She's not here again this year. Always the same story. Too busy. Got things to do, places to be. All of them more important than being a mother. I wouldn't mind her non-maternal streak if it didn't only occur when she was otherwise occupied. Without really trying she really knows how to inflict the guilt and self-doubt that only a mother can. The "do you have a hairbrush", "aren't people ironing their jeans these days", "I thought we asked you for dinner" kind of thing. But she is my mother. And I remember the day she came and picked me up from school and took me out and bought me a pink suit. We had milkshakes and she told me she always thought of me whenever she saw a blonde girl with her hair in a bun. I liked that. I've tried everything I know not to be like her. She doesn't cook, I do. She hates the country, I live there. She doesn't drink, I do. She doesn't hug, I do. All so that one day, I won't have to tell my daughter I remember her by her hairstyle. So how's your Mum, Mom, Madre, Maternal Unit?

When I was born, my mother chose to go back to work, so my Nana moved in with us and raised me. Mum jokes that she was Dad and Nana was Mum. My Nana died on Tuesday. We had the funeral yesterday. There were over 140 people there. I cried my eyes out. Then I got drunk with the family. We never really tell each other in this family how we feel. We don't hug much. Today Mum and I went shopping for a Mothers Day present for her. When I got in the car she handed me a card that her sister had written for her - it was about how we need to tell each other that we love each other more and how we need to hug. This is my May 13th (Mothers Day) resolution.

I didn't start telling my mother "i love her" until the last year or two. I've hurt my mother tremendously. She's hurt me as well. There is healing to be done, but it seems well underway. I really hate these holidays, Mothers Day, Fathers Day etc etc. they just present something else to screw up. I don't like being cornered to call or mail an appreciation. I prefer it to be mine, initiated by me, and not a designated day. How trite does it seem to call you mom on mother day when everything is reminding you to just that. "Hi Mom, Im calling you because I couldnt HELP but not think of you, with all the talk of it being mothersday." My mom knows Im horrible about birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. Im not sure she knows exactly why. Someone I know is presenting more and more evidence of wanting to be a mother. The once subtle is not so subtle anymore. The cats asked me to pick up flowers for their mum. I did.

It hurts when you don't get anything for mothers day and then your friends all tell you what they got,I use to lie and say I got something even though I didn't,now I do.

next time you get something for you kids, not matter what day it may, go ask your friends what they got that day from theri kids. yesterday was no different than any other sunday J.

For me it was.

hallmark is no reason not to call your mom on mother's day.

i sent a card and a gift certifcate for the nail salon.

I did not call my Mama and I did not go see her. It is not cause I am a bad son it is cause it would go the same as it always goes she will tell me to fuck off. She says I am not her concern. It hurts like hell some times. When I got adopted she tells me that I can not hug her not even now dont touch her dont look at her or she will whip my ass NOT that Pilate would let that hapen. I feel stuff about her that you can not put on a damn greeting card. I wish she would love me but she does not and nevar did I feel big rage and hurt with her but, she did let Pilate and Trace take me and I thank God for that all the time. She got problams and I think she may be insane. Every Mothers Day she ends up beaten the shit out of the kids the gifts are not as good as she likes. No gift from me. Not this year and not ever again. I could say so many things I feel anger a lot with her but maybe she just can not be helped at all. My gift some days would be a fist upside her fucking head and other days I want her to hold me for a long time but that will not hapen she always says I am the most useless kid. I give Mothers Day gifts to Crimson and my parents tho they are men and not Moms. And a flower for my boyfriends Mom cause she has been real nice to me. I hate Mothers Day it is a real hard day for me every year.

My mom is a miserable woman who was very abusive of me,but I still got her a card and some flowers and took her out to eat.It's a sad fact that some woman have kids but they aren't mother material.I'm thinking of Pumkin and Alecias"mother".

you guys suck. you would all feel differently if you were mothers, i guarantee it. j, i'm sorry.

I did not turn my back on my mother she turned her back on me. I tried real hard I swear but nothing I did ever work out with her some people will not be happy no mater what you do for them. I wanted to be good for her but you get wore out some times. You try so hard it makes you sick inside.

