I was checking out the University of Pennsylvania's MSW program today on their website. 1) Applications aren't due till 3/15 2) All they require is a bachelor's plus experience (no GREs) 3) They offer a certification program in Catholic social services 4) Both my parents are alumni (of Penn, not the MSW program) 5) They offer good financial aid 6) My oncologist uncle (whose practice includes a social worker for counseling his patients) offered to let me stay with him in Salt Lake City next year and work for him. 7) It's the health/behavioral health division of social work that interests me, so the experience in my uncle's clinic would be great. 8) Even if I don't go to Salt Lake, I can find experience around here. I just have to go to the Career Development office at school and ask for their advice. Things are looking up! Every single night since Dec. 17, I've dreamt about school. Last night I dreamt that I had to write a paper for my dev. cog. psych. class in which I analyzed this short story for signs of pathology and I was trying to finish the paper in class the day it was due. It was awful. Then I had this very strange dream. I had this big Rottweiler, who hated me, and I had to ride him like a horse for some reason. I had to hold onto his head very tightly, because he kept trying to bite me whenever my hold slackened. The weird part was that we had a human understanding between us. We understood each other's thoughts and motives. Then we came upon this Doberman. The Doberman knew that my dog would go crazy if he saw any kind of guts or entrails, and the Doberman wanted to get me, so the Doberman laid a trap, and when I brushed against this haystack, all these intestines spilled out. But my dog knew what the Doberman was up to, so instead of attacking me he attacked the Doberman. Through the course of the fight, the Rottweiler and I were tossed into a lake. I got out okay, but then I saw my dog was drowning. I pulled him out of the water and I realized he had tried to save me from the Doberman, and then I realized that my dog didn't hate me after all. I woke up before I could revive him. It was strange.

In other words, you can see that nothing has changed because of the millenium. I was kind of hoping that the world would end last night so that I wouldn't have to think about any of this or even exist any more, but alas. No Rapture yet.

I was sort of hoping the world would end too. it would have saved me a lot of grief. today I went to the house of louie and cried over dim sum.

i should be so lucky as to have had your life, cyst.

Wouldn't really want to change the things I've done. Just think maybe I'd like to go in a more productive direction with what I have left of this life. The 60's/70's have finally started to dim.

Cheer up, guys. My brother says the world will be destroyed on march 5th, so there's hope yet. What's MSW, by the way?

master's of social work.

No, no its JULY 5th. Rhiannon, if you do go to SLC - Watch out! It's really really weird there. However, my friends Glade and Davina live there. If you go, I try to get you in touch with them, they're as cool a couple as you'd care to meet, and Glade knows the whole music scene out there. I vouch for him. You can visit him here. If and when I make you another tape, i'll put some of his music on it. Kinda like a gentler PW Long, in a way. Good luck whatever you decide. My mom has a MSW and a Ph.D in it as well, from Case Western Reserve.

yeah my wife says salt lake is kinda creepy. she goes twice a year for the Outdoor Retailers Convention, part of her job is designing and merchandising polar tec and polar fleece garments, anyway, ever noticed when you watch, say a basketball game in salt lake, look at the audience, all blond hair and blue-eyed folk........ why salt lake spider?

Well, that's where my uncle lives. I've been there many times before, and it *is* creepy, and I've had the "oh look, I'm the only brunette in this entire store" experience myself, but it didn't bother me all that much. I might feel differently living there, though. I don't if I will move there or not. At this point, it's still part of the Being Responsible fantasy.

That second-to-last sentence should read "I don't KNOW if I will move there or not." Also, I have become aware that I am inept when it comes to using commas. Please be patient with me.

we all know what you mean. Humans can fill in the gaps in sentences without even thinking.

That's very true. It's called top-down processing, and it's a sign of a good reader. I learned that in the aforementioned developmental cognitive psychology class that has haunted my dreams for so long.

I know someone who lives in Salt Lake City. He's a net person, and I would love to meet him face-to-face, even though he tells me I'd probably be bored stiff with him. he's shy. if you move to Salt Lake I can visit both of you at the same time. if I ever get a lot of money.

I'm shy too, so I don't know how much fun we could all have. Though usually when I'm around people who are shy I become less shy. I'm funny that way. When I'm around loud people I'm quiet, and when I'm around quiet people I'm loud. Well, relatively speaking, of course.

I wouldn,t count on having fun in Mormon town,and Patrick forgot to mention the blank look in their eyes.

