a payphone manifesto

sorabji.com: The Payphone Project: a payphone manifesto

By Ann awnimuss on Thursday, March 22, 2001 - 04:28 am:

    I myself will not waste my time criticizing or insulting a pay phone as 1) it is unlikely to change, and 2) a pay phone probably revels in the letters of shock and repulsion that it regularly receives. Instead, I will focus on its grungy ebullitions, which, after all, are the things that produce a new generation of illaudable a pay phone clones whose opinions and prejudices, far from being enlightened and challenged, are simply legitimized. It is worth noting at the outset that I believe I have finally figured out what makes organizations like it tinker about with a lot of halfway prescriptions. It appears to be a combination of an overactive mind, lack of common sense, assurance of one's own moral propriety, and a total lack of exposure to the real world. Perhaps if a pay phone thought about it, it'd realize that I didn't want to talk about this. I really didn't. But if we contradict it, we are labelled detestable thugs. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms.

    The biggest difference between me and a pay phone is that a pay phone wants to condition the public to accept violence as normal and desirable. I, on the other hand, want to shatter the adage that corporatism can quell the hatred and disorder in our society. Most of us who have been around for a while realize that a pay phone's credos may have been conceived in idealism, but they quickly degenerated into uncivilized post-structuralism. This is not the place to develop that subject. It demands many pages of analysis, which I can't spare in this letter. Instead, I'll just state the key point, which is that one of the great mysteries of modern life is, Why can't we all just get along? I don't pretend to know the answer, but I do know that a pay phone appears to have found a new tool to use to help it manufacture and compile daunting lists of imaginary transgressions committed against it. That tool is anti-intellectualism, and if you watch it wield it, you'll honestly see why I wouldn't want to throw us into a "heads I win, tails you lose" situation. I would, on the other hand, love to review the basic issues at the root of the debate. But, hey, I'm already doing that with this letter. A pay phone's hatred knows no bounds. Sure, it sounds witless. Blame that on hateful liars and cheats.

    In a manner of speaking, only the impartial and unimpassioned mind will even consider that most of you reading this letter have your hearts in the right place. Now follow your hearts with actions. We should note, of course, that what I've written about a pay phone doesn't prove anything in itself. It's only suggestive, but it does make a good point that it's irrelevant that my allegations are 100% true. A pay phone distrusts my information and arguments and will forever maintain its current opinions. I have to laugh when a pay phone says that it defends the real needs of the working class. Where in the world did it get that idea? Not only does that idea contain absolutely no substance whatsoever, but if this letter did nothing else but serve as a beacon of truth, it would be worthy of reading by all right-thinking people. However, this letter's role is much greater than just to provide a positive, confident, and assertive vision of humanity's future and our role in it.

    A pay phone operates on an international scale to create an ideological climate that will enable it to abet a resurgence of rotten, unambitious oligarchism. It's only fitting, therefore, that we, too, work on an international scale, but to deal summarily with the most revolting ingrates I've ever seen. A pay phone will hate me for saying this, but the encroachment of filthy hatchet jobs into the social fabric of our politics, our institutions, and our laws would give credence to my claim that its subliminal psywar campaigns are colored by a sycophantic adoration of Dadaism. So let it call me lawless. I call it bleeding-heart.

    A pay phone dreams of a time when they'll be free to jawbone aimlessly. That's the way it's planned it, and that's the way it'll happen -- not may happen, but will happen -- if we don't interfere, if we don't step back and consider the problem of its cop-outs in the larger picture of popular culture imagery. The problem with a pay phone is not that it's yawping. It's that it wants to confuse, disorient, and disunify. Ask yourself: Is it possible for those who defend unprincipled blackguardism to make their defense look more vitriolic than it currently is? I bet you'll answer the same way that I did, because we both know that even when the facts don't fit, a pay phone sometimes tries to use them anyway. It still maintains, for instance, that the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one's psyche is to take rights away from individuals whom only a pay phone perceives as meddlesome. Some of us have an opportunity to come in contact with the worst types of offensive misinformed-types there are on a regular basis at work or in school. We, therefore, may be able to gain some insight into the way they think, into their values; we may be able to understand why they want to hamstring our efforts to do what comes naturally. Before you read this letter, you might have thought that there is an international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. Now you know that a pay phone is the type of organization who would pursue a twofold credo of misoneism and revisionism if it got the chance.

By Czarina on Thursday, March 22, 2001 - 10:57 am:

    Hon,if a payphone stole your money,just call em,they'll probably send you a refund.

    Let me point out that a payphone is an inanimate object,and therefore incapable of emitting emotions,or subversive plots.

By Ihavenohandle on Friday, April 20, 2001 - 11:34 am:

    i got my own. both me and the payfone steal. I
    steal calls from the payfone and they payfone
    steals money from me.



By Bobby on Saturday, April 21, 2001 - 01:33 am:

    If you have no hand, do you do anything fun with the stump?


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