Coming from a pretty bad situation...I understand both sides of this. I understand how much it hurts to be a kid that your mother doesn't care about..and at the same time, there's that unconditional love that you get past regardless. My mom wasn't ready to have me when she had me, and that created a LOT of stress growing up. Our relationship still suffers badly to this day. There's been Mother's Days when I haven't called her, haven't sent a card, haven't done a damn thing. I understand it Oswald. It's harsh, but sometimes having that anger is the best way we know how to react...some people have kids and don't really know what to do with them.. As I've gotten older, I've realized that nothing is ever going to change my mom's perspective..so it's either me changing or no relationship at all. As much anger as there is/was, I don't think I can bear knowing that someday this woman is going to die and not knowing I've done my damn best to have a relationship with her and love her. So, I'm learning forgiveness. I'm learning to let the things go that hurt and look to the things that don't hurt. We've lived in seperate states since I was twelve and yet, I make an effort to call her on a regular basis. (Once a week or so.) I'd never live anywhere near her (that's too much) but doing this slow..it's the best (I know this) that I can do. Yes, it hurts..yes, knowing that you aren't exactly liked by the person who carried you in her womb for nine months, it hurts like fuck...but at the same time, you can't change her..so you change yourself..and when the day comes that she's not around anymore..you know you've done your damn best, and you know, regardless of all the bullshit, that you love her. I love my mom. It's taken me years to be able to say that and mean it...and to know I mean it... but I do. And although there's still a shitload of things for me to work through, things that will be there for the rest of my life, that have shaped who I am.... sometimes... late at night.. or early in the morning even.. I miss her. I miss my mom.

If it wasn't for my Mom i'd be dead or in the looney bin right now. I was a pretty fucked up kid----I suffered from a low-level form of Autism and back in the day there was no middle ground....either you were autistic or you weren't. She knew something was wrong and she tried her damndest to take care of me....she tried to get me brought in for psychiatric testing....my Dad went and canceled the testing behind her back. He took the whole tack of "All that boy needs is Discipline." Like I said----if my Mom hadn't put her foot down....I probably wouldn't be here today. Consequently (or maybe not so) my relationship w/my Dad isn't what it should be....and it probably won't ever be, regardless of what he may wish....but me & my Mom will always have a special bond.... My sister out in North Carolina is begging me, right now, to come out there for the holidays...she says Mom & I are her "Soul Mates"----she wants very much to be able to hang out with us, drink coffee and talk 'til the wee hours... Be nice if it could happen...we'll see, I guess.

not you, oswald. you don't suck. i understand if you never celebrate mother's day. patrick and cyst suck. just in this thread, though.

why does cyst suck in this thread? patrick, sure, but not cyst. get your eyes checked, woman.

I do love my mother but she does not love me she does not love any of us kids. I got depress about it and call up my half sister and she was real good to me. Theres a big hurt in side of me that feels like it will nevar be ok again but, I cant go around feeling bad all the time. So I gotta make my split from my other family for ever (tho there are 2 I still talk to) the others will not ever love me and I have to just say thats ok and move on with life. At least I got my half sister and my kid bro they are the best but you know they did not get any thing for Mothers Day for our Mamma. My little bro had a real good Mothers Day with his new Mamma I am glad. He draws a pic for her and gets a little old half dead flower at walmart and she dont act like a bitch about it. She makes like its the best gift she ever got in her life and Nicky was happy all day long and very proud of his big gift. Now thats a Mom.

i think you read cyst wrong. and i don't suck....my mom was tickled to death with her card and nail salon gift certificate..and called to tell me so last night. she doesn't need a phone call, card and flowers...just something. to knwo we thoughbt of her. i just think you should keep the holiday in persepctive and not get all nutty about it....i said it in conjunction with admitting i remembered my mom. i remembered my mom. i remembered my mom. both moms fuck i even got flowers for nico "from the Isabella and Karenin (cats)" and you are going to tell me i suck? and shit dave, like you have room to talk about sucking boy. sit down.

if i were in your shoes oswald...i wouldn't acknowledeg my mother either. she doesnt deserve your recognition.

