| THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016). |
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let me explain what cooking from a wheelchair is like. imagine first that you have raised your stove off the ground (on blocks or something) so that the range-top is as high as your shoulder. imagine further you have a large cardboard box (like the one the stove would've come in). cut it up so that it's as high as your hips; cut a hole in the top so that you can stand inside the box and it extends about 2 1/2 feet in front of you and about 6 inches on each side. secure the box to your person so that you can only turn at the waist and everything you do has to be done to the side of you and not in front of you now you're ready to cook. i poach an egg by letting a small sauce pan of water - slightly salted with a splash of vinegar in it - come to a rapid boil and then turning it down to a simmer. i crack an egg (which i've let come to room temperature) into a 1/3 measuring cup. i use the handle end of a wooden spoon to stir the simmering water into a vortex. when i drop the egg into the middle of the vortex, i have to reach over with my left hand and sort of pour it in since the top of the sauce pan is about chin height and far enough away that lowering it in is difficult. then i use the toasting time of the english muffin to judge the cooking time. the egg cooks, but usually has a blob shape. but but a little while ago it occured to me to bend the handle of the measuring cup up so that it's like a ladle. when the egg cooked, it came out in a perfect disk shape. the only problem is, i can't seem to recreate that little triumph. maybe i'm just thinking about it too much. or maybe i just need a proper, long-handled ladle. |
i dont put anything that smells like ass gas into my mouth. |
you ever eat broccoli, patrick? your scrambled eggs are definitely releasing some sort of sulfide gas. i've never noticed the sulfur smell with poached eggs. i think the longer an egg is cooked, the more its proteins break down and the more sulfide gas you get. i think you have some deep seated anxiety about non-scrambled eggs. the duality of life, the mind/body separation, in stark and visual metaphor. i love a properly poached egg. i've never attempted to make one at home. i am lucky in that i can find well executed poached eggs at the same place that has the best croissants in town. and the coffee is good, too. |
Droop, have you ever used an egg poacher? It's kind of cheating, but I have to say I really like the one my dad gave me. It turns out beautifully rounded and perfectly coherent poached eggs every time, like magic. |
the runny yolk also freaks me out. i only like eggs scramble hard, drenched in hot sauce. we have an egg poacher, which, in essence is like a double boiler with 4 little cups for poaching. |
I gently cook my eggs so that the yolks are runny and the whites are solid but still tender. Well, that's the plan, anyway. On weekends I make baked eggs in the toaster oven. Two eggs, a tablespoon of milk, and inexpert seasoning in a ramekin. I'm still working on the temperature and timing, though. In addition to my clumsy seasoning, I sprinkle some grated Grana Padano on top and at the end lightly brown it with the toaster oven set on broil for a minute. |
patrick, ass gas in your mouth, bro. |
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*sigh* |
Gruyere cheese is heavenly. My mother had the ramifications of "living simply" in Montana when I called her one night and asked her for recipe advice. She started listing all these great options, but I had to tell her we had NO cheese (let alone real, good, authentic, non-government cheese), and she said with deep sincerity and heart-felt emotion, "Oh, honey, I feel so SORRY for you." *Sniff* It was indeed a trying time. I often wondered if I was the only Italian in the state. (Even the dogs in Italy eat cheese; cheese makes the world go round.) (Actually, the nearest store that carried imported cheese was a specialty deli in Sheridan, WY, left off the main street as you head south out of town. If you ever have cause to be in Sheridan, stock up on your cheese needs there.) I'm not really a fan of eggs. Lately, I can't eat them without toast on the side because they hurt my stomach. Also, I don't smell the sulfur (unless that's what makes eggs have their standard egg smell) because, like TBone's, my olfactory system is not my sharpest sense. I do like Eggs Benedict, though -- those are poached eggs, yes? |
