|THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).|
| FUNCTIONS AND INSTALLATION |
Once you have installed your Blotto, there is no turning back. The fol-
lowing are the instructions for construction and use of this Box. Please
read and heed all warnings in the above section before you attempt to construct this Box.
>-:->> A Honda portable generator or a main power outlet like in a
stadium or some such place.
>-:->> A Radio Shack cord set for 400 volts that splices a female plug
into a fone line jack.
>-:->> A voltage meter to attach to the Box itself.
>-:->> A green base (i.e. one of the nice boxes about 3' by 4' that you
see around in your neighborhood.) They are the main switch
boards and would be a more effective line to start with. OR:
A regular fone jack (not your own, and not in your area code!)
>-:->> A soldering iron and much solder.
>-:->> A remote control or long wooden pole.
Now, you must have guessed the construction from that. If not, here goes,
I will explain in detail. Take the Honda Portable Generator and all of the
other listed equipment and go out and hunt for a green base. Make sure it is
one on the ground or hanging at head level from a pole, not the huge ones at
the top of telefone poles. Open it up with anything convenient, if you are
two feeble than fuck don't try this. Take a look inside... you are hunting
for color-coordinating lines of green and red. Now, take out your Radio Shack
cord and rip the meter thing off. Replace it with the voltage meter about. A
good level to set the voltage to is about 1000 volts. Now, attach the voltage
meter to the cord and set the limit for one thousand. Plug the other end of
the cord into the generator. Take the fone jack and splice the jack part
off. Open it up and match the red and green wires with the other red and
NOTE: If you just had the generator on and have done this in the correct
order, you will be a crispy critter. Keep the generator off until you
plan to start it up. Now, solder those lines together carefully. Wrap
duct tape or insulation tape around all of the wires. Now, place the
remote control right on to the start-up of the generator. If you have
the long pole, make sure it is very long and stand back as far away as
you can get and reach the pole over.
NOTICE: If you are going right along with this without reading the file
first, you still realize now that your area code is about to become
null! Then, getting back, switch the pole/remote control and run for
your damn life. Anywhere, just get away from it. It will be genera-
ting so much electricity that if you stand to close you will kill
yourself. The generator will smoke, etc. but will not stop. You are
now killing your area code, because all of that energy is spreading
through all of the fone lines around you in every direction.
Have a nice day!
--*-=> The Blotto Box: Aftermath <=-*--
Well, that is the plans for the most devastating and ultimately deadly
Box ever created. My hat goes off to: King Blotto (for the original idea),
Captain Xerox (for the suggestion about stadiums), and Modern ___ (for
the fact I was on his BBS when I thought of it.
I knew a guy here in Sydney who was going to make one.. never got around to it though unfortunately, would of heard about it otherwise :P
Laungh you must have a dick the size of a buss.
id never evean try it
I know phones they work on are diminishing... Thank god for COCOTs eh...
In many places you could reroot through a longdistance carrier, but I'm finding that doesn't really work these days...
If you want to make a lot of overseas calls it could be worth while taking a trip down Mexico way with the redbox on a greyhound bus.
It is even cheaper if you want to send a lot of fax material - this could be a good business idea for selling to hick towns at cut rates.