Amen to that. As far as I'm concerned, the more permanent and immediate Oswald can make the break, the better. That woman is fucking toxic. She treated her children worse than animals. However, Oswald's a very good and thoughtful kid. He tends to love people even after they've abused him and pushed him to the limit. He occasionally doesn't even fully understand when he's being abused (which made him such a wonderful target when he was a street kid). He's absolutely aching for parental love and my partner and I give him plenty of that. But we are not Mom. We're two loving fathers, but it seems at moments that there's no substitute for the love of a mother. My mother didn't give a shit about me, either. She often told me that she should've aborted me when she had the chance. There was never any warmth between us. My mother's contempt for me was pretty much a matter of public record. She told me not to bother with Mother's Day gifts when I was a child because it would just remind her that I was her son and she'd rather not dwell on the fact any longer than she had to.

yeah, I think agatha misread me. it's ok. I spent the day with my mom a week before mother's day. we stayed out in the sun then went to the gym together. she'd been asking me about ikea, so I brought her the catalog and told her she could choose anything and I would go get it for her. but instead we decided I'd pay for a night at a nice hotel she's going to in england this fall. and on sunday I called her and wished her a happy mother's day even though it's a manufactured holiday. because hallmark is no reason not to call your mom on mother's day.

i don't even know if my mother's living or dead. as the years roll on w/o any contact from her, i'm starting to care less & less. haven't wished her a happy mother's day since i was about 6.

i spent 5 hours in the car to spend mother's day with my mom. not that that's a big deal, i do it every 4-6 weeks anyway. we had breakfast on mother's day, and then went to where my grandmothers have been deposited. my mom scrubbed her mother's headstone. then we drove to point bonita, in the marin headlands, to look at the ocean where my dad's mother was scattered. i gave my mom a small painting i did, and a vase made by a local (to me) artist. it is from the same run of another vase i gave her a while back, when she finished my wardrobe for me. my dad had a bunch of giant white mums from their yard in the vase seconds after she figured out where she wanted it. my mom is an amazing woman. we had our share of typical problems through my adolesence, but all in all i don't believe i could have been raised in a more caring, loving family. she is one to worry, but she sucked it up again and again to make sure i had all the freedom that her trust in me dictated i deserved. she worried to the point where she wouldn't sleep until i came bumbling home, sometimes at dawn. how guilty i feel about that now. hmm.

my mother is beautiful, remarkable, fearless, self-sacrificing, taken advantage of-knows it-doesn't care. has been convinced that she is not the intelligent person that she actually is. she is not treated well enough. has never been treated well enough, not even by me.

I took my mom out drinking last wednesday because she was going back home on thursday and I wouldn't get to see her for mothersday or her birthday which is today. She had more fun then I think she's ever had... She was the life of the party with all of the people I hang out with on a normal basis... Just think a 50 year old woman, who made better friends at my bar in 20 minutes then I did in 6 months... Kinda depressing and yet in the same right, I'm glad I got to show my mom a good time for her mothersday/birthday gift.

Being a mom is hard.

Yea,it's hard to sleep at night when you have to worry that they'll kill you in your sleep for your credit cards.( "I firmly believe that kids don't want your understanding.They want your trust,your compassion,your blinding love and your car keys,but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble") Erma Bombeck.

That is so true.

sometimes i love my mom so much. other times she makes me angry. last night she was telling me about how i believe people too much. "why mom, is it wrong?" i can see segments of dreams so close...but when the time comes will i be able to move on? i gave her a mum in a nice green "soup bowl" pot.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, shit. none of you suck. i take it back. apologies all round. dave even got me a present this year and made me breakfast in bed. i think y'all got to him. good work.

I just called my mom on Mother's Day. I had forgotten the holiday fell on this past Sunday. My gift to her was letting her have my ear for an hour without interrupting her once. Pug, did/do you have Asperger's Syndrome? Have trouble interpreting social cues and such?

hey, yeah, on mother's day I also called a divorced friend of mine with an infant and a toddler and wished her a happy mother's day as well. we talked for over an hour, and she told me some of her fantastic schemes, and I told her how glad I was that we were friends. that's how much I don't suck. this weather sucks.

"He who does not have trust in others should not himself be trusted." -Lao Tzu

"He who goes to bed with itchy ass wake up with stinking fingers." -Confucious

fuck off hal. jesus christ, a man gets a little serious and what is the response? blah blah blah itchy ass blah blah stinky fingers. motherhell.