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i doubt i will ever end up buying an egg poacher. when i poach an egg the way i usually do it, it comes out looking like this, usually. which i'm happy enough with. the closest i've come to eggs benedict was when i put a couple of slices of deli ham on an english muffin and then melted some swiss cheese over it in the toaster oven. when i put the egg over it, the melted cheese kept it from sliding off the ham. i had no hollandaise(sp?) sauce, though. when i poach an egg, i like somewhere between an egg over easy and a soft-boiled egg. the white is usually firm but not rubbery and i like the yolk to be semi-liquid - oozey rather than runny. i know a lot of people have an aversion to eggs - smell, texture, all that - but i don't. i'll even slurp down a raw one as a quick breakfast. i have always cooked for myself, and despite what i may have written it's never been much of a problem. but lately i've become sick of cooking. i used to be that i would look forward to opening up a bottle of wine and start making a meal from scratch. now i could care less. i could live off poached eggs, sandwiches, and cornflakes nowadays. |
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the way you described things really worked for me, droop. opened my eyes to something i'd never thought about before. yay. |
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Maybe I should send you my backup egg poacher (my Chinese mother is pathologically incapable of allowing anyone in the family to have only one of anything). In fact, maybe we could have an "Obscure Cooking Implements" exchange, in which Sorabjites the world over dug out their most peculiar and unused cooking utensils and sent them to each other. Egg poachers are pretty much the epitome of everything that is wrong with unitaskers, except when the insert tray fits into a cast iron pan so that you can use it to make little souffles in the oven. |
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flaming ass is no laughing matter. i'm just kidding. it's totally a laughing matter. Dr. Pepper, i highly recommend searching youtube for videos of chicks lighting farts on fire. (this message brought to you by your friendly neighborhood unemployed man. when it comes to idle entertainment, you can put your trust in the unemployed. we're not working for you!) |
You bastards. Although I have gotten a nice compact recurrent neural network implementation done whilst non-somnolent. But it doesn't matter. You fuckers. |
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Having a consistent rat problem to deal with right now, on top of the fact of being totally emotionally wiped makes it really hard to dive into the kitchen and make headway. |
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I can't imagine trolling that well or being that bad yet competent at english at the same time. It would have to be among the best trolling i've ever seen. And yet the engrish nature of it all still leads me to think he may be ESL or some kind of savant. God damn it, we may never know. |
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which system is this, exactly? i am thinking, life support. |
Send oxygen. detailed recipes for fruit sorbet. rubber candles wicking at wer suit blow holes. wheelless chairs idling ins space full of bytes from mospquito news. mosquitos news. metis mews. |
Its way way better than v1.8. Much more nimble, agile and virile. |
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the solar system the employee grievance reporting system |
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so back to eggs. so i bet most of you open the carton of eggs to see if any are broken before you purchase them. but how many of you check the expiration date? i love eggs, in all their gassy farty smelling glory. i love them any which way except over easy... no runny yolks! bleagh! i eat eggs almost every day too, and breakfast is my favorite meal. i have a million and one egg recipes. but the best is simply fried eggs with fresh chopped dill on top and a tomato slice. |
this morning i ate breakfast at the guerilla cafe in berkeley. they poach their in some sort of poacher, perfect little domes. with chives and pepper on toast, and a side of tomatoes and cucumber and olives and some sort of crumbly cheese drenched in olive oil and balsamic. and a cup of bluebottle coffee. |
Eggs are often just fine after their expiry date, incidentally. |
When we were really little, my dad used to make us Ovs Batus, which is nothing but raw eggs and boatloads of sugar beaten together until creamy and then spread on toast. Before you gag, let me remind you of the Unholy Food Combination thread and say that it could have been much worse. |
which is why pavlov's barefoot contessa always tells you to crack your eggs into a separate bowl. not that i do that. my cousin has chickens. eggs fresh from the chicken's ass are great. eggs are great. yay eggs. |
raw egg and sugar is great. yay raw egg and sugar. |
I used to have a chart that indicated how long you could actually wait. |
I dreamed of Berkeley before I ever went there. When I got there, it looked just like my dream, down to the building. From the dream I remember looking at the roof of the computer science building and wishing I could make it inside. I now realize sitting on the roof is just as good. |
