, ever, ever, for the love of God, name your child something like that. It's just not fair.

Anne. I really like the name Anne. It has to be with an "e", though, or I don't like it as much.

Isoide,I feel your pain,my real name is Jeannette,but I,m from the south,you never are called your real name unless you got in trouble.I was in first grade before I got it,in role call they,d say Jeannette Johnson,I wouldn,t answer cause I thought my name was Janny Dare,they never called toilets by that name either,they called it a commode.

Cameron and I have named our children in advance, because we'd each had an important dream about being parents and the dream named the child in it. His is a boy name, mine is non-gender specific. I'm not telling.

At least you have agreeded about a name and you aren,t even married yet.Poor Ryan was over a month old before we could agree on a name for him.

Isolade, is your dad Richard Brautigan, you live in the vicinity and the name, well, jesus....my mom named me when she saw me. i think thats appropriate. she said my green eyes were bursting out of the womb....well she didn't say that, but I imagine they were, patrick, green eyes, luck of the irish, isabella, karenina, orson, alex, anais, ivan, william, annabelle karena, i admit to liking russian french female names as well, anastasia, natasha anna, i like names that start with vowels too, no rhyme or reason,

calvin malik. tana michele. kamal. sojourner. siva anikulapo kuti, destroyer of souls. creator of worlds.

okay here it is.... Nicolas (if i ever learn to spell it.) i love this name. i always have. it is elegant and can be shortened perfectly. Nick. and still has an air about it. Patrick another favorite. mostly because it is one of those names that you think not many people have. my ex roomate's name is Patrick, but we of course call him PJ. which brings me to the next name. James i don't know why, i just think it is one of those names that is long yet short and elegant. as for girls. Mai (asian in decent) and Matilde, i heard a story on NPR of a woman mourning the loss of her daughter she had named the same name. and she described it as being filled with aquatic vowels. it was also a touching story. and of course Kymberli Ann but only if they have me on the juice when i am delivering. if i ever deliver. i am kind of like against having children. i don't think a child could handle having me as a mother. and on top of the fact that my child would probably be milano, until the world gets it's act together i ain't havin' babies!

milano? do you mean "mulatto" or are you trying to say your child will probably be born in italy? let me off at the next stop.

it's interesting. the etymology for the word "mulatto" traces back to "mulo"; spanish for "mule". so would you be the donkey or the horse?

i really like the name calvin, too. here are some boy names: geary kade oliver owen (ruined by party of five) hiro rex here are some girl names: esme (love that name) ruth inez hazel maude iris i dig the old fashioned names.

my sister's name is "hazel" "hazel-mae denise" she hates it. everyone calls her "Haze" for short. which is pretty damn appropriate, because she is one.

i forgot two: mercia agatha

I like old fashioned names too. I don't think I want to deal with children. I had a hard enough time naming the cats. I think, however, that it's a good idea to discuss naming possibilities before birth, even if the names you discuss aren't chosen. I refuse to believe that I "spoke to my mother" begging her to call me what she did. Uh uh. No way. I was a drug free baby.

A lot of the girls I go to school with have old-fashioned names. I know a Lucy, Grace, Charlotte, Sophie, Emma, Hope, Laurel, Isabel...I like those names.

Wow. Hope. I'm not sure I could handle Hope. I know a Lucille, a Kaitlin, a lot of Sarahs, A couple Daniels, and a few Charlottes. But most people up here have odd names, so I kind of blend in. Uh, kind of. But I think old names are nice--they ring well and are generally easy to spell. Prudence and Penelope are two I'm rather fond of. But I would never name a child either. I just like hearing them said.

are ther a lot of "debutauntes" at your school rhi? Nico went to an all girls school, she said it was rather sick, the old world types that is and i suspect there were alot of girls with names liek you mention. When I told Angry Sam's brother where you go to school (being from Reading, he is aware) he asked if you were a lesbian. I said I didn't think so, and i asked why...he looked at me funny and reminded me it was an all girls school. But he was a frat boy at Pit so what does that tell ya.

