I am French


sorabji.com: Who are you?: I am French
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By Ericbonnard on Thursday, March 25, 2004 - 02:46 pm:

    I am French and proud to be.


By Chapelle on Thursday, March 25, 2004 - 04:40 pm:

    I'm Rick James, bitch!


By sarah on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 02:35 pm:


    fuck the french




By patrick on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 02:53 pm:

    the fucktard would like nothing more.


    fuck the american born irish/lebanese mutts too.


By kazu on Friday, March 26, 2004 - 03:07 pm:

    my best friend is one of those too!


By Ericbonnard on Sunday, March 28, 2004 - 06:37 am:

    I've written the first message to know if the most stupid person of the world exists. I'have an answer: Yes and her name is Sarah. Do you have a process to be so stupid? Where do you come from? Do you live in a Texas's Mc Donald's?


By semillama on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 11:00 am:

    Wow, our experiment to test the IQ of French people worked too!

    So what's it like not having two brain cells to rub together? Try to use correct verb forms, but if you can't, we'll understand.


By kazu on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 11:02 am:

    Ericbonnard. Bonnard. Bonntard.

    That was much too easy.






    NEXT!


By Rowlfe on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 11:42 am:

    Uh, is there actually hate for the French here or whats going on huh?


By kazu on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 11:55 am:

    If not for the French, I wouldn't have such a neat-o all-vowels-included-last-name. Plus Alliteration! I'm not happy with the French government right now, but that doesn't mean much in terms of hatred.


By sarah on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 03:31 pm:


    oh for chrissakes Rowlfe.




By J on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 03:42 pm:

    Yea Rowlfe,you've been here long enough to know the french thing at sorabji,it goes with the fuck you in the ass thing,so to speak.


By Rowlfe on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 04:01 pm:

    I've seen nothing of the kind regarding " a french thing" - is there a link to see another one?


By TBone on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 04:49 pm:

    It's an old one. Less common now that it's in vogue.
    .
    Do a search on "Fuck the French."


By sarah on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 05:30 pm:


    "in vogue"

    speaking of fuck the french...



By Ericbonnard on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 05:32 pm:

    Semillama, I try to write correctly in English even I make some errors but I speak at least another tongue than mine. So, could you corrrect my verb form please? That way, I would have learnt something positive in this discussion.
    What's the problem with french? I'm not the government. I like american people even I think your government makes mistakes. There's no link.


By dave. on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 05:44 pm:

    would "fuck the parisians" make you feel better?

    is there a reason that parisians need to stand so close to one another that they are literally bumping into each other? i've heard from more than 1 source that, even if there's plenty of room available, people will literally go out of their way to rub up against someone else.

    also, it is reported that cutting in line is the norm and eggs on pizza is commonplace.

    what the fuck is wrong with you people?


By semillama on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 05:58 pm:

    Eggs on pizza?!?!?!


    Commence bombing.


By Ericbonnard on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 05:59 pm:

    Pizzas come from Italia and they put eggs on.


By El sauveur on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 06:04 pm:

    deplorable bande de pauvres cons...


By sarah on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 06:23 pm:


    http://bbs.sorabji.com/messages/643/3331.html


    a sorabji search for fuck the french resolved sixty different threads, including the above. i skimmed through about 15 of them just for fun, and each one was fucking hilarious.


    oh, and fuck you you ass.








By Dougie on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 08:18 pm:

    Yep, a big runny sunny-side up egg in the middle of your pizza. Don't ask me why.

    Speaking of eggs, I watched Iron Chef the other night (don't ask me why I watched that either), and the theme ingredient for the night was escargots -- snails, that is. Which I like, with the garlic butter and whatnot, but the thing that really kind of grossed me out was that both chefs were using canned snails' eggs. They looked like translucent salmon eggs -- about the same size and shape. The Japanese Iron Chef made a dish that combined snails and frog legs, with an accompanying fried rice dish that had the snail eggs in it. The whole show left me feeling kind of queasy, but I just had to watch until the end where the judges sample and rate all the dishes.

    I just wonder who the hell eats snail eggs? "Shit honey, we're all out of snail eggs. Let me run to the 7-11 and pick some up real quick for our omelette."


