at the age of fifteen, nicole sayed was abducted by aliens. her life was changed forever. when she was returned to earth, she was found sobbing next to a cactus in the nevada desert. her teeth were gone, and her hair had turned white. after weeks of strenuous testing, she was sent home to her grandmother, changed but unharmed. two years later, her grandmother taught her to knit. nicole learned quickly, and time gave her speed and skill. she and her grandmother were reclusive, coming out of their small home only to buy yarn and go grocery shopping. typical old woman and her circus-sideshow granddaughter. until their house burned down. the body of the old woman was charred, hardly recognizable as a human form. nicole's was never found.

shortly after this heart-wrenching event, a new protagonist appeared on the city streets: the knitter! long white hair, tucked into a tidy bun, held by two needles. x-ray vision spectacles. a tiny camera hidden in her dentures. a quiver of needles hang at her side-some merely sharp, the others, with break off tips, contain sophisticated tranquilizers and tracking devices. a bag of yarn balls is on her back, but more yarn spouts from her wrists, a-la-spiderman, when she needs it fast. finally, several pairs of scissors hang from her belt, in case for the event that her yarn must be cut, fast. the knitter!

My friend Nacho and I are planning to find Professor Xavier and join the X-men. Because we have a mutant power. We can only activate it when we are together... All we have to do to activate our power is; put our fist to our chests extend them and touch fists while saying the phrase in unison. "Lesbian Powers Activate." And then... We both become lesbians.

that must be interesting. so you're a hermaphrodite?

No, I can just become a lesbian at will. As long as nacho is there.

nacho nacho man...i wanna be, a nacho man... i'm not the knitter. i am bones. i can squeeze between all the rollracks in the shoe stockroom...although not with shoes in hand. they make it awkward.