When I took my statistics class, we surveyed about 360 girls (out of 1200 undergrads total) and asked them all sorts of things. The surveys were anonymous, and we trust the data. According to the survey, 15% of the population is homo- or bisexual. That's higher than your average college, but a far cry from 100%. He's from Reading, huh? I don't know about old-world types here. I'm sure there are...we *are* on the Main Line, after all. But there are an awful lot of, ummm, riot-grrrl/ sporty girls/ pseudo-hippies/ future business women around too. We're a pretty diverse lot.

first names from people I went to school with, that I've never encountered since. Girls: Coyle Jacque (she changed it from Jackie) Randi Eulalia Boys: Herschel Kent Skip Names out of the phone book that I've never met one of: Snotie Otha Nelma Blaze Dodie Ozias Fisher Mayhew Symphony Oke Toppie Igolia Tip Wormy Tschnadia Tripper Smellie Names i would never use on a child because of their associations Frank Gilbert Oscar Ralph Dottie Olin Debbie Melody Minnie Names that would be o.k. to name a child: Sam Alonzo Herbert Grady Grace Molly Ellender

You think you've got some wierd ones. Try opening up a Mendocino County phone book. Half the entries are one name--like Rain, Light, Rainbow, Rhiannon, Tree, Flower, Butterfly...a quarter of the names look like mine--they take up two lines to write out, and then there are a few that're normal. I used to love reading the phone book for fun, especially up here. Some of the one-name types are interesting--I used to have serious name envy and wish I had only one name. Nice, simple, easy to say and fill out...Of course, the problem with all of these people is that they're constantly _changing_ they're names. You'd think they'd be happy with one, but apparently they have a "revelation" every month or so and can afford to legally change their names. Um...anyway. I'll, uh, quit raving about names now.

ignacio "iggy" telzroy. guy i used to know.

hey sparky. old fashioned- relatives of mine: viola orthela nathella where do you get a name like orthela? sounds like weed-killer

Orthela? Wow. It does sound like weedkiller, doesn't it...oh well. At least they didn't go all out and call hr Round-Up. My mother's family all have ordinary names--Barbara, Mary, Charlotte, Theresa, Paul, George, Charles, Andrew...Constance...Guess I'm just the odd one out. And Nathalle? Feminine version of Nathaniel? This one really intrigues me.

My dad was the 7th son out of 8 son,s some of his brothers were named Fletch,and Reeves,my dad,s real name was Roger but everyone called him Tom,like Tom Thumb,that is what I was talking about before,he was a preemie,I didn,t even weigh 6 pounds before I was born...but once we hit air we aren,t tiny.

I think it would be interesting to name a baby after an object or a place. something really weird, like Calender or Israel. I heard once that there are no illigal names in Canada. Does anyone know if there are any illigal names in the states?

tourniquet xiola. i just love the sound of that.

cop killer child molester rapist. chicken fucker. shit sandwich. i don't think you'd be allowed to get those names printed on a birth certificate. some laws make sense.

Nelly: I have an uncle named Kent. (Kent is my great-grandmother's maiden name.)

i know a herschel crump. auto mechanic. at a little bar i used to hang out in there was a mortician named tripp. first name.

Can you fuck a chicken?

where there's a will there's a way

I have a freind whose actual given name is Dove Spirit Foster Dewey. Yes, he's a guy. Yes, his parents were hippies who lived in a tent.

I don,t know him but my husband works for a power company and he brought home a complaint form from a customer named Seymore Weiner,he also had a uncle named Looney Ball.

Who had the uncle Looney? Your s/o or Mr. Weiner?

s/o

no, no, no....SWINE! my child would be a pepperidge farm cookie. people love those cookies so much, they would steal my baby (which would be like a 2 foot long cookie) and try to eat him or her. i have seen those comercials, those murderers. eating all of those innocent children, savoring it and buying them selling them. how could i let my child get mixed up in a world like this? millano crispy wafer cookie with dark chocolate filling. my delisious baby never seeing it's first birthday. (sniffle)

hell, i'd eat your baby even if it wasn't a pepperidge farm product.

how about Bordeaux? or even the full name: Distinctive Bordeaux Distinctive Bordeaux Williams Distinctive Bordeaux Klein Distinctive Bordeaux Rassmussen it has a ring those are my favorites Pepperidge Farms. Of the Distinctive series.

Distinctive... ahh yes. i think it would be nifty to name your kid distictive something something. then it is like royalty. but just treat it like the whole Sir thing that way the kids don't make fun of them. Swine, i don't think i like your tone. don't you eat my baby! (small austrailian man pops up.) dingo ate your baby!

We used to wonder what it would be like to name your child Dammit. (High School, folks, bear with me...) "Dammit, go wash the dishes...." We had a little too much fun with that one. What about those cookies with the chocolate and pecans on top? Those're the best.

