Do not be alarmed this is only a test. The Payphone Project: Do not be alarmed this is only a test.

By Test on Thursday, July 1, 1999 - 10:14 pm:

    This is a test

By MOonUniT on Friday, July 2, 1999 - 12:06 am:

    I've got my pencil ready....

By Naet on Friday, July 2, 1999 - 10:39 am:

    goddamnit i fucked up my name again.

By Moonunit on Friday, July 2, 1999 - 11:13 pm:

    Do you get point reductions for incorrect spelling?

By Abraxas on Saturday, July 3, 1999 - 01:42 am:

    But make sure you put your pencils back in your art-box before the teacher seeeeeeees....
    It's just then when the fat bully fuck that you hated since grade 2, tries to shake hands with you with a palm full of glue....picture it....
    7 other top deushes from the class gawking.....
    waitning to laugh...

    In the 80s you fucked their girlfriends...
    In the 90S you married their sisters.....

By R.C. on Saturday, July 3, 1999 - 04:00 am:

    In the 00's you learn to spell 'douche'.

By FETIDBEAVER on Saturday, July 3, 1999 - 10:09 am:

    What's a douche?
    How do I get one?

By R.C. on Sunday, July 4, 1999 - 02:08 am:

    Hint: Massengill. At any drug store.

    Or those big red water bottles w/the nozzle that were under yr grandmother's bathroom sink.

By Gee on Sunday, July 4, 1999 - 03:05 am:

    RC, please. I do not need to think about my grandmother using douche.

    How come people can misspell every other word in creation, but everyone wants to correct the people who can't spell "douche"? I can't spell "douche". I thought it was douch. Now I feel stupid. stupider.

    I really want to say something in the worst way, but I can't think of anything to say.

By Dave on Sunday, July 4, 1999 - 03:34 am:


By Dave on Sunday, July 4, 1999 - 03:35 am:

    Pass the douche.

By FETIDBEAVER on Sunday, July 4, 1999 - 07:41 am:

    After a long walk on the beach with my mom, discussing douches, I took your advice and went to "any drug store". Now I'm the vinegar and water beaver. This is going to take time to get use to. I've been the FETIDBEAVER for a long time. Maybe a twelve step program would help. "Hi! My name is Beaver and I'm a fetidholic"

By Agatha on Sunday, July 4, 1999 - 02:40 pm:

    one time, as a youngster living in providence, rhode island, i was walking down a fairly deserted street at about nine pm. this drunk man began to follow me, shouting all the while, "HEY! CAN I SMELL YOUR BEAVER?" i ignored him for about two blocks as he continued to follow me and shout at me. finally, something distracted him from my beaver and he began to turn down a side street. upon departure, he shouted out, "NEVERMIND! I CAN SMELL IT FROM HERE!"

    i still think it's pretty funny, upon reflection.

By FETIDBEAVER on Sunday, July 4, 1999 - 11:08 pm:

    Q. Why did Miss Piggy douche with honey and vinegar?

    A. Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork!

    WAKAWAKAWAKA.....I kwak myself up

By Nate on Monday, July 5, 1999 - 05:39 am:

    holy shit.

    eat ass, you fuck.

By FETIDBEAVER on Monday, July 5, 1999 - 06:40 am:

    As tempting as it is, I'm going to have to pass.
    My doctor, Dr. Sigmoid Colon has advised me to eat a low fat, non shit diet due to the fact that I'm full of shit. But thank you very much for the offer.

By J on Monday, July 5, 1999 - 12:00 pm:

    Fetidbeaver,I,ll give you a douche,but it sounds like an ennema might be needed,just tell me where to put the nozzle.Agatha,that was funny.

By FETIDBEAVER on Monday, July 5, 1999 - 06:15 pm:


By J on Monday, July 5, 1999 - 07:27 pm:

    FOFL!!!!Any port in a storm.

By Side show bob on Monday, July 5, 1999 - 09:08 pm:


By FETIDBEAVER on Monday, July 5, 1999 - 09:40 pm:

    No fair asking.

    Vanna I'd like to buy a there a








By Kwest on Wednesday, July 7, 1999 - 05:55 pm:

    fALL oN fLOOR lOudly ?


By South paw on Wednesday, July 7, 1999 - 05:56 pm:

    Dave, "on the left hand side?"

By Waffleboy on Wednesday, July 7, 1999 - 06:03 pm:

    shouldn't that be "pick a hole and come up a WEINER" ?????

    ok ok I know, i know, but what the hell

By FETIDBEAVER on Wednesday, July 7, 1999 - 08:02 pm:

    I think that's "pick a hole and get entered by a WEINER"

    Hot dogs, Oscar Meyer hot dogs,.......

By J on Wednesday, July 7, 1999 - 08:14 pm:

    Oh,I just got that, laughing so hard ...side hurt...need help!!

By FETIDBEAVER on Wednesday, July 7, 1999 - 08:44 pm:

    I was going to call 911 for you but I can't find the eleven button on this phone.

By FeedItToBeaver on Thursday, July 8, 1999 - 07:35 pm:

    it's right under the Q button on the phone dial.

By FETIDBEAVER on Friday, July 9, 1999 - 09:55 am:

    Aww shit this cheap Walmart phone is missing the Q button and the Z button. I think I'll exchange it for neosporin (put on owl bite), tootsie pops, 1 case fleets enemas and a turpentine douche.

By Eyvette on Thursday, January 20, 2000 - 03:44 am:

    FETIDBEAVER, feeling that not so fresh feeling?

By Test on Saturday, September 30, 2000 - 04:06 pm:

    Test Test Test Test

By Jj on Tuesday, October 1, 2002 - 07:12 pm:


By Dougie on Wednesday, October 2, 2002 - 08:32 am:

    FB was a pretty funny dude. I just read this whole thread. Agatha, your story was funny too.

By agatha on Wednesday, October 2, 2002 - 06:33 pm:

    just call me freak magnet.

By J on Thursday, October 3, 2002 - 03:25 am:

    I hear you Agatha me too,actually Dougie I was wishing you were Fetidbeaver and had just morphed like we sometimes do,your certainly as funny and I got the biggest kick out of F.B. he even called the Baseline Pub for me and Tommy,I also called the aunt of the creep that committed the arson that killed his fireman brother,and I was proud to do it.But I do know he went to Mexico and copped some heavy meds,he didn't post for a long time and after he did finally I e-mailed him and he did say he had O.D. on something,and his new wife who was a nurse saved his life.The last time I personally heard from him,he was kind enough to take the time to give me the skinny on nurseing homes and I just thought the world of him like I do all of you and if your not Fetidbeaver will you just lie to me and say your are? Funny I saved alot of his e-mails,now they have disapeared,I know I spelled that wrong but I've been partying.

By Dougie on Thursday, October 3, 2002 - 09:17 am:

    Sure J, no problem.

By MAX on Tuesday, June 10, 2003 - 08:02 pm:

    What in the hell does this have to do with\
    payphones, you dumb fuck ass-wipes?

By Floyd on Tuesday, June 10, 2003 - 08:27 pm:

    you tell em MAX

By DJ on Monday, August 2, 2004 - 07:40 am:


By Phone on Friday, August 6, 2004 - 01:22 am:

    You guys are mucha douche.........

By Mala-dicta on Friday, August 6, 2004 - 02:54 am:

    They pop up like butt berries,then they are gone......assholes

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