By Sheila on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 08:58 pm:

    Having actually fucked the French, and vice
    versa as they would say, I must come to
    Sarah's defense. That list of FTF websites
    should include moi. They can eat it on toast
    points.

    PS Life on the mountain goes forward. The
    horses are fat, the geese are horny (or at least
    honking, the flock is now all bachelors) and
    the buffalo/bison are just across the road.


By kazu on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 10:40 pm:

    I experienced francophobia once. When I was taking an honors thesis seminar we all had to go around the room and discuss our projects. My friend Stephanie introduced herself and announced her major which was women's studies and french, and that her thesis was going to be on a women's studies topic. Then the professor said he was glad and started going off on a tangent about how much he really, and I mean REALLY hated the French. And he was someone who was somewhat informed about French culture, meaning he was playing off of more than the usual stereotypes. I didn't particularly care because I wasn't sure how serious I was and besides, it's not like rampant francophobia was an issue I've had to deal with. So it's my turn next and I say my name and he's really intrigued by my last name and asks if it's Dutch and I say no. And he said, well what is it? I said French. And his face just dropped, he got really uncomfortable, and wouldn't look at me for the rest of the class.


By agatha on Monday, March 29, 2004 - 11:40 pm:

    sheilaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!


By Ericbonnard on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 09:55 am:

    Dougie, I hope your are not american because I would not understand how you can critisize foreighn's food. American don't know what to eat because the half are fat. I know it's a stereotype but there's only stereotypes in the discussion.


By sarah on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:19 am:


    holy fucking hell. i was just thinking last night as i was drifting off to sleep that the originator of FTF was Sheila, and thought of lemon pies and toast points. and what the hell happened to her.

    sheila. don't leave me ever again.



By sarah on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:21 am:


    in hawaii you can't get snails eggs at the 7-11, but you can get sushi. and spam sushi too.



By kazu on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 10:24 am:

    spam sushi?



By TBone on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 11:58 am:

    SPAM SUSHI?!
    .
    .
    Sheila!


By sarah on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 12:13 pm:

    yeah. a slab of spam on top of a hunk of rice with seaweed paper wrapped around it. sometimes called spam musubi, sometimes called spam roll.

    i swear to god.




By patrick on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 03:12 pm:

    french cusine = simmer, saute, boil, broil, roast, toast, marinade ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in wine sauce.



By Ericbonnard on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 04:39 pm:

    french cuisine is THE cuisine
    American cuisine is : no cuisine: bread, steack, salad, tomatoes, whaouhh! so fine! Could you give me the recipe?


By Dougie on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 05:17 pm:

    Yes, I'm American, Ericbonnard, and if you read closely, I wasn't criticizing. I was just saying that the combination of snails, frog legs, and snail eggs made me queasy. Individually though, I like snails and frog legs. I've never had snail eggs, though I don't think I care to try.


By Antigone on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 05:22 pm:

    Ericbonnard is one arrogant pissant, ain't he?

    Welcome to the club, fucktard.


By semillama on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 05:26 pm:

    This just all totally justifies why the French must get Fucked.


By Ericbonnard on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 05:29 pm:

    Sorry, I read closely but it is not easy for me to understand everything you write,I don't speak fluently english. It's cool not to be agressive, it's rare here.


By Ericbonnard on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 05:33 pm:

    I am arrogant when other are arrogant with me, I did not beginn if you read from the beginning. If you talk about stereotypes, american are more arrogant than french.


By patrick on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 05:54 pm:

    d00d.

    we're americans, we eat aggression and arrogance for breakfast. duh!

    with french cuisine while it may SEEM like THE cuisine, the wine shoudl take the credit becasue I'd have to drink a lot of it to swallow some of the crap French cuisine serves up. I wasn't overly impressed with the food in France. While it wasnt bad, i certainly wasnt impressed either.

    I think Italians and a few other cultures of the Mediterranean got you beat when it comes to cuisine.





By Ericbonnard on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 06:03 pm:

    I agree concerning other mediterranean foods, Italian or spanish cook good food. I am not sure you tasted the real french food because it is very very huge. I could show you some restaurants where you would die to be surved up a dish again.


By Antigone on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 06:08 pm:

    "I am arrogant when other are arrogant with me"

    Oh, yeah. That helps.

