reading the personals in the portland mercury

sorabji.com: Reasons to be cheerful: reading the personals in the portland mercury
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).
By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:11 pm:

    i spy...i saw you through your bedroom window undressing. me: the guy in the bushes. coffee?

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:12 pm:

    winged angel woth warm legs u know me but i no you. i'll be gone on march 25th... so you better come by...

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:14 pm:

    ankles awayy spiro spiro: ty 4-calling! try again? i'm looking 4-ward 2 possible ankle-kissing! look 4 me where u found me...

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:16 pm:

    what bait dragonfish? bald hunk thinks he used the wrong bait to catch his blond dragonfish. so let's try sincere: join me for bento this week? i'll share my caramel chicken if you let me nibble your yakisoba.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:18 pm:

    coffee time i was inspired to write this rhyme after we shared coffee once upon a time. you rested your sexy dreds upon my head, so i need a chance to say, you can read over my shoulder any day.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:19 pm:

    flapper girl you walked out of carmelita apartments with blonde friend. i dream of dancing with you in an intimate garden of passion and desire. i want to feel your beautiful lips pressed against mine while i melt with you.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:21 pm:

    embers goth night you: dark hair/eyes, black shirt, red? pants, talking to blonde boy. me: dark hair/eyes all black but not goth, hanging with bouncer/bartender. we made eye contact. someone distracted me and you left.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:24 pm:

    mod number #1 crush your eyes burn me whenever we pass, and i am too shy to speak directly to you. i hear you have the voice of an angel. will you sing me to sleep?

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:27 pm:

    demon girl on wed 3/7 you: silver car w/satan fish, black hole body piercing sticker, and visualize total annhiliation sticker on back. 92nd and powell, 1:00 pm. me: yellow short bus behind you, laughing my ass off. we should hang out. coffee? cocktails? human blood?

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:29 pm:

    meow, meow i saw you kitty in those hip shades ans in that fluffy coat. skinny little cat, my head is hangin' heavy with your picture in my mind. love.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:31 pm:

    billy ray's dive mo-hair coat dyed blond hair, blue blue eyes...oh snagle tooth smile sit down at my table, put your arm around me start to share your information. dump that loser with the glasses and make dirty dirty love to my afro.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:34 pm:

    spoon @ meow meow 3/5 we were standing next to each other much of the time. you: brunette, red pullover sweater. me: tousled hair, gray hooded jacket being mr. terminally shy. would like an opportunity to meet and talk. if interested, please respond.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:35 pm:

    onion butt you make me wanna cry. cook me up some sweet love, sanchez. love pickles.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:36 pm:

    me:secretary for us ambassador you: working at bagel shop down the street from the embassy. share a glass of manishchewitz?

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:37 pm:

    sexy bank teller k, i met you at a bank. you were gorgeous and funny. i was blown away. let's meet again sexy! a.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:38 pm:

    angelo... thanks for the kiss anayway. xo, angel wings and legwarmers.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:40 pm:

    division natures early february. you: blue pea coat, black pants, 1 sock buying fig newtons. us: 2 girls 18, 22 will buy you socks. argyle? we're not junkies but you remind us of one. something new for diversion.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:42 pm:

    kathryn anyone that can roll a cig while walking in the rain gets my attention. thanks for the cig, however i must say that was strong tobacco. i enjoyed our conversation and, yes, you are worth an ad in this paper.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:44 pm:

    sexy promoter guy you - black hair, blue eyes - joe? me - blonde hair, blue eyed andi-pants. i wanna do you in the back room of slut hut.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:46 pm:

    and theresa... what sort of cryptic message shall i leave in response to the last i saw u? let's drink beer and play poker.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:48 pm:

    pssssttt... natasha you put the "ding" in dingos, you juice fasting, dance class taking, wood working, hottie! you're showing up in all the hip papers. your nyc friends will be so jealous to see you getting this much ink.

By cyst on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:48 pm:

    spoon played the meow meow? bet that was crowded.

    I was v. disappointed with guided by voices friday night at the showbox. I didn't get into the spoon show here. oh well.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:51 pm:

    meow meow mercury cd release 3/4. beautiful blonde girl, ponytail, jeans, white shirt, blue shoes, blue jacket on floor, standing on wall by cd table. me: blue and black flannel, jeans, slight beard. you and your friend left on bikes before i could ask your name.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:52 pm:

    kellie you blow me away kellie, i saw you at washington mutual and instantly fell in love. you're absolutely stunning! you're just so amazingly beautiful. love, alex s.

By cyst on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:53 pm:

    I went to the mercury debut party last june. katherine dunn was sitting all alone at a table, so I went and drunkenly chatted her up. she told me her next book, "cut man," might be out in spring 2001. I guess that's now. woner what's up with that.

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:55 pm:

    dragonfishing for love saw you 2/20 at dragonfish. me: shaved head and construction worker arms. you: blonde honey with knowing smile. you wanted to try my asparagus beef, i wanted to try you. meet for sushi hour this thursday?

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:57 pm:

    fresh pot striking woman w/long black hair and engineer boots. noticed you sitting solo at fresh pot. i stood on your table. saw you saying hi. care to discuss the revolution?

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 05:58 pm:

    dog poop patrol you wrote the "i, anonymous" in the january 25th issue of the mercury. you're my kinda person. wanna be friends?

By Fetidbeaver on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 06:16 pm:

    Do we have a new rule that you can post no more than 5 lines at a time?