God I'm glad I'm me.

damn these people today have no respect.

"He who does not have respect for others respect should not himself be respected." -Cato Miaow

ASSSEX. ASSSEX. ASSSEX. swirlie. felch. ASSSEX. anallovemuffin. asscracksandwich. landolumpylovemachines. ASSSEX. monkeyfuckermoneyfuckerfuckerfucker. ASSSEX. i'm not to tired to be a hero. AN ANAL HERO. ASSSEX. i'm not your mother. your mother never put a cock in your ass. ASSSEX. i'm not your father. i'm not your brother. i'm not your friend. ASSSEX. i serve one purpose. i was built from meat and machines. ASSSEX. i am the king. the king of your rectum. i plumb your final steps. ASSSEX. ASSSEX. ASSSEX.

"Man who fart in Church must sit in his own Pew." ---Confucius

"Asperger's Syndrome"? Never heard of it---- But yeah----I've always had trouble interpreting social cues....I've had lots of friends who've said that Home Schooling is a suck deal because kids don't learn Social Skills....I tell them, whoopie shit. I went to Public Schools my entire life and I NEVER developed Social Skills. Whatever.....as a kid, that was just the tip of the iceberg for me. When you're hanging out on the sidewalk talking w/some kids and then you see this jet plane vapor trail in the sky and you respond by running for your house screaming in terror----well, y'know.....social graces are a long way off...

"landolumpylovemachines"? UnfortuNATEly,I can't get this out of my mind.

Asperger's Syndrome Pug, do or did you meet any of those criteria? My boss' son has it. When I met him, he seemed like a normal kid, except I noticed he didn't look at me when I talked to him (he looked at his dad, though) and he knew all the states and their capitols. He's 5. He also is obsessed with taking the CDs in his family's collection and writing down the track numbers and their lengths (in min:sec) in a notebook -- that's a good example of a fixation.

i'm an asperger.

actually, i think the correct spelling is "asspurger" whatever.

Stop that.

oh please. what do you expect from me?

Oh I don't know... Dinner, a movie, possibly a night cap at your place... And for you to remember my name in the morning, while your making me breakfast.

i make great breakfasts.

i bet you say that to all the girls. also, "i'm a woman trapped in a man's body." that's really my favorite.

What if it's a girl who says that? Or is that just weird?

how could a girl be a woman trapped in a man's body? i don't really say that to anyone. i didn't realize it was a pickup line.

It could happen.

explain how a girl could have a man's body. er. wait. i guess she doesn't exactly have to have a man's body. just be trapped in one. that's fucking nasty, spider.

Ever seen a female Russian weight-lifter?

seen one? shit, i want to *be* one of those girls.

man, i never make eye contact with people when i talk to them, not even my s.o. or parents. but what were we talking about? oh yeah. I started thinking today that i might go my whole life never having anyone wish me a happy mother's day. And that makes me DAMN smiley. My mom is the best. She always let me do whatever i wanted. Draw on my walls. Stay up till dawn with her all through childhood. She never disciplined me, she never had to. The thought of upsetting her or dissapointing her or bringing her any pain at all was enough to keep me well behaved my whole life. My mom is cool. She let our house become a haven for me and my sister's homeless friends when we were in highschool. My parents would bring them all out to dinner with us. Some of them still go back to our house if they need a warm meal or a hug from.....mom. My mom. And she loves them all. Mother's day caused me to ask: "mom, does it ever make you sad thinking that, in all likelyhood, you will never have grandchildren?" she said- "well, ever since you asked me how much it would cost to get a historectomy or your tubes tied... ..for your birthday.... ..when you were 9 years old.... ..i've gotten used to it." she says it's a shame, that i would be a wonderful mother. Of course i would, I learned from her

my folks are finally getting used to the idea that i'm not giving them any grandkids. i informed them that i was childfree (childless by choice) many, many years ago...but they kept telling me i'd change my mind. right-o. now biology has stepped in to help (i'm too old to have kids now...at least w/o courting medical disaster). anyway, i think the choice to remain childfree has been the most important decision of my entire life. it shapes everything i've done...my lifestyle, my ambitions, everything. my siblings have popped out enough kids to repopulate the south. of course, the folks think that i've just GOT to have one of my own. i can't even imagine it. i've never thought about the mother's day thing in relation to ME. i mean, like imagining some kid wishing me a happy mother's day. it's just absurd.