Salt Lake is beautiful. I got lost in Salt Lake once with my friend Jamie, and we asked the guy in the truck behind us for directions. He was very nice, and when we asked if their were any creeks or something to go swimming in, he directed us to one. Salt Lake has places where fun can be had. Mormons actually strike me, in general, as being willing to be nice even while mourning the fact that you're going to hell. The LDS dentist I worked for (and his wife) were A-OK.

How wierd I use to clean a Mormon dentist office,two of them,one of them got lots of porn catalogs.My husband works for a major utility company that is run by Mormons,they hire their relatives and ward members and give them jobs they aren,t qualified for,it,s so disgusting.

Spiderhiannon: I googled MSWs for you. I will list what looks good to me below -- http://www.ssw.umich.edu/ (Ann Arbor has great food and good bookstores and is a major college town, etc.) http://www.utexas.edu/depts/sswork/ (Austin, TX, home of the South by Southwest music festival...) http://www.smith.edu/ssw/ (I thought you might like this one just because Smith used to be a women's college) Also, my friend Julie went to the Medical College of Virgina in Richmond for her MSW and enjoyed it enormously.

my wife went to Meredith Women's College in Raleigh. She majored in psych there and overall had a great experience. However the job market proved very difficult. She had a tough time even getting volunteer social work. it's a highly concentrated area of folks with higher degrees, you have major schools like Duke, UNC-Chapel Hill, UNC-Greensboro, NC State, Wake Forest, Meredith all within an hours drive from each other, dumping kids in the market.... Chapel Hill is a great college town and Raleigh isn't so bad either.

Ann arbor can be expensive to live in, unless you like having roommates. Close to detroit but not too close. Detroit rocks. It has a lot of problems, but more character than any other ciy I've been in. SLC - yes, you can have fun there. And the mountains are beautiful. The last time I drank for 12 hours straight, it was there. Actually, it was at the conference I am going to tomorrow. And most of the folks i did the 12-hr jag with will be there. Pray for me.

my friend shot a movie there for 4 weeks. He said it was a royal pain in the ass getting used to the weird alcohol laws, as in when and where you can serve. Also when my wife goes there for business, she usually takes her clients to the only strip bar in town. She has a membership there and naturally any new comers from japan are floored that a woman is taking THEM to a strip joint.

I thought Salt Lake was the most boring place I've ever been and I'm not even a big drinker. The weird liquor laws, the millions of mormons, lacking downtown area. Oh sure you can get 10 types of pie at a local diner and postum on every menu and I did go see some good local bands but overall the town seemed bland and non-hoppin'. That is, it reminded me of the burbs, where you have to make your own fun, and there is a small community doing that. If you are a Mormon there is a lot more for you and if you like nature there are the mountains which even a nature hater like me had to confess were fab.

Thanks, Margret! I have a friend who went to UMich and she liked it. But they have this weird clause in their acceptance policy : "2. Prior academic record must reflect a liberal arts perspective which embraces at least twenty academic semester credits in the social and behavioral sciences (e.g. psychology, sociology, anthropology, economics, history, political science, government)" ...and I don't know if I meet the conditions or not (because -- for one thing -- our credit system isn't like most other colleges'), and I don't want to take any more classes. I've got the psych. and the anthro., but no econ., pol. sci. or history (other than Greek and Roman, which isn't too pertinent). UTexas requires GREs. Not too much of an obstacle, because, on the other hand, they don't require field experience. I was supposed to take the GREs on 1/6, and I didn't sign up in time, but there still are slots available. I just hope I do well. Smith says all they require is a BA (no GREs), and they "prefer" at least one year of experience (but we know what that means). So that's equal to Penn. But Penn has that certification program in Catholic social service, which I think would be cool. ---------- The mountains of Utah are a big plus. Northern Utah is my favorite area of the United States. Another great memory from my childhood is reading "Riders of the Purple Sage" and then driving from Las Vegas to Salt Lake with my aunt Beth and seeing the purple sage (and the purple mountains) out the window. Plus, I heard that my beloved Cedar City Shakespearean festival has expanded from just being summer-only to an all-year-round deal. Another good memory I have is seeing "A Streetcar Named Desire" there when I was fifteen. Ahhhhhhh.