Antigone, I wish I'd realized that before I blew a semester's worth of tuition at Berkeley. Maybe there should be a sign over Sather Gate: "sitting on the roof is just as good." |
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Yay eggs |
Does Ben and Jerry's put out an egg nog ice cream? I would totally eat that. |
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i make what are basically egg nogs year-round: milk, raw egg, sugar, and a little vanilla mixed together. it's a good hangover remedy. i even figured out how to incorporate peanut butter into it. i always check the date on eggs. i have found, empirically, that older eggs are easier to peel when they're hard boiled. i'll use eggs on or past its "use by" date to make pickled eggs. pickled eggs, dr. pepper, will make a military-grade flame thrower out of your anus. try it. |
mine involves eating a jar of pickles first. i'd like one without that criteria, though. |
the hardcore way - and i use a danish recipe - involves boiling white vinegar with spices and pouring it over boiled eggs in sealable jar: classic pickling. the outcome is pretty intense. i'm a bit too liquored up to dig up and transcribe the recipe at the moment. ask me later. actually, i just remembered that there was a thread about this here |
Use the hot vinegar and canning method otherwise you run the risk of caning some nasty shit with the pickled eggs. Of course, sterilze the jars first, but its the eggs and the handling that breeds the nasties. how bout that Letterman guy? What a guy. I guess he'd feel that true American heros would only be able to do one thing at a time, and would eat raw egg over hard boiled, full well knowing the risk of salminella, and cancel a debate over the gaseous results. Oh wait! that's McSame. I'd bet He'd only eat McD's artificially cooked egg lookalike substitute prolly cuz it costs more and benefits corporate amerika, his friends, and fucks the people out of nutritional benefit... |
it's true that the closer that eggs get to their expiration date the easier they are to peel after they've been boiled. once i bought local eggs 3 days before their expiration date and was disappointed to find out the next day that after i had boiled six of them, they all tasted like bad fish. another time i accidentally bought those really expensive DHA Omega 3 eggs on the day before their expiration date and again was disappointed the next day when i cracked one into a pan to find that it had gone rancid. i took them back to the store to get my money back. now i always check the expiration date. especially because i frequently make caesar salad dressing from scratch. |
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In Montana we'd get eggs from the Amish farm down the street, eggs so fresh they'd still have hay and dirt (uh, I hope) stuck on the shells, and I couldn't tell any taste difference between them and the eggs from the store. Though I didn't conduct any scientific blindfolded taste tests. Maybe my sense of taste is dampened along with the sense of smell. TBone, do you have this problem, too? |
i had these chicken thighs the other day. it was cold in the house, and i figured it was cold outside, so i made this kind of one-pot braised thing: 3 bone-in chicken thighs, salted and browned in olive oil in an enameled cast iron pot. pour off the excess grease and add a can of diced tomatoes, a can and a half of water, a handful of brown rice, a handful of french lentils, red pepper flakes, coriander seed, black pepper. bring to a bubble and then simmer over lowest heat for an hour or so. add a can of artichoke hearts (trade joes, whole hearts, love them) and cook for another 20 minutes or so. while it was cooking i discovered it was about 95 degrees outside. this late summer norcal weather -- cold for a few days, hot for a few days -- is really confusing. it was still good. no oufs. thighs of post-oufs though. |
Though I do notice a difference in the yolks when they're runny. The local egg yolks seem -- I don't know -- richer? They're certainly much darker in color. Mostly it's the eggs from people's backyard chickens in which I notice a difference. The eggs from the Hutterites are just like store eggs, but most stores around here sell eggs from Wolf Creek, which is like 40 miles away. You can buy eggs from farther away, but I generally don't. |
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I have some old eggs, maybe I should hard boil them. Make me some deviled eggs. I love deviled eggs. |
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which reminds me, i just read something about adding a tablespoon of plain white vinegar to the water when you are poaching eggs, and it makes the egg stay in one piece. |
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