as tempting as it would be to unleash wave after wave of green-haired anarchist vegan 5 year olds unto the earth, i still can't bring myself to spawn. I bet those kids would make some damn cool macaroni and sparkle-glue mother's day cards, too. damn you mom, i still want that birthday tubal. Maybe next year.

there were several years in my late teens and early 20s when i wanted to ask my mom and dad, "just what the fuck were you thinking?!" i actually still think that but i don't have as much time these days to dwell on it. then i think about my daughter and sometimes i'm overcome with guilt. i love her more than everything but will that be enough to keep her from someday directing that question at me? will i have an appropriate answer? the worst day of my life will be the day she realizes that i'm not this sort of superhuman, uppercase DAD but, in fact, just a mediocre, visionless, plain text dad. oh, we were talking about moms. carry on.

Still ploughing through the Asperger's Links.... I'm assuming this was at least partially my problem as a kid----I need to read more, tho---- I haven't ruled out the possibility of ever becoming a father----I just can't see it happening right now----and I'm pushing 40.....hell. Maybe I'll be like Tony Randall and just pop out kids when I'm 70 (if my rock'n'roll lifestyle hasn't decimated my sperm count by then) (or decimated ME)(One can only hope)...right now I'm just way too selfish about my personal time & freedom....so it's not like I'm really conducive to parenthood....

Cleo's got about 6 more years to go, dave. don't do anything to make it happen before that.

"unleash green-haired anarchist vegan 5 year olds onto the earth" wtf? I was thinking of unleashing meat-eating, bible-thumpin, clean-cut, suit-wearing totalitarians on the earth. maybe we could arrange a playdate

rhiannon. email me.

Speaking of emailing, Antigone is stuck in Redneckville with limited net access so he can't come and play on the boards. Drop him a line, I'm sure he'd like to hear from you.

He also asks me to add that he's missing his live-action porn and would appreciate any and all flesh shots. Big bouncy man-tit shots especially.

All this mom talk reminds me I need to check out airline prices today. I am homesick and glad that I have an excuse to go home before the holidays and actually see the homeland in summer, which I feel is going to become a rare treat for me. I called my mom on Mother's day, but she wasn't home. She called me on my birthday though. My family is always a little akward with gifts. We have such divergent tastes from each other that it's hard to pick anything out. I think we're getting to the point that we don't need to give each other anything to reinforce how we feel about each other. Every now and again one of my parents mentions the grandkids thing. Part of me would be down with giving them that, but my social dysfunction with women would seem to preclude that ever happening. Maybe I could give them someone else's grandkids.

hey Cat, start a thread, and just cut and paste and email the boy daily..... I'd do it myself, but my threads always seem to die a young death and you're so bossy about whats what around here...i'll let you do it.

Sorry, Patrick, I'll try to be more subservient and demure and placid and sweet and adoring, because I am just a woman and when Nate or Dave or Antigone express their opinion strongly that's a good thing, but it's so unbecoming on a female.... Nah, on second thoughts...EAT MY BOSSY ASS.

im sorry did i say that i didn't LIKE it when you were bossy or does that fact that you are bossy get you all worked up on its own? i was being quite serious, as my threads consistantly go nowhere...so I just cant take the rejection anymore.

jesus christ. what is all this rejection crap?

{sometimes rejection can be beneficial,its like a free ass-fucking}

Since when is a free ass-fucking Rejection? Ass-fucking, shrimping, blowjobs, I'M THERE!!!!!!! I like assertive women.....I like it when their assertive pussies salivate over my meat.....

uh shrimping?

maybe i should have put "rejection" in quotations...yeah like that.

Shrimping = toe sucking. Foot fetishism by any other name.

wierd.

I would never get a shrimping. My toes are the World's ugliest, they're wizened-up little hunchbacks.

I wonder if that term stems from a crustacean like odor?

you all know that my rejection thing was a funny, right? just checking.