    I think you're being flirty with me. Does that mean I can fuck ye?


By Spider on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 06:35 pm:

    Hey, Msr Bonnard has a good point -- he at least can speak a second language reasonably well, and he has the courage to post on a message board in that language. You couldn't get me to do that on an Italian message board.


By Antigone on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 06:51 pm:

    I can post on any message board in any language that is translated by babelfish. Big deal...


By Antigone on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 06:52 pm:

    Je peux signaler sur n'importe quel panneau de message en n'importe quelle langue qui est traduite par le babelfish. Affaire...


By Antigone on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 06:52 pm:

    Ich kann auf jedem möglichem Anzeige Brett in irgendeiner Sprache bekanntgeben, die durch babelfish übersetzt wird. Grosses Abkommen...


By Antigone on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 06:52 pm:

    Eu posso afixar em toda a placa da mensagem em qualquer língua que for traduzida pelo babelfish. Negócio grande...


By Chapelle on Tuesday, March 30, 2004 - 06:53 pm:

    Je suis Rick James, chienne !


By Ericbonnard on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 03:54 am:

    Your "translations" in french and german are very bad. Babelfisch takes the first word he finds without any meaning. Don't think you can write to the world in any language.
    Information: "bitch"= "salope"


By sarah on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 11:30 am:


    bonntard. get off my boards. don't make me fly over there and whap you upside the head with a wheel of brie.



By sarah on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 11:34 am:


    and spider, you best adhere to the rules of sorabjiland initiation conduct, or i'm going to ask to have you disbarred.



By Spider on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 11:35 am:

    Aw, I can't help myself. I have a soft heart.


By semillama on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 11:47 am:

    Yeah. anyone who comes in and says they are proud of being a nationality deserves the reaming they get. Being proud of where you are born is utterly retarded.


By Ericbonnard on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 12:40 pm:

    Yes I agree, but it was a provocative sentence to cause reactions. I apparently succeeded.
    What are the rules of sorabjiland?
    Sarah, you are on my board, so YOU get off my board. Do you know "freedom of expression", it's french?


By sarah on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 12:55 pm:


    do you know the expression "fuck you, you ass"? it's american.




By sarah on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 12:56 pm:


    oooooo eeeeeeeeeeee. jump back, kiss mahself!




By Ericbonnard on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 01:10 pm:

    I know it's american, it couldn't be else, it shows the speech full of finesse of a part of americans like you, fortunately there is an other part much more interesting and intelligent. I wish you to know this sensation even if you need work.


By patrick on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 01:25 pm:

    you mean you don't feel the sensation of "fuck you you ass?"
    do you have a pulse?


By Ericbonnard on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 01:33 pm:

    fuck, fuck, fuck . What would you do without this word? fuck really instead of writing it, is that a kind of sexual frustration?


By semillama on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 01:47 pm:

    Don't you have to go rip the scarves off some muslim women's heads or something?


    Actually, I've said it here before, and the thing about the French is that folks around 25 and under are totally cool, but the older types in Paris are as about as condescending as you would think from the stereotype. Elsewhere in the country, they just seem like normal folks everywhere in the world: eager to make a buck off the tourists. You even have to understand the overwhelming arrogance in their inherent cultural superiority, considering the deep national humiliation of WWII. What else could they do?

    Still, if'n you is an ASS, then Fuck Y'all, kemosabe!

    and if you canst not see the humor in it, then may you mount up upon yourself.


By Ericbonnard on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 01:56 pm:

    Even if I did not understand everythig (end of the message,wwii?), a constructive message at length! It's hard for me to understand such an humor in another language than mine.


By patrick on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 02:43 pm:

    fantastic. so we will continue in this manner not completely understanding each other. i like it!


    one time, this frenchman came to my house. we played ping pong. he was a short man, like Napoloeon. He was so insistent on showing us superior skills in ping pong. With a blazing serve return, but he would simultaneously hit us with the ball. It wasn't enough for this short arrogant Frenchman to beat us, he had to add insult by hitting us with the ball.


    I said "you're an asshole you silly little frenchmen". He said "lets have creme brule' and drink champagne" I said, "i invited you to dinner, and you hit me with the ball again and again and again. you arrogant fuck"

    So I beat him down with ping pong paddle. He has not been invited back to my home.