What's this "used to be a women's school"? Smith still is a women's college at the undergrad level. Their grad programs, in social work and education do accept men. Smith is considered one of the top social work schools in the country. Both clinicians and the clinical director at my program are Smith grads. It's strenuous, intensive classes in the summer, and internships during the academic year. I didn't suggest it for Rhiannon (despite the fact that Northampton is a great place to be) because it doesn't have the Catholic social services component to it. It's strictly a clinical program, and I'm not sure that's what you're looking for either,

I wasn't sure whether it was still a women's school or not. I didn't want to assume it was and find out men were admitted the year after I went off to college. I, myself, think the resources available in Northampton and nearby college towns are great. Rhiannon, they just meant with the social sciences thing that you have to have taken enough classes in what they consider social sciences, not that you have to have dabbled in all of them. I went to a college that didn't count credits the normal way and had no difficulty getting into grad. school. Apparently administrators can translate one course, one credit (way the college of wooster did it) into equivalencies in polycredit courses. Dig? Utah's pretty, but I'd actually rather be in Mass. in the winter. Utah is frigging COLD. Rhi, have you looked at, say, Catholic University?

<<Though usually when I'm around people who are shy I become less shy>> that's how I am too, so we'll have to make up our minds who's going to be the shy one. unless we just let my buddy be shy and we can both be big and bad and bold and scare people with our crazy other-worldly attitudes. I'm really pretty useless in this conversation.

great, the sorbji fest will be reminescent of our middle school barn dances......everybody sitting down staring at their shoelaces, swine doing his bloddy best to stir thigs up as dj......finally giving up, calling us all fuckwads and encouraging us to walk on some train tracks and so on....

*studies her shoelaces* Yup. Still black.

I've heard salt lake is a good place to get drunk. once you buy your so-called membership into a bar, they supposedly have to give you entire mini-bottles of liquor because they're not allowed to open them themselves. so every time you get a strong drink.

oh geez and does that mean we'll be doing the sidestep dance that was so cool when i was 12 Patrick? I mean if anyone gets up to dance....

I plan to dance on the tables but I,m going to keep my clothes on(I hope).

Aw c'mon J, let it all hang out!

O.k.,just nobody sue me if they get knocked out by a bouncing boob.

wow! are they that big?

Assault with a deadly boob!

ok I'll pay $10 to see that YOU HEAR ME? $10!!!!!! I wanna be assaulted by a boob.

$20 (US) !!!!! I want to be assaulted by two boobs.

$22 and 2.2 boobs!

Fuck it I,ll do it for free.$22.00 dollars is the best I can do??I cane in under Swine and he wasn,t going to show skin.You will all be so sorry,on a lighter note,Dinner Lady,they are bigger than they where,but couldn,t do much damage unless they had a small head where it shouldn,t be.Then my legs would kick in,and I,m a dog.Bastards!!!

I had a roommate who told a story about a movie or something he saw where asian whores gave a service called BOOBILY OOBILY This involved the man putting his face between the boobs and the whore shimmying so her boobs slapped his face. It was supposed to be a 'facial massage'. Also the whores would say 'boobily ooobily' when they did it. J I'm sure your boob assault is worth more than $22. I would be in the bidding process but since I have a pair of deadly weapons myself it seems an unwise use of funds. Maybe we could set you up on EBAY though?

a guy in FL a while back actually sued a dancer with an enormous rack because he suffered neck trauma when she did just that to him......no shit

I read about that,saw the deadly boobs and wondered how she walked around on 2 feet,if I was hauling those around,I,d have to crawl.Maybe I can solicit men for some boobily oobilly in the day while my s/o is at work,maybe that would be better than that internet scam I,ve been trying to pull out of my ass.It wouldn,t be the first time I,ve exposed them.Speaking of that,a few weks ago,I recieved an e-mail from Steve at The Bastard Son of the Lord site,he,s wanting more ladies to bare their wares for Jesus,I was thinking of sending him a picture just my boobs no face,then I thought all of us gals could post our cans there and we could try to guess whose boobs are whose.Just an idea,but I,m going to raise my legs for Jesus.

i want a picture of your boobs. Gotta polaroid?

I,m going to borrow one from my son,but you don,t have a scanner,I was going to ask Cyst,but you can come over and play boobily ooogily.

i'll give you my address, you can mail it to me. send me an email, if you actually get a boob shot. I have been thinking of dropping a c-note for a scanner. I have so many pics to share, polaroids, medium format, recent 35mm and so on, in fact i am starting to dislike my site just because i have gone a step or two further since then. Those shots are nearly a year old.

Soon I,ll have a computer,and a scanner,it,s being made right now,I,ll finally be able to see your site.I hope I can figure out how to use everything,I,m so techno challenged.

i like boobs

I can tell

Everyone likes boobs

Does this mean I,m the only female here that,s going to show my cans for jesus?

unfortunately. to show my appreciation, i would be willing to do an annonymous pecker shot, but i don't most would give a rats ass, and in fact i think most would be rather annoyed.......