Hey Isolde...didn't Bill Cosby do a routine about that? "Dammit, get in here!" "I'm not dammit, I'm Jesus Christ." In high school, I knew this guy Brek Dahl, who said he was going to name his kids Barbie and Ken. And Inflatable Fuck....

my husband's proposed names for offspring: nebudchanezzar cadwallader bob wenceslas leroy jehosaphat (female) hermann goering (female) rudyard kipling bob tweek erasmus vincent (female) christ the king (female, middle name) when i was a kid, i decided that i liked the name "seraphina". one day, my mother asked me what i'd like to name my children. i mentioned seraphina, as a girl's name. mom slapped me upside the head. she said it was for even THINKING about naming one of her grandchildren that name. "what a horrid name!" she yelled at me. "it sounds like a damn laxative!" i kept future name choices secret. names that actually occur in the family: euphrasinia eudoxia swanhilda columbusina lech shadrach zerelda flossy

OK, since you all shared your freakiness so openly and unrelentingly, I will tell you the name that _I_ dreamed (Cameron's is his own) that my child WILL be named: Godzilla St. Thomas Aquinas Bailey And then his/her father's last name.

Leave out the Godzilla,oh no there goes Tokyo,see what I mean?None of my friends ever knew my family called me Janny Dare till my grandparents came out one year and a girlfriend heard them call me that,the bitch told everyone at school,then again if I knew Ryan was going to turn out like he is I would have named him Jethro,can,t wait till it gets warmer and I can go swimming in the cement pond.

won't you come home godzilla st. thomas aquinas bailey, won't you come home - i moan the whole night long. i'll do the cookin' baby, i'll even pay the rent: i know i done you wrong....

I like Chloe as a girl name.

J, I would just like to say that I think "Jeannette" is a great name. Pepsi is a good name. Actually, there was someone somewhere named Pepsi, wasn't there? Who was that? Some fictional character. Who was that???

Maybe you're thinking of Soda Pop from "the Outsiders"?

thats the implant behind your left ear lobe, courtesy of the Coca Cola Corporation aka the evil red empire. (insert Darth Vader theme song)

No, Pepsi the fictional character was either a girl or a dog. I wish I could remember who it was. I think from a book.

also. I may have said this before, but if I'd been born a boy my name would have been Luke. does anyone know what their name would have been if they'd been another sex?

Eleptherios Valentinos...Smith

Mum says my name would of been Lisa but she changed her mind at the last minute. She jokes and says I would of been called Cecil if I was a boy - actually thats the name she used pre-birth for me. She would of called me Michael if I was a boy. I had a pregnancy scare when I was with Darcy and we decided that we would call the baby if it was a girl (um and existed) Taylor Rose (his mums name is Rosanna). But now i dont know. Me and grumpy couldnt decide what to name the cat - and shes now called Troll so prehaps this is a good reason not to breed.

ian, my name would be ian

My mom says she always knew I'd be a girl so she never thought of boys' names. But I was almost Julia. My dad wanted to call me, I swear to God, Louisa, his ex-girlfriend's name. I told you he was a strange man.

If I ever decide to have children, I'm posative...POSATIVE...that my first will be a girl. I have no doubt of this. I have her name picked out too, I chose it when I was in middle school and I've never told Anyone what it was. I don't know what I'd name a boy, but I do know that I want his middle name to be the same as his father's first name. Have I said all this before? Oh, and I remembered who Pepsi was, I think. I think she's from "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon" by Stephen King. She was never actually In the book, but she was mentioned as being the Friend of the girl who loved Tom Gordon. GO ME!

my name is another girl he really likes in a complicated way. as in: "some girl slipped me her phone number as she was leaving and i was talking to this ... guy ...; i told him to hold that thought and ran out into the street after her to say thank you and no, i'm sorry, i'll probably never call you because i have a girlfriend and there's another girl i really like in a complicated way"

man, Cyst, that situation is really screwed up. He hasn't made a move on you, has he? Even if he hasn't, it FEELS like he's cheating on his girlfriend. emotionally.

I haven't seen him since we hugged. that's all we've ever done. "i wanted you to unbutton your coat so i could put my put my hands on your back and feel whatever warmth the cold night might've left in your body. i thought i was going to crush you, and i sort of wanted to crush you. ... i wanted to hold you. i felt your cheek brush against mine for the briefest of seconds. when you said i was strong i wanted to show you how strong i was. it was monumental. i said your name aloud dozens of times on the drive home, chewing on every letter." I got really stoned last night and went to the movies. I was so stoned I couldn't watch the film ("the ninth gate"). instead I just closed my eyes and listened to the music and thought about how bad things are going to turn out for me.