By Ericbonnard on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 02:54 pm:

    There's stupid people everywhere including in france. It's dangerous to make generalities. You never met any cool french guys?
    I will never dare, wathever happens, to write: "fuck the american". I find it stupid.


By moonit on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 02:59 pm:

    plus it doesn't flow.

    fuck the kiwi.

    oh wait, some french did that when they blew up the rainbow warrior in our country.

    fuckers.


By Antigone on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 03:52 pm:

    Ericbonnard said:
    "It's dangerous to make generalities."

    Contrast with:
    "I've written the first message to know if the most stupid person of the world exists. I'have an answer: Yes and her name is Sarah."

    "American don't know what to eat because the half are fat."

    "If you talk about stereotypes, american are more arrogant than french."

    "I know it's american, it couldn't be else, it shows the speech full of finesse of a part of americans like you"

    I think this is the record for the fastest contradiction in sorabji history!


By Ericbonnard on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 04:36 pm:

    if you read carefully there's no generalities in what I wrote. I moderated each time what I said.


By Antigone on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 04:38 pm:

    If you read carefully what I'm writing now you'll realize that I'm not actually writing.


By patrick on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 04:39 pm:

    If you read carefully what Im saying you're realize im saying fuck the french with a 20 foot totem pole.


By Pepe on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 05:09 pm:

    Fuck you all


By Rowlfe on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 06:16 pm:

    I must join in at poking fun at stereotypes by possibly creating other ones


    What Americans don't understand is that the French of all peoples in the world, when it comes to how they view themselves, are the most like Americans, and they dont even realize it..

    When I see francophobia in the US, I see a lot of self-hate. They accuse the French of the same things the USA has negative stereotypes for: being loud, arrogant, smelly, overly patriotic, ignorant and rude.


    What I see is the French, when asked for their opinion, are much more honest more often and make no apologies about it. Example: if someone looks fat in 'that dress', an American says "oh, you're okay. I'm fat. You're so pretty!" where a French person just says "yes, I think you need to drop some weight if you're going to wear that". As for Canadians, we apologize and then attempt to tell the truth. if it gets a bad reaction, we backpedal.

    Americans think the French are impolite and unfriendly I think because the French also keep their statements short and to the point. They are known to not carry out very long conversations. Also the French supposedly are rude because they are known to 'ignore you'. Even with Quebecers here, the French will ignore you if they are a waiter or work as a store worker or at a reception desk. They think it is rude to interrupt you when you're eating or just looking through a store. What you think is them ignoring you is what they think is being polite. A French person does not smile to be polite like a Bob Evans waitress. Now I love going to Tennessee and the Cracker Barrell and Bob Evans' waitresses, but theres something to be said about getting a smile or a laugh from someone and knowing that they mean it. A French person/Quebecer hates getting their picture taken without them knowing it. They might get upset and you'll think they're rude, but they'll think YOU were the one being impolite by doing it without asking.

    One isnt better than the other, its just different. But I see French people and Americans at each others throats and its pathetic to watch.


By patrick on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 06:22 pm:

    Blame Canada.



By Spider on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 07:04 pm:


By kazu on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 07:14 pm:

    At each others' throats? Whatever.

    Aside from the asinine "freedom fries" thing last year, I don't think that francophobia in the US has gotten that much worse than any other European stereotype, i.e. dumb polacks, drunken micks, and what have you. I'll accept that French tourists are probably treated coldly in many places, but it's not like they can't go out at night for fear of being beaten within inches of their life.

    Most Americans who really hate the French don't really like many people outside of America. They might give lip service to the countries that might support the US politically, but don't really care for foreigners of any kind. I had a friend in High School whose parents were so racist, her father wouldn't let her date anyone Portugese or Greek. Extreme. Yes, but I like that example anyway. And I also think it goes beyond Americans hating French. Different groups have their own little rivalries from which spring lots and lots of stupid stereotypes.

    Being from Boston, I hear more shit about Irish immigrants in Southy and Italians in the North End than I've ever heard about the French. And last year when Shannon was studying in Ireland and traveling to other places, she felt as though everywhere she went she was met with a certain amount of disdain for being an American. (It wasn't like they all hated her, but many put her on the defensive about what the US was doing). So, it's not just the French.