I know Jesus wants some butt shots too.

I know Jesus wants som butt shots too.

...on second thought

if anyone wants me to scan in photos of them, email me.

J - you make me laugh! CANS FOR JESUS!

Jesus needs your cans too,he needs alot of skin.

Well, that burst of motivation didn't last, did it? I'm not happy here. There's too much work and not enough of me to go around. Too much mindless work. I have no idea what I'm cut out to do. I don't know what my talents are, except that whatever they are, I'm wasting them here. I don't feel a calling to any profession. I am rudderless, I tell you. I heave a sigh from the depths of my soul.

Spider, I so understand what you mean. I have no idea what job would be the best use of my talents and still make me happy. I have never felt any calling to any profession, only motherhood. Even that gets old and you need a change. As I am looking for a new job, I feel like I am just floating around and not going anywhere. I can do this, or that, but nothing is particularly appealing. Right now I just want to sing old jazz at some seedy little dive of a jazz club, but I haven't found any of those yet.

jesus im dumb.

"I am rudderless, I tell you. I heave a sigh from the depths of my soul" i think feeling this way is par for the course.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

yep. self doubt, according to everyone ive had this converastion with and my own experience, plagues the mid 20s. don't worry spider things will flesh themselves out....they will become more clear.

Yeah, I felt teh same way. It vanished once i started grad school, though.

Nah, self doubt doesn't have to plague your mid 20's. In my mid 20's I was more motivated than at any other time in my life. I've just spent the past nine months trying to recapture that feeling. Find something that inspires you and follow it, Rhiannon. If it doesn't inspire you tomorrow, so what? Consider it practice on how to follow your dreams. While you don't have a dream, make it your dream to find a dream.

Hey! You obviously knew enough about yourself to know that you wanted to go to grad school for something in particular. Get out of here!

Oops, I was talking to Sem there. My dream is to not work. Seriously. If I were independently wealthy enough to not have to work, I would volunteer. I don't want to sit on my ass....I just don't want to be tied to a job.

Nobody wants to be tied to a job. I'm still misserable about having to work. And, I'm faceing Fifty!!! Isn' that depressing:)

I have no idea what to tell you Spider. More than anything else, I consider myself lucky that I like school. Though when I started, I thought I had myself all figured out. HA! I'd never been so wrong about anything, ever. And I really think that the kind of solitary work that one does in graduate school was part of what pushed me to work out all kinds of crap, all that self-doubt I'd been refusing to deal with. Things would be very different if I were independently wealthy. I love having those conversations when people look at me and say, "It wouldn't matter if you had tons of money, would it? You'd stay in school forever, getting multiple MAs and PhDs?" Are they kidding? I'd travel. All around the world. Then I'd probably do a lot of activism and volunteering. I'd write a lot of essays...bad ones. I'd bind them into books and give them to my friends for Christmas. I'd take classes, and eventually maybe get a degree...but probably not. Good luck to you Spider. I don't have any advice that hasn't been given. Just don't give up...like Antigone said, it'll make for good practice.

if i were independently wealthy, id fly all of you out to a secluded ranch on the Gaviota coastline and have a serious weekend long paint ball war.

Spider, save up a couple of thousand dollars and then quit your job and travel around the country to places where you have friends or non-scary acquaintances and can stay for a couple of days. See if there's some breathtaking vista you can't live without. If you find the place where you want to be, what you do to be there becomes less oppressive. You are welcome to come to New Mexico and stay with Cameron and me and the four cats...I recommend visiting the Pacific Northwest. I am an east coast girl (heh...I'm really hip) and I lost my mind from the beauty of Washington State and Oregon. I had a moment of almost believing in God. That's big, for me.

dearest spider, i've been getting all of your mail, but mine has all come back after apparently circumnavigating the globe. your direction in life: send me a working address. until then i'll send your shipment of drugs to su padre's address.

Yes!!! Droopy's back:)

Ay Dios mio!

Margret, I will consider your advice. Droopy, I will mail you my address. My head, it swims!

well, i'm not all the way back. i'm in a coffee shop, like i say on wayd. i still don't have a home computer. now i've got the coffee shakes and am logging off. bye.

gracias, spider.

spider, please do visit. portland is wonderful.

you thought you saw god when you met me, right margret? RIGHT?