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 06:29 pm:

    sorry. guess i went a *little* overboard.

By cyst on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 06:50 pm:

By pixi stix on Monday, April 2, 2001 - 06:53 pm:

    troo. i just saw the address at the bottom of the page.

    i like to laugh at them, sometimes. like the guy who misspelled "gwen stefani" and another who wants a sugar momma. i don't answer personals ever but i just placed one with no descriptions.

By Hal on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 12:12 pm:

    There was a good one in the Missoulian for a couple days about a year ago, TBone has it clipped out and taped to his monitor.

    "All your base are belong to us."
    ext. 5170

By pez on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 02:08 pm:

    there was one a few weeks ago:

    drunk, skinny, poor
    guy seeks hottie rich girl w/ stocked fridge. ps: send photo of fridge.

By JusMiceSlippedDiscElf on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 04:23 pm:

    From the Valley Advocate:

    Like it on Top?

    SWM, 34, very handsome, fit, fun, temporary back injury. Seeks attractive F's for wild rides.

By patrick on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 04:48 pm:

    riding? riding what?

    and how much riding can that stud do with a bad back?

By Agent P on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 05:23 pm:

    duh

By patrick on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 05:32 pm:

    shut up dope.

    tell us how you you slipped a disc Jus? Get any good pain meds?

By Agent Double P on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 06:12 pm:

    Kettle? You're black!

By Agent Ex on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 06:31 pm:

    1. The stud's not doing the riding.

    2. JusMice isn't the one with the slipped disc.

    3. "the pot calling the kettle black" is an expression.

    4. It's pretty obvious who the dope is.

By patrick on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 06:44 pm:

    are you retarded?

    "JusMiceSlippedDiscElf" on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 04:23 pm:"

    JUST MY SLIPPED DISC SELF

    dope


By Agent Duh on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 07:19 pm:

    You're getting into Trace territory here.

By patrick on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 07:48 pm:

    whats it like there?


    imagine my nuts resting gently on your chin.

    (did someone say that? is that a nateism?)

By Agent Pattycake on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 09:31 pm:

    it's like you're so literal minded that you can't understand things that you read and you respond with inappropriate stupid comments. see if you can figure it out. or not. you really think that someone can't understand "JusMiceSlippedDiscElf"? maybe it's you.

By Nate on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 10:09 pm:

    boy howdy, that's funny.

By JusMiceLiteralForPatricksSakeElf on Tuesday, April 3, 2001 - 11:40 pm:

    Ahem.

    Yo, Patrick...It's not my disc that slipped...just thought that fit nicely with the theme of the post. I'll provide footnotes for you next time.

By Nate on Wednesday, April 4, 2001 - 12:50 am:

    maybe he needs braile?

By Antigone on Wednesday, April 4, 2001 - 02:33 am:

    Set sail for Agent Dick!

By moonit on Wednesday, April 4, 2001 - 05:57 am:

    or translation services. even i got it and sometimes I be a little slow on the uptake

By J on Wednesday, April 4, 2001 - 11:04 am:

    I use to love calling some of the personal ads,espeacially the gay ones,watersports,"you like to ski?snorkle?Oh I see".

By patrick on Wednesday, April 4, 2001 - 12:54 pm:

    hey agent cockface

    i think it you who need help with the literal. i know damn well what "riding" implied in the post above? It was merely a poke at THE LITERAL. dumbass. tongue and cheek? foot in ass?

    i'm familiar with the phrase pot calling the kettle black. dumbass.

    i know SEE the connection of the modified name and the original post by her.

    i didn't notice the name modifcation until after i had read the original post, so the two didnt orginally connect. maybe it wasnt that funny or notable.

    if you're be a smartass at least be funny.

    and jus...no need to provide footnotes....really.

By Agent Patricia on Wednesday, April 4, 2001 - 01:13 pm:

    based on these posts, specifically your demonstrated interpretative skills, your paranoid defensiveness, your preference for shooting off your mouth before thinking about what you're saying, and your fondness for making threatening sounds, you are well qualified for a government job. maybe even a position in the bush administration or answering phones at the DoD! good luck!

By patrick on Wednesday, April 4, 2001 - 01:33 pm:

    are you hearing threatening sounds?

    and you cite MY defensive paranoia?

    i've been shooting my mouth off here for some time asshole...don't expect me to move out of your way.

    i've also been skimming over posts and reading things half assed for years this is nothing new...shut up and get over it.

    i give complete attention to what i deem worthy of my attention. Sometimes things, including my own, here just warrant be skimmed over.

    i got some peanuts for you monkey.





By patrick on Wednesday, April 4, 2001 - 01:40 pm:

    based on your posts you're one of those self-absorbed assholes who think they are THE shit, sit back and stroke their otherwise fraile ego with harsh judgements of others based on what they can see through this steamy internet window. Do you get out of the house much?

By pez on Wednesday, April 4, 2001 - 04:45 pm:

    i just emailed the mercury and sent in some "poetry" to be posted as joke ads. take a look in a week or so!

By cyst on Wednesday, April 4, 2001 - 05:23 pm:

By pez on Thursday, April 5, 2001 - 01:29 am:

    which portland suburb did you grow up in?

By cyst on Thursday, April 5, 2001 - 01:50 pm:

    tigard.

By pez on Friday, April 6, 2001 - 11:58 am:

    i had a friend who lives in tualitin, and my grandparents used to live in king city.

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