    Is it pathetic? Yes. But I think any kind of ferverent racism or xenophobia comes from self-hate and/or insecurities about identity and it's not just limited to the French.

    So...fuck 'em, and Blame Canada.


    Or the Finnish. Fuck the Fins. Has anyone ever met a Fin who wasn't just a little strange?


By Rowlfe on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 07:17 pm:


By kazu on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 07:20 pm:

    Are you recommending it? It sounds good and I am on something of a foreign film kick these days.


By Antigone on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 07:26 pm:

    All I know is that I'm fartin' up a shit storm here.


By Rowlfe on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 09:29 pm:

    actually, the movie is kinda 'eh'. It also depends on what mood you're in.

    Its basically 3 or 4 short stories in one movie, all of them very slow, bizarre and awkwardly shot. It got boring after a while but I'd still give it a mild recommendation.

    For bizarre Scandinavian film, I'd still recommend "the Idiots" instead. Incredibly offensive, kinda disgusting. Its about a commune of people who pretend to be retarded both out on the street for money and to prank people, but also at times in 'real life' as a fetish thing. its a difficult watch that might be embarrassing to share with others.


By Rowlfe on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 09:31 pm:

    this imdb post sums it up:


    This really is a sick piece of film! And maybe I mean this in a positive way, because I do not know what to think of it.

    There are two things I do know: It made me feel very sick and I really felt like throwing up a few times while watching. Not because of all the dicks and raw sex, they are in all independant dutch movies too, but because of the constant negative vibes I got from this movie. The second thing was that I still couldn't turn it off. It was like I was trapped in the middle of this and had no choice but to wait for it to end. The acting really grabs you, although I'm not sure if you can call it 'acting'. After all they are still normal people acting like idiots, like you and I would do in thier place. 'Acting', there it is. So it is acting after all..

    There I am, confused. Probably exactly what Von Trier was aiming at. He thought: 'Let's make a film that doesn't have a point, makes everyone feel uncomfortable and have semi-intellectuals talk about for years. And while I'm at it, I might as well get it banned in Ireland. Just for fun.'

    If I could turn back time a few hours, I might do it. I'm going to smoke something and watch a cheesy Friends-episode. That might get me some sleep tonight...


    and more:
    http://imdb.com/title/tt0154421/usercomments


By kazu on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 09:37 pm:

    Holy Shit! I can't wait to see the idiots! I put it on my list after Spider directed me to the Dogme site.


By J on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 01:58 am:

    If you want to see a weird movie,check out The Music Lovers by Ken Russell,you'll either love it or hate it,I loved it,but it's disturbing.At the end there were some very graphic scenes of Glenna Jackson in an asylum that turned my stomach.It's about the tortured life of Peter Tchaikovosky.Kind of like Fellini.


By J on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 02:23 am:

    Speaking of movies,do you,Ericbonnard like Jerry Lewis?Do you think that obnoxious bastard is a genius?


By Ericbonnard on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 06:37 am:

    Jerry Lewis is my favourite actor. I like Georges Bush too.


By semillama on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 09:34 am:

    "Georges" Bush - fantastic!


By Ericbonnard on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 11:27 am:

    A spelling mistake, it's fantastic!! Your life must be so exciting!


By semillama on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 12:01 pm:

    It's a lot more exciting than yours, especially since you missed the real joke.


By Ericbonnard on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 12:36 pm:

    What do you know about my life? I think you would surprised. Can you explain the real joke I missed?


By J on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 01:22 pm:

    I think it's lost in translation.


By Ericbonnard on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 02:12 pm:

    I've seen this fantastic movie, but I don't understand the joke...The name of Bill Murray Is Georges?


By semillama on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 02:49 pm:

    the joke is that you called Bush by a French first name, and Bush doesn't like France, so hence the humor.


By kazu on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 03:27 pm:

    I thought he was missing an apostrophe for the possive of George.


By sarah on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 04:11 pm:


    i thought what kazu thought.



By Ericbonnard on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 04:54 pm:

    understood


By Father Jack on Thursday, April 1, 2004 - 05:14 pm:

    Feck!!! ARSE!!!!!


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